A/N: Sorry about the late post - I had a couple of job interviews the last few days and a lot of changes at home. Bit of a shorter chapter, but I'll have another one post earlier next week.


Even though Kek knew Ryou was interested (hell that was the reason why he invited Kek over for dinner), he couldn't work up the nerves to text Ryou again. Their last date had been rather exciting and even overwhelming for Kek. He wasn't entirely sure what would happen next when they met up again.

Isn't that the whole point? That's the whole reason I started dating Ryou. Kek reprimanded himself, shaking his head in irritation. Now was not the time to start getting cold feet. He wasn't sure why he was so hesitant – he knew what he wanted and he could tell Ryou wanted it as well. Feeling Ryou's body against his, kissing Ryou until his lips burned with friction had been exhilarating.

Kek worried that it might all end.

Kek was used to life being shitty. He was used to dealing with the terribly dismal and depressing reality of the world. Ryou felt like a dazzling light, shining and radiating beautiful light with a snarky comment on the side. Kek hated that he was growing so close so quickly. He had shoved people away for so long that he had realized how starved he was for companionship. His relationship with Ryou was drastically different from everything he had known.

Kek shifted on his couch, unable to get comfortable. It was pointless. His own anxiety and frustration were consuming him. The closest thing he had to a friend in his life was Akefia, and even that was a stretch. And his family… Kek snorted at the thought. His relationship to his family was a joke. He had never known his mother, which was arguably the healthiest relationship of them. His siblings got a restraining order after their father's death. And their father…

Kek snarled, feeling a familiar wave anger and disgust. He hated thinking about that man. It had been six years since their father's death, and the thought still boiled Kek's blood. It disgusted him how he let that man not only hurt him but also his twin brother. His other siblings did nothing to stop it. Instead, Kek had to deal with the consequences of his senseless violence. He would wear the scars of the physical trauma for the rest of his life.

After their father's death, his family was furious and blamed him for the incident. The court ruled that it had been incidental and that it was their father's drunken behavior that resulted in the fall that took his life. Even with him gone and Kek torn away from his family, he withdrew into himself. In a way, he felt damaged and torn apart. He was exhausted by everything. The thought of anyone else touching him made him recoil.

That's why Kek felt confused by how welcomed Ryou's touch was. Sure kissing was fun as hell, but Kek was more startled how the soft, gentle touches did more to reach him than anything else. Each time Ryou took his hand, he became less of the monster his family made him out to be and more whole in a way he didn't know he desired. Every time Ryou looked at him with those warm eyes, Kek felt less like a broken victim and more like a slowly healing soul.

Ryou is turning me soft. Kek snorted, glaring at the wall. Visiting Ryou made him realize how empty his apartment felt. Sure, he had junk he had collected over the years, but Ryou had made his apartment his own space. It was a safe haven, welcoming and cozy despite how small it was. Kek never wanted to have people over, but after visiting Ryou, perhaps he could consider tidying up and making it more hospitable.

It probably wouldn't work, but whatever.

Kek needed a break from his confusing and conflicting thoughts. He glanced at the clock, noticing it was only three in the afternoon. Still late enough to go drinking. If Kek could have vodka in a mug for breakfast, there was no reason why he shouldn't drink now. He grabbed his keys, locking up his apartment as he went out to a nearby pub.


Kek stepped into the bar, noticing the stench of cigarette smoke as he entered. Despite the midday light streaming in, the pub managed to keep its dingy, dark vibe. Ahh. Home sweet home. Kek thought almost ruefully. As he passed by the few others parked in the pub, he went up to the bar, recognizing the blonde bartender. He ordered a nice, heavy draft, handing over some bills to Keith who pocketed them.

Kek took a long sip, closing his eyes as he reveled in the bitter ambrosia. He didn't place his drink down until a third was gone. He opened his eyes, staring down at the worn wood counters. He heard some American rock band playing over, though it muffled and muted. He flicked his eyes over to glance over at the other patrons, also wearing the same dead expression.

Kek sighed, hunching forward. This was his place of solace – this was home. Ryou made things confusing and difficult to deal with in a way. Being around Ryou was intoxicating and lovely. Even when he was being a snarky asshole, Kek felt more relaxed and comfortable around Ryou than anyone else in his life.

And that terrified him.

Kek knew that good things didn't last in his life. He never knew of any good things to ever stay around long. His life was one tragic event after another. He assumed this cycle would continue until he reached an early death. Ryou was nothing more than a short respite from this. There was no way that he could expect things to continue.

Eventually, Ryou would tire of Kek and see him for what he was. He would realize how dangerous and psychotic he was. He would learn things he wouldn't want to know about Kek and quietly leave Kek's life. Kek didn't want to deal with that. He didn't want to get attached, but he found himself quickly doing so. He hadn't realized how desperately he needed someone like Ryou in his life.

Kek hadn't realized how lonely he had been.

Kek sighed, leaning back slightly from the table. It was Ryou's fault for getting him into this entire mess. It was exhausting dealing with all of these conflicting emotions. It figures this kid would be some fucking siren, he mused, thinking of the Greek legend. Yes, Ryou had made things complicated, but Kek was the first one to do so. He furrowed his brow as he thought about a question that had been eating away at him.

Why had he confronted Ryou about the phone number?

At the time, Kek justified it by telling himself that he was trying to get a message across. Ryou didn't believe him though. Kek was too livid and short-tempered to have considered any other options. Ryou called him out on his bullshit. Kek had eventually come to the realization that Ryou was right. But that forced him to ask that uncomfortable question.

Ryou had been right when he initially met. If Kek hadn't wanted to see Ryou again, all he had had to do was ignore the phone number and throw away the cup. That would have solved the issue. He simply had to avoid that coffee shop again – no potential dates to pick up that way. He could continue about his miserable, lonely life. He had been rather good at managing it at this point.

Perhaps… he wanted to see Ryou again? Ryou had thought as much. He suspected that Kek was lonely and curious and suggested as much. Kek had brushed off the suggestion as merely stupid. In retrospect, he feared that Ryou had been spot on in his analysis. As stupid as the idea seemed, Kek felt even more ashamed for wanting something as silly as companionship.

Kek sighed, glancing down at his empty glass. He was in the middle of figuring out if he wanted more alcohol (most likely yes) when a familiar voice caught his ear. "Well, well, Mr. Ishtar. Isn't this a pleasant surprise?"

Kek growled, glancing over at the albino to his left. He sighed as he spotted that wicked smirk on his face. "What the fuck are you doing here, Akefia?"

Akefia just snorted, downing his shot glass before placing it on the table in front of him. "It's mid-afternoon during the work week. Where else am I supposed to go to get drunk?"

Kek thought about making some retort towards Akefia, but realized he didn't have any grounds to speak on. He ordered another drink, sensing that he would be around for a while. Akefia smirked, standing up a moment before wandering down the bar to plop down next to Kek.

"I see you had the same idea as myself. Don't tell me your date went horribly." Kek knew that Akefia was just trying to get a rise out of him. And goddamn it, it was working.

"Fuck you. Stay out of my personal life." Kek snarled, taking a long swig of his drink. Akefia just chuckled, shaking his head.

"Hell no. I was the one who told you to go on mission impossible. I want details." Kek snarled in frustration. He had half a mind to just ignore Akefia and drink in peace. But he also knew that Akefia was an impatient fuck who would keep pestering him until he got what he wanted.

How did I end up surrounding myself with annoying albinos?

All things considered, Ryou was far less of a pain than Akefia, Kek decided. He saw Akefia smirking at him, still waiting for an answer. Kek knew if he didn't start talking soon, then Akefia would keep badgering him. Kek sighed, staring at his glass to avoid the smirking asshole. "Things are fine. I've started seeing that barista."

"You actually took my advice? Miracles really do happen."

"Are you going to shut the fuck up or not?"

Akefia just shrugged, unrepentant. "So have you been able to blow off some steam yet or not?"

Kek sighed. "Not exactly. We've gone on two dates. I don't know if I want to go on a third one."

"Why? Is he an asshole?"

"Yeah, but that's not the problem. I deal with assholes all the time."

"What is he a prude or something? One of those demisexuals?"

Kek had no idea what the word demisexual meant, but he could deduce Akefia's meaning from his language. "No, it's not that, it's… it's complicated."

Akefia snorted, glancing away. He had a bemused look on his face. "There's nothing complicated about fucking. But then again, it's you, so I imagine you'd struggle with the mechanics of it all."

Kek realized it was easier to just desensitize himself to Akefia's comments than work up the energy to get riled up by him. It would make this conversation easier. Kek sighed, glaring at his glass as if it were the source of his problem. "It's not side… it's other stuff that comes with dating. Emotional stuff. I fucking suck at that."

Akefia didn't make a snarky remark at that, instead taking a sip of the drink the bartender placed in front of him. This surprised Kek, but he wasn't holding his breath that it would last. After Akefia placed his glass down, he stared at the wooden counter. "So it's less of a one-night-stand or more of an actual boyfriend?"

Kek didn't say anything, his thumb rubbing at smudge on the glass. He guessed Ryou would be his boyfriend. They were dating and did stuff and kissed – that's what boyfriends do, right? Kek hadn't thought of it that much in those terms, but now that Akefia put it out in the open… did Kek want a boyfriend?

Akefia downed his beer with surprising efficiency, turning to study Kek. "Worried you're getting in too deep with this kid?"

That was an understatement. "Obviously. I have a habit of hurting people in my life, in case you haven't noticed."

Akefia snorted, a small smile on his face. "Don't I know it. Alister's nose is still busted up pretty good. And if you're family history is anything like mine, I'm going to guess you are far from being on good terms with them."

Akefia is too smart for his own damn good. Kek preferred when Akefia left things unsaid. Akefia knew more than he let out. When Akefia ran his mouth and informed Kek of that, it unsettled him and put him on edge. It reminded him of unpleasant memories that he wasn't eager to bring up.

Akefia took Kek's silence as admission. Akefia turned around in his seat, resting his back up against the bar. He crossed his hands behind his head as he stared out at the mostly empty bar. "Well, since talking out loud to myself has been so gosh darn fun, I'll try my luck with one last question. Do you hate it?"

Kek furrowed his brows, thinking on the question. Did he hate it? After a few moments, Kek finally replied. "No, not really. It's uncomfortable, but… it's not bad, per say."

To his surprise, Akefia just laughed out loud. Kek snapped his head around, bewildered at the cackling albino. Akefia just grinned at Kek, unashamed. "When the fuck are you worried for? I say go for it until it's over."

Kek had no idea what Akefia was getting out. "The fuck?"

Akefia just shrugged, downing the rest of his drink before slamming it down on the counter. "This kid is alright in your book, correct? Not many people can claim that stake. That's pretty much you saying you really like the brat. So why not run with it for the time being?"

Kek raised an eyebrow, surprised by Akefia's encouragement. He figured Akefia would be his usual asshole-ish self and mock him for finding a boyfriend. "That's rich coming from you."

Akefia's smirk didn't change, but instead he propped an elbow against the bar, his sharp glint in his eyes. "I maybe an asshole, but I'm not stupid enough to pass up a good thing. We both know life's shitty. Why not embrace this break in life? Things will get worse eventually anyway so enjoy this little excursion while it's around. You'll break up eventually anyway, so why rush it all?"

Kek snorted. There was the dismal jackass he was used. At the same time, Akefia did have a point. Why worry about what would happen? When will come will come. May as well make the most of it for the time being. In a way, Kek felt a sense of relief, as if he received Akefia's blessing to go enjoy this peculiar good thing that entered his life.

That thought alone suddenly made Kek suspicious.

Kek turned around in his chair, facing Akefia directly. The albino said nothing, though he did raise an eyebrow waiting for Kek's response. Kek wasn't really sure what he was going to interrogate Akefia about, but his guard flared back up. "What's it to you? Why should I listen to you?"

Akefia kept smirking, cracking his neck as he glanced away. "I don't give a fuck whether you listen to me or not. But since you seem inclined to do so, I figured I'd give you some solid advice from my vantage point. No need to be so suspicious over everything."

Kek studied Akefia, trying to figure out if he was hiding something or withholding information. It's not like Akefia had anything to gain from Kek's suffering, but Akefia was also an asshole. So he got off on others people's pain. Kek snapped his head away, his expression angry and frustrated. "Then why I do feel like all of this is a goddamn trap?"

"Nice people are scary by nature. They do stupid things out of kindness. Personally, I call bullshit on it. Everybody wants something these days. I'm guessing that's the trap you're afraid of."

"Then how am I supposed to know what anyone is going to do? Why does everybody have to keep goddamn secrets?"

Akefia just laughed out loud. "Hate to break it to you, but you're not one to talk. Feel like taking a stroll down memory lane and telling me some of your secrets?"

Kek grimaced at the thought, looking away from his albino companion. Akefia took this as his cue to keep talking. "That's what I thought. Look – no point in worrying about something you can't control. People are going to do whatever the hell they want. Why shouldn't you do the same?"

Kek hated it when Akefia made sense. Part of him knew that their logic was flawed somewhere, but Kek didn't have the energy or patience to figure it out. He sighed as he leaned back on his stool. "So I'll keep taking a hiatus then, I guess. Dartz'll be pissed."

Akefia order another round of drinks for the two of them, handing a glass to Kek. "Fuck him anyway. Since when did you care what he thought about you?"

There Akefia went again, making too much sense. Kek smirked, clinking his glass before taking a swig, thought swarming in his mind as he took in his dark atmosphere around him.