WARNING: DARK! DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! Read at your own risk!


Friday November 7th

Easy. Easy now. Careful now! Gotta get this just right. Don't wanna ruin it now! OH NO!

"Potato!" Mac said loudly. "Stupid blocks!" She was sitting in the big room in the house, playing with a bunch of blocks trying to build a big tower. She had managed to make it up to 9 blocks high before the stupid thing fell over.

Mom rushed over. "How high did you get this time Mackenzie?" she asked. "And why are you still saying potato?"

"Because it's a cool word Mom. And I got alllllll the way up to nine this time! Isn't it amazing."

Her Mom gave her a warm smile. "Good work Mackenzie. But you have to clean up now. Sam and Brooke will be here any minute." With that her big tall Mom rose and walked back to the food place.

"Brooke! And Sammy. Oh boy." Mac immediately set to cleaning up, wanting everything to be great for when her big sisters showed up. She heard her Mom yell something, but it wasn't at her, it was at Dad, who was now holding his finger under the water and making weird noises. Adults are weird, but what can you do.

Mac grabbed the last set of blocks and threw them into her toy holding box, then proceeded to start dragging it towards the closet where she kept it. As she was dragging it, her Mom came spinning out of the kitchen and knocked the box over, spilling blocks and other toys everywhere, causing Mac to spit out another, "Oh POTATOS!"

But Mom didn't seem sorry that she'd knocked over her blocks. Instead she just said, "Watch out Mac!" before proceeding to run into laundry room. Again… adults are weird.

Mac sighed and started throwing toys back into the box. Her dad came over to help, but Mac saw that he had white paper all over his finger. "What happened daddy?" She pointed helpfully to his finger.

Dad smiled. "Dad did something dumb and burned his finger dear. It's just tender."

"Well don't do that daddy!"

Dad just shrugged back. "I know Mackenzie. Ok, let's get this into the closet. I think I hear Brooke pulling up."

Mac excitedly tried to push the box into the closet, but all she succeeded at doing was tripping over her own feet. Dad helpfully picked it up and put it away just as the door rang.

"BROOKIEEEEEE!" Mac tore off, her little feet skidding on the wooden floors before finding purchase and she zoomed over to the door, her Mom catching her with a word of "slow down" before opening the door.

"Hi Brooke. Happy Thanksgiving. How are you?" Mom asked as she hugged Brooke while Mac waited impatiently for her turn with Brooke.

"Happy thanksgiving to you too Jane, thanks. I'm good. Everything's going pretty smoothly."

Mac couldn't take it anymore! She forced her way past her Mom and hugged Brooke's leg. "Hi," she said, suddenly shy.

Brooke reached over and hefted her up, holding her up. "Well what do we have here? A pirate? Nope. Hmmm. Are you a superhero?" Mac shook her head. "Oh. Well… maybe you're a TICKLE BUG!" exclaimed Brooke as she gently lowered Mac and started tickling her crazily. Mac tried to escape but Brooke was right there, tickling her and Mac just kept on laughing.

"Brooke. Ahahah. Bwooke. hahaha BWOOOOKKE. Stop! Hahaha." Finally Brooke let her go and Mac ran away giggling madly, hiding behind a chair as Brooke said hi to her dad.

Moments later the two parents returned to the kitchen leaving Brooke alone with Mac, who immediately rushed over. "Wanna play?" asked Mac.

Brooke smiled. "Of course I do Macster. What do you wanna play?" Something seemed wrong with Brooke to Mac. She didn't seem normal.

"Wanna play Tic Tac Toe."

"Do I!" exclaimed Brooke, but Mac realized that Brooke was just going along with her. She didn't really want to. She'd been getting better at noticing when older people didn't mean what they said.

"We don't have to Brooke. I can tell something's wrong."

Brooke's smile fades. "Oh Mac darling. There's nothing wrong with you. I love you."

Mac lowered her head, looking at her feet instead. "I know. But you know, if something's wrong you can tell me you know." She felt a hand raising her head.

"I know Mac. But nothing's wrong."

Just then dad walked in. "I dunno Brooke. You've seemed all out of sorts as of late. Especially over the last few weeks."

Brooke frowned. "Not you too! Oh come on, I've just been stressed is all."

Daddy frowned. "Brooke, you do know that I'm always here for you. And so is Jane."

"And me too!" Mac piped in helpfully.

Brooke smiled faintly. "I know. And if there was anything wrong or anything you could help with I'd be here in a second. But everything is good. Believe me."

Dad just nodded slowly, the in that way he nodded when he knows you're lying but isn't going to call you on it. Mac knew that nod well; she'd seen it a lot!

"So where's Sammy?" Mac asked.

Brooke sighed and shrugged. "I haven't seen her or Devon in over 2 weeks. Last time I saw her we had a bit of a fight. But she's been busy, and I've been busy. I'm sure she'll be here."

"Fighting again Brooke? I thought you were well past that," commented Dad.

"We are… were. I dunno. It was something stupid, she wanted to help me and I didn't need her help. It's probably already behind us."

"Oh boy. I hope you two are better tonight," commented Jane as she swept into the room. "Mike, I need you in the kitchen."

"Yes Ma'am," he said as he left the room.

The two sisters sat quietly for a moment, before Mac rose and grabbed Brooke's hand. "Come on, let's play."

"Ok."


The doorbell rang 20 minutes later, and Mac immediately ran to the door, sliding to a stop in front of it. She laboriously started opening the door but thankfully Brooke helped her and it finally opened.

"Sam!" exclaimed Mac, instantly clutching to Sam's leg. Sam didn't look too well but Mac didn't care.

"Hey Mac-attack. How's it going?" Her voice was a little grainy too.

"It's fun! And it's Thanksgiving. That means there's a turkey monster that we get to eat!"

The boy with Sam crouched down next to Mac. "There sure is! Hey Mac. Do you remember me?" Mac shook her head and hid her face in Sam's leg, getting a bad feeling about him. "I'm Devon, Sam's boyfriend. Good to see you again. You're getting bigger all the time."

Mac smiled but didn't say anything, and suddenly they were being ushered in by the parents.

"Sam, why were you late?" asked Mom inquisitively, ever the questioner.

"Sorry Mom, I got tied up. It was totally my fault.

Mom sighed and walked over to Sam, brushing a stray piece of hair from her face. "Are you ok? You don't look very well. Have you been sick?"

Sam glanced at Devon, whose face remained impassive. "Oh thanks Mom. That's just what every girl likes to hear. I'm fine; I've just been stressed with school."

Devon wrapped her arms around Sam. "She's a busy bee."

"A controlled bee," muttered Brooke, quiet enough that Mom and Dad missed it. Sam gave her a shocked look while Devon just smirked and shook his head.

"Brooke. So good to see you." Sam's voice was forced and a little cold.

"Sorry sis. Slipped out," Brooke said sweetly. "Devon, glad to see you came, didn't decide to steal Sam here all for yourself."

Devons grin widened. "Gotta share her with the world you know."

The parents, sensing that tensions were rising, intervened, pulling everyone into the kitchen for chat, though Brooke remained silent. The parents of course scolded Sam for never calling or coming over anymore, which Mac totally agreed with them about. Mac waited and waited while they talked, blah blah blah!

Finally there was a pause and Mac rushed in, grabbing Sam by the arm and dragging her away, not that Sam was protesting but smiling instead.

"Wanna play blocks?" Mac asked.

"Oooh let's make a big tower," said Sam excitedly. "What's your best one?

Mac ran to the closet, opening it excitedly. "I made a nine high tower earlier! But then I fell it."

Sam smiled at Mac over her still progressing vocabulary as she came up beside and groaned as she picked up the box of blocks. "Oh wow, this is heavy."

Mac frowned. "What do you mean it's heavy? It's just my toys."

Sam put down the box, and Mac wondered if Sam was actually being serious about that. Was something wrong with Sammy too? Sam smiled at Mac. "I'm just kidding kiddo." She bent over and winced, but started pulling out blocks. Mac joined a moment later, and soon they had a huge pile of blocks.

Mac immediately plopped down and started building a tower, while Sam lowered herself slower and more carefully.

"Careful Mac! Ooh, I'll race you." Sam started to build her own tower, and Mac started to rush to keep ahead. Six high though and she got so excited that she knocked her tower over with waving hands.

"Oh Potatoe!" Smiling slyly, Mac reached over and knocked over Sam's tower. "Hah! Got you Smammy!"

"Smammy? Why are you calling me Smammy?"

"Cause," was Mac's simple reply, like it was obvious.

Sam grinned and reached for a block but winced as she had to bend forward to do it. Mac didn't say anything, just started building her tower again, this time Sam added to it and helped her.

And boy did they ever build a tower! They managed to get it 15 blocks high.

"Ok Mac, one more and we'll break our record. Let's do this real careful like!" Mac nodded, afraid to speak and instead shakily grabbed a block and passed it to Sam.

Sam smiled and said thank you, but then turned her head to tower, her tongue sticking out of her mouth just a pinch in a sign of concentration. She very slowly lowered it, and the tower wobbled for a moment, causing the two of them to gasp. But then it steadied, and Mac squealed. "NEW RECORD! YAY! SMAAAAAMMMMYYY!" She lept and jumped onto Sam's back, wrapping her arms around her shoulders.

Sam immediately cried out in pain and jerked, her leg clipping the tower and knocking it down. "Oh no! Mac I'm sorry! Look what I did." Sam turned to look at Mac.

"It's ok Sam. Did I hurt you?" asked Mac contritely

Sam looked at her in shock for a moment, before shaking her head. "No, not really. Just surprised me is all."

"Are you sure Sam? Didn't look and sound like that to me?" It was Mom, who had entered into the room and silently sat down, Brooke hovering a little behind. She was now staring Sam down and it was plain to see that Sam was a little unnerved by it.

Sam seemed to regain her nerve a second later though. "Yea Mom, I'm fine. I just started kickboxing and stuff so I'm sore is all," she replied as she rose and started to make for the kitchen, Mac following behind.

Mom remained sitting as Sam passed by. "Really?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Yes mother. I'm sure. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make sure Devon hasn't spilled any dark secrets of mine." She said it with a smile though.

She kept walking and Mac followed blindly, but she did hear Brooke say, "I'm positive you don't kickbox," but either it was quiet enough Sam didn't hear or she just let the comment pass.

Mac frowned. Grown-ups are just so weird.


They chatted at the kitchen for a few minutes while Jane was frantically running around finishing dinner up. Sam kept getting this queasy feeling though every time Brooke spoke. Everything she said seemed to be a little dig at Devon, and it was starting to both annoy and scare her.

Had she figured out something? Obviously not the whole thing or she'd be screaming it, but maybe she knew Devon was doing something. It was starting to make her nervous.

What was even more frightening was that Devon was just taking it in stride, giving this superior smile to both Brooke and Sam whenever Brooke took a dig at him, never even rising to the occasion. She had to work to conceal a shudder.

Finally Jane pronounced it dinner time and everyone rushed to the table. Sam however grabbed Brooke and kept her in the kitchen a moment.

"Brooke, can I talk to you for a second?"

Brooke smiled. "Sure thing sis. What's up?"

"I, erm, I would appreciate it if you'd cut back on the… comments… about Devon. They are not really nice comments."

Brooke looked at her shocked, but Sam had a feeling it was an act. "Comments? What do you mean comments?"

Sam's voice dropped to a growl. "Cut the crap princess. You're making fun and insulting Devon all subtle like, but everyone knows what you're doing. It's not nice to go after my boyfriend like that."

"Well why can't I?"

Sam snorted. "What's your issue? You jealous or something?"

"I'm not jealous! Why would I be jealous about him!" Brooke stopped and took a breath, seemingly berating herself and suddenly she switched gears. "I just… I dunno. I guess I'm just a little contrary tonight. I'm sorry; I'll try to be better."

Sam nodded. "That's all I can ask Brooke. And… look I'm sorry about what I just said. I'm just a little on edge right now."

"It's ok Sam. Wanna talk about it?"

"Not on my life," thought Sam. But she said, "Maybe later. We'll see," instead.

Brooke left for the dining room while Sam stood in the kitchen a moment longer. Thank god. Maybe a disaster could be averted now. Devon had warned her before they came, that there shouldn't be any 'funny business' tonight. And Brooke going after Devon certainly fell under that category. She knew exactly what awaited her if she didn't keep control of Brooke. And she really didn't think she could handle it right now.

She sighed and headed into the dining room. Maybe Brooke would be fine now. But as soon as she entered and saw the glint in Brooke's eyes, she knew that Brooke wasn't done.


"Brooke, I've had enough," barked Sam, rising angrily from her seat. Devon simply sat next to her, a slight grin on his face, like he knew some hideous inside joke that no one else did.

Well, except for Sam. She had a feeling she knew exactly what that joke was, which was to say, she was the joke! Brooke had of course jumped right at Devon, digging into him all through dinner. Sam had noticed the parents exchanging some glances over it, but they hadn't commented on it. Devon himself just took each insult or sly comment with a smile. But Sam was done with it.

"Had enough of what Sam?" she replied all innocent like.

Sam couldn't help the growl escape from her throat. She started to reply, but then instead shut her mouth and took a deep breath. Control. Instead she replied in a very much so plain voice, like she was talking about the weather. "You have something against Devon. Fine, I can live with that. What I won't live with is you insulting him all the time in front of him, our parents and myself."

She looked at Devon, suddenly wondering if she was doing the right thing. "Let's leave?" She phrased it neutrally, more like a question, as if searching for his support.

Devon's grin faded. "Whatever you want Sam."

Sam suddenly wasn't sure what to do. Did he want to leave? Should she be trying to stay. No, it was best they leave. "Ok. Mom, Mike, Mac, I'm terribly sorry. Maybe next time we can have a civilized dinner."

Jane sighed and frowned. "Ok dear. Bye Devon. It was good to see you again." She gave him a hug, and Mike likewise shook his hand and said goodbye while Mac just waved shyly.

Brooke stayed sitting as the parents, and Sam hoped she was feeling bad about what she'd been doing while Sam and Devon made there way to the door.

Devon gave Sam a quick peck. "I'll go wait in the car sweety. Don't be too long." With that he was gone, leaving Sam fuming with her Mom and Mike.

"Sam, can't we talk about this? I think you're overreacting," said Jane softly.

"You're taking her side! After she acts all bitchy, I'm not supposed to stand up for my boyfriend, my relationship, or myself? When she attacks him, she attacks me Mom, and she's been doing it in spades tonight.

Mike sighed. "Sam, we're not taking her side. You're right, Brooke was out of line, but you could have just asked her to stop."

Brooke and Mac and joined them at the door, and Sam shot Brooke a cold glare. "I did. I asked her to stop. And she said she would. Three seconds later she was back to it."

Mike frowned at his daughter while Jane just shook her head. "I thought you two were past this," said Jane softly. "I guess some things never change. But come on Sam, stay. Don't do this. You're going too far."

Sam just huffed. "That's rich. No thanks Mom. You're right, some things never do change. She's still your golden child, just like High School. Bye Mac, I'm sorry I'm leaving so soon, but I'll make it up to you. Ice cream sometime, ok?"

Sam didn't give her a chance to answer, just turned around and walked out the door, slamming it behind her. Sam heard it open a moment later behind her and her Mom call her, but ignored it and just got into the passenger seat of the car.

"Let's go," Sam said sadly.

Devon was mercifully silent, merely accelerating and heading towards home. They both sat in the quiet peace, Sam staring out the window and watching the houses and trees wiz by.

This was just so frustrating! Thing were beginning to pile up, and Sam wasn't sure how much more she could take. This whole thing with Brooke annoyed Sam even more because she had done so much for Brooke and this was how she repaid her. Sam was overcome by anger for a moment, so much that her fists were clenching and she desperately wanted to hit something, but a moment later the feeling passed and she regained control.

She thought back to her confrontation with Chris.


"Sam! What are you doing here?" Chris seemed surprised to see her, his door only half opened and staying that way judging by the way Chris was standing.

"What do you think dickweed?"

Chris just smiled broadly at her. "Ah. You're here about that. Look Sam, you're not very menacing, maybe you should just leave." He started to close the door, but found that Sam immediately stepped in, blocking the door from closing.

"We're having this discussion, whether you want it or not. So why don't you just let me in now and save me from screaming this one through a door with you?"

Chris seemed to hesitate for a moment, thinking it over before nodding and opening the door, grin growing. "This is interesting. Come on in."

He turned and headed to the living room, Sam following but confident in her control of the situation.

"So asshole, here's the deal. You leave Brooke the fuck alone, and then there's no problem."

Chris shrugged. "Sam, there's already a problem. The only thing is, you don't see how you're the problem. Get it through your head Sam. Brooke was great. Was being the operative word there. You changed her. Don't give me that look of confusion, maybe you can't see it but you did."

"Whatever I may or may not have done, don't pin this on Brooke."

He smiled wickedly. "I'm not. You never noticed, did you? Of course not, Devon has you wrapped around his finger. I saw it. Didn't figure out what was going on until just recently."

"Look, I don't care what you think you know, or… hell, I don't give a shit about anything to do with you. Except that you should leave Brooke the hell alone. Next time things won't be so pleasant," Sam stepped menacingly close to him, trying to intimidate him.

Chris laughed straight to her face. "I don't really think it's any of your business. And neither will Devon. Brooke will get what the bitch deserves."

Before the sentence was out Sam's hand had lashed out, slapping Chris hard enough he actually staggered. His hand came up to his face, as he rubbed the already reddening mark. He looked up at Sam, who's eyes were full of raw fury. He supposed if he didn't know what he did, he'd be worried.

But he did know.

Chris just grinned wider. "Pretty good one. Learn that one fighting with Devon dearest? Yea, that's right. I know all about it. He'll know what you just did. I don't have to do a thing, as enjoyable as it would be. You're not worth it."

Sam's eyes never came off him, the cold fury emanating off her in waves. But Chris didn't seem to notice. "It doesn't matter. Leave… Brooke… Alone…"

"Ok Sammy, I hear what you're saying. Now get the fuck out." He pointed to the door as he spoke, and Sam turned and left.


That night was not a good night. It was probably one of the worst in Sam's memory. At least, of the times she fully remembered. Standing had been an issue the next day, though sitting wasn't much more comfortable. He had even hit her once with a bat in the knee, not bad enough that there was permanent damage, but he said that it 'served as a warning'. Well it warned her alright. She had to be good for Devon. But she didn't regret protecting Brooke. She hadn't even protested once during the beating, had just taken it. She had known it was coming when she'd gone to confront Chris. Well… Devon was trying to fix her many problems, but that one she knew she was right with. Even Devon made mistakes. She forgave and loved him still.

Sam glanced up as they pulled in and Sam obediently followed Devon to their home.

"Well. That wasn't pleasant now was it Sammy," Devon started the second the door closed as he wrapped his arms around her in a hug. "Brooke was not very nice, wouldn't you agree."

Sam hugged him tightly, snuggling her face into his shoulder, breathing in his scent. "No, she wasn't. Didn't matter what I did, she just was a bitch tonight."

"Well Sam, you can't win them all I guess. But I really thought you could keep a better hold of your sister. With the way she's acting and all."

Sam pulled back so she could look at him. "I tried. But I can't control Brooke, she's her own person."

Devon sighed. "Well of course you can't control Brooke. But why the hell can't you at least keep her civil to me, huh?" His voice was getting a bit louder, more threatening.

"I tried ok, please! I left didn't I. I wanted the night to go well and I couldn't take her being like that to you."

"We shouldn't have had to leave," he said coldly. "Sam, you know I love you. And I think you love me. But with the way you act, so stupidly, so naively, so… callously. I'm not sure I can put up with this. I don't think anyone can."

"It's not like that…" Sam said weakly, already on the verge of tears.

"No of course not. Poor little Sammy, always trying so hard. No wonder I'm the only one who will have you," he spat out venomously. "And I don't think I can handle it much more. Even your dad would be having trouble with you."

"I know! Please, you have to help me. Don't leave. Please, anything, whatever you want," Sam begged, as she clutched at him. She was in full on tears. She couldn't stand the thought of being alone. He was right, no one would touch her. There was something fundamentally wrong with her, and she didn't understand why. But Devon did.

Devon lifted her hands away from him. "Don't touch me. You disgust me."

Sam collapsed to her knees. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't leave me; I don't want to be alone. I need you." Her head dropped as she spoke, and it seemed more like she wasn't speaking to Devon so much as just speaking.

And Devon smiled. He didn't say anything, instead crouched down next to her as his smile was replaced with a look of anguish for Sam. "Sam, why do you keep doing this to me? You dragged Brooke and Amanada and Shawn and Gary down. Now you're going to take me down to."

"No I won't. You're strong enough. You can save me." Devon's hand lashed out, catching her in the belly and Sam cried out and huddled into a ball.

"Don't presume to tell me you won't take me down. You will. But maybe I will bring you up too. Get up." She didn't move initially. "I said get up."

Sam obediently rose.

"Now we're going to have a lesson, get it," Devon said darkly. "And the lesson is 2 things tonight. One, is that you have to keep Brooke from being a bitch to us. And two, is that you don't tell me what will happen."

Sam nodded. And then she closed her eyes and waited for the lesson to be imparted.


Sam stared at the ceiling. She'd been staring at it for close to 2 hours now. She could tell Devon was asleep next to her by the deep and steady breathing noises. She smiled at the little snores he would occasionally make. They weren't like deep throaty snores; more like soothing noises. Before she could let her mind wander, she focused back on the ceiling.

She'd been getting better at that, keeping her attention on something. She practiced on trivial stuff like the ceiling, since she figured if she could focus on that, she could focus on the interesting things she needed to. She'd gotten more practice earlier tonight. After the lesson… she felt herself shudder involuntarily… Devon had helped her to the bed. The lesson hadn't been too bad. But she could feel that something was wrong with her wrist. She smiled to herself as she thought back. A year ago she'd be at the hospital complaining over the tiny bit of pain in her wrist and on breathing. Not anymore. Yet another improvement Devon had made on her. The next part had been more practice for focus. She had simply stared at the ceiling as Devon did his thing. It had been over quickly, and Sam found that she… enjoyed it more; perhaps it was the knowledge that even as it – for Sam didn't know what to call it - happened she was improving for Devon in another way.

She felt bile rise in her throat, but closed her eyes and focused on causing it to lower. Only a bit reached her mouth which she swallowed, leaving a foul taste in her mouth. Still, she knew she needed to throw up, there was something that needed out, she could feel it. Maybe Devon had gotten some of the problem part of her ready to leave, and the puking was needed to finish it. She quietly rose from the bed and padded to the bathroom carefully and slowly. Closing the door, she raised the seat lid and waited. Nothing happened for a few seconds, and then it was like a torrent she couldn't stop. It was over in seconds though, and Sam grabbed a towel and wiped her mouth and cleared her watery eyes, as the act of puking had caused some pain in her chest and her eyes had involuntarily teared.

She brought the towel away and saw there was blood. Nothing to panic over, probably just her lip. Then she looked into the bowl and saw that her puke was saturated red.

"Shit," she whispered softly. But it didn't sound like the strong voice she wanted it to. It was weak, like a small childs. "Guess I know what I'm doing tomorrow morning," she continued, smiling to herself. Weird how she found that funny.


"Fell down the stairs, you say? Into what? A stampede of bulls?" The doctor asked, sounding annoyed. "Look Lilly, it's pretty obvious what's going on."

Sam – having given her name as Lilly - growled at the doctor, whose name she could see was Jake Farginson. "I don't know what you're talking about," Sam replied coldly to Jake.

He sighed, lifting her shirt slightly to look at the bruises again. "Ok Lilly, here's the thing. Stairs leave thin lined bruises. You have circular and oval bruises. And you know what that tells me?"

"That I don't give a shit?" Sam barked back.

The doctor sighed. "Let me call the police. I know your name isn't Lilly. And I figure that seeing as you're here with no insurance or records, even if I do they might have a hard time doing anything, but let me do it anyways."

Sam laughed in his face. "Doctor-patient confidentiality. Leave me alone Dr Farginson."

"Call me Jake. And there are exceptions if a doctor thinks there is a danger to your life. And Lilly, with a cracked rib, internal bleeding, your wrist being severely sprained, and all those bruises, you are going to die if this keeps up," the doctor said as kindly as he could. "I just want to help you."

"Well you can't. You won't. Besides, like I said, I fell so it won't happen again."

Jake sighed, running his hand through his hair. He was pretty young, low 30's or late 20's. Probably just graduated from medical school Sam guessed. He sat down next to her on the examining table. "I see this all the time you know. Once a day at least. Some are desperate for help and bursting to tell me. Others tell me what happened but beg me to do nothing. Everything across the spectrum, I think I've seen it, and I've only been doing this for a year, splitting my time between here and the ER. I've had others, like yourself, who are desperate for no one to know. It's you who scare me the most. Lilly… its people like you who I never see again. And that crushes me inside because I know I could stop it. But I'm not allowed, and the few times I've tried, I've gotten in enough trouble that I nearly lost my medical license."

Sam remained silent. He had written out prescriptions for pain meds and antibiotics she knew she desperately needed, but hadn't given them to her. She knew he was going to make his pitch and then she'd get them. She just had to let the man spew his bullshit about caring about her and then she'd be gone.

"Here's the thing. Everyone says that it's not the victims fault. That they've done nothing wrong and that they shouldn't feel shame, that they shouldn't feel like they've done wrong. And hey, they're right. You've done nothing wrong Lilly. You could just do more right. By telling me." Sam scowled at him. "But that's not the point of this. My point is that society says that you are a victim and need help. And then we say to keep it quiet. Those who try to help get punished. The fact is, society doesn't want to accept that it happens. They condone it if it becomes public, but of course, it doesn't happen that much, so what's the big deal. But that's not the truth. It happens everywhere. And you're a part of that."

"Break the cycle Lilly. Help me help you. Help me… help myself even. Cause I can't stand this much longer."

Sam didn't answer for a long moment. "What happened?"

"What?" he replied.

"To the ones you tried to help."

Jake lowered his head. "The first one… she… she got out. For awhile at least. The second one, she…" He took a deep breathe. "Look, it doesn't matter what happened to them. What matters is what happens to you."

"She's dead, isn't she?" asked Sam meekly. "Don't lie to me. You tried and she died cause of it didn't she? Bet you felt real smart after that jackass." Jake didn't respond. "You know, considering how backed up this clinic is, and how busy you are, I don't know why you're wasting your time here."

The doctor rose. "Lilly, don't do this." He pulled out his phone, glanced at her chart and punched in a number. "Hello, my name is Doctor Farginson, I'm calling looking for Lilly Ferrehon. Wrong number? You don't say, sorry to bother you."

He lowered the phone and looked at Sam pointedly. "Well, this is interesting. Let me see your phone." Sam shook her head, so he just waved the form in her face. "That's a criminal offence you know, lying on these forms. I could have the police haul you in. And I'd have to tell them the events that transpired here, including your injuries."

"I'm not an idiot, I know you're bluffing."

"Let me see your phone, and I won't have to call the police," he continued more forcefully.

Sam stared at him, contemplating, before acquiescing, handing it over. He fiddled with the two phones before passing it back to her. "My number is in there. And I have your number. If you ever need to talk, you can call me and I will listen."

"You never could call the cops, could you?" she snarled after her phone was in her hand.

He stared at her. "Of course not. But Sam - that is your name, right - I saw it in your phone." She nodded after she recovered from the jerk at her name. "Sam, the fact that you let me do that. When you knew you didn't have to. It tells me that you're reaching out for help. That you want out. So let m…"

"Fuck off ok! I'm just getting help and I'm being fixed. I need it. I can't be alone again," she yelled at him. "So leave me the hell alone!"

Jake remained quiet, seemingly defeated. Instead he reached into his pocket and handed her two small piece of paper. Sam glanced at the top one, seeing that it was his business card. Beneath, her prescription. He walked to the door. "Sam… I'm, really sorry that you feel like that. Please, think about what I've said. Take a few minutes before you leave if you need."

He closed the door behind him, leaving Sam to herself. Before she could stop it, giant heaving sobs took over, causing sharp pain for her ribs. The doc had taped her up somewhat, but it still hurt like a bitch. 20 seconds later and it was over, Sam had regained control. That was another thing Devon had helped her with. Her control had always been strong, she knew that and Devon had acknowledged that. But he'd made it even better. She grabbed a tissue and wiped her tears and smudged makeup away, grabbing some cover-up from her bag and fixing her face. She walked out the room, and she could feel Jake's eyes burning into her as she left, but she never spared him a glance.


"Honey, you're home! Where did you go?" asked Devon cheerfully as she walked in. Sam shut the door and turned to him, wondering what he was going for here. "I had to go to the clinic Devon. For birth control pills. They noticed a few things but it's ok, I just fell after all," she said.

"Yes, and a terrible fall it was. No problems though?" he asked, smiling still, and Sam realized that maybe there was no act here.

She smiled at him and sauntered over. "Of course not. The doc was worried about my ribs, said if I fell like that again I'd break em and then there could be serious problems, involving a hospital stay. Same with my stomach, he was a little worried about internal bleeding. But in a week I'll be back to good."

"Well that's too bad. Guess we'll put our lessons on hold for a bit. But still, glad everything's alright." He pecked her on the lips. "So babe, what you want to do today?"

"Whatever you want," she replied automatically.

Devon smirked. "Well what I want is for you to pick. And I'm serious. You choose. You know how much I love you, I just want to help and make you happy."

Sam felt herself warm. He really did love her, maybe she wasn't completely unworthy. She slithered up to him. "How about we cuddle up and watch a movie. Go from there?"

"Sounds excellent babe. I'll make the popcorn. You pick a movie." Devon went to the kitchen, leaving Sam to march to their sizeable collection. She wanted to do this right. Devon was being good to her, so she'd pick something he liked. Ah, perfect. Die Hard. He'd love it.

Devon returned, with a bowl of popcorn in hand. "So babe, the verdict?" he asked as he lowered it to the table

"Die Hard!" Sam proclaimed happily. Devon just stood, staring at her, a scowl on his face. "Wha… what?"

"Sam, I said this was your choice. I know you don't like these sorts of movies. Pick something that you'll like," he said coldly.

"But… but I'll like something that makes you happy," Sam replied, wanting to get back to make him happy, to return to the happy mood of before.

He sighed. "Sam, look, pick again. It was sweet of you to try, but seriously."

She turned and picked out 27 dresses, holding it up for Devon. Instantly Devon became happy again. "Perfect! Pop it in and let's cuddle up." Sam obligingly put it in the DVD machine and sat next to Devon, cuddling into him as the movie started.

He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "Love you Sam."

"I love you too," replied Sam softly. "I do."