Chapter 7: Why Does Everyone Want Lan?

"Oh my, what a whole bunch of idiotic guys I hang out with," sighed Sonia as she was running alongside Sal.

Sal nodded, "Okay. We're here. Are you sure you want to help me with this mission, kid?"

"I may be a kid, but I'm from the future. So I'll finish this mission a whole lot more efficiently."

"Brat, you've got an ego huger than Rihanna."

"Bitch please."

A man walked up to the two of them, "You two must be the ladies who are here to test our defense system. Please follow me."

The two of them followed to a certain area where lots of people were in cells. The door behind them closed, and they turned around to face the man on the other side. "Please try your best to escape from this correction institute. That is your mission."

Before the two girls could object, a bunch of hands came down to restrain them. Sal and Sonia jacked in their respective navis and leapt away from the arms. Woodman and Harp gasped as they found themselves face to face with Falzar, the Life Virus, Gospel, and Nebula Grey.

Woodman summoned a whole bunch of wood towers, and the two of them hid behind the wood. "Holy shit! What the hell! How did they?"

Harp turned around, "Wait a minute, they're not attacking. They're fakes! The machine controlling them is right beneath them!"

Sal and Sonia sighed in relief as the door opened. They ran to the next door in only their bras and panties, their outer clothing removed from the arms, and found themselves faced with another door. They immediately jacked in as more arms came to restrain them.

This time, Woodman and Harp found themselves face to face with Proto (Alpha in the English games) and Gregar. Woodman pointed beneath the two beasts, "There's the machine!"

As the two ran to it, Proto opened its shoulder armor and shot a barrage of fire at the two of them. Woodman summoned logs to block the shots. Gregar shot a flame breath, which was countered by a water tower by Harp.

Woodman yelled, "Shit! These are the real things! What do we do?"

Harp yelled, "That can't be! I highly doubt my water tower could've extinguished Gregar's fires. These look real and they're probably using other programs to make it look like they're using the originals' attacks."

Woodman and Harp combined their attacks and easily destroyed the two creatures. Sal and Sonia sighed in relief as they ran to the receptionist's desk. "Done."

The man clapped his hands. "As expected of net savors. Thank you for helping us. Here is your prize, a set of cipher codes."

"Okay great. We're out of here."

"Wait a minute, ladies. It's come to my attention that there was a bag of suspicious plants in your clothing when we retrieved them. We're going to have to ask you to stay here to be rehabilitated."

Sonia yelled, "It was Sal's! I saw her smoking while watching Go Diego Go porn!"

"You tattle telling brat! I'll kill you!"

"Unfortunately, we found some in your pockets too miss."

Sal pulled Sonia's hair, "You stole them from me didn't you!"

"Now please step this way to start being rehabilitated."

"And if we say no?"

"You could. But I highly doubt that you want to run in the streets in diapers."

The two of them looked down and found themselves in diapers. "Wha-? How!"

"The restraining devices. Now please step this way."

Outside the glass door, Bass could be seen being chased by Lan. "I don't give a fuck if you don't want to date me! At least give me my damn prize!"

Megaman cried loudly, "Bassie poo! How could you cheat on me? With my own brother!"

Bass and Lan yelled, "Shut up!"

Bass continued, "Get the hell away from me you stupid brat! I wanted a girl to take up my mission so I can feel like a real man again! I wanted a girl to do my damn laundry and make me a sandwich! Hey, red-headed girl ahead! Stop this imbecile for me!"

Lan stopped, "Shit. Red-headed girl?"

A hand pierced through Bass's chest, causing him to cough. "Wh- what the hell? Who is this being more powerful than me?"

"Lan Hikari! How many times must I beat you up for dating random bitches with horrible fashion choice?"

"Mayl! I can explain!"

Bass growled, "I'll show you horrible fashion! Have you ever been bald before woman?"

He pointed his hand at her head, "Darkness over-"

Mayl grabbed his arm and ripped it off. Bass screamed and went back to the net. Mayl held up a picture and confirmed that it was something she was supposed to get. Then she walked to Lan, "You…. YOU!"

Lan fell to the ground and scooted back, "Wait! Mayl! I just wanted to date another guy to see if I was gay! Turns out I'm not! So now I can look for a girl who will do what I say as a perfect"

Mayl stopped, gasped, and ran away. Lan stood up, "What was that all about? Hey. There's a rosary on the ground. This might come in handy later."

Suddenly, everything went black. "Hey! What the hell? Am I being kidnapped? Who's kidnapping me? Are you rich? Are you a pretty girl? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? I'm bored! Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

"Damnit! This brat is annoying! Is he really going to be our prince?"

The men threw Lan out of the bag in front of Princess Pride's feet. "Lan! It's amazing! I found an ancient law that says I can choose any person from Dentech City to marry I want! And if that person doesn't marry me, Dentech City must destroy itself! Look!"

Princess Pride showed what seemed like a bunch of hieroglyphs to Lan. "Idiot."

The two of them turned to face Yai. Yai scoffed, "That looks like some first grade drawing of a unicorn."

Pride sniffled, "My mommy said it looked like Ponytas!"

Yai grabbed Lan, "Let's go back home honey."

Pride grabbed Lan's other arm, "Hey! He's mine!"

"He's from my city! He's mine!"

"He's in my kingdom! He's mine!"

"I'm made in China. So I belong to the Chinese."

"SHUT UP! Fine! I'll buy him," yelled Yai. "Two million zennies!"

"Three million!"

"Five million!"

"Ten million!"

A kidnapper sighed, "That kid isn't worth more than three zennies."

"Sixteen billion!"

"Do you even have that much?"

"Bitch please, my bra alone is worth that much!"

"Why are you wearing a bra? You don't even have a chest!"

"RAWR!" Yai and Pride turned and saw a whole bunch of body parts flying around. There was a masked person slicing everyone present. "Nobody shall have Lan."

Protoman sighed, "Master Chaud, you really need to come out of the closet."

"Shut up! He's just my best friend! My only friend! He makes my insides go fuzzy! When he looks at me and I look at him, it's like we're the only ones in this world!"

Chaud widened his eyes as he spun and sliced a bullet that was heading to Lan. Far away, Laika growled, "Damn you Lan. Princess Pride is mine! Take this! My rage! My anger! And ALL OF MY SORROW! Super sniper shot!"

Searchman said, "Laika. You don't have to name your shots. Each bullet isn't any different from the other."

"Pew pew pew pew pew! Kaboosh! Bang bang! Ka pew!"

"Sigh…"

Lan quivered and eventually mustered up the courage to run away to an airplane. "Take me home!"

The pilot nodded, "Roger."

Lan was dropped off in front of a shop. "Thank… hey this isn't near my home. I gave you my address. Le gasp!"

Ms. Miyu revealed herself to be the pilot. "Lan. Please step into my store."

Lan gulped and did as she instructed. He did not want to mess with this fortune teller. "So what do you need?"

He heard the door behind him close and locked. Ms. Miyu smirked, "Lan. I need you to complete a spell."

She dropped her robe to reveal a black dominatrix costume. Lan gulped and took a step back. "What do you need me for?"

Ms. Miyu surprised him by jumping to him, making him fall back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered in his ear. "Relax."

Lan slightly moved forward and found his clothes cut off. He was left in a pair of white panties with a pink waistband. He blushed and covered himself. "Wait!"

Ms. Miyu shook her head. "We're almost out of time."

She ran to him on all fours and changed him into another pair of underwear. She grabbed him by the neck and made him stand up right as soon as the door opened with Mayl coming in. "Ms. Miyu, I collected ev… ery… thing… you… Lan? What the… AGAIN?"

Lan gulped, "Damnit. Mayl! I can explain."

Mayl's hair started rising, her eyes turning red, nails becoming claws, teeth becoming fangs. Ms. Miyu continued dancing around Lan, whispering, "We need to bring out the full fury of her inner demon to get rid of it."

"Lan, you promised me in that underwear, that you would not allow anyone else to see you in underwear except for me."

Lan looked down and saw that he was wearing his white briefs with different cars on them. "Hey this is my underwear. How do you remember? And how come you have it Ms. Miyu?"

"Not important."

"Right. Well. You're going to be more disappointed in me, Mayl!"

Lan wrapped his arms around Ms. Miyu's neck and started dancing around her, pole dancing with her as the pole, surprisingly well. Ms. Miyu stood there stiff, blushing. Wait. This is just a mission. Just a mission, nothing more. And he's just a boy.

Lan took her hand and put it in his underwear on his crotch, causing her to faint. Lan looked down. "Ms. Miyu? What am I supposed to do?"

Mayl no longer looked like a human and leapt and Lan. Lan screamed and ducked, being able to dodge Mayl. He crawled away and found his hands on the rosary he picked up earlier. Mayl leapt and Lan, who used the rosary as a shield which stopped Mayl midair.

Lan saw this and threw it at Mayl, and by luck, the rosary landed on Mayl as a necklace. Mayl growled and a dark entity left her. Lan leapt to catch her, looked up, and saw the dark entity flying away. "Huh, that was weird."

Mayl fluttered her eyes open. "Wha- what happened?"

Lan smiled, "Do you remember anything?"

"Lan? You- you dated so many people this week! I hate you! And I can't believe you didn't know there was something wrong with me!"

She started slapping Lan, but there was no destructive power in her anymore. "Sorry! Jeez! I guess I've been reading too many mangas with tsunaderes with life-threatening punches!"

The two of them walked home for the night, arguing back and forth. Lan stayed over at Mayl's again since his mom wasn't home and his dad was arrested for doing illegal cloning. Mayl blushed when she realized Lan was still only in his underwear… again at her house.

Lan didn't seem to realize this. He shivered and turned on the TV, his jaw dropping. On TV was Roll shaking her butt at a mettaur while the mettaur was shooting a liquid into a vial. "Some other disturbing images being shown on the internet is the infamous Bass's and the supposedly well-mannered butler of Yai, Glide, doing a pornography together. It's too disgusting to show but we'll show it anyways."

Footage of a nude picture of Bass was shown on and Glide moaning due to certain… stuff came afterwards (no pun intended). Yai yelled, "Glide! What's the meaning of this!"

"How did anyone find it? It was in your prototype copybot which I thought you threw away!"

Bass wrapped his cloak around himself. "Stop undressing me with your eyes!"

Lots of undernet navis chuckled, looking at the once so fearsome navi.

Numberman yelled, "Higsby! My heart is being shown on the internet! I thought the Wizard of Oz gave me back my heart when you flew to Kansas!"

"Nah. I lied and gave you some girl's heart, but more importantly, they're taking me away!"

Some police officers threw Higsby into their car, "Stop resisting arrest. You were found guilty of helping with Dr. Hikari's cloning project."

Dex sighed, "Damnit, where am I supposed to get battlechips now? Hey! My love letter to Lan! I- how?"

Lan shivered, "I didn't know Dex felt that way about me… Now all those times looked at me in the locker room and shower room make sense, and I knew there was something suspicious about his wiener promises…"

Mayl gulped, "So that's what all those things were for. I thought they were for a spell to get rid of Duo. Poor Tenguman. I hope he's doing well without his nose."

Chapter end.

A/N: Hooray. I can make Mayl and Lan back in character a bit more now. ^_^. Which means more LanxMayl moments are possible! Almost caught up with all the missions. Send in more!