Kendall smiled as he got into line for an ice cream cone, still feeling the warmth of James' body everywhere the two had touched. Seeing the big, strong brunette scared was something so unexpectedly cute, he couldn't help but burn the image into his mind and save it for a rainy day.
Or…maybe he wouldn't need it for a rainy day. Maybe he could have the real thing? As soon as the thought ran through his hockey-obsessed brain, it wouldn't leave.
It would be nice, he realized, having James for himself. It'd be like what they have now with movie dates, talking for hours until early morning, goofing around, endless flirting while he held the brunette, but then he could actually kiss James…
Kendall liked kissing. Like, a lot.
And Kendall liked James. (Maybe even more than he thought he did.)
So, in theory, it should be correct to assume he would like kissing James.
Kendall really wanted to test out that hypothesis.
When Kendall got to the front of the line, he offered the girl working the stand a smile, saying, "Can I get a…" His smile suddenly widened. "One chocolate cone, please," he finished. He and James could share.
As the girl fulfilled his order, the blonde thought about how to test his theory out… Maybe he could purposely smear a little ice cream on James' lips somehow, tell James he had a little something on his lips, and clean it with his own mouth. Maybe he could tell James' to close his eyes for a surprise, and push some ice cream in the brunette's mouth with his tongue. Clichés were cliché for a reason, right? They had to work.
Or, you know, he could just walk up to James and kiss him. Bluntness was always a good way to handle things in Kendall's book.
Eh, he'd just let the moment come and feel his way through it—hopefully, in the most literal sense.
"Here you go, Mister…" The girl paused as she handled Kendall the sugary treat, the inflection of the sentence clearly showing her expectation of a name. She smiled her best smile, battled her long lashes, flipped her long hair over her shoulder.
But Kendall was oblivious to it all. Right then at that moment, James was the only thing on his mind and everyone else seemed to pale in comparison. "Thank you," he said happily, handing her a five dollar bill. "Keep the change."
Even as he walked away from the stand, ice cream in hand and a smile stretching his lips, Kendall failed to realize that this was the first time in a month he wasn't thinking anything about Jett Stetson.
He walked back to where he left James faster than he needed to, in something like a power walk, the excitement and giddiness running through his veins. He could do this. He wanted to do this. He wanted James. Like as a boyfriend. He could do—
"KENDALL'S FUCKING JETT?"
Shit. Kendall's hand loosened its grip, sending the ice cream plummeting to the ground, but the boy didn't even notice it. His heart was pumping wildly in his chest; it was almost deafening in his now red ears. James knows?
At the sticky "plop" the ice cream made on contact with the hard asphalt, James turned. The look on the brunette's face—wide, hurt eyes, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, mouth open and pulled back into an angry snarl—only raised the volume of Kendall's heartbeats. Somehow, despite the noise, Kendall still heard every word with perfect clarity.
"You're…" James took a shaky breath. "You're fucking Jett."
It wasn't a question.
"James, please." His words were hurried, frantic, probably hard to understand, but he knew James would get it. Well, he hoped. So badly. "Let me explain—"
James shook his head a couple of times as if trying to wrap his head around the very idea. "You're fucking Jett. Jett. You don't even like Jett!" With a sudden passion, James exclaimed, "And what about Jo?"
Double shit. Kendall had forgotten all about her. He opened and closed his mouth in a futile attempt to find the right words and solve this situation, but it did nothing except give him the impression of a dying fish.
James took another deep breath, looking up to meet anxious green eyes with his own hazel. His voice was softer now. "What about me?" he asked.
With a pang to his chest, Kendall finally found his mind. "James, I—"
The taller boy cut him off. "No, save it because I don't want it." He got up from the bench, shook his head, and started off in the direction of the direction of the general direction of the parking lot. Within seconds, he seemed he was already miles away. "We all deserve better than you."
Kendall stood there, watching him walk away until the other boy was out of eyesight. And then he watched some more until it was no light left from the sun and only the moon illuminated the empty street. Then, he hung his head and cried out all the feeling in his body.
But even with his body numb, Kendall's heart still constricted in pain.
"Kendall, get into the car." The blonde made no move. Maybe he was frozen because it seemed not even his heart was pumping blood through his body, his cheeks were so pale. "Kendall, get into the car," the voice repeated.
Nothing.
"Kendall." The person sighed, running a hand through short raven black tuffs of hair. He wasn't good with things like this. Right now he really needed that rocking mom to get Kendall back to his senses. He opened the door to the Big Time Rush mobile by leaving over from the driver's seat and tried again. "Come on, Kendall."
No move, but he could almost hear that familiar voice muttering. "No, he hates me… Never… My fault…"
"KENDALL!" The person got sick of this game, so he finally got out of the car himself and pushed Kendall into the passenger seat. He leaned over the unresponsive boy, buckling the seatbelt carefully before getting back into the car himself. "Isn't this better than being outside in the cold?" he asked, sending a soft smile to the blonde.
Finally, slowly, jade-colored eyes glanced over. "Logan," Kendall said. His cheeks were still sickly pale, but the ring around his eyes made up for it, showing off a deep purplish-red like a bruise. A couple more stray tears trailed down his skin.
"Hey, buddy," Logan replied in the same tone of voice he'd use if he was talking to a small child. "I'm going to take you home, okay? I'll make you dinner and then tuck you in for a good night's sleep. It'll be okay, all right?"
Kendall nodded his head once before leaning it against the cool glass of his window. He closed his eyes tightly, wishing he could believe the words coming from his intelligent best friend, but it was impossible. He knew nothing would ever be okay again.
And he had caused it all.
All I'd like to say here today is thank you all for the amazing reviews, alerts, favorites, and even just reading :)
