Author's free write! As a forewarning this chapter contains sexual jokes that may be inappropriate for some people, if you're one of them skip when it says to and read again when it says to. But I want to thank my friends at my school's drama club for being the freaks they are, if not for them and free mick day on Tuesday this chapter would never have been finished. SO THANK YOU! But yah, this really happened at my school all these jokes included, and the language and finger language was also present, the only thing that I didn't put in was that the teacher that supervises us was sitting in front of the spot light and making a shadow with his hand so he was grouping the guy's crocks during their act. The funny thing is that they had no idea that it was him! XD
Warning: This fanfic contains yaoi, drug, language, character bashing, lemons, angst, kidnapping, rape, character death, anything else I can think of, and my own character that has a thing for Itachi.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, never have, never will; but that won't stop me from dreaming!
Luck of the Draw
Reposted and Retyped
Sasuke POV:
"What the hell Uchiha? I said you could date him! Not fuck him!" I grumbled under my breath about my brother's total lack of privacy that he gave me; I tuned out Mitsuki for the moment to look at Naruto. He had gotten off of his back so he could yell at Mitsuki who was on the other end of the phone, (I had found out soon after I moved here that my brother wired all my phones so he could turn on the intercom whenever he wanted to annoy me.) it looked like he had completely forgotten the previous make out session that we were having. I was really starting to get into it to. But that was at the back of my mind at the moment, my main problem was that Mitsuki, the crazy woman who loves my brother, or so I had assumed, had just caught me making out with her only brother. From what I could remember Itachi telling me about Mitsuki, she was so protective over things that she loved that once she had put three grown men in the hospital for making lewd faces at her. Or the time Itachi had been put in the hospital because Mitsuki thought he had been flirting with another woman; however that woman was our second cousin from out of town. But that didn't stop Mitsuki; she still took the time to remind Itachi of who his caring girlfriend was by taking care of him while he was in the hospital for four weeks. At the remembrance of Mitsuki's violence, that I had never even witnessed firsthand, I couldn't contain a shudder before I turned my attention back to Naruto and the conversation he was having on the phone. "Oh shut up! It's not my fault you have a fetish for possessive guys!" Naruto blushed deeply at his sister's words, than shyly looked over at me; he swiftly turned back to the phone when he saw I had raised a brow at his sister's comment.
"I do not have a fetish!" Naruto yelled back into the phone defensively but he still blushed badly at the commentary, after the retort from Naruto I waited for Mitsuki to yell back into the phone, but all I heard was a quiet murmuring in the background, which I assumed was Mitsuki speaking to Itachi.
"Naruto leave the room I need to speak with Sasuke alone." Mitsuki commanded, I heard Naruto grumble then he walked out of the room making sure to grab his shirt that I somehow had discarded in the heat of the moment without noticing. Making sure to slam the door shut I redirected my attention from Naruto to Mitsuki, I heard her sigh as Itachi shuffled in the background doing who knows what. "Sasuke I really don't have a problem with you two dating, in fact I thought that you to would end up together eventually once we finally introduced you to each other, but right now you know nothing about Naruto! Itachi and I met and got to know each other in high school. I'm sure you two could find something that clicked but Naruto has school and you have to work for your dad, which leaves no time to get to know Naruto. Listen what I know that what I'm saying may sound really cruel but why don't you two wait and se-"
"What if I went to school with Naruto?" I could hear the clock tick by as I waited to see what the female blond would say after I had cut her off, but I was surprised when she didn't answer immediately. In fact, the only sound I heard was a thump as the phone hit the ground and the sound of Itachi sighing when he had to pick the phone up off the ground.
"Sasuke don't give my girlfriend a heart attack, I assume that you Naruto has told you I'm going to be marrying Mitsuki so at least wait till after our wedding night." Itachi said in a serious voice that startled me as I comprehended those words.
"Wait, Mitsuki's a virgin? What the hell I thought that you have been mindlessly fu-!" This time Itachi cut me off from shouting in to the phone, but I still heard a slight grunt as Itachi pulled the phone back from his ear at my outburst.
"Yes Mitsuki is a virgin, have a little faith in your Nii-chan, I'm not that shallow. Also reframe from the coarse language Sasuke." An 'hn' was the only response given so Itachi continued where Mitsuki left off. "Sasuke if you're serious about Naruto then going to school with him sounds like a great idea. Without the social aspect of school it would be a waste of your time since Kakashi has been tutoring you, but this way sounds fine. Plus Kakashi actually works at the school that Naruto attends so I'm sure he would help you out."
"I'm serious, I can just leave the issues of the company to Karin; she can just send me the important documents that need my approval."
"Alright, just go to the school tomorrow with Naruto. I know the principal so I'll call him and Kakashi to get everything ready." I thanked him and hung up the phone before my annoying brother could pester me about anything else, after which I turned to the door and walked out to find Naruto, thankfully the storm had calmed down at the beginning of the conversation so Naruto should had been okay by himself. Now to be honest I wasn't sure about going to school. Yes, I wanted to get close to Naruto, and going to school and getting a diploma at the same time as him will allow me to do so, and get Mitsuki off my back, yet it was still bothering me. When I remembered my middle school I always would cringe in fright. At least three times a week something of mine got stolen by a crazy fan, and not all of my fans were girls. The second biggest reason for saying I would take over the company was so I could get away from those leeches, the first reason being so I could prove to my father that I wasn't worthless.
However, that plan backfired since I now hated my life when it came to work and my father. My dad's company was a talent agency that was famous for the world's biggest starts in every know form of the arts. Our clients ranged from operas, to sculptors, brake dancers, artist, and even actors. But I never really cared for the idea of being a talent scout or having to work with other people so closely, the mere thought of gaining recognition from my father was simply an opportunity that I would had have been crazy not to take. After my dad retired I was left with the company and with the help of my idiotic workers/minions/friends I was able to run the company smoothly, my dad still messed with my life every now and then like with arranging marriages for me, but I learned to not care about what my father thought.
Time Skip~
After I had found Naruto raiding my fridge I had the pleasure of dragging the half asleep blond idiot to bed with me, where he had refused to release me from his death drip, so we slept together in the same bed. Somehow I just knew that Naruto wasn't going to be a morning person so I made sure to wake him up so we had enough time to get ready for school. While I drove Naruto to school I made sure to keep all the questions I asked about Naruto and the school very unsuspecting. After all, Naruto had no idea I was going to be going to be a student at his school from that day onward, and I wanted to keep it a surprise. Once I finished talking with Naruto I must say that I was surprised. I didn't think Naruto would have been able to get into the best private school in a 100 mile radius called Konoha Private Academy (KPA for short), or that he was a tutor for Japanese and drama. Apparently Naruto was very well versed in the Japanese language and culture, but he was not very good at basic studies, in fact he was currently failing chemistry and world history. Also the student body president was apparently one of his friends so every now and then he tended to skip class and told the teacher that the president called.
Soon I pulled up to the school and parked, Naruto being both curious and gullible fell for the excuse of I needed to speak with Kakashi since he was my tutor. We walked together until we had to separate, with a wave I made my way down the hall and to the main office, knowing perfectly well where I was going since Itachi had drug me there quite a few times. Once I was in the door I was instantly glomped from the front by a man with white hair that I recognized as Kakashi.
"Hello Kakashi, how are you?" I already knew what he was going to say, Kakashi was the type of person who didn't change, his character was set and he knew who he was.
"Not bad, but I still get lost on the road of life every now and then. But that's not why you're here, so let me be the first to welcome you to KPA!" I looked at the masked vice principle in front of me and surveyed him. Yep, still hadn't changed a bit. Kakashi had long silver hair that somehow defined gravity, which earned him the name of gravitation by most of the student body. He wore a mask that covered his lower face while his bangs side swept into his face covering his left eye. Other than that Kakashi would be considered normal, he dressed nicely, spoke politely, the only other weird things was his attitude of being a pervert and those novels he read. Kakashi raddled off the rules in two minutes while the disciplinary officer would have taken over an hour. I was handed my schedule and new uniform and Kakashi showed me to the bathroom then left me change. After I was in my new clothes I took a moment to look at myself. It was a nice uniform that changed every grading period since they were also intertwined with the seasons. Since I started two months after school had begun I still had to wear the fall uniform for another week. My fall uniform was a long white sleeve shirt that was considerably long so I had to tuck it into my pants, and over the shirt I had to wear a red sweater vest with the school emblem of a leaf on the left side of my chest; my pants were simple black dress pants. Soon I realized that I should have already figured out that this was going to be my uniform; Naruto had been wearing the same exact thing yesterday when he came to my house. "Sasuke are you done?" The door opened and I saw Kakashi standing next to another male by his desk.
Said male had long brown hair, which looked like it belonged to a girl, and was tied back in a loose ponytail, with a head band around his forehead. His skin was pale, but not to pale, and he wore the same uniform and scowl as me. The only thing that perked an interest in me was his eyes. I could recognize the eyes of a Hyuuga a mile away, and he was most definitely a Hyuuga, what branch he was I didn't know.
"Sasuke, this is Hyuuga Neji," one for Sasuke," our school's president. Neji will be in charge of making sure you find your classes and that you have everything you need." Neji looked over at me and his frown tugged downward, same for mine. This was the friend that Naruto had been talking about? A Hyuuga? Well, he could have done worse, that was for sure. "Well off you two go I need to read the new book Jiraiya sent me!" Before I could blink I felt myself get pushed out of the room and into the hallway with the Hyuuga. Without so much as a glimpse at me Neji began to walk down the halls, not knowing where my classes were left me with the only choice of following the bastard.
Time Skip~
So far my first day of going to high school sucked hard core. In the first five minute of class I was attacked by idiots and the Hyuuga refused to give me my schedule back after he stole it from me in the hall. That experience left me pissed and ready to kill the next moron that had the juts to walk up to me. Eventually Neji gave me my schedule back, along with a map, and the locker number plus the combination. Thankfully I was able to leave my first period class early to figure out the hall system and to find where my locker was, but by the time I found it the passing period had already started. I counted the locker numbers to myself until I found the number that signified it was my locker and entered the code; only to have it slammed shut as someone bumped into it. A harsh growl tore past my lips at my further aggravation as I looked down to see a boy with long canine teeth, shaggy dirt brown hair, and two tattoos on the side of his face in the shape of triangles laying on the ground. He rubbed the back of his head and smiled at me from the ground before the brunet bolted upright and continued to run down the hall. That was when I heard my Dobe.
"KIBA YOU DOUCHE!" Naruto sprinted from around the corner and easily avoided the other bystanders; he ran past me, stopped, turned around, walked over, looked at me then slapped himself. Looking back at me to see if I was still there Naruto stared a little longer before exclaiming loudly. "What the hell Teme? Why are you here?" I watched his face swiftly move through so many different emotions that included surprise, joy, and confusion, but my Dobe's confusion was just too cute.
"I'm a new student here, and I just wanted to find where my locker was before next period." I used my combo again and opened the locker to see inside, of course Kakashi had put all the books for the courses I was going to be taking and he even had put a packed lunch and my PE uniform in as well. Naruto glanced in as well and furrowed his brows in confusion.
"Why the hell are you going to school, I thought you were taking online classes? And more importantly how did you get the locker above mine?" The thought of Mitsuki and Itachi purposely giving me the locker of above Naruto so I could get to know him made me smirk, though I was also amused at the unintended short joke directed at Naruto. Naruto pouted at the sight of my smirk and opened his locker, pulled out his P.E. uniform and then slammed his locker shut before he turned to face me. I watched him out of the corner of my eye while I read my schedule and smiled inwardly, looked like I had P.E. next too. Also grabbing my uniform I turned to Naruto and then spoke to him.
"Looks like we're in P.E. together, would you mind showing me the way to the locker room?" He nodded before stalking off down the hall we continued our discussion while walking. "So why were you chasing that kid?" The short male shuffled his clothes into his other hand and pondered the question for a second before answering me.
"Kiba and I have English together first period and somehow he managed to knock the shelves over burying me in an avalanche of text books and somehow it was my fault. For the entire period I had to go to see Yuasa- sensei our schools disciplinary teacher. Then when I got back I find out I missed seeing the new student that Kiba said was super-hot and then he said he was so going to fuck them first." Naruto sighed while he rubbed the back of his head in frustration; I waited for the information that Naruto had just told me to be processed in his head. "Wait," he stopped and looked at me, "you're a new student." I nodded and his eyes shot open. "Let me see you're schedule!" My schedule was ripped out of my hands before I could blink, and by the time I did blink Naruto had already scanned the paper, Naruto let out a low growl while at the same time he narrowed his eyes. "Kiba is so dead." We made it to the locker room and I retrieved my paper back from the blond before I found my other locker. Apparently Itachi had also got me the locker next to Naruto in the locker room as well, how thoughtful of him.
Time skip~
Soon I found out I had three classes with the blonde and that Itachi did a fine job of getting me the electives I like. P.E. passed quickly and I had to bide Naruto farewell until lunch, we had agreed to meet up at the auditorium entrance since Naruto said he wanted to show me something. I figured out the bell schedule easily and I found the easiest and fastest route to all my classes, so all in all school was starting to look up now that I had found my dobe. Sure I was still attacked by chicks every time I walked in a class room, but with the knowledge that Naruto and I had at least a few classes together made me feel better. Shortly I found out who Naruto's circle of friends consisted of and I recognized a few of the names. Apparently the Hyuuga heir Hinata and Naruto had gone out a few months ago but they broke up, they still had a strong friendship thought. There was also Kiba the boy I saw earlier, he was known for being one of the best track members and having such a loud mouth. Shikamaru was in my medical science class and seemed like a smart man who moreover was on the debate team and the vice president of the school. I had already met Neji the president and supposed friend of Naruto's, along with Neji I found that his secretary TenTen was also a friend of Naruto's. Then there was Shino, president of the biology club, Choji, a member of the cooking club, Sai, a member of the art club, and Rock Lee, a member of the ballet club.
After seventh period lunch finally came and I had retrieved my lunch from my locker I began my walk to the theater. While I walked a strange feeling begun to grow, like the feeling someone gets when they know someone is watching them, but being who I was, I brushed it off being raised to ignore it. But soon the feeling intensified. Finally I gave in and looked back only to have seen a girl with a camera and died pink hair. She snapped a quick photo, turned and sprinted down the hall and disappeared from sight. Blinking once to clear my vision I shock off the weird experience and continued to the theater to find Naruto and Kiba out front. Upon seeing me Naruto grinned and waved making my heart pound, Kiba just stood there like he saw a giant beetle just walk down the hall and eat a person. Finally he recovered and whispered to Naruto.
"What the hell, you really do know the new student?" Naruto nodded proudly before unlocking the door with a key with a fox on it. "So I'm guessing that means I can't fuck her?"
"I'm a man, so unless you're gay you cannot fuck me." I caught Kiba off so he stumbled back and fell on the ground, earning a chuckle from Naruto and a groan from his friend. Naruto helped Kiba up off the floor before he turned to me with a smile of his bright face.
"Sasuke would you like to join our club?" Naruto threw a proposal out at me with a blinding simile but I just stood there bewildered after all I had no idea Naruto was in a club. He seemed to understand that he hadn't told me about the club though so Naruto rushed to fill me in. "Well you see Kiba and I are members of the Drama club and we need at least one new member before the end of the grading period to keep the club afloat. You don't have to do anything, just sign a paper saying you're in the club and come to a meeting once a grading period." By the end of the sentence I knew what my answer would be. Being in the same club as him would let me get close to him quicker; I still forced myself to sound bored though to hide my eagerness.
"Sure, sounds easy enough." Before I could get another sentence out I was embraced in a crushing yet gentle hug by the hot blond. I melted almost instantly and before long Naruto pulled back and pulled me into the theater. Waving to a few of the seniors in the back Naruto pulled me towards the middle left, Kiba sat on his left and I on his right, we talked for a few minute before the teacher walked on stage. The teacher tapped the micro phone and then spoke into the voice amplifier with a deep soothing voice.
"It's good to see all of you, and I'm really glad to see that Naruto was good enough to bring a new member to the club." At that announcement a chorus of cheers erupted. "Now since I know you all hate for me to talk so much I'll give the mick over to Isao." The unnamed teacher literally threw the mick at the tall boy who was walking to the center of the stage, the teacher jumped off the stage and strolled to the middle of the room and sat down. The boy, who I presumed to be the president, glanced around the room before listing out a few notices and activities that were going to be going on. He finished his bulletin with telling everyone who got parts in the play they were putting on and I found out Naruto was playing the lead.
***** (IF YOU DON'T LIKE SEXUAL JOKES SKIP THIS!)*****
"Okay everyone! As we all know every day we have a game, but today I was lazy and didn't think of anything!" A round of groans and mutters of 'I knew it' were heard. "So today we'll be doing a free mick comedy routine! Winner gets to wash my car!" Someone threw a milk carton at his face. "Okay, okay I was kidding so fuck off Shunichi! Yah I see you! Anyway the real prize is anything from the storage room! I'll announcement my favorite next time." Now at that news the entire club cheered, Naruto included. "So, nothing inappropriate like always!"
Everyone in the room started laughing till their eyes watered at the president's statement except for me. Soon he jumped off the stage and punched the guy called Shunichi in the face while a few people stood up and made their way to the front to get the mick; in the back the stage crew of the club were messing around with the lighting and put a spot light up on the mick when they blew a fuse. After a few bad jokes that were made by freshman, including a very racist joke by a boy nicknamed freshman, the jokes finally were able to at least make me smirk. Apparently the mick went by grade level; since the freshmen and sophomores had gone the juniors were up. A few students and Naruto jumped over the rows of theater chairs and ran to the front to try and snag the mick first. The first bio walked up and gave a wink to the teacher, which the teacher then made a suggestive face back to him before he actually started his joke.
"Okay so a girl walks into a barber eating a Twinkie," that was met with a 'who the hell goes to a barber?' from one of the senior in the back. "I don't know now shut the fuck up! So any way, the girl sits down and the man starts to cut her hair. Well half way through the man looks to the girl and says' ma'am you're getting hair on your Twinkie.' The girl looks at him and says, 'funny, I just bought a bra yesterday.'" The boy, who I recognized then as Shunichi, bowed before throwing the mick at the girl in line who was laughing on the ground.
"Not bad, not bad but I can so do better than him!" She shouted into the mick earning a low laugh from the crowd.
"Yah, I'll say! You're way better in bed than him!" Her checks flared red and she pulled off her shoe and threw it in the crowd earning a louder response of laughter at the outburst and shoe throwing.
"Anyway, what's the difference between 'oh', and 'ah'?" She waited for the 'I don't know' of the crowd, and at the same time she threw a glance at Naruto and winked at him. Needless to say I felt a surge of emotions that I didn't know existed in my body, rush through me. "Easy, three inches!" Turning to look at what I could make out of people's faces in the dim lighting, I could tell that almost everyone had tears in the eyes at the sexual jokes that the juniors were pulling out. Yet how on earth those jokes was deemed as appropriate for school were beyond me. I watched as the girl grinned and passed the mike to another boy and walked past Naruto, making sure to brush his hand in an inviting manner.
"Alright let's try this one on for size!" Yes, some people laughed at that as they interrupted it as something sexual. "My god this club is full of perverts! But back to the subject at hand," again more laughing, "shut up and let me tell the joke! Okay, how does a cub scout become a boy scout?" A pause like any other joke. "They have to eat a brownie." I heard a few 'what's?' and 'I don't get it' while I just sighed at the lack of control the teacher seemed to have of the club.
"Okay, move aside now for some real jokes!" Said teacher stepped forward cutting Naruto off from getting the mick, earning a middle finger at him from the blond. Honestly I thought Naruto would get in huge trouble for that, but instead the teacher simply smiled at him and gave him the finger back. It was useless to say that my mind went into shock at complete madness of the sudden display in front of me. "Now here is the best joke from when I was a kid, so two friends are talking to each other and the first friend says, 'hey, tonight I'm having a group sex session at my place, wanna come?' and the other man says, 'hell yah! How many people are coming?" The other man leans closer to the other, 'three if you bring your girlfriend.'" I heard a few moans and then Naruto walked over and grabbed the mick from the teacher before talking into it.
"Lovely, it's not like we haven't heard that one. So how about some real jokes that will make you laugh?" A monstrous cheer filled the room; I could tell that Naruto was one of the most popular kids in the club. "Well who am I to keep you waiting, so what's the square root of sixty-nine?" Literally the entire club room yelled what up to the stage, making Naruto grin. "Eight something." At this the club burst out in even louder laughter making me covers my ears to block out the sound. Yet even I had to grin at that joke, I had to say, at least Naruto's joke was original.
***** (OKAY IT'S SAFE NOW.)*****
Letting the seniors go the meeting was soon ended and Naruto waved bye to Kiba before pulling me to our lockers. He opened his while talking to me about nothing important, we talked for a few minutes waiting for the bell to ring saying we had to go to class. Naruto laughed before stopping abruptly and covered his face with a book. Surprised by the action I looked around and saw a flash and glimpse of pink hair before my vision blurred and Naruto pulled the book down. Smiling sheepishly he rubbed the back of his head again and laughed quietly.
"Sorry I forgot to tell you to watch out for the HB club. Their president is nice and so is their vice president but they go a little crazy when it comes to new targets."
"What the hell is the HB club?" Quirking my eyebrows Naruto realized his explanation was lacking and stumbled a bit before informing me again, this time with much more detail.
"The HB club stands for hot boy club. As the name implies it's all about hot guys, and it's full of fan girls. The president is Sakura, and the vice president is Ino. Nice girls, they're both smart and interns at the hospital, but when new meat comes around they jump at the chance to devour it. I should know first year I met them they almost blinded me from taking my picture so much."
"Wait, Sakura what?" Naruto gave me a questioning look but he still answered my question.
"Sakura Haruno." Damn, she was the girl that I broke my engagement off with, I had never met her but she called so many times that I had to throw my phone into the bathtub to get it to stop ringing. I silently hoped that she would keep her distance from me, but a small voice in my head told me that was never going to happen. Just as the bell rang Naruto turned to me. "Would you mind meeting me at the theater again after school?"
"Sure I'll be there, see you Dobe." He frowned but let a small smile play his lips after a moment.
"See you Teme."
TBC~
Be nice, click the button and review!
