A/N: Another hypothetical St. Berry situation, this time a little more, well, intimate. It's based heavily around a song called Touch Me from (you guessed it) Spring Awakening. And I know, I know, the whole St. Berry saga combined with SA is totally overdone but I hope this is a little bit different. Anyway, after seeing Lea Michele's version of this on YT, I fell in love with the song even more and this here idea was born. (It may have also transpired after a dream I may or may not have had about a drunken Lea singing a few of these lyrics to Jon Groff. You know you obsess far too much when your favourite people are found in your dreams as well as your waking state. I need help, I'm sure.) But if you haven't heard her version of this song, what the hell are you waiting for? It is simply astoundingly beautiful and I dare you to dislike it.
Anyway, I hope it's not too, too clichéd and that some aspect of enjoyment can be obtained from this! As it's hypothetical, I'm not going to work in (boring) details over where in the time arc this happens and all that jazz, but for a general note this happens somewhere before the 'Run, Joey, Run' incident but after everything in the Power of Madonna ep. There are lyrics of the song draped throughout, in like little fragments and it's not quoted word for word or in the right order so to speak. Like I said, it's hypothetical, a bit of fun (I hope!) and as always, read, review and enjoy!
What if Rachel went all the way?
"Touch me," he tells her softly, bringing both her hands to cup his face. She obliges, quietly, and as their faces hover mere centimetres away, Rachel's no longer in control of the fuzz in her stomach or the blush on her cheeks. "Just try it."
If he thinks singing to her will calm her neurosis, he has another thing coming. She hesitates, worried he's mocking her with his singing (and is, Jesse quickly discovers, not too accustomed to one of his favourite musicals. But then with her two fathers, he's hardly surprised.) The moment's almost lost as a result and she's got that nervous look in her eye that always unpins her mature exterior. But Jesse, determined to keep the moment alive, decides to take matters into his own hands and slowly lowers his face to meet hers. He watches her eyes, determined not to close his and sink into the kiss until she closes hers, because then he'll know she's okay with this. Eventually, just before their lips merge her long eyelashes flutter shut and he joins her in the darkness as he feels the softness of her lips brush over the dryness on his. Their usual kisses are quick and jittery, usually because Jesse insists on kissing in public (he's a performer, always has been) but now they're in her room, alone, and it's a different story. This is slower and longer and borderline agony for Jesse, who's not used to such a (slow and unhurried) pace. But for Rachel, it's new, it's untouched and though she knows Jesse's guiding her through, she still feels like she's running blind.
He eventually pulls away and her eyes remain shut for a moment after, half through pleasure, half through embarrassment, because she doesn't want to see his face and let him know what effect he's having on her.
"Now that's," he kisses her gently on the tip of her nose, "heaven." She blushes, because a compliment from Jesse is something to behold highly and though she'd protest and say she'd rather he complimented her talent for singing, she's can't lie to herself and say she doesn't like him complimenting this side to her too. Because she is, whatever way you dress it up, new at this and Jesse most definitely isn't. So she'll take the compliment and run because she's sure she won't be getting any from anyone else anytime soon.
"Now that I like," he breathes out the words to the song she doesn't recognise and it's softer this time, until she stops him with another kiss; a kiss deep enough to knock the wind from within his sails. It seems his protégé is something of a quick learner. "God," he breathes as she moves her hands down to linger on his neck, and even though she's applying no pressure, he still feels like he's being choked. That's so nice, he thinks in his head because she's not releasing his mouth long enough to even finish the line. But he won't complain: this isn't a performance of the vocal nature and he can cope with a few breathy passages if this is the compensation.
"Like that?" she asks, pulling away, because she's not sure she's meant to kiss him this way. She blushes again just by asking and Jesse's sure that he could not possibly love someone more than how much he loves Rachel right now. The fact that she's sounding so vulnerable just proves to him that she hasn't got a clue over how he really feels about her. Because if she did, she wouldn't need to feel nervous. At all.
"Just like that," he breathes as she kisses him again, only not on the lips. Her own lips have selected the spot beneath the top of his neck and the base of his jaw, and he swears she's going to make his pulse erupt if she doesn't stop. "And that," he adds, as she releases his neck.
She swallows slowly because she's never seen Jesse this flustered and nor has she felt this flustered herself. His eyes are clamped shut but rather than try and get his attention, Rachel decides to up the ante and reapplies her lips to his.
"Oh, yeah," he breathes and he can't avoid the feeling of her smiling delightedly against his lips. "This is – now that's Heaven."
"You should really stop with the religious vocabulary, Jesse." He doesn't know how she can be so serious and so collected when she's managing to slowly drive him insane. "People might start to believe you're –
"An angel?" He substitutes, letting his eyebrows dance suggestively. Rachel giggles but she's soon silenced as he swoops down (a little too fast) and captures her lips again. Only this time, she's caught unaware and tipples backwards on the bed, Jesse landing mostly atop of her, never breaking contact. One of his hands is caught under her neck; the other gently brushes the hair from her face before moving slowly down to the base of her jumper and sliding onto a piece of her smooth, untouched skin. She gasps and tries to suck her stomach in so he can't reach it, but he persists and as her eyes drift upwards, he performs little circles with his thumb over her stomach.
She doesn't know when she agreed to it but he's gradually lifting her top over her head and he's letting her watch as he pulls of his t-shirt too. He sees her visibly tense a little and swallow twice, so he takes her hands and places them on either of his shoulders. He waits, as she becomes accustomed to the feel of skin – his skin – beneath her fingers, and then speaks, trying to tell her one hundred and one things with one simple look. You're doing fine. You're safe with me. I love you.
"Now lower down," he whispers instead, placing his hands on top of hers and taking them on a slow path down the front of his chest, pausing every now and then. Her eyes follow their hands because she really can't face to catch his eyes and she inadvertently inhales when he looks like he's not going to make their hands stop and they come a little too close to the top of his jeans. She pulls her hands away from his under his quickly and though he doesn't let on, he's a little disappointed.
"Jesse, I – " She looks like she could cry at any moment and Jesse doesn't want to patronise her, but she's never looked more adorable. "I can't – can we just – "
He nods because he knows how much she wants this (because he wants it ten times more) but he's not going to be the one who pushes her. He rolls beside her and their faces meet on her pillow. He guesses she's comfortable enough to remain in her bra and so drapes an arm over her hip and pulls her closer to him, letting her legs slide in between his. They're entangled in a way that it's difficult to see where Jesse ends and Rachel begins, but it's the closest she's ever felt to someone and though she's feeling terribly self-conscious, Rachel finds the way Jesse thrums on her bare rib cage oddly comforting. He kisses her between her eyebrows and then settles himself and closes his eyes. Rachel watches him for a moment before following suit and letting hers shut to a gentle state of closed.
They fall to sleep several minutes, maybe an hour later and wake up in the morning to find they've hardly moved in the night and his hand is still holding onto her side, like he's scared that if he lets go, he'll lose this wonder he's somehow managed to discover.
And whilst Jesse's a little disappointed his efforts didn't quite ascertain the outcome he wanted (their first time tied together with the glorious vocals of 'Touch Me' would have been one for the ages) he's content to know that when she decides she is ready to go all the way, she'll be happy to do it with him.
