A/N: This shows a darker side of Scorpius, I really thought it was necessary to show that he's not just some obsessed school-boy. He's a little bit more than that. I hold him close to me, I prefer writing in third person usually but I just can't with him. He's basically my child. Be as hard on him as you want, he's really not meant to be the hero (anti-hero? possibly).
RS/RS/RS
I didn't end up having one drink with Bree. I had a few (a few too many, I think), but that's where it ended. Neither of us were into each other last night, even with a drink in our system. I think that signified that we were as done, more finished than we ever have been before. It was for the best, really. Having two girls with a hold over me wasn't exactly the position I wanted to be in.
Neither was this. Half my body was hanging off the bed, which I happened to be sharing with Al, as mine wasn't there anymore, and my neck was in the most twisted position. I groaned, my head was pounding like it was banging to the beat of a thousand drums. I sat up, and for a moment I thought that Al wasn't even breathing. I heard him snore, though, so that was promising. I rolled my neck around for a good stretch, and looked over at my best mate.
"Morning, sunshine," I drawled. He was out, man. I guess I could've woken him up easily, done a light shake or something, but I was really hungover, and a blithering idiot. My dysfunctional thoughts led me to look for my wand, snatch it from crumpled bed sheets and push him off the bed. I don't know what came first, the disgruntled scream or the hard 'thud' on the floor.
"What the fuck," Albus snarled. "Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy."
"Ooh," I cooed. "I didn't know we were on a full name basis, love."
I had almost forgotten how much of a hatred Al had for being woken up, especially by my unconventional ways. A pillow was thrown at my head, a medley of swear words permeated the air, and I'm pretty sure Al hit the edge of his nightstand while trying to get on his feet. His hair was so disheveled, it rivaled his fathers (really, I've hardly ever seen it decent), and his shirt had a few stains on it. Worst of all, though, were his piercing green eyes boring into mine.
"One day," he swore as he rifled through his drawer, "I'm going to kill you and make it look like a bloody accident." I didn't even bother changing. Sure, my clothes were wrinkled as hell but this wouldn't be the first time I sported this look. I looked in the mirror and smoothed my hair down in the slightest. I recognized bags under my eyes, kinds I hadn't seen since the year from hell (also known as 5th year/OWL year).
"What time did we go to bed last night?" I asked my best mate. He shrugged.
"I think you mean this morning." He went into the bathroom for a moment, but came back out just a few moments later. "I started to see the sun come up." I did miss that. The common room was partly beneath the lake, giving the room an even more greenish feel aside from all the green furniture, but there was one window pane that did reflect a beautiful light when the sun just began to rise. That would've been around six, and it was eight now.
"If we go to the hall now, I bet we can still make it for breakfast." Not that it mattered, anyway. Albus and I found the kitchens when we were sneaking away to Hogsmeade in our fourth year, even though it took us an extra few months to figure out how to get in... tickling a pear, really? On our way out, I looked to Thom and Dylan, whose arm was wrapped around a girl with a mop of jet black hair. I shuddered, thankful that I didn't remember that, and decided to let them be.
"I don't know about you," Albus broke the lapsed silence we fell into while stalking the halls, "But I could really go for something greasy. An omelette of sorts."
"Yeah," I nodded. "Of course." More silence encompassed us.
I didn't realize it. We had only been back-what, six days?- and we were drifting. Six years falling apart across six days, and it wasn't because we didn't share any classes, or we didn't sleep in the same room. It wasn't because our living quarters were on separate sides of the castle. It was because I spent too much sodding time caring about what two girls thought of me, when that wasn't me at all. If Rose didn't appreciate the effort I was putting into our sorry excuse for a friendship, if Dominique thought I was a worthy friend... why did it matter?
Why did it matter that when I looked in the mirror, I seemed different. I wasn't as confident in myself. I didn't have that chip on my shoulder. Instead of coasting by my studies, I was sitting down, doing my homework. 6 days. 144 hours. 8,640 minutes. I felt something burning inside me. It was in the pit of my stomach and it rolled out, seeping through the rest of my bloodstream. I felt a tingle in my fingertips, like I had been sitting on top and just released them.
Fuck it. Fuck it, I told myself. We walked into the great hall, but Al didn't turn right. He turned left. We were going to the Gryffindor table, where all his cousins were seat at the very edge, like they always did. I always found the middle of the table more tasteful, being surrounded by people on both sides. I found it as more of a safety net, metaphorically of course.
For a brief moment, Rose made me remember about why I changed. With every breath I take, the oxygen intake changes my genetic makeup- it's like just doing something as simple as breathing is getting me fired up. It's a reminder to make good to my promise, to make good to her. But I took a knife and slit the wings off those butterflies in my stomach. Al greeted them with swift kisses on the cheek. I didn't greet them.
"How was the party last night?" Dominique pressed. She placed her hand on her face and batted her eyelashes. She was barmy, I swear. The most incessant gossip I'd ever had the misfortune of meeting.
"Party?" Lily inquired. "Well, I'm very surprised Thomas didn't invite me."
I snorted. "And why would he give the password to the spawn of Satan herself? Merlin knows what havoc you would wreak with that." Al nudged me in the side. Sure, Lily and James were the close siblings in the family, but that didn't mean he hated her, wished the worst for her. Usually.
"Not that it's any of your business-" she ran a hand through her wavy hair.
"For once, she's right," I muttered to Al.
"But Thomas and I have been quite cozy lately, he's been teaching me quite a bit, especially on pleasuring charms," Al choked on his pumpkin juice, and spluttered.
"Excuse me?" he asked. "I'm going to kill the son of a-"
"Don't worry, Al," I patted him on the back. "I'd like to think that Thom would know better than to try and penetrate a frigid bitch." I glanced at Rose. She wasn't glaring at me, actually, she wasn't giving me any attention. At all. Al, however was looking at me. I'm not sure if he was confused, but it didn't seem like he was angry. Just flabbergasted. I hadn't been that rude to anyone lately, especially not his family. So everyone probably thought I had outgrown my angsty face when I insulted anyone that breathed because I was insecure about my voice changing. Maybe it wasn't a faze.
"Scorpius?" Al asked easily. "What the hell is wrong with you, mate?"
"Nothing," I shrugged. Dominique's gaze was hitting me almost as hard as Rose's indifference.
"I don't know why you act so wounded, Scorpius," Lily then said. Everybody's heads turned to her. "Like the world is out to get you, like everyone is against you. Your obvious need for attention is a desparate cry for help. But your daddy can't hear you from here." My jaw clenched so hard, I heard a sequence of cracks pop from them.
"You psycho bitch," I had no self control to keep myself from shouting. "Don't ever speak of my father from your disgusting lips again," I smacked over a glass that I'm sure landed all over her, but I was already storming out of the great hall.
I stopped a few meters outside of the hall. I punched a stone wall angrily. I felt a dainty hand on my shoulder. Rose had only touched me like that once, and it was so embedded into me I knew it wasn't hers. But this felt familiar, which only left...
"What do you want, Breeana?" I asked, using her full name out of anger, but it gave me an extra syllable to disperse my anger. Now instead of an eight, I was at a six on the anger scale.
Her hair was too perfect, too pin straight. To be honest, I never really liked it. "Nothing, love, I just wanted to see if you're alright. Your spectacle in the great hall-"
"Was frankly none of your concern," I spat. Her brows furrowed into something I couldn't recall ever seeing on her face, but something I recognized rather well. Hurt. She was never hurt when I didn't want her. It was a cycle. At times, she wasn't interested in me. She scurried away faster than she came, leaving me beyond perplexed. I ran my hair through my hair and slid down the wall, soon enough I felt the coolness of the floor. Al jogged lightly out of the hall and squatted in front of me.
"I'm going to ask you a question," I told him before he could ask, 'Care to explain what was going on in there?' I knew him too well. As he knew me. As he recognized it, before I did myself. "How much did I have to drink last night?"
"What?" he asked. "You had one drink, with Bree." My eyes widened, then narrowed. I shook my head. That was-
"Impossible," I muttered.
"Why?"
"Because I blacked out."
"That's why you asked what time we fell asleep," Al slowly realized (as he once said, not the sharpest Potter in Godric's hollow). "But why would you black out after one drink?"
"It was just firewhiskey," I said. "Bree and I were..." My jaw slacked open. "No," I shook my head. "Bree and I are... no," I refused to voice what I knew to be true. "That's impossible, she's the most down to earth... Knows we're casual..." I couldn't my sentences, they stayed, hanging in the air in fragmented pieces.
"You don't think she," Albus didn't finish the sentence.
Confrontation. I knew that confrontation should have been the first thing on my mind. All my behavior this morning would lead to that action. But for some reason, my mind drifted to Rose, and how much of an arse I must have come off as this morning. "Find Bree," I commanded Al hurriedly. "First try the common room, then the pitch. Make sure she stays where she is. Shouldn't be hard, talk about..." I shook my head, "I don't know, shoes or something."
I almost felt bad, maybe I should've known her better. Almost.
"Rose," I choked out. Dominique and Lily warned me not to with their glares. Hugo shook his head fiercely, 'no,' not even trying to be discreet. He was a good kid. "Listen," I said again, a little more conviction in my voice, but not much. I didn't go far.
"I thought," she began slowly, "That we were getting somewhere."
"We were!" I exclaimed. She stood up. She had to look up to me. She was close, and a good six or seven inches shorter than me. Her long lashes swept up and adorned her deep, ocean blue eyes. No, Scorp, I scolded myself. I opened my mouth to continue, but her unemotional tone cut me across the throat.
"I might be secluded, but I'm not naive," she continued. My heart dropped, even though I didn't know what she was talking about, I was by no means innocent. "I know the promise you made my mother." My lips formed a small O. I was mouth-breathing. "And while that's nice, it's not a good foundation. I thought you were more than another pretentious pretty boy." She turned around, and her hair flowing grazed my chest. For a moment, she turned her head to the side. "You, of all people I'm sure, know I hate being wrong."
She left. Lily went after her. Hugo after them. But Dom... she stayed back. Told them she would catch up later. "You have to believe me," my voice waned into a whine. "That wasn't-"
"You?" she finished. "Yeah, I figured, Scorpius. I'd like to think I'm more akin to reading people than Al is... have to love him, but he's hopeless sometimes." She had a bit of a point. "I knew something was- or is, I don't know- off. Still," she said with an exhale. "Not an excuse." I was halfway there, that was enough for me.
"You've been great to me," I told her honestly. She knew it, too. "But I have another pillar to take down."
I don't know how Al kept her put in the common room, because I could tell that she was bored to death by the dazing look in her eyes. I didn't feel like I did before, like every feeling I had was electrified. But I did feel hot anger. "What was it?" I asked her angrily. Al faded into the background, I don't even know if there were other people in the common room.
"Excuse me?" she craned her neck forward and asked.
"What did you give me last night?"
"Well, it only gave me half the result I wanted," she said with a pout of her lower lip. A fake pout of her lower lip.
"What. Was. It." Each word was enunciated clearly.
"I guess I don't know you as well as I thought I did," she continued, completely evading my question. "Or, maybe I know the old you, since you so obviously changed." I was getting annoyed now.
"What was in my fucking drink, Bree?" If there was any noise before, it was completely gone now. "And don't say firewhiskey, I have witnesses that say otherwise." She tried to get closer to me, put her hands on my chest or some shit, but I stepped back and put my hands up as a signal for her to back off.
"A potion," she finally said. "One that heightens emotions. I thought it would bring back our," she coughed and trailed off. Right, people in the room. "Our relationship. It had been a while, and you didn't return any of my letters this summer."
"So you thought it would be wise to pour a, what exactly was it?" I asked. "Emotion heightening potion?" I ran a hand through my hair.
"It proved what everyone knows," Bree said, arms crossed over her chest. "That you're an attention seeking, insecure little boy. That wasn't my intention, to out your lowest lows, but that's what happens when you cross Bree Bright."
"No," I tugged at my hair and released it. "How long does the potion last?"
"I don't know," she drawled, a lazy tone that very well reflected my own. "Twelve hours?"
I nodded lips pursed in content. "Good, because you'll know there's nothing clouding my judgement when I say: you're off the team."
"What?" she shouted. "You can't do that, Albus is the captain!"
"That may be true, but I'm Head Boy," I said with a satisfied sense of athourity. "And dishing out potions onto students is against school rules."
"So is drinking under-"
"But I'm not underage, so shut it," I finished her sentence. The common room began to buzz, and I knew Al was about to come over and plead her case. I had to drag it out more, prove to him I was fully aware of what I was doing. "I can't trust you again, Bree. We're supposed to be in sync. Two bodies, one mind. How can I trust you with bludgers a thousand feet above the ground when I can't even do that with a drink?"
Al stopped. "Huh," I swear I heard him say. I gnawed on my bottom lip to keep from saying anything else, but of course, two more things slipped out.
"You and me, we're through," I motioned cutting my throat. "For good, Bree." I turned around to the people that had gathered, which were more than were ever in the common room at a time. I assumed that they heard my screaming. "We're going to be holding tryouts for a new beater position. Two qualifications: a good arm, and someone who I don't have to destroy."
The first and second years were the first to scatter, but soon everyone left. Including Bree. Including Al. That just left me, in the eerily green room, sitting on a couch, all by myself. I'm sure more people came and went, but I didn't care. It was 10 in the morning, but there was still a little bit of sun cascading from that window pane. I didn't feel better, not in the slightest. I discovered some parts of me today I was hoping I wouldn't have to uncover for a long while.
I didn't think I hated Lily Potter, but in the moment, that's how I felt. I found it strange. I also felt the memories slipping away. Bree was in NEWT Potions, but not the best. She must've not put enough Jobberknoll feathers in it, which are supposed to heighten or maintain memory. I slipped upstairs, into my old room and went through Al's things. I found it after a moment, a tiny jar.
I drew my wand and extracted the memories I had. I need to remember this later, but all I felt at the moment was tired. I wouldn't allow myself to sleep here, I would be restless. I needed to get back to the Head's dorms.
But I thought of Rose, how hurt I felt when she ignored me, how it drove me to say spiteful, unforgivable, inexcusable things. I remembered the coffee incident, how she spilled mine on me because she didn't drink caffeine. On my way back to my room, which I was making hastily, I bit my lip. I conjured a cup, and poured water into it, bringing it to a boil. The cup was in the shape of a lioness. I admired her courage earlier today. Inside it, I made hot chocolate (magically assisted) in a way I remembered her grandmother made us a few times. I also conjured flowers. Daffodils, for forgiveness. I sent the items to her room, a charm to keep the drink hot. I then wrote a note for myself, reminding me of what I did for Rose and to check with Albus when I woke up. Also, the time and day I went to sleep. Just in case Bree wasn't completely honest.
My last thoughts before drifting to sleep weren't of Rose, or Al; Bree or Quidditch, even of my guilt towards the Weasleys, but of the reflecting sun in the dungeons, and how that would never change when everything else did.
RS/RS/RS
A/N: Looks like Scorpius is having a little internal conflict of his own. Second guessing yourself, who you've become, it's a nasty thing. Especially when a jealous bitch has something to do with it. Review with your thoughts, it would mean a lot :) xoxo
