DISCLAIMER: Dick Clair and Jenna McMahon created "The Facts of Life" fictional characters borrowed for this fan fiction. Joe Connelly and Bob Mosher wrote "The Private War of Major Benson," from which the title of this work was borrowed. Wilbur Smith wrote "The Dark of the Sun," from which the title of this chapter was borrowed. The author of this fan fiction does not profit, in any way, from the story and that all creative rights to the characters and titles belong to their original creator(s).
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Damn muse! She just does not understand one needs sleep in order to function at work.
The Private War of Joanna Polniaczek
The Darkening of the Sun
After speaking to the hematologist, Jo and Blair went inside to join the party in Rose's apartment. Jo pulled her mother into the kitchen, so she could speak to her uninterrupted.
"Ma, Mrs. G's husband is really sick, but the docs don't know what's wrong," Jo crossed her arms and leaned against the kitchen counter.
"Shouldn't you and Blair be at the hospital?" Rose asked.
"Yeah, but there's not a whole lot we can do," Jo grumbled.
"I know that look Jo," Rose knowingly stated.
"I'm hopin' I'm wrong, but I remember pop's tales from the old country," Jo shook her head.
"Jo," Rose reassuringly smiled, "those were just folk stories your grandfather told your father to scare him. They must've worked, because your father told them to you for the same reason."
"Yeah? Well, they did the trick," Jo weakly chuckled.
Rose smiled and hugged Jo, "Don't worry about those silly folk stories."
Jo smiled, reassured her mother she would, and watched the older woman exit the kitchen. Judging by the raucous in the living room, Jo knew her mother was thrilled to have Jamie here. The brooding brunette just wished it were under happier circumstances. She was lost in thought as she poured herself a cup of coffee.
"A penny for your thoughts," Blair whispered in Jo's ear, startling her, causing her to spill hot coffee down the front of her pants.
Blair immediately grabbed a towel off the kitchen counter; "Jo, I'm SO sorry," Blair apologized as she wiped down the front of Jo's pants.
"It's okay…," Jo said as she tried to stop Blair's actions.
"No, no, I'm SO sorry," Blair continued to apologize and wipe the front of Jo's pants.
After realizing nothing was going to stop Blair from her mission to clean up the mess, Jo sighed in resignation. When Blair's towel began cleaning the inseam of Jo's pants, the brunette bit down on her bottom lip. Jo's silence prompted Blair to look up from her cleaning. A wicked smile crossed the lawyer's lips when she saw the tightly closed eyes and red cheeks. Blair drew out her wiping strokes to see how Jo would react. This caused the brunette to tighten her grip on the edge of the kitchen counter. When Blair ran the tip of her index finger along the inseam of Jo's pants, the highly aroused brunette's eyes flew open.
"Okay…," Jo exclaimed as she jumped away from Blair, "…I'm clean."
Blair slowly stood up, threw the dirty towel in the sink, and leaned close to Jo, invading her best friend's personal space. She gave Jo a rather smug smile and lightly brushed her hand against Jo's backside before leaving the kitchen. After Jo heard the kitchen door close, she let out the breath she was holding.
"Dammit Warner," Jo mumbled as she pulled at the crotch of her pants, "You got me all wet."
When Jo realized what she said, she laughed and shook her head. Although her long journey down that river in Egypt ended several years ago, unfortunately, the day before the doctor informed her she was pregnant; Jo adamantly refused to acknowledge her feelings for Blair. She was not the type of woman to engage in dwelling on things with no good resolutions and being in love with one's heterosexual best friend was definitely one of those things.
'You're a married woman with a kid now,' Jo reminded herself.
After making sure she had regained control over her emotions, Jo exited the kitchen and joined the festivities in the living room. As she was about to sit down next to Blair, her mobile telephone vibrated. She answered it and quickly exited the apartment.
"Hey Nat, what's up?" Jo asked.
"Mrs. Garrett's husband has taken a turn for the worse," Natalie softly said.
"Okay, we'll be right there. Bye," Jo hung up.
As soon as Jo entered her mother's apartment, Blair greeted her at the door, confirming Jo's intuition the lawyer was listening in on her conversation with Natalie.
"You heard?" Jo grinned.
"Yes. I have said my farewells," Blair smiled.
Jo nodded at her and walked over to her mother. She briefly informed her mother of the situation and said goodbye to Jamie.
"You be a good girl for grandma, okay?" Jo smiled at her daughter and kissed the little girl on the forehead.
"Yes mommy," Jamie happily answered.
"I'll be back as soon as I can," Jo hugged her mother.
"Take your time," Rose smiled.
Jo was lost in thought as the two women walked towards Blair's rental car, unable to shake her earlier conversation with her mother. Her logical mind knew her mother was right, but her gut adamantly disagreed. Jo debated whether to share her theory with Blair. She did not want to scare the sheltered heiress, but Jo wanted her friend prepared for the possible horrors, in the event her theory proves correct. Sensing something was really bothering Jo, Blair remained silent.
They were well underway before Jo noticed how quiet the ride was and broke the silence with a question she knew would elicit a reaction from Blair, "So how is your latest boy toy?"
The shocked look on Blair's face was reward in itself, but her verbal response was pure icing, "Jo Polniaczek! Turn blue!"
Jo's laughter filled the car, "Now there's the Blair I missed!"
The sentiments were out before Jo could censor them, so she just hoped Blair did not hear her. Of course, Jo was never that lucky when it came to Blair Warner.
"Oh Jo," Blair smiled, trying not to gush too much and end up annoying Jo.
"Yeah, yeah," Jo grimaced and silently berated herself for the slip.
Blair stole a quick glance at Jo. Unbeknownst to anyone but her, Blair dealt with her lesbianism while she was dating Casey. Her epiphany came one night during a dinner date with the man. She finally took a long hard look at him and realized she was dating a male version of Jo. After several months of inner reflection, she accepted her true sexual orientation and waited for the right opportunity to break up with Casey. The perfect opportunity arrived when he asked her to live with him. It afforded her an excuse that would not cause anyone to question her reasoning, playing right into her well-cultivated 'good girl' image. Blair then set her sights on finding out how Jo felt.
"What?" Jo barked, when she caught the smirk on Blair's face.
"Hmmm?" Blair feigned innocence.
"Don't play blonde with me. I've seen the bottles, remember?" Jo growled.
"You know Jo, you're pretty sensitive after all," Blair beamed.
After being caught off-guard, Jo sulked and stared silently out the passenger window.
'Damn, I wish she wouldn't flirt with me,' Jo thought and growled.
By the time they pulled into the hospital's parking garage, Blair had reluctantly relented and ceased her flirting with Jo, sensing the still surly brunette had reached the end of her naturally short fuse. When Jo and Blair arrived on Bruce's floor and saw the distraught look on Natalie's face, they knew it was definitely bad news, because it took a lot to shake the usually jovial woman.
"What happened?" Jo asked.
"Bruce...," Natalie muttered.
"Nat!" Jo barked.
"Tootie...," Natalie cryptically continued.
"Natalie?" Blair tried.
"Mrs. Garrett...," Natalie sobbed.
Jo's last good nerve snapped and she grabbed Natalie by the shoulders. She shook the younger woman, trying to bring her out of whatever she was in, but to no avail. Jo looked at Blair, silently asking what she should do. Blair shook her head sadly.
"Natalie?" Blair cooed in a soothing tone as she led her distraught friend to the closest chair, "What happened?"
Natalie stared into Blair's soft brown eyes and completely broke down.
Blair held the violently sobbing Natalie and did her best to soothe the completely distraught young woman. After what felt like an eternity to Jo, Natalie finally calmed down enough to speak.
"Bruce…," Natalie took a deep breath and stopped.
"Natalie?" Blair softly asked, trying to prompt Natalie to begin speaking again.
Natalie looked into Blair's concerned brown eyes and shook her head. She glanced over Blair's shoulder and shuddered when two angry green eyes met hers.
"Nat?" Jo growled.
Natalie took in a sharp breath and blurted, "Bruce was a vampire!"
"WHAT?" Blair exclaimed.
"WAS?" Jo asked.
Blair turned and incredulously stared at Jo, who did her best to ignore Blair's inquisitive stare.
"Nat? Was? What happened?" Jo asked.
Natalie took a deep breath, "Mrs. Garrett staked him."
Both Jo and Blair exclaimed, "STAKED?"
"Yes…very Buffy," Natalie stated, tinged with a bit of humor.
"How?" Jo asked.
Natalie took another deep breath, "Tootie, Mrs. Garrett, and I were in Bruce's room, waiting for him to wake up. When he opened his eyes, they weren't normal."
"Normal color?" Blair asked.
"No," Natalie sighed and rolled her eyes, "Normal human. What part of vampire did you not understand?"
"Sorry, all this is still un peu surréaliste," Blair weakly smiled.
Jo, suddenly realizing Tootie was strangely absent, looked around their immediate area.
"She's in the Psych Ward," Natalie flatly stated, not looking at Jo, "The doctors said they wanted to keep Tootie for observation."
Blair blankly stared at Natalie.
Natalie took a deep breath and let it out slowly before continuing, "Bruce woke up, looked at us with those eyes, and bared his fangs! The man had actual fangs! I had to pinch myself, because I thought I was having some weird nightmare. Unfortunately, it was NOT a nightmare…," Natalie drew in a calming breath, "…it was REAL!"
"How's Mrs. G handlin' it?" Jo asked.
Natalie blankly stared at Jo, blinked several times, and broke down into sobs again.
"Shit," Jo muttered under her breath.
"Shit is right," Blair stated and glared at Jo before drawing Natalie into her arms.
Jo's eyebrows hit her hairline and she stared incredulously at Blair.
"Natalie? What happened to Mrs. Garrett?" Blair softly cooed.
"Bruce was heading towards Tootie, she was closest to the bed and obviously frozen with fear, but Mrs. Garrett pushed Tootie out of the way. Bruce grabbed and bit her. It all happened SO fast! Before we knew it, Mrs. Garrett was lying on the floor and Bruce was going after Tootie again! He was about to sink his fangs into Tootie when Mrs. Garrett staked him with the sharp end of the broken mop handle," Natalie collapsed into Blair's arms.
"Broken mop handle? Where the hell did that come from?" Jo groused.
"Remember the Halloween we thought Mrs. Garrett made bratwurst out of old man Bigley?" Natalie asked.
Jo's brows furrowed and she glared at Natalie, "Huh?"
"While Bruce was distracted with Tootie, I grabbed a mop and broke the handle. I was going to use it, but Mrs. Garrett came to and motioned for me to throw it to her," Natalie explained.
"Ah! The maneuver we used on Mrs. G!" Jo grinned.
"Mrs. Garrett staked Bruce, killing him instantly. Ya know…he actually turned to ash. It gave me an entirely new perspective on Buffy," Natalie stated with awe.
"Excuse me? If you two are through?" Blair asked in a huff.
"Oh yeah...sorry Blair," Natalie apologized to Blair and continued her recollection of events, "After Mrs. Garrett staked Bruce, she collapsed."
"Where's Mrs. G now?" Jo asked, panicked.
"Isolation Ward," Natalie answered.
"Do the docs really think they can cure Mrs. G?" Jo asked, her voice dripping with skepticism.
Natalie gave Jo her usual 'Please tell me you're not serious' look. Jo chuckled when she saw that look, causing Natalie to chuckle as well. Before the two young women knew, they were laughing. Blair gave her friends her best look of disdain and indignation.
"Hey blondie, lighten up," Jo lightly smacked Blair on the arm.
"I cannot believe the two of you are laughing when Mrs. Garrett could be a…," Blair indignantly stated as she rubbed the arm Jo smacked.
"Blair? Laugh or cry? Take your pick. Me? I'd rather laugh than cry any day of the week," Natalie joked.
"Nice to have you back Nat," Jo patted her friend on the back, "Now let's see how we can help Mrs. G."
