A/N: Apologies for the lateness, my own fault. The story will start moving properly in the next few chapters, for now an almost heart-to-heart. Hope you like it!
Many many thanks to Rantandrumour for beating me (haha sod it I'm not deleting the typo even If I do mean....beta-ing for me.) Any mistakes remain my own!
'The woman he loves.' The words kept repeating constantly in her head, the faulting croak in his voice as the words caught in his throat.
"Do you?" Alex questioned. Before she would not have wanted to know, could not have bore the idea that she would have eventually left him. It did not matter if the feelings were returned, a promise was a promise, but if she found Molly here, she would not hesitate in staying.
"Do I what?" He knew damn well what she was talking about; he could feel it weighing heavy across his shoulders. Maybe being open would lighten the load, but he doubted it. A feeling of sickness churned low in his stomach at the realisation, he had laid his feeling to her in words that were not his. It was too late to back pedal now.
"Do you? Love this... this woman?" Gene could not see the hand she pressed against her chest, her heart beat thudding against her palm, but he could hear what she was implying.
"I don't think this is the time or the place," he said setting his shoulders as he turned to look at her, his features were schooled to give nothing away, but he was surprised by the lack of disgust on her face. If anything it looked like she...but that could not be right, what would she want with a clapped out old sod like him.
"Please Gene." she moved towards him with deliberate slowness, like he was a wild animal easily startled. "Tell me," she implored, her hand now resting gently against his chest. "Gene, tell me."
He wanted to. Gene Hunt wanted to tell her how he loved this woman, every irritating, picky part of her brain. How he loved disturbing her at four am, because a dead body had washed up in the Thames, knowing she would open her door to him; face bare of make-up, bags under her eyes, with bed mussed hair. He could not think of anything he wanted more then to see her smile. The lion in him wanted to confess how he found the sway of her hips hypnotising and the bump on her nose adorable.
He wanted to tell Alex Drake, that even in this messed up world, where she seemed so alone, so beautiful, in the world that was keeping her from her daughter, that he would bring her home. Desired the chance to tell her he would cherished every part of her, including the daughter he had never met. Gene Hunt had been pushed and had not stopped falling since he had met her.
He broke away from her, because he could not tell her, not yet. She did not trust him. "When this is all over, I'll tell you what this quite frankly insufferable woman makes me feel."
"Promise," she said smiling weakly.
"Bolly, I'll pinky swear if you really want," he said, holding up his little finger and wiggling it, with a wicked smile creeping across his previously blank face.
"I trust you," Gene's contagious grin faltering as her face lit into a smile.
.*.
"You don't though do you?" Gene's voice was level as he broke the lingering silence that had followed them from the station back to her flat.
Alex looked over her shoulder at him closing the front door, "Sorry, I don't follow."
"You say you trust me, but you don't."
"Of course I do, what has got into you?"
"Don't lie to me, Alex," he growled out between gritted teeth, "I'm not a fool, there's parts of this case your determined to keep from me."
Sensing this was because of the issues surrounding her daughter Alex bristled like a lioness, "She's my daughter, I don't trust anyone with her. I don't even trust her father with her. For twelve years its been me and Molly against the world," she walked through to the kitchen to put the kettle on, refusing to talk face to face as she opened cupboards and draws for mugs and a teaspoon, "The last sixteen months have been the hardest of my life, I don't have photographs, I haven't been able to call. All I have are fading memories." She bit back a sob, her back to him as she made them a cup of tea.
She tried to work her mind around the road blocks in her head, so she could describe a part of her daughter to him, wanting so desperately for someone to understand, "Her eyes there like yours, but more of a dark blue. She has a mole on her cheek, just here," she said facing him to show him where the mole was, "She has a scar on her finger from when she was four, she was trying to peel an apple. I still don't know where she got the knife from, I was terrified, blood everywhere. Ev- her godfather rushed the pair of us to the hospital, she smiled the whole way." Alex laughed, "Nothing scares her, brave as a lion. She's clever too, can't lie to save her life though, always know when she's been reading my case files," Alex stalled in the unloading of her rambled thoughts, her eyes unfocused.
"She sounds like you."
Alex closed her eyes, remembering her daughter clearly for the first time in a long while. "I miss her so much its like I don't even exist without her, but sometimes it's so difficult to remember her," her breath halted and she had to take a deep and unsteady breath, "I'm not going to cry," she spoke softly to herself, pressing her fingers into the corner of her eyes, in an attempt to stop the swell of tears.
He stood leaning on the counter watching her fight back her emotions, wanting to take her into his arms. There didn't seem to be any real words of comfort he could offer her, but he tried, "Alex, I'm sor-" "No! Do not say it, don't!" she said rushing forward to grip his biceps tightly, "Gene, Gene, please promise me, you will choose her and... and if I'm not there to look after her... You'll take care of her, please Gene, I need to know she will be safe."
It pained him to say it, but he would do just about anything to make her happy, "Not letting you go anywhere Bolly, but if it makes you feel any better the Gene Genie will keep her safe."
Alex bumped her head down on to his shoulder, "Thank you," she spoke with sincerity, the heavy scent of his coat pacifying her racing mind, "I do trust you, but its hard."
"Its not meant to be easy, Bolly, just keep trying," he said his hand flat against her lower back, his fingers itching to draw circles into her skin. She was battling with herself to trust him with the most precious in her life, Gene smiled at the room around him.
