Chapter 7
What the hell is taking her so long?
Ichigo grumbled to himself, as he sat at his desk pretending to study while glancing frequently at his open window. He shook his head and tried to focus his attention back to his book when he noticed something enter his room.
"So this is where the brat lives." Renji drifted in through the wall and stepped down on the floor as he scanned Ichigo's room. " I really don't get what she sees in this place."
Startled, Ichigo nearly fell out of his chair, but he quickly regained his composure and began yelling. "You! Why are you here? What is with you shinigami and waltzing into other people's houses like you own the place!" Ichigo demanded irately.
Renji glanced at Ichigo, noticing him for the first time, and studied him up and down. With a smirk he drew his zanpaktou and pointed it towards Ichigo. "I believe we have a fight to finish."
Rukia walked into the shop where she was ushered into a private room with a small table. Seating herself on the floor across from Urahara, neither spoke while Tessai came in with a bottles of sake and two small cups. When he left Rukia suddenly felt very awkward.
"How have you been doing, Kuchiki-san?" Urahara asked politely while filling her cup.
"As well as I could be, considering that a greedy salesman sold me a product that will kill me," she answered coolly, downing the liquid in one sip
"Ah," Having no good way to respond to that, Urahara cleared his throat and poured her another cup. "So.. tell me, how is Abarai-kun faring?"
Rukia turned her face away and shrugged. "I don't know. I don't really care."
Urahara cocked his head to the side questioningly. "If I remember correctly the two of you were very close. You both came from the Rukongai and entered the Academy together, did you not?"
"Things are not the same as they used to be. He's a vice-captain now."
"So I have been informed, though I hardly see how that's at all relevant. So why did he come to pay you a visit?" Urahara asked happily.
Rukia looked up across the table and regarded him guardedly, "You ask questions to which you already know the answer. He came to bring me back to Soul Society."
"Ah, I see. But the real question here lies in whether or not you want to go."
"I- of course, I must go back."
Urahara opened his fan up and completely blocked Rukia from being able to see his face. "I said the question is whether you want to, not must you," he stated, almost teasingly. "If you were intent on leaving, then why are you still here? Shouldn't you have left with Abarai-kun already?"
"I had.. things.. to take care of."
"Such as..?"
"Such as figuring out how a vice captain seems to know the plight and location of a gigai that would be otherwise untraceable." Rukia watched him over the rim as she drank another cup of sake.
Urahara, suddenly realizing his perilous position, raised both hands innocently in the air, "Abarai-kun came and asked about you, and I merely told him all that I knew. I meant to tell you directly but he so graciously offered to tell you himself, I could hardly refuse."
"He.. he asked you about me? What did you tell him?" she asked, trying hard to sound nonchalant about it.
"For someone who claimed they didn't care, you seem awfully curious now." He was taunting her, Rukia realized as she gripped her cup tightly and considered throwing it at him. Urahara didn't even flinch under her death glare, but he was smart man and he knew when to change the subject. "Ah, well we shouldn't worry our pretty heads over that matter, should we?" he said flippantly as he poured more sake into their cups.
They both drank in an uncomfortable silence that was finally broken when Urahara leaned forward across the table. "So tell me, Kuchiki-san, have you told Abarai-kun yet?"
"Tell him what?" Rukia raised a brow questioningly as she took another long sip of sake.
"Have you told him that you love Kurosaki-kun?"
"What did you say?"
"You heard me, I came here to finish our last fight" Renji sneered, swinging his sword as he spoke.
"Hey! Stop waving that thing in my face!" Ichigo backed away from the tip that was dangerously close to his nose. "I'm still in my human form and I don't even have a weapon! That's cheating!"
"Fool! It's called being prepared! Always be prepared! Why, are you scared?"
"I'm not scared of you!"
"That's why your hair is that color, because you're a big chicken! Bawk bawk!" Renji taunted him by flapping his arms.
Ichigo's hand curled into a fist and his lip curled into a smirk. "Idiot! And what about you? Hiding behind your big bad sword? Trying to compensate for something, eh?" He held up his hand and beckoned him to come forward, "Fight like a real man."
Renji threw down his sword and crossed the room in a flash, holding up Ichigo by his shirt collar. Ichigo in turn grabbed on to Renji's robe and held his fist in front of his face threateningly. They stayed in that position, neither one wanting to be the first to back down. Ichigo could hear Don Kanonji's laugh booming on the television and his family chattering downstairs. Finally, their eyes met and they both let go of each other at the same time, but they didn't let their guard down. In the confines of Ichigo's small room they circled around each other and sized up their opponent.
"If we're going to do this, we have to stay in here and keep quiet. My family is downstairs." Renji nodded but when Ichigo lunged towards him he leapt back and raised up his hands.
"Wait, wait. Don't hit the face. If Rukia sees it, she might kill both of us." Ichigo had to agree that Renji had good reasoning so he gave a curt nod and prepared to attack once again. But when he moved forward, Renji moved to the side and out of the way again.
"Wait.."
"What now!" Ichigo shouted, annoyed with the constant delay.
"It's just, I got a new tattoo on my right arm. So no hitting there either."
Ichigo tilted his head and thought for a moment. Not hitting the right arm was a good idea considering that he had to use it for everything from writing and eating to killing hollows. "Okay. Face and right arm are off limits."
"Well actually.." Renji began before he was interrupted by a kick on his butt.
"You talk to much!" Ichigo growled, doubling over a few moments later as Renji returned with a low punch to his stomach.
The scuffle ensued, neither one gaining the upper hand. Blows were thrown, received, and blocked until both were exhausted and gasping for breath. Half an hour later Renji and Ichigo lay on their backs an arms length away from each other on the floor.
"Come.. a little closer.. I'll kill you.." Renji managed to say between gasps for air.
Every part of his body felt sore, but Ichigo turned his head to sneer at his opponent. "Why, are you afraid of coming towards me now?"
"I can still whip your ass, rookie."
"Yeah, right.. come and get it" Ichigo replied. They continued to taunt each other but neither one attempted to sit up, when Ichigo noticed how silent the house was. Not even the sound of the TV..
Suddenly his door was thrown open and two small heads poked in. Ignoring his aching stomach he struggled to an upright position and faced the door. "I told you guys to knock!"
"But onii-chan, we just wanted to know if you wanted anything to drink and then we heard voices so we wanted to see if onee-chan was here." Yuzu pouted and looked around curiously, "But no one is in here. Who were you talking to?"
"Yeah, oh that, uh.. I was just practicing reading out loud." Ichigo stammered. Grabbing the nearest book, Ichigo opened it and began reading the first line he saw. "Stay here tonight, I promise I'll be gentle.." his voice trailed off as he realized that the next scenes were very inappropriate. There was a period of uncomfortable silence; Ichigo embarassed to be caught with Rukia's romantic manga, and his sisters shocked at the fact that he read them.
"All right then," Karin said flatly, "let's go downstairs and leave them alone." Her comment startled Renji into sitting up and watching her carefully. But when her eyes swept across the room her gaze seemed to go right through him.
"The brat spoke like she could actually see me," he growled as the girls filed out of the room. Karin paused abruptly and sent him such a cold stare over her shoulder that it made Renji feel as if his blood had turned to ice. He hadn't felt this way since the time when he had made the mistake of teasing Hinamori in front of Hitsugaya. He hadn't able to feel his hands for a week.
"Man, who reads this kind of junk?" As soon as Karin closed the door behind her, Ichigo narrowed his eyes down at the manga and threw against the closet before he turned back to Renji. "Hey, why are you still here? Go home."
"Is that any way to treat a guest?"
"What? How are you my guest? You barged in here on your own!"
Renji got to his feet and flopped onto Ichigo's bed. "But I'm still in your room, aren't I? Hey, get me a drink, will ya?"
"I'm going to go get myself a drink. You better be gone when I get back." Muttering something about 'shinigami freeloaders' under his breath he left his room. When he returned he found Renji still stretched out on bed, like he suspected he would be, and he hurled the juice box at his head. Renji just opened one eye and caught the box in midair.
"What's this?"
"Juice."
"I know that, stupid," Renji lied. "But by drink, I meant sake, or at least tea. Who the hell drinks juice after a fight?"
"Sake? Do you even know how old I am? I'm still underage!"
"You think I care?" Renji just shook his head and stared down the juice box. Shaking and squeezing it seemed to do nothing. He kept glancing back and forth between his and Ichigo, who had finished off his one gulp. After a battle of his pride against his thirst, Renji thrust his box in front of Ichigo's face and looked away. "Hey, how do you work this thing?"
"You're such a dumbass, you don't even know how to use a straw?" Ichigo rolled his eyes as he grabbed and stuck the straw in. Renji snatched it back and inspected it cautiously before he drank from it. "Jeez, you're just like Rukia."
At the mention of her name the tension in the room thickened and the two guys remembered why they started fighting in the first place. Renji leapt to his feet and in a blink of an eye he had Ichigo pinned against the wall. "Don't throw around her name so carelessly. How well do you think you know her to be calling her by that? It should be Kuchiki-sama to a lowly human like you."
Ichigo shoved him away and grabbed Renji's shoulder, reversing their positions. "And what about you? Why are you here? You've done nothing but upset her since you came!"
"Fool! Do you really think that she is happy here? She can't even leave because she feels obligated to you!"
"What? Leave?" The news hit him harder than than any physical blow Renji could have thrown. Has Rukia wanted to leave this entire time? Ichigo was taken aback by the news and stared at Renji incredously. "Where is she going?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer.
"The North Pole," Renji replied sarcastically, bonking Ichigo on the head. "Where do you think? Soul Society, you shithead."
Ichigo pushed Renji away from him and stared at his closet in a daze. "I- Why can't she just stay?"
"She probably would, if you asked her to." He answered bitterly, and knowing Rukia's personality, Renji knew he couldn't make her do otherwise. "That's why you can't ask."
"And why shouldn't I? She has people who care about her here!" I care about her, Ichigo realized, with a lump in his throat. The wrinkle in his brow deepened as he thought about it. He knew he was sounding immature and selfish, but he didn't really care.
"Do you think nobody cares about her in Soul Society?" Ichigo's eyes raised and met Renji's and was surprised to see that they mirrored his own. He had never even considered that there were others waiting for Rukia, that she had other friends and family that expected her to return. Does she want to see them too? Ichigo remembered the look in her eyes when she talked about Renji and the Chappy doll earlier that day, and he knew that she did.
"If she stays here, she will live and die as a human. Your short pitiful lives are nothing to us shinigami. Do you really want to put her through that?" Renji demanded, never taking his eyes off Ichigo's. "Can you live happily knowing that you are the one responsible for her death?" With a parting shove, Renji walked over to the window and prepared to jump out.
Ichigo didn't answer and just stared wordlessly at the floor. After a second thought, Renji turned back around and marched back to the closet. "I'll take this," he announced to no one in particular, picking the discarded manga up and sticking it in his robes before exiting once more.
Unknowingly, Renji's words stabbed Ichigo right were it hurt, and he felt a wrenching in his gut as he thought about his own mother. The first image that popped into Ichigo's head was his mother smiling brightly as she hugged her family. He could see his father, Karin, Yuzu, all beaming up at her, as if her radiant smile had lit up the entire room. Now, nobody was able to smile like they had once used to. He couldn't even remember the last time they had all laughed together. I was the one responsible for that, for their unhappiness. Clenching his fist, Ichigo made his decision. He wouldn't repeat the past mistakes, he would not hurt the people he cared about again.
Have you told him that you love Kurosaki-kun?
In surprise, Rukia choked on the sake in her mouth and the liquid sprayed out of her mouth, all over the store owner in front of her. Glad that he was wearing a hat as a cover, Urahara took it off and waved it to dry while Rukia recovered. When she finally got over her intial shock, he put the hat back on and waited for the onslaught that was sure to come.
Sure enough, after Rukia wiped her mouth with a handkerchief, she slammed her fist onto the table and shouted over the table. "N-no! Why would I do something like that?"
"Oh? I thought Kurosaki-kun was a friend of yours."
"Don't play games with me, Urahara," she warned crossly.
"Ah," he took the time to pour more sake and leaned back before he spoke again, "then I beg to differ. Don't forget, I was there when that rash young fellow went after the Menos Grande. The look on your face was hard to ignore."
"I was just concerned about his safety. I needed him to continue my shinigami duties until I recovered," she replied stiffly. "Besides, whether I hate him or love him.."
For a moment, her words failed her and she turned her face away so that Urahara could not see her falter. Blaming it on the alcohol, Rukia took a deep steadying breath and continued what she was saying. "..it doesn't really matter. Love, friendship, all those things are just unnecessary emotions that are to be left behind when I return to Soul Society. I have no need for those kind of attachments."
"And how much longer are you going to use that as your excuse?" he demanded. His voice lost all playfulness that it held before and she felt as if his words cut straight into her soul. "Why do you continue lying to yourself?"
"Because I.." there was a hint of sadness in her eyes as she spoke, "I am a shinigami. And emotions make you weak."
"Yes, I suppose you could say that," he mused, almost to himself as he took of his hat and placed it carefully on the table. Propping his elbows on the table, he leaned forward and stared directly into her eyes. "You came here because you wanted to know why I gave you this particular gigai, am I right?"
She nodded and Urahara glanced down at the table thoughtfully. "Did you ever hear why I was exiled from Soul Society?"
"No," Rukia glanced up sharply at him, "I've heard rumors, but never anything I believed to be true."
"Ah, smart girl," Urahara kept his eyes fixed on the table, "always questioning what is really the right thing to do. If only.. if only I had been like you when I was younger, many many years ago."
It was a weird feeling for Rukia to see him so serious and talking retrospectively. She knew very little of his past, she realized as they both drank another cup. "When I was still just a young officer, and quite the charmer I might add, I was the shinigami responsible for this region, including the town of Karakura. Yes," he added as Rukia started slightly, "just as you are now. Except back then, it was not much of a town."
"I arrived at the location of the hollow, and I happened upon a certain miko," Urahara smiled to himself as he looked back, "and after I destroyed the hollow, she tried to purify me. I stayed under the pretext of protecting her from the hollows, and needless to say, we became quite good friends. The year after that, I would always find excuses to come back, and my visits more frequent and extended for weeks at a time. But I started to notice that she was getting older, while I.. I looked not even a day older from when we had first met."
Urahara paused and, giving up on the tiny cup, drank straight from the sake bottle. "The more I switched back and forth between Soul Society and the human world, the more I realized that I wasn't really living in either. It was then that I was promoted to a seat in my division and they expected me to stay in Soul Society, while someone else was assigned to this town."
"So what did you do?" Rukia stared at him wide-eyed, listening carefully to every word.
"I did what I was expected to do, I went back to Soul Society. I threw myself into work and advanced to become Captain, always making the excuse that I was too busy to go back. I finally did go, not knowing that it would be the last time." He sighed and shook his head to himself, "She was an old woman by then, could barely even walk anymore. And she couldn't recognize, she didn't even remember me."
There was a long break as he took a swig from the bottle, lost in his thoughts. "After that, I was constantly living my life in a shadow. The rest of my years at Soul Society felt meaningless, my title became worthless to me. And then I knew, there had to be something that would be worth living for. So I threw myself into research to develop a gigai.. your gigai."
"Its humbling to know that even if you are not in this world, it keeps moving on. And eventually every memory, no matter how cherished, will fade and vanish." He gazed out the slightly open door at Jinta and Ururu playing with each other. "Don't make the same mistakes of this lowly shopkeeper, who has just now learned what it means to live."
He looked up for the first time since he had started speaking and met her eyes. His hat had always hidden his eyes from hers, but now she felt as if she were seeing the real Urahara Kisuke behind the cheerful façade. And she understood now, that in a sense he had given her a gift. He was offering to her the gift of choice, to choose the life she wanted to live.
Urahara lowered his eyes and bowed his head to her. "I truly apologize, Kuchiki-san, for giving it to you without your consent."
Rukia looked away and thought of the times that she had spent in Karakura waiting for her powers to return. The few months were memories that she treasured, and she was grateful that she would take them with her as she left. "Don't apologize," she said gently, "I gained much from being here. But.. I would like to know one thing. Why me? I'm such a weak shinigami. You should have given it to someone stronger, who really deserved it."
"When I first saw you and Abarai-kun come straight from the Rukongai, I knew you two were different. Both of you were nervous, as anyone else would be, but you never allowed yourself to show it. Although you may not see it yourself, you are strong in spirit Kuchiki-san, and others around you draw on that strength. That is all the reason I need."
She was silent for a moment, and when his eyes met hers and she nodded her head slightly. "Thank you."
Urahara broke out into a smile and plopped his hat back on his head. Holding up another bottle of sake his voice reverted back to its usual liveliness. "What a dull party this has become. Let's get it started, shall we?"
A/N: I'm so sorry this chapter took so long! It was so hard to write! I tried really hard to keep everybody in character, but I don't think I succeeded (especially with Urahara's character) A big giant THANK YOU! to everybody who has reviewed, I'm glad ya'll enjoy the story! I promise the next chapter will come out sooner (and hopefully better). Please leave a comment or criticism, it will be greatly appreciated!
