A/N This might be a hard chapter to read,as some of the abuse and molestation are discussed,it is only make-believe and my way of working through some inner demons,if it is going to upset you skip this chapter,you can still follow the story through the others.

"I'm sorry,father! I'm so sorry!...Please mom! Make him stop!...I will be good! I will be good!" The relentless dream kept on plaguing Tim and he kept on begging earnestly for forgiveness in his dreams,but none was forthcoming. He could feel each whiplash fall on his small shoulders as if it was happening now at this moment in time,he curled up into a tight ball,hoping to escape the physical as well as emotional pain. The hard reality was that there was no escape,because in a child's eyes his parents are God,they are the ones who are responsible to love,punish and care for their helpless children.

In the shadows of the dream,stood the Monster who took Tim's innocence,his mocking and triumphant laugh resounded through the room,his prey was never going to forget what was done to him,and he would always own a piece of little Timmy's soul.

Gibbs held onto the scared and sobbing man in his arms,the cruel dream once again returned in the early morning hours before dawn. He felt helpless and angry at the fact that those who were supposed to have helped the scared,violated boy failed him so miserably and whipped the self-hatred and shame into his small ,frail body. If he could have taken the burden away from the gentle man, he was holding,he would instantly have agreed,but now he could only stand on the sideline and watch.

Tim awoke with the strong, warm arms around him,he tensed in fear but relaxed when the soothing,kind voice of the man he trusted most in life ,drained through to his panicked mind. He felt safe in the caring arms and melted in to it,soaking up the comfort,his heart starved for love and acceptance. The pain and fear started to leak out of his mouth,like a ripe abscess bursting open and puss draining out. For the first time he told another person what happened.

Gibbs held Tim and listened to the words and broken sobs Tim uttered,he was helpless to say anything that would help the younger man through the pain,he could just hold him,silent tears running down his own cheeks.

"While he kept me...the only thing I wished for...was,was going home and seeing my parents again,he ….he ,made me do stuff...promising if I did...that I would get to go home...I didn't want to at first...but I needed to see them again...needed my father,to,to...hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay." Tim was sobbing, clutching desperately onto Gibbs's t-shirt,he wanted to tell Tim that he didn't need to tell him what happened,but he knew the other man needed to do this,to drain some of the hurt and pain from his soul,but it was the hardest thing he ever did in his life.

"But...but...but,when I got home...everyone was so angry and disappointed...no-one wanted to touch me,my father did not hold me! Sometimes I wished...wished I died there ,in that dark...cold room...he kept me. My father whipped me...telling me everything...everything was my fault,that...that...sodomy was a sin against God,the FBI showed him the tapes that he made...my father...saw me begging...for it...for him to f...ff..uck...me,but I...did it,because I wanted to go home...he promised that the pain would stop...that,I would get water...food...OH GOD!OH GOD! …..I didn't want to...it hurt so much...I had to!"

Tim stopped sobbing ,looking with big begging eyes at his boss,"Please,please you have to believe me? I had to do it to get away from the pain and to go home! I DID NOT ENJOY IT!"

Gibbs was so angry,Tim should never have been made to believe that anything that happened was his fault."Tim,it wasn't your fault,he manipulated you to beg,you did everything because you had no choice. I am proud of the way you survived and the man you have become,it took enormous courage to live through what you went through,you have nothing to be ashamed of."

Tim looked at his boss,trying to see if anything that he said was a lie,but he could only see the compassion and anger in his boss's eyes."Are you sure or are you just saying it,to make me feel better?",he still asked in fear.

"Tim I would never lie to you,please believe me when I say that you have nothing to be ashamed of and that everything that happened wasn't your fault."

Tim started to fiddle with the handful of t-shirt he was holding,his voice full of fear and doubt when he spoke again,his face turning bright red in shame. "There is something more...something I did...the way ,I am." Gibbs waited patiently for Tim to finish what he wanted to say.

"In college ..I met this guy...I..I …..sort of liked him,we ….we …...never did it,but we did kiss.",Tim stopped and sneaked a peek at his boss,fearing to see the disgust and revulsion he expected to see there.

"Tim,there is nothing wrong with having feelings for another man,I know your parents believe it is a sin,some people fear that which is unfamiliar to them. Everyone of us have the right to choose for ourselves whom we are going to fall in love with."

"You don't think it is because...of what happened when I was a child,that he corrupted my soul,that his evil rubbed off on me?"

Gibbs removed the hand that Tim was holding near his mouth,biting nervously on his fingernail,"No I think some of us are born that way,you can never be evil Tim,you are the most gentle and kindest man I know. I am not good with words and can not explain it to you in a clever or scientific way,but I'm sure this is something that you should discuss with Dr. Sweets. All I can say is that I also had a few male lovers through the years and I don't think it was a sin,in fact it was some of the best times I had in my life."

Tim looked in disbelieve at his boss."No! I would never have thought you would be interested in men,you are so strong and have three ex-wives."

Gibbs chuckled,when he saw Tim blush guilty after what he said,"It doesn't mean you are weak when you are gay and for me it never mattered if someone was male or female if I was attracted to them,I think I'm what you would call bi-sexual. Maybe you are also,because you did have a relationship with Abby."

"Boss the relationship with Abby never went well,I think she knows something is wrong with me,I totally lost it when she wanted to tie me up."

The well-known slap fell on Tim's head and he smiled."There is nothing wrong with you!"

Tim then took the biggest chance in his life,the one thing that could make him loose everything that he achieved and said softly,hesitantly,"I..I..think ….I have some...some feelings for you,Boss."

The joy rushed into Gibbs's heart,he always knew Tim was brave,"I think I have some feelings for you also."

They lay there looking in wonder at each other,their hearts filling with hope."I want us to take everything very slowly,I made an appointment at Dr. Sweets to talk to him about it,we can do it together if you want to,I don't want to do anything that could hurt you or bring back bad memories for you. Tim you are special to me and I don't want to loose you."

Tim once again showed just how brave he really was and asked shyly,"Can..can I kiss you?"

"Oh,God! Yes,Tim!" Tim softly brushed his lips against Gibbs's eager lips,it was like a small prelude to what was going to follow later. It was only a small action,but it made both men shiver in anticipation.