Chapter 7: Alliance with the Devil
Disclaimer: I don't own the songs or anything else. the X-Force and S.H.I.E.L.D actually belongs to the creators of Marvel Comics: Fabian Nicieza, Rob Liefeld, Stan Lee (Rest in Peace), and Jack Kirby. The songs shown below belong to the original artists:
"Don't Let Me Down" by Chainsmokers ft. Daya
"Undead" by Hollywood Undead
"Love Me Harder" by Ariana Grande ft The Weekend
"Ddu-Du Ddu-Du!" by Blackpink (sound reference)
"Look What You Made Me Do" by Taylor Swift
"Who Are You" by Fifth Harmony
"One Last Time" by Ariana Grande
Warning: Profanities, Character bashing, and violence!
Tweek (as Heartthrob)'s point of view
Damn Professor Chaos with his code to his lair. Too bad I don't know the code to Professor Chaos's lair. The only person who can crack it is General Disarray who still dazed from my submission maneuver. That means I have to resort to one way. I forgot that I have a piano keyboard with me. I let my fingers do the tuning on the piano keyboard as I open my mouth to sing
I need you, I need you, I need you right now
Yeah, I need you right now
So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down
I think I'm losing my mind now
It's in my head, darling I hope
That you'll be here, when I need you the most
So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down
Don't let me down
Don't let me down
Don't let me down, down, down
Don't let me down, don't let me down, down, down
I need you, I need you, I need you right now
Yeah, I need you right now
So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down
I think I'm losing my mind now
It's in my head, darling I hope
That you'll be here, when I need you the most
So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down
Don't let me down
Don't let me down
Don't let me down, down, down
Don't let me down, don't let me down, down, down
The synthesizing sounds from the piano keyboard and my vocal makes the push button lock fractured and malfunctioned to open the door. I hide behind to take a peek at Professor Chaos's lair. There are three baseball machines and chaos minions. No sign of Professor Chaos. Damn them and him! I guess they can taste the 'Boombox' and another trick up my sleeve! I find a skateboard on my side. It looks not too old. Why someone want to store this good skateboard in this place? I place the 'Boombox' on the skateboard and roll it smoothly toward them. Rock n roll, Chaos Babies!
I'm getting used to this nuisance
And all the thugs who had badmouth this music
It's fucking stupid and foolish of you
To think you can do this
You cowards can't, never will
Don't even try to pursue it
I took the chance, I played the pill
I nearly died for this music
You make me wanna run around
Pulling my guns out and shit
Your tempting me to run my mouth
And call you out on this bitch
What, you can't see the sarcasm in the verses I spit?
What, you think I just got lucky, didn't work for this shit?
Bitch, I've been working at this ever since I was a kid
I've played a million empty shows to only family and friends
What kind of person would diss a girl that deserves to get big?
I'd hate to be that person when my verse comes out their kid's lips
That shit's as worse as it gets, this verse is over, I quit
Signed "Heartthrob" on your ex-boyfriend bruised chest
Coming out at the entrance of Professor Chaos's pair, I blow the bullhorn and sling my electric guitar at the 'Boombox' for a surprise! Boom! Prepare for 'The Smokeshow!' The smoke veils the lair to give me the opportunity to swindle them out of the blue.
Tell me something, I need to know
Then take my breath and never let it go
If you just let me invade your space
I'll take the pleasure, take it with the pain
And if in the moment I bite my lip
Baby, in that moment, you'll know this
Is something bigger than us and beyond bliss
Give me a reason to believe it
'Cause if you want to keep me, you gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
And if you really need me, you gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
(Gotta love me harder)
Love me, love me, love me
Harder, harder, harder
Love me, love me, love me
Harder, harder, harder
'Cause if you want to keep me, you gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
And if you really need me, you gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
(Gotta love me harder)
Love me, love me, love me
Harder, harder, harder
(Love me, love me, baby)
Love me, love me, love me
(Just a little bit harder, harder, babe)
Harder, harder, harder
No one's point of view
Heartthrob's voice sounds so angelic and sultry the Chaos minions find it irresistible to listen. With them being hypnotized by the siren song, Heartthrob boots them in the chests. As a gift, she kisses them on their wrists. She quickly bustles up on the ladder with General Disarray on her back. As she makes it to the rooftop which of course, is embellished in tinfoil, she discovers Mexican chaos minions and truck containing loads of red lava. They are scurrying and carrying around boxes of them and shoveling them into these truck boxes.
"Oh my god..."
Tweek (as Heartthrob)'s point of view
"Oh my god..." Professor Chaos did have the money to afford all of them. The chaos minions, red logos, and trucks. That explains why there are red lavas all over the town! But how did he get the money for them?! Unless the 'big man' who is behind the crimes in this town must've something to do with Professor Chaos!
"Well, well, you actually made it to the end, New Vigilante," I heard Professor Chaos's voice, but I don't see him. Oh god, he is planning something and I had enough of his charades!
"Nice try Professor Chaos, but the game of yours is now over!" I confronted him, "Wherever you are, I got your little partner in crime with me!"
"And now you know that you are too late. All of South Park is about to be covered in lava! Just think about it! Everything will be off-limits! Everyone will have to just stay where they are, forever! The park will be lava! The Dairy Queen will be lava! It'll be absolute Chaos! Ha ha ha ha!"
"Show yourself, chicken shit! You think you tough boy?! You think you know what 'Chaos' is?! I don't fucking think so, mister!"
"Oh, I am much more than a boy now, New Vigilante. I have finally brought enough tin foil to piece together my greatest weapon yet... GREETINGS! I'd like you to meet MECHA MINION CHAOS SUPREME!" I turn around to find Professor Chaos emerging himself in a colossal robot wrapped in tin foil with the chaos minions and dogs! Damn, he has the time and efforts to build this thing four, five, or six times my size!
"Es un trabajo..."
"Oh, hell no! No, no, no, no, no! No fucking way! No, no, no, no, no!" I shouted, shaking my head. This is insane! I went his little obstacles, defeated General Disarray, and I have to defeat his creation named after some food item from fricking Taco Bell! Meanwhile, I have to deal with a new mission at my hands: The 'big man!' It's just fucking great! Tweek, you're going berserk! Get a hold of yourself! No, I am not going to lose to this piece of shitty junk! I am not going to lose to them as well! I feel my fingers smearing my face! I slap myself across my face numerous times!
"Gahhhhh! Ahhhhh!" I drop to my knee and pull my hair out, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
"Ha ha ha! Ah ha ha! Now prepare to meet your end, New Vigilante!" His guffawing is the cherry on top of a sundae. Aka my mind!
"Gahhhhh! Ahhhhh!" I don't care if I echo my scream out to the town and the world, "You bring the crazy in me! You want crazy?! I'll give you crazy! You make me crazy in love to annihilate you!"
~ Heartthrob vs Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme~
"Meet your mecha-supreme doom!"
"Geez, I can give you credit for your 'Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme' and how you drive me nuts. You've gained respect in me!"
"Thanks! Starting mecha-destruction cycle!" He shoots out missiles out of the tinfoil cardboard boxes in the air, "These missiles are gonna look real sweet on our first movie poster!" Oh shit!
"Please! You can do better than this!" I smack-talked him, crossing my arms and rotating my hips to the left. You better show him how you put him in his place! Just like you did it with the Rednecks, his chaos minions, and bad guys on your way!
A ball of lavas flings directedly at my face. Grr! The rednecks and his chaos minions could've to bitch-slap me better than this. "That's right, Chaos! Hit me! Hit me harder, I dare you!"
"Take cover!" I hear the missiles going out at T-minus now! Uh oh! I need to think on my feet! It is impossible to take on this thing as gigantic as a landscaper! Let's wing it for his alliance! I hop on a tin-foil stone or hill and pounce on him to twat him with my electric guitar and cymbal shield.
Bang!
Clang!
"Grr!" Landing myself on the ground, I lash him with the microphone cord countless times similar to what I did to one of the rednecks. Again, I get on the tin-foil stone or hill to execute a flying dropkick on him, "Oh Chaos, I'm calling the shots out in this battle!"
"Hey, fella, let's not get too rough, OK?"
"Nope! Sorry, Bub! I like it rough in here, on the couch, in the club, and anywhere else! Even in bed!"
He immediately shoots lavas at me again out of his junk. Then, he runs me over as he shifts to another side. I guess he's afraid of a challenge, "Want to go down with me, punk?!"
I turn and race towards the Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme or the Taco Bell monster thing. I dodge the ball of lava aimed by Professor Chaos and shoot bullets at him out of my keytar.
Ping!
Bang!
Ratatatat!
Klikt! Pew! Pew! Pew!
"I didn't feel that at all! Ha ha ha ha!" Professor Chaos really pisses me off right now! He thinks Chaos is impervious to anything. Let's see if Chaos is impervious to the 'Boombox'! I crank up the 'Boombox' and throw it at Professor Chaos; I blast a bullet at the 'Boombox' to release a bang at him.
Oh, this provides me a chance to make a move on him by getting on the tin foil stone and lunge at him to smash him with both the electric and bass guitar.
Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun!
Clink!
Dunh Durr!
"Eat bullet, Chaos! Ahhhhhhh!" I was about to shoot him once more, "Oh, come on!"
Click, click! Ugh, I'm running out of ammo. I hide behind the tin foil stone to reload the keytar. But I only have little time to do so. Oh shit! Blam!
"Ahhhh!" I was sent flying back to the ground. Here I am, hanging myself upside down. My feet are in the air and my shoulders are on the ground. Lying face down on the ground, I look up to see my keytar out of reach from me. Bullets are scattered all over the place!
These missiles! Well played, Chaos. Well played, but I'm still here! Chaos, you haven't seen me! You haven't seen me! Tweek, what plan you have in mind?! You'll see! Get ready, Chaos!
I gingerly get up on my knee and then my feet. Pantingly holding myself up with my clenched fist in the air, I smirk at Professor Chaos. Professor Chaos, if there's one thing you're missing, it's called perseverance! Even if I'd been hurt before, I'm still here! I have more fight within me than his Taco Bell machine thing, Chaos minions, General Disarray and you have!
~ Heartthrob's Ultimate Attack/Power ~
No one's point of view
"Ahhhh!" she charges at Professor Chaos to scatter turned-on microphones at him. Tuning and launching 'Boombox' at Professor Chaos, she goes around to perform her bass guitar solo (loud hard rock). While playing, she opens her mouth to scream as loud as she can to cause the microphones and the 'Boombox' to erupt on the Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme! The sonic explosion causes the Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme to be blown away backward.
As the Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme is zapping straight off from the battlefield, Heartthrob is gliding towards the Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme. Here she is, bashing on the Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme with her bass and electric guitars.
"The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama
But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma
And then the world moves on, but one thing's for sure (sure)
Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours," she sings along the lyrics before finishing him off with a superkick and hard punch using her cymbal shield.
Bang!
Boom!
Wham!
Pow!
Clang!
Boot!
Bam!
Proceeding to race close to him, she comes up behind him to catch him by the neck. She stares at him to visualize the people she's surrounded by. Mr. Garrison/President, Members of the Coon and Friends and the Freedom Pals, rednecks, Chaos kids, General Disarray, and other people who'd wronged Tweek and Heartthrob. They're later being submerged in fires, lightning, and storms.
'I'm sorry, Wonder Tweek can't come to the phone right now. Why?! Oh, because he is DEAD!' she mentally tumultuously blasted, 'It's payback time!
"I'm the diabolical, vindictive bitch in your worst nightmare!" she growls at the Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme to lash out on the giant machine/monster in a vengeful, demonic voice, "Look what you made me do! Now, this is my battle, bitch! My battle!"
She zooms back to the battlefield where she releases the microphones and an amplifier to the ground. In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... she braces herself for a deafening thunder on the Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme.
Boosh!
Whoosh!
Whizz!
Buzz!
Hiss!
Tweek (as Heartthrob)'s point of view
I land myself hard on the ground from the intonation. My head hurts from both the explosion and something else. Maybe I did go overboard on that 'Ultimate Move' I had planned. Getting up, I can see the components of Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme or the Taco Bell monster thing littered on the ground which I can assume it's from the explosion.
"Tiene que enviar mi cheque!" is all I heard from one of the minions as they're bailing out of here.
"Oh, no, come back, minions!"
Should I be triumphant for destroying the Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme or the Taco Bell monster thing? Yes! Yes, I am. In fact, I let out a merciless laugh at Professor Chaos
"Come on, Professor Chaos! Come on!" I screamed him out, "Ha! You think you're tough and shit, but obviously you're a joke! It'll be less embarrassing if you quit right now!"
My victory party is not over yet because the Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme is now becoming a rather average sized version of it. Oh god, I can't believe that bastard! Motherfucker!
"Vamos!" Minions in medic costumes are climbing down the ladder and appear in the battlefield. Sneaky little motherfucker!
"Grr! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
"Well, ok, New Vigilante, that was a minor setback, but Chaos can't be stopped so easily. Initiate phase two!" he has the fucking nerve! Son of a bitch!
"Ahhhhhhhhh! Fuck you, Professor Chaos! Piece of shit!" My strategy on this battlefield is to get rid of these medic minions. There is no fucking way that Professor Chaos can beat me at his game! Especially with his four medic minions! They're going to gang up on me by healing him!
"Chaos Fist!" I fall back after an impact from the average Taco Bell machine/monster thing, "Supreme Chaos, extra spicy!" Oh, he wants extra spicy! I'm going to give him extra spicy!
No one's point of view
She charges at the medic minions at what place she tosses a microphone and tackle at the first one down. Rolling herself out in a ball, she goes toward the second to deliver a surprise kick up in his face and did a sweep-kick on him to make him fall on the ground. Jumping up on the ground with flexibility, she darts at the third one for the boxing punch combos and a double knee attack.
'One more to go!' she narrows her eyes at the last remaining one, 'Time for my finisher!'
She comes at the last medic minions to serve him a forearm slam and do a running bulldog on him. Oh god, what she's doing here?! She is carrying him fireman style!
'Again, you're crazy! What if my back breaks?! What about my shoulders?! My neck?!' Tweek panics in "Heartthrob's" mind.
'Don't worry, Tweek. I have an idea! Brace yourself!'
Oh god! Oh god! She gallops to step up on the tinfoil stone and take a dive with the medic minion! In mid-air, she flips the medic minion to hit the ground!
Slam!
"Goodnight, Minions!" she stands up after the dive, facing the medium-sized machine/ monster thing, "Let's see what you can do without your little helpers!"
Tweek (as Heartthrob)'s point of view
I swirl around in a circle, shaking my ass off. Oh yeah! I did it with a smile on my face. For the cherry on top, I flip my hair around like I'm in a Beyoncé concert. I'm so bootylicious, I'm proud of it, and I don't fucking care if people can take it or not.
'Craig, you made a huge mistake for dumping me. You thought I can't live without you by my side, but I'm better on my own without you now,' I retorted to them as a reminder, 'And Coon, keep mouthing all your bullshits off whatever you want! I hope you'll be successful at first, but not anymore without Wonder Tweek, Professor Chaos, General Disarray, and anyone else. You say that Wonder Tweek is holding you, Craig, and everybody else in the franchise plan down. No Coon! You're holding me and them down because you're a bully and manipulator who's all talk and no action in this scenario! By the way, your franchise plan will be like your dick: small, soft, and shriveled up! Facts!'
Strategizing my next move, I zap at the downgraded version of the Taco Bell monster/machine thing to lash at it with my microphone throw a curveball, I airhorn at the microphone for a sonic vibration as a hindrance to stop him from making any moves. This brought me some time to retrieve my keytar and the bullets that are on the ground.
"OP Missile launch incoming!"
I put the bullets in my keytar. Oh, I am ready for these missiles!
"Oh I am so ready! Chaos!" there he did, initiating the missiles in T-minus right now. Seeing the falling missiles, I fire bullets at them, "Rahhhhhhhhh!"
Kabam!
Kaboom!
Kapow!
Flash!
Click! Click! Fuck this, I have these pop-its bombs I can reload in my keytar.
Pew! Pew! Pew!
Crack! Crack! Crack!
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Pop! Pop! Pop!
I roll out some 'cherry bombs' under the Taco Bell monster/bug thing and let them out with a bang when I project two microphone down on the ground for that ear-piercing static noise!
Sssshblamm!
Hissssssss!
Thisshig Rrrerrk!
Bzzzzzzzzzzzz!
Ugh, the only way to stop these missiles is if to break the gun part of the missiles. But how to reach this Taco Bell average-sized machine/bug thing? Unless there is a way.
No one's point of view
The 5-layer Chaos Supreme (This is why Heartthrob called the monster/bug/machine thing Taco Bell) makes a move on Heartthrob which "supposed to run her over." Of course, she sees it as an advantage by using her microphone cord lasso on the minion weird-ass arm part and sends herself flying.
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeee! Ahhhhhhhh!" she lets out as she is being swung around by the minion weird-ass arm part, "Hahahahahaha!"
'That's it, that's the gun part of the missiles,' said Heartthrob mentally as she pinpoints where the missiles shoot from. From a distance, she boomerangs her bass guitar at one side; she lassoes on and did a slingshot kick on the other gun part of the missiles.
Shatter!
Bam!
With the two gun parts of the missiles ruptured, the 5-layer Chaos Supreme is malfunctioning and look like it's about to deteriorate.
In a mid-air, she again binds the 5-layer Chaos Supreme with her microphone cord to clash into the 5-layer Chaos Supreme with her electric guitar and cymbal shield, "Ahhhhhhhhh!"
From the collision, both opponents tumble back on the ground. Oh no, the 5-layer Chaos Supreme is now disintegrating! The minions are calling it quits as they are scrambling out of here!
"No! This cannot be the end! I'm really glad that we opted for three phrases, New Vigilante!"
"Hell no! I am not fighting with you if you have dogs!" she puts her hand out at the Mini Supreme
The Mini Supreme attacks Heartthrob with a 'Chaos Rush' and it is about to let it rip with the 'Dog Shitter!' Oh, wait Heartthrob, reeling her way out alive from that off-putting move. Oh god, Heartthrob better come up with something.
'I can't use my weapons on the itsy-bitsy Taco Bell spider thing. There are dogs! What should I do?! There is no time to lose!' she urged to herself, 'Wait, remember that lullaby song on them earlier?! That put them at ease to distract them from fighting me! Let's go for it!'
What's this? Heartthrob is preparing her move, 'Siren's Song!' She clears her throat and opens her mouth to sing.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Monday, you send me flowers
Tuesday, made me feel stupid
Wednesday, the world was ours
Thursday, you didn't prove it
Friday, fell back in love
Saturday, we didn't talk
Sunday, you said you needed space
Do you miss me? Am I crazy?
Am I losing hold of all of you baby?
Either you want me or you don't
I need to know, I need to know
Who are you today?
Will you be the sun or the pouring rain?
Who are you tomorrow?
Will you make me smile or just bring me sorrow?
(Who are you?)
Who are you gonna be when I'm lost and I'm scared?
(Who are you?)
Who are you gonna be when there's nobody there?
Who are you today?
'Cause I am still (still) the same
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Monday, you had my heart
Tuesday, you had me screaming
Wednesday, we didn't part
Thursday, you didn't mean it
Friday, I shook it off
Saturday, you got it wrong
Sunday, I said I needed space
Do you miss me? Am I crazy?
Am I losing hold of all of you baby?
Either you want me or you don't
I need to know, I need to know
Who are you today?
Will you be the sun or the pouring rain?
Who are you tomorrow?
Will you make me smile or just bring me sorrow?
(Who are you?)
Who are you gonna be when I'm lost and I'm scared?
(Who are you?)
Who are you gonna be when there's nobody there?
Who are you today?
'Cause I am still the same
(Who are you?)
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
(Who are you?)
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
(Who are you?)
It's so strange how the same face
Can make you feel so right and bring you so much pain
It's so strange how the same face
Can make you love until it hurts
Where do we go? (Where do we go?)
I need to know (I need to know)
Who are you today? (Today!)
Will you be the sun or the pouring rain? (Or the pouring rain?)
Who are you (who are you) tomorrow?
Will you make me smile or just bring me sorrow?
(Who are you?)
Who are you gonna be when I'm lost and I'm scared?
(Who are you?)
Who are you gonna be when there's nobody there?
Who are you (who are you) today? (Today?)
'Cause I am still (I'm still) the same, the same
Yeaaaah
The same
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Who are you (who are you) today? (Today?)
'Cause I am still (I'm still) the same, the same
Yeaaaah
The same
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Wow, her voice is so sweetly tempting to get the Mini Supreme to submit in defeat as the dogs comes at her to be petted by her. They lick her face and she kiss them on the heads while giving them rubs on their tummies. Professor Chaos descends on the ground vanquished by Heartthrob's harmonizing voice.
~ Victory! ~
Tweek (as Heartthrob)'s point of view
I approach and look at Professor Chaos and General Disarray. I hold out my arms to hug them both. I know that it is crazy of me as a hero or an anti-hero to have mercy on the villains. Then again, if it wasn't for the crimes in this town and the civil wars, then I, Heartthrob, formerly Wonder Tweek, wouldn't meet Professor Chaos and General Disarray. Moreover, I want to ask them questions regards to everything's going on to this town. I pull my phone to see what time is it. Holy shit, it is now 11:55 pm! I better take them home or who knows what. I carry them on my back and flee the scene by jumping down on one of the trucks and go through mazes of the areas to the fence, so I can climb over it. It is a good thing I got to Professor Chaos's lair before anyone could. The Coon and Friends and the Freedom Pals. I scoff at the thought of them. They're probably too busy with their feuds and franchise plans to even give a damn.
~ The next day ~
Butter's point of view
I wake up to my bedroom. How am I at my bedroom when all I remember is that I'm at the U-Stor-It unit as Professor Chaos with his sidekick, General Disarray? As I get up, my head is spinning and aching from yesterday. I remember conducting my evil mastermind plan to smolder the whole town in red 'lavas' and the 'New Vigilante'. Her purple and red hair. Her makeups. Her clothes and shoes. Who is that girl? If she wasn't in either Coon Friends or Freedom Pals, who is she? I feel a hand planted on me to shook me up. I turn to see Dougie.
"Hey Dougie," I greet him, "What happened yesterday?"
"I don't know. All I remember is that I'm at the warehouse and this 'New Vigilante' manages to knock me cold with her move. I must've passed out from her move and the sound of her screaming and cursing," Dougie recalled to me.
"Purple and red hair? Green hazel eyes? Red lips? Eye makeup and hearts and broken hearts on her face? Hourglass/Curvy figure? Itty-bitty top and shorts? Combat boots?" I provide details about the 'New Vigilante.' The same details from my minions.
"Yes, yes, and yes. What surprises me is that she is around your height or taller, Butters," Dougie tries to approximate how tall or short she is when he and I met her, "She looks taller to me when she overpowered me in the warehouse."
As we try to figure out about the 'New Vigilante,' the scent of pancakes or crepes, bacon, and sausages, and potatoes fill our nose to make our mouth watery. The voice of someone's singing light up the room; wait, I know that voice!
One more time
I promise after that, I'll let you go
Baby I don't care if you got her in your heart
All I really care is you wake up in my arms
One last time
I need to be the one who takes you home
Me and Dougie turn around to see Tweek in the same clothes as the 'New Vigilant' has on holding a tray of pancakes, crepes, slices of bacon, and sausages, and stir-fried potatoes. Wait, what?! Tweek is the 'New Vigilante' we fought with and got conquered by all this time?! Tweek is dressed up as a girl the whole time?!
"Hey guys, I made breakfast for all of us," he put the tray of breakfast on my bed, "
"Tweek, what are you doing? I thought you're with Coon's Friends or Freedom Pals?!" I ask him.
"Why should I join these dipshits?" I can see Tweek wearing a confused, yet annoyed look on his face. He speaks in a rather deep and cold voice, "These loser-ass 'heroes' are nothing but a bunch of liars and twats who thinks they're all high and mighty to be better than everybody and never try hard to save lives. They only exist to boast about the things they are handed to them on silver platters and shits and how they are always right in this black and white world."
"Because umm..." I attempt to find the reasons why. I am surprised to hear Tweek saying what's on his mind. What pushes him to become... blunt? What pushes him to become dark?
"Thought so. They are idiots to never suspect me cross-dressing as a girl. Anyways, I want to join an alliance with you guys," he answered. Does Tweek want to go to our sides?
"Hold on, why do you want to join us? You beat the shit out of us and our minions," Dougie interjects which causes Tweek to raise an eyebrow at him.
"As I was saying, I want to join an alliance with you guys because one of the methheads or crackheads sings out the truth like a love-struck canary about the horrendous kidnapping of cats for urine and the crime in this town plotted by 'the big man.' The big man he spoke of recruited the Italians, Russians, and the Sixth graders, so he can cause crimes in this town. He says in his words, 'He doesn't even do it for the money, man. It's like- It's like he wants more crimes in the streets,'" he elaborates on his reason to join us and the information about the crime in this town caused by 'the big man' and the people who are with 'the big man.'
"I want questions to the truth and I want confessions from you guys," He stares at us like one of the characters in these mystery-fiction and action TV shows, "I know that you've been played by 'the big man' because something didn't add up. How did you get all of this money from all by yourself? All of this money cost more than a lifetime supply of exotic coffee beans! So, tell me where did you get that much money from?! Are you paid by 'the big man?!' Who gives them to you?! Who is 'the big man?!'"
Damn, Tweek is intimidating when he's mad and confrontational. Especially with logic. Tweek is never the kind of person to lash out and confronts people. Tweek is never the logical person. He is always about emotions, feelings, and thoughts. Of course, he is in his costume of the 'New Viligante' which makes a whole lot of sense.
"I'm tellin ya: I don't know his name, fella! Nobody does! He's just trying to unite all the crime families in town! He's everywhere! He's nameless. Faceless. He can change his appearance like the wind changes directions!" I spill the beans to Tweek.
"It is not us who are causing this! We've been blackmailed by 'the big man!'" Dougie added, "He's manipulating us like we're his puppets!"
"He says there's a revolution coming and the darkness of our own hearts will bring about our undoing!" I informed, "He... he is that which liberates and he knows the true weakness of tolerance and his coming will bring about a tide of Chaos, like nothing we've never seen, you betcha."
"He must be a sneaky bastard to turn everything into his own game for whatever motive he has. You two are the pawn in it. Coon's friends and Freedom Pals are tools and accessories for the crimes in this town with their petty little differences and stupid-ass pride," he explains, "With the three of us banding together as a team, we're going to bring him down!"
"But how?! Me and Butters are the villains and you're a hero or an anti-hero!" Dougie points out to Tweek.
"So? Who cares about that bullshit?! In every fucking movies, TV shows, and whatever else, they recycle 'the heroes always win in the end and the villains are left nothing and never redeem themselves' bullshits over and over! In fact, they always use unoriginal tropes and bullshits in it! I'm so not impressed!" he says in a sarcastic manner, "Fuck this bullshit and fuck them all, let's eat this breakfast and go on our conquests together as a team! Professor Chaos, General Disarray, and Heartthrob!"
"Yeah! Let's do this!" I saluted him.
"All right!" Dougie cheered.
Me, Dougie, and Tweek eats up our big breakfast to start the day as a team consisted of Professor Chaos, General Disarray, and Heartthrob! We're like the X-Force or the S.H.I.E.L.D!
