A/N: I'm sure both sides can empathise with this little ficlet. Was trying to think of fun ideas about parenting and realised I'd never covered this topic. So hopefully readers will enjoy.


For All The Things You Never Knew You Needed

Peter rubbed at his eyes, before signing off on the last few reports, by the dim light of the dining room's chandelier. It had been a long week and he was grateful only Friday remained before the weekend began. El had been talking up this new restaurant she read about in last weekends paper, and although Thai wasn't exactly Peter's cup of tea he'd eat it if it made her happy.

A moment later Peter felt the hairs on the back of neck stand up, that eerie feeling that told him he was being watched. Glancing to the side he noticed Ender there, standing perfectly still, just watching him with two giant blue eyes. If Peter was to be perfectly honest with himself, it was almost creepy the way the kid seemed to appear out of thin air. He could also disappear just as quickly, usually when Peter was about to suggest the dished needed to be dried.

After about a minute of a rather creepy staring contest in which Ender refused to blink Peter decided to break the silence. "Did you need something Ender?" He carefully asked.

The kid didn't move except to carefully nod his head once up and down.

Peter sensed he would need to give this his full attention so he put down the pen and turned in the chair till he now faced Ender, indicating he was listening. "What can I do to help?"

Ender stayed still for a long moment and Peter could practically see gears whirring while he thought about what to say. Suddenly, after his minutes of emulating a statue, the kid perked himself up to his full height and began to speaking about a mile a miute.

"I've been thinking, and reading…I did lots of research on this, and I talked with my friends at school, and my teachers, including Ms Hawkings, even though I really don't think she really knows that much, but she definitely knows what she's talking about on this, and statistics are on my side…." He took a breath, "And I know you really care about me, and only want what's best for me, and I absolutely think this is very important, because you want me to grow to be a responsible adult, and so does mummy and so does Ms. June and even Neal wants me to, and Mozzie doesn't but only because he's worried about bureaucratic mind control, but everyone else agrees, that I think you should do this." He paused again, now taking multiple deep breaths, his tiny chest heaving from exertion.

The agent just looked at him. "Do what Ender?"

Ender took another breath about to speak then stopped short and took two more. Peter was a little worried he'd pass out. "Sit." He ordered kicking out the chair.

The kid dropped down, took one last breath then spoke again. "You're supposed to give me an allowance." With that he shoved his thumb in his mouth and now stared at Peter with two of the saddest blue eyes the man thought he'd ever seen.

"I'm supposed to huh?" He asked, wondering what had suddenly brought this up. Neal had probably put him up to it.

Ender just nodded, and continued to suck on his thumb.

"Any particular reason why you need an allowance?"

"Thi thust thold thou." Came the reply.

Peter reached out and pulled the kid's thumb away, nodding for him to repeat the phrase even though he already knew what he had said. "I just told you."

"Well assuming I could even followed all that, before you almost passed out from lack of oxygen, 'my friends told me', isn't a viable reason. I mean, aren't these the same friends who wanted to build a rocket pack out of an old vacuum cleaner, and try to fly like Iron Man. You guys are lucky diesel doesn't light that easily."

"I had nothing to do with that." Ender scowled. "And they aren't the only ones. Ms June said she gave all her kids an allowance every week, five dollars each and that was years ago. So with inflation, I should get lots of tons more."

"June said that huh," Peter just nodded matter-o-factly, to which Ender quickly shook his head up and down.

"So if mom and I were to give you an allowance, what would you used it for?"

Ender looked down then back up again. "Important stuff."

"What sort of important stuff?" Peter tried again.

"Important stuff that I need." Ender concluded.

Peter decided this was turning into a fun conversation. "Like what? What do you need?"

"Things that I don't have."

"What sort of important things do you need, that you don't have because I'll be happy to take you to the store right now and buy them for you." The agent countered.

Ender scrunched up his face and pouted. "Okay, maybe it's not important stuff that I need," he huffed. "But it's important stuff that I want and that should count for something."

"So what sort of things do you want to buy with your allowance?"

"Important things."

Peter just shook his head. "You said that, I want specifics."

"Stuff for me, that I like."

"You don't like any of the things mommy and I got you. You want us to take everything back to the store, including Cafall."

Ender immediately shook his head. "Noooo. You're not being nice. I just want my own money to buy my own things. And according to Oprah, Dr Phil and Kim Kardashian it teaching kids to be more responsible."

"Where do you get this from?" Peter shook his head then just held up his hands to indicate he didn't want to know. "Okay," he finally allowed. "But I want to know what you want so much that mommy and I haven't bought for you."

"Stuff…" Ender wailed. "Why can't I have my own money to buy my own things? All the other kids in my class get an allowance, and so I need one too."

"Every person in the entire class."

Ender nodded. "Yes. Everyone I've talked to."

"So how many kids have you talked to?"

"Five."

"And since that's practically 100% out of a class of twenty…" Peter added on.

"Please, I almost never ask for anything, and you don't have to give me a lot and practically everyone in the whole office thinks you should give me one so I can learn…" Ender paused trying to consider the right word, "Fiscal responsibility."

"The entire office." Peter questioned to which Ender vigorously nodded again.

"Yes, they even signed a petition. See?" He reached into his pocket and pulled a wrinkled and folded piece of paper, which he carefully unfolded to reveal row upon row of signatures.

Peter yanked it out of the kid's small hands. "Let me see that." He perused the paper. "All these people signed this, saying I should give you an allowance? They actually signed it themselves, knowing what they were signing for?"

"Yes," Ender replied. "Look." He pointed at one of the signatures. "Even your boss Mr. Hughes signed it. And you always gotta do what the bosses say."

Peter shook his head. "Fine, so what do Oprah and Dr Phil and Kim think a fair weekly allowance is?"

Ender didn't even hesitate. "Twenty dollars."

Peter almost choked. "You are not getting twenty dollars a week, try one dollar."

"A dollar. You can't even buy a soda with a dollar."

"Well, considering you don't like to drink soda that shouldn't be a problem."

"Fifteen?"

"Two."

Ender's jaw dropped. "That's not fair, I dropped five whole dollars, and you only went up one."

"Considering it's my money, I think that's fair."

"Fine fourteen."

"You still haven't told me what you need to buy that's so important."

"Ten?" Ender abandoned his negotiation and tried for the sad eyes and pouting lip he had probably used to get everyone to sign his petition.

Peter sighed. He knew he was going to regret this, but if they didn't come to some sort of consensus he would never hear the end of it. "Five dollars, and that's the best you're going to do." He pulled out his wallet and held out a five, tightening his grip on it, when Ender reached out excitedly to take it.

"But, ff I ever find out you used this money to do anything illegal or dangerous, or even semi-illegal, this ends, am I clear."

"Crystal." Ender nodded, and then turned and flounced away, grinning like he'd stolen the moon, money clenched in his tiny fist.


The next day at the office, Peter looked from his desk to see Neal, standing in the doorway, staring at him with a pair of big blue eyes.

"Peter…" He began.

"No."