Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 7


The day that Neal started at his daycare group was not a good day for Peter, Elizabeth or Neal. From the moment he woke up, Neal was nearly impossible to deal with, making it perfectly clear that he didn't like the idea of spending the morning with a bunch of other kids. He insisted on wearing a button-up shirt and tie, despite Elizabeth trying to talk him into something more casual. He didn't want to eat breakfast, even though Elizabeth had made his favorite chocolate chip pancakes. He refused to go upstairs and brush his teeth, until Peter picked him up and carried him upstairs, plopping him down in front of the sink and putting the toothbrush in his hand. He dragged his feet all the way out to the car, causing Peter and Elizabeth both to look at their watches in frustration.

Finally, Peter stooped down and picked Neal up, carrying him to the car and putting him in the booster seat. "Neal, that's enough! We know that you're not excited about going to daycare, but it's happening whether you like it or not. It's only for a few hours, kid, and if you give it a chance, you might like it."

"I'm not gonna like it, Peter," Neal pouted. "I already know that."

Elizabeth turned and looked at Neal. "Sweetie, give it a chance, okay? And when I pick you up, you can tell me everything about it."

Neal said very little for the rest of the ride, choosing to just stare out the window with what Elizabeth thought was an adorable pout. Peter, on the other hand, didn't find it adorable, at all. He was tired of having to fight with Neal over every little thing, a fact made even worse when Neal refused to get out of the car when they arrived, forcing Peter to take him out and carry him into the building. Once they were inside, Peter put Neal down, but held on to his hand. Elizabeth grabbed Neal's other hand, squeezing it to reassure him, as they walked through another door.

Entering into a room that was full of kids and parents, Neal sidled closer to Peter and Elizabeth, as he looked nervously around. Elizabeth led them over to the woman that seemed to be greeting everyone. After talking with a few other parents, she finally turned to the three of them, smiling down at Neal.

"Hi, you must be Neal. I'm Miss Summer. We're so glad to have you here."

Neal looked up at her, smiling shyly. "Hi, Miss Summer."

After a little bit of small talk among Peter, Elizabeth and Miss Summer, Peter and Elizabeth finally decided it was time to leave. Neal was still clutching onto their hands, though, as he watched the controlled chaos around him. Finally, the children all seemed to settle in and a hush settled over the room, as they all turned their attention to one of Miss Summer's assistants.

"Neal, Peter and I need to get to work, okay? I'll be back to pick you up at lunchtime. Be good for Miss Summer, sweetie."

Neal suddenly turned tear filled eyes up to Elizabeth. "Lizbef, I want to go with you. I don't want to stay here."

Peter knelt down and pulled Neal closer to him. "Listen, bud…..you're going to stay here and Elizabeth is going to pick you up at lunchtime. Cowboy up, remember?"

Peter couldn't keep from smiling when Neal suddenly stood up taller and straightened his already straight tie. "Okay, Peter…I'll cowboy up." He threw one last sad look at Elizabeth before turning and following Miss Summer over to a table.

Peter and Elizabeth both left with rather large lumps in their throats.


When it was finally time to pick Neal up, Elizabeth hastily left her office and drove the short distance to the daycare with butterflies in her stomach. She was anxious to know how Neal's morning had gone. Peering through the glass door, she looked over the mass of kids sitting on a large rug, trying to pick Neal out of the group. She felt a slight stirring of fear when she couldn't find him, but seconds later her eyes landed on his small form sitting in a chair in a nearby corner.

As she waited the last few minutes for the session to be over, she wondered what in the world Neal had done to get in trouble on his very first day. Finally, the door opened and the parents were allowed to retrieve their children. Elizabeth wasn't surprised when Neal came running to her as soon as he saw her. She was surprised, though, by the huge grin on his little face.

"Lizbef, you'll never guess what happened today! Miss Summer told me that I was the best drawer she's ever seen. She hung my picture up above her desk. And I won a prize, Lizbef, because I wrote out all my letters the best and the fastest. She gave me a book, too, because I told her I like books. Can Peter read it to me tonight, LIzbef?"

Elizabeth smiled down at Neal, happy to see that he had obviously had a good day. "Wow, Neal….sounds like you had a good day. But, can you tell me why you were sitting in the corner right before class was out?"

Neal's smile quickly left when he realized that Elizabeth knew he had to sit in the corner. He obviously was hoping that she didn't have to know that. "I got in trouble, Lizbef, but I told everyone I was sorry."

Before Elizabeth could ask him what he meant, Miss Summer walked over to where they were standing.

"Mrs. Burke, Neal had a great first day and I'm sure he has lots to tell you. We only had one little problem toward the end of the morning. Neal, would you like to tell Elizabeth what happened?" Miss Summer gave Neal an encouraging look, but Neal quickly shook his head no.

"Okay, I can tell her, Neal," Miss Summer said. "There was an incident during snack time that caused a little bit of an uproar among the children, Mrs. Burke. It seems that Neal tricked several of the other children into giving him their cookies by telling them that he had a rare disease that required him to eat ten cookies every morning or else he would turn into a monster. He even started making strange faces and noises to make them think that his transformation was beginning. One of the little girls at his table started crying, which got the attention of one of the parent helpers. By the time she figured out what was going on, several other children were crying as well. Neal apologized to everyone at his table and gave their cookies back to them. He also spent his free time sitting in our time-out chair."

Elizabeth couldn't believe the story she had heard. Part of her wanted to laugh at what Neal had done, but the more parental part knew that she couldn't. Neal desperately needed to learn that manipulating people for his own gain was wrong. She had to admit, though, that the boy definitely had an imagination and apparently, he really liked cookies.


Once they were in the car, Elizabeth turned to Neal. "Neal, do you remember what Peter said when you asked him if you could have a cookie after I had already told you no? Remember how we talked about the fact that you manipulated him to get what you wanted? Well, sweetie, that's exactly what you did today to the other kids at your table. You manipulated and scared them into giving you their cookies. Do you understand why that was wrong, Neal? "

"I didn't mean to make them cry, Lizbef, and I told them I was sorry. I was just using my magination like Miss Summer told us to. She said that using your magination was good for your brain and that it helped you to get smarter. I just thought that I could help my brain and my stomach at the same time by using my magination to get more cookies."

Elizabeth couldn't keep from smiling at that, but wanted to make sure that Neal understood why it was wrong to do what he did. "Using your imagination is good, sweetie, but not when it hurts someone else. You have to be careful. What you did was selfish, Neal. Don't you think that maybe your friends like cookies as much as you? How would you feel if someone manipulated you into giving up your cookie? That wouldn't be nice, would it?"

"I would never give up my cookie, Lizbef, no matter how good someone's magination was. I'm too smart for that, probably because I use my magination all the time. But, I won't do that again, I promise. I didn't like to see them cry. It made me sad."

After talking a few more minutes about the events of the morning, Elizabeth finally started the car. She felt reasonably sure that Neal would need to be reminded again that manipulation wasn't acceptable, but she also was reasonably sure that, overall, Neal didn't mean to hurt anyone. He really was a sweet child with a big heart.

As she pulled out of the parking lot, Neal spoke quietly from the back seat. "Lizbef? You're not going to make me tell Peter that I got in trouble, are you?"

"No, Neal, you've already been punished, so it's all done, okay? Now, where do you want to eat?"


Once Neal had told Peter all about his day, obviously leaving out the Great Cookie Caper, as Elizabeth called it in her head, they all took a walk to the park. Satchmo and Neal ran around the park, as Peter and Elizabeth watched from the park bench, amazed by the amount of energy held within the body of someone so small. Eventually, the boy and the dog stopped running, taking a few minutes to catch their breaths before starting up again. Neal didn't want to leave the park when Elizabeth said it was time to go home, but after a stern look from Peter, he stopped arguing. Elizabeth had to admit that she was impressed with how Peter dealt with Neal.

After dinner was over, Neal started to put up a bit of resistance at having to take a bath, but Elizabeth reminded him that he had some new toys to play with. Sending Peter up with Neal to take care of the bathing, Elizabeth quickly cleaned up the kitchen, before finally falling into her favorite armchair with a glass of wine. Taking care of a five year old was exhausting, but she had never been happier.


Peter was amazed at how much water Neal managed to spill out of the bathtub with every bath. He was also amazed at how much dirt came off of the kid with each bath. He let Neal play for almost twenty minutes, before insisting that he get washed up.

"Neal, you're fingers are turning into prunes. It's time to get cleaned up."

Neal inspected his fingers closely, before holding them up for the man to see. "No, they're not, Peter. They're still fingers, see?"

Peter laughed at that, causing Neal to give him a funny look. "It's just a saying, kid. It means your fingers are getting wrinkled."

Neal laughed at that. "You were using your magination, weren't you, Peter? Do you feel smarter?"

Peter had no idea what Neal was talking about.


In what had quickly turned into their nightly routine, Peter and Elizabeth tucked Neal into bed, and then Peter read him a story. That night's story was the book that Miss Summer had given to Neal, a book all about imagination. Neal loved the story so much that he wanted to write Miss Summer a thank you letter. Elizabeth told him that she would help him write the letter in the morning, but that it was time for him to go to sleep. Neal's denial of being tired was interrupted by a huge yawn and minutes later he was sound asleep. After watching him sleep for several long minutes, the two very tired adults finally retired to their own bedroom.

As had happened almost every night so far, Peter and Elizabeth were awakened by the sounds of Neal having a nightmare. They still had no idea what the dreams were about and they were growing more and more concerned with each passing night.

Peter told Elizabeth to stay in the bed, even though he knew that she would follow him anyway. They would definitely have to start taking turns, ensuring that at least one of them got enough sleep occasionally. Stepping into Neal's room, they found Neal sitting up in his bed, crying out for his mother. Elizabeth's heart hurt at the sound of complete anguish coming from the small boy. She immediately went to Neal and gathered him up into her arms, as she called out softly for him to wake up.

Neal always looked particularly confused when he first woke up from a nightmare. He would look around the room, trying to figure out where he was, before his eyes would finally land on Peter or Elizabeth. After several minutes, he would completely wake up and cling to whoever happened to be holding him, as he tried to calm himself down. No matter how often this happened, it never seemed to get easier for any of them.

For some reason, whatever nightmare Neal had just experienced seemed to be one of the worst yet. He cried in Elizabeth's arms for what seemed like hours to her, until finally he was able to stop. Looking up at her with his big blue eyes, Neal asked her a question that nearly broke her heart. "Lizbef? Why did my mommy leave me? Was she mad at me?"

Elizabeth looked at Peter, before turning back to Neal. "Oh, sweetie…..no! Your mommy loved you very, very much and she didn't want to leave you. She was sick, Neal, and she had to go, even though she wanted to stay with you more than anything. She was so proud of you."

During the process of vetting William and Jenna Miller, Peter and Elizabeth had learned that Neal's mother had died of leukemia when he was only four years old. Elizabeth didn't know for sure that any of what she told Neal was true, but she felt in her heart that it was, for no other reason than the fact that she really couldn't fathom how any mother wouldn't love a child like Neal.

Neal continued to stare into Elizabeth's eyes, searching intently for the answer he wanted. "Are you going to leave me, Lizbef? Like my mommy and Jenna did?"

Elizabeth clutched him tightly to her, unknowingly making it hard for him to breathe. "Not if I have any control over it, sweetie. I'll never willingly leave you, and Peter and I will do whatever we have to do to always be here for you, okay?"

Neal didn't answer her, but she felt his head nod yes. After a few seconds, however, he spoke. "Lizbef? I can't breathe. You're holding all my breath in."

Elizabeth loosened her grip on the boy and placed a kiss on the top of his head. "Is that better, sweetie? Can you breathe now?"

Neal took in a deep breath, then dramatically let it back out. "That was a close one, Lizbef. I almost saw my wife pass before my eyes."

Peter and Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh at the way Neal repeatedly messed up common sayings, finding it extremely adorable.

"We certainly wouldn't want that to happen, would we, El?" Peter said with a smile.


Author's note: Another fluffy chapter, but don't worry…..I don't think it's going to last. I think we're all in for a bumpy ride, so fasten your seatbelts, boys and girls.

How did you all like the chapter? What did you think of the thwarted Great Cookie Caper? Neal has quite the imagination, doesn't he? And he really does love his cookies!

Thanks for reading, everyone. I hope you enjoyed the chapter.