Chapter Seven
When I got in the house the party was still going strong. Everything was the same as I left it except everyone was drunker. I headed upstairs immediately; I didn't really feel like talking to anyone or running into Dally. Tim stopped me on my way upstairs.
"Dally's looking for you," he warned me "he's really mad." I thanked Tim for the heads up and told him I was fine then went upstairs. I just felt like going to sleep.
Dally wasn't up there, thank God, so I got into pyjama's and Soda's jacket and crawled up in bed. He wouldn't like that he had to sleep on the floor again but I didn't care. I lay there and thought about Soda. I pulled the jacket on tighter and sighed. What was going on with me? I had never felt about anyone like this. I couldn't wait to see him again.
Then a scary thought came into my head. I was going to have to tell Soda that he shouldn't be with me. I told every guy I was ever with because it's only fair to them that they get fair warning that I'm going to hurt them. I always do. I couldn't imagine myself hurting Soda ever, but then again, I couldn't imagine myself with just one guy, even if it was Soda. I tried to revise my speech, the one I told any guy who started to like me.
"Soda, I know you really like me, and I like you too but there are some things you should know about me. I am not good at relationships. I cheat and I'm really bad at emotional stuff. I want to be with you, but I don't think we should be together. If you want to then of course we will, but I'm telling you now, that you don't want us to be, because if we are, you're probably going to get hurt."
That basically sums up what I usually tell them. I thought it over again in my head. I just couldn't say that to Soda. I can't let him know how bad of a person I really am, I would feel awful and I know he would leave me. I can't say that to him. If I do it has to be before he talks to Dally, so that if he makes the right decision and leaves, then he won't even have to deal with Dally. I flinched at the thought of what his reaction might be to me saying I cheat. I hated that I had to do this, but I just couldn't imagine me changing the way I am. Not for anyone, not even Soda. It was the right thing to do to tell him, so that he has the option to get out before he gets too far in.
Why did I even care? I have said this to a million different guys and never gave it a second thought. Why did I care so much what Soda would think of me? Why did I care so much about him? I tugged his jacket up towards my face and breathed in. Oh yeah, that's why. Because every time I got near him I felt different, happy, comfortable.
I must have dosed off thinking about him, but was awoken by Dally thumping around the room. He was drunk, really drunk, and didn't seem to care he was making a lot of noise. He knew I was laying there, I could hear him grumbling about sleeping on the floor. I just kept my eyes shut and pretended to sleep because it wasn't worth my time to tell him to hush. As soon as he hit the floor he was out.
The next morning when I woke up, Dally was still sound asleep on the ground. I got up and went downstairs to make some breakfast. There was nothing in the fridge and nothing in the cupboards... well nothing that wasn't expired anyways. I sighed; figures there wouldn't be any food. I did find some aspirin and poured a glass of water for Dally though. I needed to talk to him and I figured now would be a good time since he wouldn't yell due to a hangover.
He came down the stairs a little while after me and sat down at the table. I sat on the other side of it. He looked like shit. Perfect. That meant no yelling. I handed him the pills and water. He glanced at me once then took them.
"We need to talk," I told him. He just looked at me and didn't say anything. "I know you're my brother and everything, but I just got here. I have lived on the tough side of New York for years and I know how to handle myself-" he tried to cut me off but I raised my voice and that made him flinch from what I'm sure was a killer headache "-and I am not okay with you acting like you're the boss of me." I finished. He looked up at me and groaned.
"Look, Jen, I know you don't like being told what to do, believe me, I don't either, it's just that... well... your my little sister," he sighed. I realized this was hard for him. I had come to notice that Dally and I both tried our best to hide from feeling real emotions. We didn't like loving or anything like that, but the difference between us was that when we did feel those things-which was rare-I could explain it and talk about it better then he could. It was probably because I was a girl.
"Could you maybe try to cool it off just a bit Dally? I mean we both know Soda's a good guy, better for me then most of the hoods around here," I tried to wear him down a little.
"Yeah, I guess so, but he better not mess with you!" he threatened, pointing his finger at me. I smiled.
I turned to go out and see Soda, now it was time for the hard conversation. I took a deep breath and prepared myself. I thought it was kind of funny that I was not afraid to have a difficult talk with Dally, but going to see Soda right now terrified me. My mind raced the whole walk over to his house.
Author's Notes:
I'm really trying to keep Dally in character, but also show he cares about Jenny. Please review and let me know what you think so far!
