Chibi: Noodle, I didn't know having a few good reviews would turn you into a whip cracking slave driver! A litmus, or even a litMOOSE doesn't deserve this! (sob)
Noodle: ¬¬ whatever. I wouldn't be impatient if you didn't take four hours to edit the grammar and make it sound better. Thanks once again to all the reviewers!

Conclusion to the madness so far! It all breaks down at the snail race!

This one's slightly different, just to get the snail races out of the way, there will be more answer machines in the next chapter, i'm working on Orochimaru's.
Note: I'm having to reload this chapter because my pc doesn't understand the SAVE button, meaning I put the unedited version on.

Today was the day of the snail races. Shino did turn up in the end, Temari
didn't, and Tenten couldn't imagine why not. Kakashi had been forced to come due to the rivalry against Gai secretly burning in his soul. Unfortunately, that means Lee and Gai did turn up; so they were creating as much noise as possible. Gai was challenging Kakashi over whose snail would win and Lee was ringing Neji to come over, loudly, so he was beaten up by the angry crowd.

Sakura was stood by the cake, looking as if she was watching out for somebody, but trying to be discreet. Sasuke was doing the same, but he was sat up in a tree giving his I'm-Mr-Sexy-And-I-Want-To-Kill-My-Brother look to the fangirls he was hiding from. There was somebody with a paper bag on their head with Shikamaru and Chouji, too. They seemed a little mad, holding the extra bags barbeque for Chouji like it was a chore, with one hand on their hip.

"I'm here." Tenten turned to see Neji stood there, with a huge bag on his
back. It was bigger than Gaara's gourd and the HUGE cake combined. Gourd cakes… oh, wait, Gaara made some of those a little while ago..

"What's the bag for?" Tenten innocently asked.
"BROOMS!" He squealed and gave her a maniac grin, the one that would only appear this time of the year. The annual broom fight was three days away and he got all the more insane the closer the fight got. She wondered which Neji she would prefer in a pink and yellow ducky swimsuit . He ran off
with his byakuugan activated, and before Tenten could innocently ask why, the snail races began.
"GO HERBERT!" She yelled, jumping up and waving a Herbert the snail flag.
"GO HARRY!" Gai waved a Harry the snail flag, and then did a "sexy" dance in Kakashi's face.
"Yay... Snails…" Kakashi said in a bored voice, trying not to look at Gai's gyrating bottom, waving his flag slowly and reading his book.

Neji bounced past the cake and Sakura. Her mighty fists of doom grasped him by the collar, yanking him back mid-bounce.

"Are you going to get my underwear back or what!" Sakura gave him a pissed
off woman look, something her teacher had taught her to do, especially where underwear was involved.

"Show me the brooms." Replied Neji happily, despite how terrifying Sakura was.

"Fine, fine." Sakura sighed, and handed him six brooms from the floor.
"I LOVE YOU." Neji grinned.

"No you don't!" She waved a fist threateningly.
"You're right, but there is still one part of the deal..." Neji trailed off expectantly.

"I'll give you a hug, IF you get my underwear from that eyebrow less prick." Sakura replied.

"No." Neji smiled like a triumphant toddler. "No." Sakura blanched.
"What! MY KNICKERS!"

"I won't do it without huggy!" Neji insisted

"Rassum frassum sassum… " She grumbled, and hesitantly hugged him. After he skipped away happily to complete his mission, the remainder of the Hyuuga Neji fan-club jumped out from underground.
"GET HER." They charged at her. Big mistake.

"Sasuke give me SUPER brooms or I'll tell everyone over the loudspeaker
about your pink shower cap, and how you dance naked in your house."
"How did you know I dance naked!"
"Your brother told me."
"WHAT, YOU SPOKE TO HIM! THERE'S NO WAY I'LL GIVE YOU BROOMS!"
"Fine then." He skipped off to the loudspeaker.
"SHIT!" Sasuke cursed, and jumped down from the tree, brooms in hand.

"Tenten, If I don't make it from here to the cake and back with fifteen
pieces of cake then I must eat 1,000 sour skittles all at once!"
"Yeah, good luck with that Lee. GO HERBERT YOU CAN DO IT YOU'VE GONE 5CM!"
Lee merrily ran as fast as he could to the cake, not knowing of the THING
which would strike. As Lee made the first cut into the cake, it started
collapsing… Somebody was jumping out! Jumping out covered in pink icing with a tub of hair removal wax in his hands was………… GAARA!

"What are you doing in there!" exclaimed Lee.
"I'm HERE FOR Y..." Gaara collapsed in a fit of hacking coughs, and after producing a miniature snail form the back of his throat, he continued "YOUR EYEBROWS."
"NOOOO, NOT MY EYEBROWS, SOMEBODY SAVE ME!" Lee howled in only the dramatic way the Lee or his sensei could, with waves crashing and sunsets and stuff.

"Everybody, guess what! Sasuke wears a pink shower cap dancing in front of the mirror every day! Sometimes naked and sometimes in a dalek costume! Even ask his older brother, who is on the phone right now!" Neji's voice blasted from the loud speaker.

Then, Itachi's evil (yet pretty) voice came out over the loudspeaker.
"IT'S TRUE YOU KNOW! Once he was doing it in a Dipsy costume! I have it on video if anyone wants it! When I'm supposed to be spying on Naruto, I spy on all his friends too! Which means Sasuke! He dances all day sometimes. And Deidara told me that a certain Gaara of the Desert has a fetish for knickers, mainly silk and some lace! He likes Haruno Sakura's the best but that's so gross! I know (because I'm such a good and pretty spy) that sometimes she wets herself! Also that girl Ino secretly goes round to Shikamaru's house and Chouji's to kick them in their sleep then she runs away. Rock Lee was the one who killed Tenten's hamster, he threw it into a tree mistaking it for a kunai somehow! It's those eyebrows I swear, they must limit his vision, I mean COME ON! Ninja's need perfect vision! Kisame, if you don't stop making remarks about me being blind I will get somebody to turn you into soup!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!" A pitiful voice rang out across the race stadium.

" GASP! Lee's just had his eyebrows waxed by Gaara!" shouted someone from the crowd.

"IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HUUURTSSSS! GAI SENSEIIIII! HELP MEEE!"

"Lee! GASP! YOUR EYEBROWS! Come with me, dear boy, I will cure you!" Gai brandished a marker pen, and swept off to the ladies toilets (because they have better mirrors) with Lee.

"Good riddance! What other gossip, hehe, do I have! Ah yes, at night-time guess who licks Tenten's face as she sleeps! None other than our Ne..."Neji slammed the phone down then looked at the chaos.

Sakura was killing fangirls of his and Sasuke's, who joined in for some reason, maybe they were all part of the moody broody club.

Shikamaru and Chouji had taken the bag off of Ino's head and Gaara was trying to kill her because he thought she was the Loch Ness monster.

A newly-eyebrowed (with marker pen, so they were even thicker than before!) Lee was being beaten to death by Tenten, who was screaming "THIS IS FOR FLUFFY!"

Neji didn't care though. He just skipped off whistling with the brooms he got off Sakura.

He knew he was being followed by his stalker, but if she got too close he'd just kill her with a broom and drop her into a ditch. Like he did with that hobo that mistook him for a prostitute, what with his long flowing hair and all. That hobo offered him beans for his.. Services. Well, Neji has one other passion apart from killing the main house, can you guess what it is?

Chibi: My parrot is puking on things… He is disgusting. I want biscuits.
Noodle: We have fifty reviews, I'm happy. Slightly dumb too.
Spellchecker: Deidara is Deodar and Kisame is Kissimmee