I woke up all alone. Axel was nowhere to be found so I just laid in his bed thinking about his jealousy the day before. It felt nice having someone like him care about me so much. I wanted him to care about me forever. Sadly… I know he was just upset because someone kissed his Roxas. I glanced over at his walls and nodded.
Although he had burned his room… pictures of Roxas were all over the walls. There was one picture of me and him… but it also had Roxas who was between us. I gripped the ashy sheets and clung onto them. I didn't want to be alone as these thoughts fill me whole.
Maybe his devotion isn't to me. My hypocrisy will be the death of me. With Axel not here to hold me tight in his arms and my friends gone and not able to comfort me… I really do feel all alone. I wonder what will happen to me. Will I fall into his soft green eyes knowing that he sees me as someone else? Am I really that strong?
I have to be. This is our bond. Axel and my bond is Roxas. That is all that we have together and that's all there will be, but I'm not sure if I'm strong enough for that. Roxas was strong, so I should be able to be strong as well to prove my worth to Axel. Their bond together… it was unbreakable… mine just has to be close or at least part way.
I walked into the bathroom and got into the shower. I let the water hit me as hot as it could. Hissing, in pain I forced myself to stay. Maybe I can get used to the pain sometime or perhaps it will always burn. Fire destroys and laughs at the remains. I began to get used to the heat but I would still whimper at the sudden pain it would bring back. I still refused to get out though.
Hopefully… In the end… the pain will become something I hardly notice anymore. I need to get over it. A sick twisted throb filled my stomach. I wanted to puke but instead I just turned away. Perhaps it will end the same way for me as it did Roxas. I'll just die knowing that I won even though the boy Axel loves is within me.
I got him! No one can deny that fact. He got jealous when someone kissed me! The man eats ice cream with me, and he sleeps beside me even though he could easily send me away! I've won… even if Axel thinks of me as Roxas. I watched him come into the bathroom and walk in with me. His eyes stared at my body hungrily. I didn't say a word but let him have his way.
He's the man I love and I can't let him be unhappy, even if this isn't what I want. I wouldn't mind having sex only once a year if he would just hold my hand and smile at me every day in between. That would be my idea of perfection. That would be my heaven. Sad to say, that's impossible.
Axel probably never held Roxas's hand, or smiled at him all the time. He could have just had sex with him every night and talked to him every day. That could have been their life. If it is… then perhaps I'm just a hopeless romantic stuck in a hopeless relationship. But I want him. Holy crap, how much I want him.
If I was the one that made destiny… and wrote the romance tales of all the people out there, then I guess I would make this a tragedy. I'm being selfish. Beyond selfish. I have what I deserve; an unrequited love shall be mine. Nothing in the world can save me from that, and I'm too stubborn to leave. I gasped out as he entered me and then clung to his hair with my lips against his chest. I need this man.
Without him… then I'm just a keyblade wielder and someone who's lost to love.
Axel left soon after and I knew he was getting ready for another day. I don't need to do anything with my life, as a hero I've always gotten a free ride that I've never really abused but is it really okay for me to do that here? I quickly decided that it must be since my boyfriend lives here and all. When I got out of the shower and had a towel on I got to see just how much cleaning got done in that short amount of time.
Everything that was burnt, and all the ash was simply gone as though it had never been there in the first place. Instantly my mind wandered to where Axel is right now. I guess the best way to describe the way we are together… he's my sickness. Whenever I'm around him the fever starts and I get dizzy. I just want to be with him forever, it's a sickness I'm addicted to.
And a sickness I never really wanted.
Heading over to where the chef is I ordered some breakfast and waited at the counter. Suddenly Axel was right behind me with his arms around my waist and lips at my ear. "I wonder how good you would look in a maid outfit… all slutty looking and needy with that dust cleaner in your hand… All that lace and the net stockings…"
I shoved him away and blushed scarlet trying to get the image of myself under his fingers that were overcome with lust… man what would he do with the dust cleaner? Burn it then have that with us while we- ah no. I'm not thinking anymore on this subject.
"You're disgusting." I growled and tried to ignore the warm feeling inside. He thought about my body in that outfit. He wants me. Isn't that fucking awesome? Axel seemed to sense my good mood and kissed down my neck with me closer than before. I looked up at him and smiled knowing that I'm loving this. Who fucking cares about Roxas anyhow? He's dead and I'm still alive.
"But I'm your Disgusting." I stared him down not even cracking a smile at his lame joke. Axel sighed then let me go so I could turn and look at him. Somehow he seems a bit nervous right now, instantly I got my food and sat down ready to eat. Sitting next to me he looked down at my food with a bored expression.
"No you cannot burn my food for fun." I said before he could even ask. I've been missing my lighter recently and I'm pretty sure I know who has it. "The room will probably be finished by the end of the day." I said slowly and watched as the rage came back into his eyes. Somehow it reminded me of the fire that completely destroyed his room.
"Why did you let him put his hands all over you?" He demanded letting me see that the fire hadn't died all this time, we'd only been fooling ourselves. Or maybe I was the only one fooled.
"I didn't let him!" I cried back not wanting to argue with him but I want Axel to see the point and understand. This didn't seem to work out since he started yelling again only this time he thrust me up from my chair.
"You always push me away when I touch you, why didn't you do the same to him?" He shouted making me look at him with hurt eyes. He knows that isn't true, for the past few days I have let him touch me and do whatever he wants, why the hell would he bring up the past like it was fucking last night?
"You know that hasn't been the case recently." I growled and then sat back down and forced myself to eat knowing it won't do anything for me since my body doesn't feel like eating right now. It wants me to fight and hurt and then maybe hold back a few tears since I've cried too much. Axel's eyes were calming down when he noticed the way my lips were pressed and my eyes almost at his just at the forehead that way the intensity won't kill me.
"It just pissed me off, I'm sorry." He muttered and covered his face with a hand then turned around and ordered some food along with a beer, I think the beer will help too. Somehow I think today is turning into an uneventful one even though a shitload has happened. Oddly enough no one seems to care that their enemy is here, it's either that or no one has reported it.
I'm willing to bet on the latter.
I'll kill Xemnas, and any other Nobody that gets in my way of keeping Axel. It's as simple and as heartless as that, but I'm not sure if many people in town believe me. Why should I care about that anyway? My eyes softened a bit when I saw how he seemed to sag his shoulders and he seemed pretty depressed. We've been moving fast but we've being moving during almost a twenty four hours a day thing. Many couples I know only see each other for a couple hours a day at most.
Does this make us… something to be proud about for the progress or no? Axel turned around and flashed me a smile then made a provocative gesture. I glared and looked down but I knew my face was turning red with happiness. He makes me happy, and already it seems like he's noticing Sora. I should be the happiest guy alive right now.
"So I was thinking about today… do you want to just hang out in bed all day?" Axel sighed looking a little worn around the edges. I nodded eagerly then thought about what I'm supposed to be doing, as a hero and all. I should probably be ditching this world for a bit looking for heartless and helping people.
"Sure." I said knowing he already took the nod as a yes. I'm just eager to do something I haven't done in a while. The chef glanced over at us making me cover my mouth. He still has a black eye from before, and sadly it's hard not to laugh at it since now he's finally gotten some color on his pale face.
"Then hurry up, you're acting like a girl. Eat like a man, Sora." Axel snickered. I glared at him and tried not to hit him like I know my fist really wants to do. Of course I could always just summon my keyblade and have a fight with him right now, then again that doesn't seem fair.
I hurried up and ate the rest of my food before hurrying to the room. "Did you know we've met before?" Axel asked softly taking hold of my hand. I looked at him skeptically then watched him laugh. "No it wasn't here in this town and at that time I wasn't with Roxas. We met in a place where you lost all your memories. It's called Castle Oblivion." He explained.
"Tell me." I whispered and had us both crawl into bed. Axel looked surprisingly serious but also happy as he turned to me.
"You were just the keyblade master, and we already had one of those. Somehow I wound up getting interested in you and didn't want you to lose all your memories. I helped you understand what to do, cleaned up the mess, and then you hit me when I tried to flirt with you." Axel said with a laugh. I looked at him with wide but stunned eyes.
"Wow… I can't believe how smart I was." I commented making him pull me under the covers and show me just how much I'd regret that decision.
