PART 1


In a underground deep into the earth, an enderman was sitting on a floor with her head bowed. A lava-fall from many blocks high were drifting into the lava-pool, which was slowly expanding. Ores decorated among the walls, untouched for many years except for the bats. The huge cave was a home for bats; they flew in and out chaotically and stirred up the dust. Their screeching were keeping the Ender up, her closed eyelids twitching.

Her name was Elanie, one of Queen's Drelizabeth last living heirs.

A bat darted too close for her, startling her awake. "Gah!" she yelled as the bat's wings slapped her face.

The brown bat screeched in alarm and took off to the sky.

"Dumb bats," the enderman grumbled, rubbing her green eyes. "They won't even let me take a good nap without being a nuisance."

The enderman rose to her feet, using the wall for support. Elanie swatted a few careless bats away as she walked down the cavern, taking caution when she had to bypass the pool of lava.

Once Elanie had left the cavern, she began to pause as she turned every corner, listening for any warning signs. She've already been chased so many times that day, the endermen had barking her name while she slipped into the shadows. For the last few hours it had been a relief to just sit there. Except the bats were annoying but at least she could save a bit of food she had left instead of running all over the place.

After navigating through the twists of the tunnels and a few occasional teleports through the walls, she had finally arrived to the surface. She squinted against the glare of the sunset.

"And another night begins," Elanie yawned.

She began to walk, but then paused. Elanie looked behind her, towards the direction of Alex's base that she had stumbled across the previous night. Somehow, her feet kept leading her back to the player's home, like something was calling her name. But what…?

Elanie shook her head and muttered: "I need more sleep."

One moment, Elanie was following the drowning sun. The next, she was heading towards Alex's base, which was an one-eighty degree turn. Elanie halted, confusion written all over her face.

"Look, feet!" Elanie yelled, waving her arms. "I don't want to get murdered by a player! Let me walk away from the danger? Ok? We good? Yes? Good."

And back to the sunset she went. Except… the sun was already gone. How unfortunate.

Elanie hissed, tugging her face downwards. "Look at you, feet! You've made me lost my directions!" After a moment of awkward silence, she burst into laughter. "And now I'm talking to myself again, huh? Sheesh, isolation really gets you crazy… No wonder so many monsters in the caves lose it."

Elanie turned to study her own shadow. "So… if the sun sets in the west, and the sun casts the lights from the west because it's setting; thereof I'm looking at the east… Yeah. So I just need to go the other way!"

While Elanie walked away from the moon, the monsters began to emerge from their hiding spots. They ignored Elanie since she kept her head low and avoided making eye contacts. She didn't need more curious monsters pointing out that her eyes were green instead of the usual Ender purple. Green like Alex's.

Elanie stopped in front of a lone dandelion which had interrupted the greens of the grass. She stared at it, and then at the other flowers which were farther away and shivering under her presence. However, the dandelion stood bold, challenging Elanie to step on it.

"Huh," she mused. The enderman knelt to touch the petals. "You kinda remind me of someone…"

Elanie plucked the flower and then returned to her full height. "Yeah! You remind me of Endocrine. She's just not as yellow as you."

A different enderman teleported into the plains, and then let out a big sigh of relief as he saw Elanie. "Princess!" Azza called out.

Elanie flinched, taking a few steps back. "Uh! Bye bye!"

"No!" Azza screeched, "Wait!"

But it was too late, since Elanie had slipped through his grasps. Azza groaned in exasperation, and then he barked an order towards the endermite, which had followed Azza. The endermite disappeared to carry the news where Elanie had last been sighted.

Azza glanced at the limp dandelion. He walked over, then crouched; fingering the stem before picking it up. He studied the flower for a few moments before rising back to full height. "Hey! You forgot your flower!"

He waited, holding the flower out. Elanie should appear any seconds now, since endermen can't resist the temptation to snatch their items back…

Elanie materialized, reaching for the dandelion. Azza held it high above her reach, taunting her as she tiptoed for the flower.

"Ah ah ah!" he chided, "You have to listen to me first before you can get your flower back, Princess Elanie."

"Why not the other way?" Elanie pouted, still attempting to snatch the yellow flower.

"Because I've already fell for your damn trick!" Azza scowled, slightly pushing Elanie as she nearly touched the dandelion. "I let you run off with a chorus fruit! Remember?"

"Well, forgive me for not wanting to die," she huffed.

"For the last time," he growled, "I am not here to kill you!"

Elanie eyed him skeptically. "Liar. Anyways, now that we've talked…" she leaned towards him flirtingly. "Can I have my flower back?"

He smirked. "Nope."

Elanie's face fell.

He waved for her attention. "Listen to me, you're one of the last princesses alive, Elanie."

Her face scrunched. "Are you here to kill me off? 'Cause I'm pretty sure 'one' isn't the same definition as 'last'… wait, who's still alive?"

He bit his lips. "Uh… sorry, wrong wording. Yes, you are the last last."

"Ok, now I'm certain that you are lying." She turned her back against him. "Who's still alive? Denna? Tosha? Qwen? Or maybe… Endocrine?" She shifted towards him hopefully.

He looked away, chewing on his bottom lip. "Erm… We believe that they all may be dead… leaving you to be the last."

Ouch.

"Am I really the last?" Elanie prodded.

He hestinated. Then he held the flower to her. "Yes."

Elanie looked like a baby villager who had been refused cake. She took the dandelion. "Oh."

"I'm sorry," he bowed.

Elanie looked into the distance, clutching the wilting flower. She took several deep breaths. "Darn, I hoped Endocrine was still alive somehow…" She looked towards Azza. "So, are you going to take me home? I'm kinda hungry…"

Azza took out several chorus fruit and then handed it to her. "Erm, about that… did you know Alex had killed –long live Queen Dreliazbeth!"

"Oh. I was assuming that you meant mot-long live Queen Drelizabeth! -Had died of old age when you said I was one of the last heirs." Elanie twirled the flower sheepishly.

"Nope. Plus, Alex took the egg with her."

Elanie let out a laugh. "Oh, oh! That explains why I keep heading towards Alex's base! The egg was calling for me! Man, that solved a lot of things."

The dragon's egg came with an extra defense in case if it would had been stolen or lost. The end princess were born with a natural instinct to go retrieve the egg so the future generations of Endermen were saved from endless cloning. The Enders didn't really enjoy the idea of cloning, because the history books had shown each time the endermen cloned, the copy were never as smart as the first. And then as it continued, each copy became dumber and dumber. Especially if they didn't have a dragon to keep their intelligence in check (so they don't go jumping off cliffs or something like that). The Enders weren't big on chaos, such as a large zombie party, so the dragon felt contented about ordering them around. And it kept the endermen happy.

"Well, at least your mystery's solved." Azza gave her a half smile.

"What I don't get is, if you've been searching for me..." Elanie folded her arms. "Then why the heck the End Army didn't go fight Alex? I imagine with fifty endermen or more, she'd be dead in a second. And then your egg problem's solved."

Azza didn't bother do anything but to give her another smile. Because, after all, the End Army was busy chasing down Endocrine. Plus, Elanie seemed to have forgotten that Alex would carry a bucket of water around with her as an extra measure. Fifty enderman can't even stand against a bucket of water. One could say that water, in a way, was chaotic. And endermen never liked chaos.

Plus, some of the endermen back home wanted to give Elanie a challenge to go retrieve the egg. It is a necessary to bring it back, and there had to be a reason why she survived for so long. He didn't want to drive Elanie away again either, so it wasn't worth a fight.

"So... can you come with me to get the egg? I'd feel better if I had an extra eye on Alex." Elanie asked, taking a bite of her fruit.

Azza bowed. "At your service."

Together, they headed east, walking in silence. The wind brushed against the grass, hushing the earth to sleep. They quietly followed the zombies who were after the player's brain. The endermen, not wanting to gain any attention, occasionally teleported when a monster turned to look at them. But once they had reached the land that were marked with torches, Alex was out and roaming. And killing.

The zombies shuffled towards the player, whining for her brain. Alex smirked as she knocked one back with her shield and then butchered the rest down.

"We need to go around Alex," Azza murmured, his body tense. Elanie nodded.

But then Alex spotted them. Elanie swiftly looked away before Alex could notice her unique eye colour. Azza cursed as the player gained interest onto the two endermen.

Alex consumed her steak, restoring her health back to full. Then she stalked her way towards them.

"Go," Azza growled, avoiding Alex's eye contact. Making eye contact with the player would latch the enderman onto a fight to the death. "Teleport now."

"If we leave, she'll just find us anyways," Elanie hissed.

"I know." Azza clenched his jaws, looking around at his surroundings. "I'm giving you a chance to run away."

"I thought we could handle it? You and me against her? I think we can be pretty terrifying if we work together," Elanie said drily.

"Not in the open!" he argued. "We won't make it because we wouldn't have the element of surprise on our side! Now go!"

"No." she stared into his face.

"Quit being unselfish," Azza stared back. "The Enders needs you alive. They don't need me more anymore than they need you. This is a small role of ours, following the order of society. We're easily disposable while you princesses aren't."

Elanie pursed her lips, finally getting to his point. He was going to hold Alex off to give Elanie another day, another chance to get the egg. For now, she needed to get out of Alex's reach.

Elanie prepared to teleport when Azza added: "If you see General Dryan… tell him I said I'll miss home, but I'm happy."

"General?" Elanie raised an eyebrow. But she never had received answer because Alex finally made eye contacts with Azza. He began to shake, unnaturally growling as he lunged towards the player. Alex grinned, side-stepping as he missed.

Elanie heard him roar out "For Queen Drelizabeth and Elanie!" as she teleported away.

He died alone.

Elanie popped next to a tree a few hundred blocks away, panting from the mental strain of moving in such a huge distance. She looked at the flower in her clutching hand. She let out a shaky sob, squeezing her eyes shut before she could cry. She brought the dandelion to her forehead. "Herobrine, if you're real and listening… please bring Endocrine back to me. Please, we made a promise…"


A white and immovable glowing dot.

A metallic taste.

Lots of annoying noises.

Pain's everywhere, like Endocrine was dunking in and out of a lake. Over. And over. And over…

"When do tu think she'll wake?" she heard a familiar voice squeak out.

Z? Don't tell me you've died too. Noooooooooooooooooooooo, don't tell me I have to spend an eternity with an idiot!

"Wale, considering that she hannit burst into codes yet, soon." A skeleton clattered.

Wait, what? Should I already be resting in pieces?

"Is it me or did she just twitch?" Endocrine heard G.P. ask… someone.

"That's a good sign." An unfamiliar voice replied. Footsteps fading away.

Endocrine cracked her eye open, feeling like she had taken a nap after a sugar rush and ran through a bonfire. A skeleton, creeper, and zombie against a starry background were peering down at her. She flinched, startled by the amount of eyes staring intensely at her face.

Idiocy overload! Abort! Abort! Endocrine scrambled away, her muscles and skin aching with every movement.

"Good evening, sleeping beauty!" Z chirruped, laughing in relief as Endocrine looked at them in bewilderment.

"Praise da stars! Our souls' saved!" Boun sighed.

Huh?

"Out of the way! Out of the way!" the unfamiliar voice returned. A witch hobbled into sight, shooing the monsters as he stepped towards the enderman. Once he was close enough, he poked Endocrine, and in return she smacked his hand away. That burns!

He huffed, rubbing his wrists. "Sheesh, you endermen take everything personally."

"They sure do," Z grumbled under his breath, folding his arms.

"You're lucky that my health potions didn't kill you, considering that water kills endermen," the witch hummed, poking Endocrine's skin. She hit his hand again.

Stop that! She gestured to the witch. However, he didn't, so the poking and slapping intensified as they battled against each other. Poke. Slap. Poke. Slap. Nearly touching- nope, another smack from a glowering Endocrine.

"Wale, at least she's doing wale." Boun smirked.

"Hey, Mr. Witch, what are you doing?" G.P. crooked her head.

"Testing for nerve damage from water," the witch replied, breathless. "Ow! That's enough!"

Then stop touching me, you idiot! Endocrine scowled as she folded her arms. Her skin felt like she had stepped into a lava pool. Except for the large area under her eyepatch, which had already been numbed from when she was exiled.

"At least she's alive, and the End Army won't murder us once they've found out that we've nearly killed her," Z looked at Boun.

Boun shrugged, his shoulder bones clicking. "Or she's da wrong princess, and we're dead anyways."

You should've let me die, Endocrine grumbled inside her brain. The End doesn't want me and I don't want to become a stupid dragon either. Endocrine's eye flickered to the witch. And my skin burns thanks to your stupid potions.

"With that expression, it looks like you're da one they want," Boun mused.

"Of course she's the one they want," the witch had pulled out a book and he was currently writing in it. "They say she's the closest in personality to the late Dragon Queen. Quite powerful, too. Now if I could just remember your name… Why are there so many princesses...?"

Endocrine rolled her eyes. Why does no one remember my name? I should start running around with a nametag over my head that screams "Hey, I'm Endocrine! Leave me alone, you idiots!"

"We call her Princess," Z offered.

The witch put his book away. "Well, whatever. I'm going to have to give you one more potion, Princess."

Fear pulsated through Endocrine's veins. Potions contained water, and water seriously hurts. Endocrine attempted to stand up, but then her legs had forgotten how to function. Right before the witch was about to use the potion on her, she managed to disappear. The witch looked around, spotting Endocrine a few blocks away.

"Princess," the witch growled.

Idiot, Endocrine sneered, attempting once again to stand.

"Hold still so I don't miss and melt away the remaining skin," he threatened.

Nope, nope, nope.

The enderman led the witch into a small chase around the swamp. Once he had gotten close enough, Endocrine would disappear. Once in a while, Endocrine would appear standing but then just fall to the ground. How infuriating.

Endocrine eventually stopped the chicken chase so she could glance upon a broken swamp area. The destruction from the creepers were filled with rushing water and an occasional floating tree. One of the trees had a little dirt-stairs leading down to the earth. A few monsters were working together, filling the craters with dirt. Endocrine gawked at the destruction as she sat on the blue-green grass. Tell me how did I survive this again?

While Endocrine was distracted by the ruins, the witch finally and successfully poured the health potion onto Endocrine. Her brain began to scream and her vision blurred as she twisted in pain. The witch clutched her to still her twitching body, and then rubbed the running liquid off her skin with his sleeve.

"Aaaand that's the last of it." The witch stumbled back as Endocrine accidentally punched him.

"There you guys- is she ok?" Z ran up to them, watching the enderman suffering.

"Of course she is," the witch huffed. "I just wish that someone have the brains to create an no-hunger potion, then she'll easily regain her strength since I don't have the food she needs. Now, if you don't mind, I've got to get out of here before someone else decides to get themselves seriously wounded. Good night."

G.P. and Boun joined Z, watching the witch stalk off the scene with his robes flickering in the night wind.

"Bye!" G.P. yelled. "Have a safe journey to your destination!"

Endocrine began to calm down, growing more tired as the seconds passed. Even though she had slept the afternoon or more away, she couldn't tell since she was unconscious.

"Huh, that reminds me," Z frowned. "Have anyone seen the pests? I hadn't seen them since incident."

"The spiders?" Boun snorted. "Nah, I hannit."

"I hope they're dead then," the zombie muttered.

"I think they're over there," G.P. squinted over the messy landscape. "It looks like they're napping, though."

"Or dead," Boun offered. "Da wolf-slime's definitely dead, since a flying creeper killed it. Good riddance, we don't need anymore deaths today."

Endocrine looked over the creeper craters. Aside from the silhouettes of a few monsters, she could see the bodies of two spiders slightly rising and falling. They were most likely the spiders that had struck with Endocrine for the past few days. She dragged a hand down her face as she realized that she hadn't named them yet. But was it really necessary? Endocrine couldn't speak, so the spiders will never know their names unless someone else told them.

"I'mma go help those monsters pull this place back together again. This swamp is my home after all, and they will need someone to tend after the trees," Boun yawned. "You guys should probably leave soon. I won't be surprised if the creepers returned and finish ya off if they saw ya."

"Good point," Zoan agreed. "Will I see tu soon?"

"Eh, don't count on it. A lot of monsters probably don't want ya to return to their events because of the mess your princess left behind. So, see ya." Boun left, waving as he stepped carefully down the hill of the destruction.

G.P. and Z watched the skeleton leave before returning their attention back to the enderman's. Endocrine was sitting on the grass patiently, her eye growing heavy as she listened to the night's harmony. Once she had caught the zombie and creeper looking at her, she crossed her arms. What?

Z gave her an timid smile. "Ready to go?"

Endocrine rolled her eyes. If I could get up. Wait, maybe I can...

Endocrine teleported into a standing position, stumbling as her muscles strained. A few seconds later, she found herself back on the ground, dazed.

G.P. limped over to her. "Do you need help?" Endocrine frowned and shook her head. The creeper hobbled back as Endocrine pushed herself up slowly. Then she wobbled slightly, but balanced herself as she began to ignore the painful pressure on her legs. She didn't turn to look at them as she nodded, signaling that she was ready to go.

It was time to go get the spiders and then head for the Nether portal. There, Endocrine can continue to heal from her near-death experience.


Author's Note: Fun fact: 10,000 TNTs can't kill a group of golem. They weren't even harmed. So, why not let Endocrine follow the same Minecraft logic? Harr harr harr~

(If you're still confused, Chapter 13 should explain more on how she survived. Hang in there!)

And holy cow, March 2nd was the day I created Endocrine. (I started writing McMonsters about a few days before 2016 Easter.)

Endertainment:

What kind of humor does Endermen have?

They have a dry humor!

~Rosie

PS: I reached 7k-8k words and I decided that I needed to cut it off since it was taking way too long to edit. That's why there's 2 parts, it was originally one lonnnnnnnnnnnnng chapter :)

But hey, 8k is a new word count record for me!