Hermione was sitting on the floor in the library with her notes splayed out on the floor in front of her. Her hair was bound up in a wild pony tail and she was wearing a pair of sweats with a purple t-shirt. Sirius was sitting at the desk, flipping through one of the tattered volumes and Remus was in the armchair.
She came over in the morning and woke the marauders up with some breakfast. She figured they might have needed after last night's dinner. It was awkward and neither of them ate much because Hermione's stomach was in knots and making them queasy. Nothing went horribly wrong, but Ron made the event awkward.
Draco was going to meet them in the evening after his day with Astoria. Hermione secretly hoped he was going to delve into the day's events once he got here. She knew Astoria Greengrass did not hold the same ideals as most of the pureblood ideals; which was a relief. How would their day go if Snape had to trail them all day?
An embarrassing idea came to mind... What if she wanted to shag her fiancé with this bond? Would it work that far away? Would they feel... she couldn't even fathom it!
"I am going to have to ask you to stop that train of thought, Hermione," Remus murmured and she glanced at him.
He was scarlet and Sirius' eyes were wide with shock, "oh, no!" She covered her face and shook her head.
"Oh, no, love, don't be embarrassed. It is natural to think things like that," Sirius' voice was calm and he climbed on the floor next to her.
She looked at him and he was smiling sincerely at her, "Sirius, I can't even begin to tell you how awkward it is to know you feel the inner workings of my mind." She huffed and his smile evolved to something impish.
"It isn't that bad is it? I might be able to give him some pointers if I find out what dissatisfies you." He teased her and she cheeks tinted.
She turned her vision from him and groaned, "Remus, tell me he gets better over time, please?"
"Not in the least, Hermione. Just be glad he doesn't shove witches at you to shag like he has done with me in our youth." Remus mused and flipped the page in the book on his lap.
"Remus! Tell me you were not like Sirius at some point," Hermione gasped and the werewolf tried to hide his grin.
"I cannot answer that question," he chuckled and Hermione covered her mouth.
Sirius waggled his eyebrows at her as he stretched out next to her, "Moony always had a fondness for bookish girls. The Ravenclaws gravitated toward him!"
"They were always more... inquisitive, Padfoot." Remus said simply and Hermione belted out a stream of laughter.
"Here I thought Remus was the better half!" She exclaimed and Sirius nodded.
Sirius sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair, "we had good times, didn't we, Moony?"
Remus put the book down and frowned, "I miss him too, Sirius."
Hermione pushed the animagus on the floor, his back flat. "Stop being dreary, Sirius. I cannot be mean to someone who looks like they might break into a sob." She was smiling down at him.
Remus tilted his head; that was a strange string of emotions the young witch was going through. He could not put his finger on it as she gazed down at his best mate. It wasn't quite attraction or consoling, but a distinct different sheen.
"Come give me a hug, love?" Sirius asked and she sighed and flopped down on the ground next to him. "You would have been driven mad by James. He was much like Harry, but had my mean streak."
She flicked her wand at the notes and they stacked in a pile, they would keep for now. Waving at Remus, the werewolf walked over and sat next to her empty side. She pulled him to the floor and he was surprised that she cuddled them both.
"He was pretty absolutely terrifying at times, Hermione. I am sure Harry would have been a different boy if James raised him. We loved him and Lily deeply." Remus declared and she pulled the werewolf closer to her body.
The marauders squeezed her curvy frame to their bodies and she radiated comfort for them. "I wish I could bring him back for you," she murmured and Sirius shook his head.
"I would never wish that for him. He died with purpose, Hermione. My trespasses against Remus were extensive and through our times together since those dark days, we have learned to mourn together. Lily was the love of his life. I am proud to say he was our friend." Sirius whispered and buried his face in her neck.
"It can stain someone's heart to wish for the past back," the werewolf whispered and pressed his face to the top of her shoulder blades.
"I know it is hard to lose someone. I have lost quite a few of them," she sighed and Sirius picked her arm up.
"Love, are you going to tell me what happened now?" He asked her, running his thumb over the letters.
Hermione heaved and nodded, "it was while we were destroying the Horcruxes. Snatchers. They took us to Malfoy's Manor... Bellatrix." She did not need to fill in the blanks, Sirius knew.
The animagus took her body to his and held her tightly, "I am sorry, love. I should have been here to protect you." He whispered and she sobbed into his chest.
"I was so mad at you," she whimpered and he nodded.
"I am mad at me too," he breathed and she sobbed harder.
Remus ran his hand through her hair and she just cried, letting them comfort her. She wasn't sure the last time she had allowed herself to feel it wash over her. It crushed her for the first time in years. She was so strong that she forgot what it was like to be consoled.
"You don't have to be strong for us, Hermione. We can handle it." Remus murmured and she turned to him.
"You had to go be a hero and Teddy missed you. Harry was devastated by losing Sirius and then you left us too. Do you know what I had to do? I had to shoulder them. I had to hold the world there for years!" She was letting it all come up like word vomit; expelling the poison.
"The Weasleys lost Fred and that was a big blow for me. I really fancied him, even if it was never returned aside from a couple of heated shags. I had to be the rock. I had to go over and take care of Molly when her and Arthur were stricken with grief. Molly finally started to act herself when she had an inkling that I was playing with the idea of staying with Ron. I couldn't take that from her; no parent should ever have to lose their child. I lost my parents too, so it was almost too good to be true."
Remus sat up and gazed down at her, "that isn't your responsibility to take care of everyone anymore, Hermione. Your responsibility is to your happiness."
Remus' head jutted to the door and Draco Malfoy appeared with Snape, "are we interrupting a poorly timed copulation?" He sneered and Hermione giggled through her tears.
"Draco Malfoy! I am crying on the floor and you assume I am shagging them," she declared and sat up.
Snape smirked, "I am sure it would not be the first time that they have suffered someone disappointment."
Hermione gasped and giggled, "Severus Snape!"
Sirius growled and moved to get up but Hermione pushed him back down on the ground, "leave it, Sirius. Let's not go down that road tonight."
Draco entered the room and sighed, "so why were you really crying, Granger? Are they being intolerable?"
Remus stood up and helped her to her feet, "we were just talking about history," she gave him a look and rubbed her arm subconsciously.
Draco cleared his throat and nodded, "well, that is understandable then."
"Not that I do not relish in striding down memory lane, the incantation notes?" Snape questioned drolly and Draco nodded.
Hermione pulled her wand out and flicked at the pile, it floated to the desk and Snape nodded. The witch stretched and wiped her face with a heaved sigh. "Love, don't go home tonight, stay with us." Sirius said as he caught her regret.
"And listen to Ron tongue lash me for hours tomorrow? I think not, Sirius Black. I have an hour or so left in me before Ron will be put out that I am gone."
"Yet again, I am completely enthralled with the capabilities Mr. Weasley has to put fear into Miss Granger," Snape said dismissively as he flipped through the pages.
Draco had started pulling books from one of his bags he brought in and rolled his eyes. "I have been saying that for months, Severus."
Hermione frowned and glared at them. "I will have you know it isn't fear," she said pointedly.
"No, it is just compliance," Remus mused and she glowered at him, "I am sorry, Hermione. I usually agree with you, but we can feel your feelings unfortunately for you. I have never known you to be one to settle."
"My relationship is no one's business here," She said cooly and went to grab one of the books Draco pulled out. "How was your outing, Draco?" She asked sitting on the couch.
He smirked at her and sighed, "it was pleasant," he declared and continued to pull the books out.
"You don't seem as elated as I would have thought." She said and he chuckled.
"You make it sound like I was set to elope with her. Not while Severus is attached," Draco snickered and Hermione blushed deeply. "Why, did you and Weasley do so with them?" His face almost curious.
"Mr. Malfoy, probably not a subject that any of us would enjoy to divulge in." Snape warned him and the marauders glared at the blond.
Hermione busied herself by pulling out a few more stacks of notes from her bag. Sirius flopped down next to her and pulled a few pages from her. Remus was glancing at the books Draco had pulled out and frowned.
"These go back quite a few centuries," the werewolf remarked and Draco nodded.
"She spent three months going through the library. My parents were none too happy with it, but her outrageous insanity over them made her grow on me." Draco teased and Hermione rolled her eyes.
"He used to yell at me daily. 'Granger, why can't you just be a little less thorough!' Or my favorite, 'Granger, books are for reading, not sleeping on!' At least then he was tolerable. He never asked me about my personal life." She grumbled and the blond sat down in a transfigured chair.
Sirius glared at her, "you used to go to his home regularly after all you went through there?"
The air grew thin in the room and she exhaled heavily, "my own healing process, Sirius. It brought you both back so I cannot complain."
Sirius stomped out of the room and Remus pursed his lips. "He is going to get some air, I am sure."
Hermione felt so confused; she wanted to go comfort him. Why did she feel so guilty if she did? She wanted to tell him it was alright, she has him now, but they weren't hers. Her eyes went to Remus who was staring at her with understanding. He nodded and she stood up and walked from the room. Walking through the dim kitchen, she left through the side door and saw him pacing and smoking a cigarette.
"Padfoot," she whispered and he gazed at her.
"It isn't fair, Hermione. It isn't right. You went through so much for me and I am a wanker." He growled and she frowned as she approached him.
"Sirius, I had no clue that I was going to bring you and Remus back. I am thankful for it. It made it all worth it. Don't you understand that?" She finished and he tossed his cigarette on the ground and stomped it out.
"Love, you have to understand. No one loves us like that. Brief moments of acceptance in both our lives. The Potters loved me. I was one of their children in their opinion. James was like a brother. Remus is just as close, we were outcasts. I just don't understand why you brought me back if you had to go through so much pain for me. I cannot handle that."
"Sirius Black, you are worthy, don't you know that?" She asked him and he waved her off.
"Hermione, you shouldn't say things like that to me." He spat and she raised her hands.
"It is true, Sirius," she declared and he growled.
"Hermione, just stop it!" He went to walk away and she stopped and hugged him.
He melted against her and ran his fingers over her back. The animagus pulled away and took her face in his hands gently, "You deserve happiness, Hermione Granger. Do you hear me? Even if that means you go out and shag tons of men or stay with that Weasley boy. I am certain if anyone deserves it most, it is you." He whispered and she kissed his lips.
Sirius was stunned by her forward action and took him a moment or two to comply. His hands cupped her cheeks as he sincerely started to kiss her. His tongue tasted of the gritty texture of his cigarettes but she had not minded nearly as much as she thought she would. Her hands ran up his torso and he growled in her mouth before pulling away. "Witch, you shouldn't open doors you are not ready to walk through." He warned her and she giggled and pulled away from him.
"At least you are a better kisser with some sobriety, Sirius." Hermione teased him and cleared her throat, "just between you, me and Remus alright?" She asked and he nodded with a heavy sigh.
"Come stay with us?" He asked her and she frowned at him.
"Are you insane?" She retorted and he nodded.
"A complete nutter, but I don't want you to leave," Sirius replied, running fingers through his facial hair.
"Sirius, I am getting married in six months. My future husband would hit the ceiling if I came and stayed with two men in a deserted house," she told him and he pursed his lips.
"Don't think about what he has to say for once. Come stay with us and work on this with us. Take some time away from that craziness and see if you still feel the same way."
"Sirius, are you seriously suggesting this to me? To what degree would you like to know how much of the family would hex you?" She questioned sharply and he laughed.
"Do you really think it matters if we are not doing anything deviant? You need to be here as much as we need you here, Hermione." He growled with a pointed finger.
Hermione let out a groan of frustration and scratched her neck. "Let me have a few days to decide, you determined wanker." She conceded and he gave her a nod.
"That is more than I expected," he confessed and she snorted.
"Let's go back in before Draco starts making jokes about us shagging in the garden," Hermione declared and Sirius grinned.
"You know, we still could do that," he said with a wink and she rolled her eyes.
"Don't make me regret coming to get you," she told him and he took her under his arm as they walked back toward the house.
"I promise, I won't," he chuckled and they rejoined their group.
