End's Beginning – Chapter 7
Sheldon paced furiously as he took his temperature yet again. Pinching the front of his t-shirt between his thumb and his forefinger, he fanned the cotton quickly to create a miniscule breeze against his chest and neck. The thermometer beeped and after removing it from his mouth, he read the electronic display.
"97.5 degrees Fahrenheit, 36.4 degrees Celsius."
"See. Still afebrile. You're fine," Amy's monotone voice spoke to him over the computer.
"Ninety degrees, Amy, ninety degrees," Sheldon once again shouting the offending number at the computer. "Leonard maliciously adjusted that thermostat," his arm pointing wildly to the device in question, "and left me here in the sweltering heat to roast like a foil wrapped potato in hot coals."
"Sheldon, please. You're exaggerating."
"The Sweaty Night of '06 was nothing, nothing compared to this." Sheldon put a hand to his forehead. "An amendment to the Roommate Agreement is not enough to address this blatantly vicious behavior. Fines aren't suitable punishment either. No. I believe the only suitable remedy for this egregious transgression are sanctions."
Amy shook her head and sighed. Initially, it had been quite pleasing to watch Sheldon pace like a manly beast, his shapely, firm buttocks barely contained in the tighty-whities. As it was the most intimate encounter they had to date, she toyed with the idea of encouraging Leonard to turn the thermostat up more often. Except for the iced washcloth tented on his parietal skull that Sheldon insisted on wearing 'to cool his frying head', it was kind of … sexy. Now after forty minutes of ranting, any sexy was long gone and it was just tedious.
"Sheldon, calm down."
"Calm down? Calm down? How can I possibly calm down? Leonard committed a vicious violation of our Roommate Agreement and knowingly put me in danger of hyperthermia, heat stroke, or any one of the many heat related illness classifications."
"You are being unreasonable. First, the temperature never rose to ninety. You noticed it at eighty-one. Second, eighty-one degrees is not a temperature that would likely cause any heat related sequelae. And thirdly, I'd like to remind you that you are an endotherm. You create heat by metabolic processes. Your incessant pacing and frantic activity is fueling your endothermic jets by keeping you warm and consequently making you feel hotter."
Sheldon stopped pacing and turned to the computer, his face filling the screen. "Amy! My brain is exceptional, a once in a century precious rarity and should not be subjected to such dramatic heat! My brain and thus my intelligence will be cooked like an egg on a hot pan! And then where will I be? Insignificant, ordinary and common just like you and everyone else!"
"That was uncalled for. And you look ridiculous in that washcloth hat."
Sheldon glared at the screen.
"Just lower the thermostat to cool the apartment," Amy reasonably suggested.
"I've been taking multiple cooling showers, Amy! My hair is wet! Do you want me to catch a cold in addition to hyperthermia?"
"Sheldon, you don't catch a cold from a wet head. One gets a the common cold from airborne droplet exposure from any of the over 200 various viruses responsible for transmission."
"That's your opinion."
"Well if you won't turn the thermostat down, why don't you just open a window?"
"And risk a bird flying in here? Or a bat? Or any number of pestilence carrying diseased insects? Please! Do you even listen to yourself?"
"Sheldon, I think that there is something more going on here that you are not sharing. What happened between you and Leonard tonight?"
Sheldon's eye twitched. "Nothing. Why do you ask?"
"This passive-aggressive strike is very much in response to some stimulus that incited Leonard and drove him to action. It's not his character to act out. He generally submits to the oppression of the Roommate Agreement without resistance. There is the occasional Leonard rebellion but even then that ends with, at the most, a sigh of exasperation, a tedious comment or 'The Leonard Look.'"
"What's 'The Leonard Look'?"
"You know the one where he turns his head down and looks at you over his glasses while furrowing his eyebrows." As she was speaking, Amy recreated 'the look'.
Sheldon sighed. Oh yes. He knew 'the look'.
"What I'm saying is that this acting out is just a symptom of something much larger. Pardon my use of the street vernacular but something 'set him off.' And, quite possibly, you are in a position to know what it was."
Sheldon's eye twitched again. "As Leonard is nothing but perplexing and inscrutable, a complete quagmire of the ordinary and unexplainable, I have no idea what may have 'set him off'."
Twitch.
Amy, looking judgmental, just shook her head.
"Let me just say this. In my time of great need, in this heat emergency, you have been nothing but a disappointment, Amy Farrah Fowler. Now if you don't mind, I must attend to crafting sanctions to address Leonard's malicious behavior."
Amy sighed. "Good night, Sheldon."
…..
The last paper had just exited the printer and Sheldon gathered the latest draft of the Sanctions Section of the newly amended Roommate Agreement. He carefully tapped the papers in place, avoiding dents, aligning them neatly and perfectly straight in an 8x11 bundle.
Calmer now and satisfied that all future behaviors will be summarily dealt with, Sheldon reviewed the 'Leonard Banned from Halo Night Sanction', the 'Leonard Banned from New Comic Book Night Sanction', and the 'Leonard Banned from Vintage Video Game Night Sanction' with pleasure. After securing the document in the tabbed plastic Roommate Agreement binder, he put it on top of Leonard's computer with a conveniently placed pen for easy signing.
Just as Sheldon turned to go to the kitchen for a soothing cup of warm milk, the phone rang and all the electronic devices in the apartment beeped simultaneously, both laptops and his cell phone, signaling incoming messages.
Sheldon looked suspiciously at all the machines. "That's odd."
As the computers and cell phone would be receiving text messages and could be reviewed later, social nicety dictated that the ringing telephone should be answered be first.
"Hello?" Sheldon heard a recorded message.
You are receiving this alert through the University Emergency Notification System. Please be advised that a dangerous situation has been reported on campus at the University Research Labs. This location is now closed due to an explosion and fire. Please evacuate nearby buildings and avoid the area until further notice. Tune to AM 410 for continued information. Thank you for your cooperation.
Sheldon gasped in shock, nearly dropping the phone.
Turning, he yelled down the hallway that led to the bedrooms. "Leonard! Leonard! Come here quickly! You have to hear this! There's an emergency at the University! Len …," his voice trailed off as cold realization chilled his spine. His roommate wasn't at home and was at, as far as he knew, the University Research Labs.
A man of order and routine, lists and schedules all created and designed to keep his anxiety in check, Sheldon had no idea what to do. All the Emergency Preparedness Drills had not readied him for this – an actual emergency that made his innate apprehension flare and any readiness crumble. The panic left him physically spinning in his living room, in his t-shirt and underwear with a washcloth on his head, clutching the phone with such force that he nearly snapped it in half.
The house phone once again rang in his hand. Sheldon stopped turning and answered it quickly.
"Hello?"
"Good evening. This is Detective Palmieri with the Pasadena Police Department. I'd like to speak with Sheldon Cooper, if he's available."
"This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper."
"Good. Sorry to bother you Dr. Cooper but you're listed as the emergency contact for Leonard Stadler."
"Hofstadter," Sheldon corrected. "And yes, I am."
"I'm sorry to report to you that there has been an emergency at the University and Mr. Stadler has been injured."
"Dr. Hofstadter," Sheldon corrected again. "What? What happened? Is he hurt badly?"
"I certainly can't speak about any injury or how severe it is. The ER docs will fill you in there. But I can tell you he's awake and alert and he's been talking with us."
Distracted, Sheldon glanced at his cell phone as it began to beep incessantly with incoming calls. And now the home phone began to beep under the detective's voice indicating there was an incoming call standing by on line, waiting to be answered.
"He's on the stretcher right now. Looks like he's just got a bump to the head. It's all wrapped up like some sort of soldier in a Civil War reenactment."
"Thank goodness." Sheldon released a breath that he didn't even realize he had been holding.
"And he's being taken to the ER at Huntington. The docs can explain everything there."
"All right. Thank you, Detective."
Sheldon pressed a key to allow the waiting call to be answered.
"Hello?"
"Sheldon! It's Howard. Did you get the alert about what happening at the University?"
"I did. Howard …"
"Did you turn on the TV? The camera crews are there! It's unbelievable! The whole wall is blown out! I can't imagine what happened! Does Leonard know? I can't get in touch with him. His phone just keeps going to voice mail."
"Howard, Leonard was at the University."
"What? Why? Why was he at the University? He said he had research and calculations, but he never said he had to go to his lab."
"And as his emergency contact, I just got a call from a detective informing me that Leonard was injured."
"Wait! What?! Oh my, God! How badly is he hurt? What did they say?"
"He said that Leonard sustained a bump to the head. Given how little he uses it, it's not the worst thing that could happen."
"Sheldon! Really? Was that necessary?"
"They also said he was awake and alert and was speaking to them. They're taking him to the Huntington ER."
Howard called over his shoulder to Bernadette. "Bernie, see if you can get Penny on the phone. Sheldon says Leonard was at the University and was injured." Sheldon heard a squeaky 'Oh my, God' from Bernadette in the background. "Sheldon says they told him it's not bad, just a bump to the head."
"Sheldon, I'll get Raj and we're coming over to pick you up to take you to the hospital."
"Oh no. No. I don't think that will be necessary." Sheldon could feel the dizziness, dry mouth and the elevated heart rate that would overcome him anytime he thought of hospitals and the unclean germ ridden activities there.
"What's not necessary? The ride? Or going to the hospital?"
"Both."
"What? Why?"
"There are the germs, the very contagion that lingers and brews in the corridors and is lying in wait for a susceptible host. The diseases. The sick. The smells. The overall … stickiness. Besides, I'm feeling rather ill and sick people shouldn't go to the hospital."
"Sheldon, you're fine. I spent all evening with you. And you went with Leonard to the hospital before when he got the stitches in his hand, right? This is no different."
"But this is different."
"How?"
"Because I said it is."
"You are his emergency contact and have his Living Will and Durable Power of Attorney, correct?"
"Yes."
"So what if they need consent for any medical procedures?"
"They said it was a just a bump to the head and that he was alert and talking. Certainly Leonard can consent for himself."
Sheldon heard Howard's exasperated sigh over the phone.
"Howard, this is real. If someone sneezes or coughs near me, I can feel their wet spray on my face for hours. Besides that, hospitals have a general ewwey-ness," Sheldon defended.
Sheldon heard Howard speaking to Bernadette. "He's says he's not coming to the hospital because of the germs and sick people shouldn't go to the hospital. Oh, and hospitals are ewwey."
"Give me that phone. Sheldon, this is Bernadette."
"The sandpaper effect on the base of my spine due to the mouse-squeak character of your voice made identification unnecessary."
"As a microbiologist, let me tell you that there is little actual danger to you at the hospital. There are more germs in your apartment than are in a hospital." However since it didn't support her position in the argument, she left out the fact that the hospital germs are more pathologic and virulent. No need to mention that. "Leonard is your friend. Now gather what you think you'll need, your latex gloves, your Purell, your Clorox Wipes, whatever. But so help me God, you are going to that hospital and if I need to carry you there on my back I'll do it."
"All riiiiiight," Sheldon hissed peevishly.
Howard was back on the line. "OK, so we'll be by to pick you up."
"No, Howard. Thank you. I'll contact Amy Farrah Fowler and she'll take me."
"OK … but if Amy can't take you, call me right back, OK?"
"Thank you, Howard."
"All right. We'll meet you there."
...
