AN: Hey, hey! Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season. Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it.
I clasped my hands behind my back as I zoned in and out of the conversation Regina was having with her mother. The soft clink of silverware harmonized with their droll gossip as the King accompanied with unappetizing snuffling noises emitted around half masticated food, oblivious and uninvited to the women's interaction. The morning breakfast routine never failed to bore me into submission. Cora, of course, did not allow me to sit with them during the meal, so I waited in the corner of the room with the other servants, condemned to uncomfortable silence. Adding to the bland atmosphere was their emotional habits. I noticed that none of the royals seemed to flourish in the morning, causing any conversation that took place to remain shallow and civil, boring. All dramatic topics and elevated feelings, which translated to entertainment, emerged during the multiple courses of dinner.
Sighing, I let my eyes wander to Regina. They did that often, and of their own accord. I accepted the opportunity of her distraction to study her features, indulging in the warm tingle the curves of her face and depth of her eyes inspired within me. I couldn't gather enough interest to comprehend the details of their conversation, but her expression betrayed her attempt to appear enthusiastic about the subject. I could detect the lack of sparkle in her caramel eyes, the tightness in her smile, and the flat tone to her voice. Even if Regina had never confided in me about her strained relationship with her mother, I would have deduced it on my own. Observing mother and daughter, the distance between them shone darkly, like a canyon nestled between two towering mountains. As much as I despised the Queen, a part of my heart ached at the sadness the cold relationship invoked in the woman I loved. Her mother may have been unworthy of anyone's care, but Regina still desired her affection.
Lost in my consideration of the two, several moments passed before I registered the dark, inquisitive eyes reaching for mine. Our gazes locked, launching a silent exchange between our minds and hearts. For her part, over the last month, Regina had done precisely as she promised. No superfluous words were spoken to each other, no special time spent, no physical contact beyond necessary aid, and no activities enjoyed together. We were not friends. I was her maid and she my master. However, an unforseen side effect of the arrangement had begun to present itself within the past few weeks. Before our decision to obey boundaries, we had experienced a few instances where we seemed to communicate by means of linked gazes and silent messages. But, when we no longer engaged in friendly conversations, our souls stretched for a connection elsewhere. That meant that more and more often we entertained discussions and interactions that no one else was aware of or privy to. Somehow, our action to end our friendship created a far more intimate bond.
Though I had become familiar with the sensations, it still stole my breath each time it happened. Time seemed to slow, eliminating any influence of or effect on others. Emotions swirled and swelled from the dark depths and up to the gold flecked surface of her eyes. A fiery chill wicked from the bottom of my spine to the base of my skull, inflaming everything in between. My lungs stuttered as my heart drummed a rhythm that was both unnatural and pleasurable. Flushed skin prickled, and I shifted on my feet, itching to establish a physical connection to match the emotional one. I found that those moments inspired three main feelings; love, lust, and desperation. Sometimes all were present, sometimes one, sometimes a combination of two. That particular moment spawned desire, a perfect mixture of love and lust. My need and want to be close to her bubbled from the pit of my stomach and expanded to fill every limb, every ounce of consciousness. My heartbeat thundered through my veins and settled between my legs. I could actually feel my eyes darken, and watched as hers reacted in kind. We may not have soundly acknowledged the nature of our affections toward one another, but the past few weeks had revealed much. I had come to understand that her feelings toward me were evolving consistently, each day drawing closer to matching mine. I started to believe she was falling in love with me. Of course, that revelation changed nothing of our situation, but it soothed my fractured heart, dulling the pain with misguided hope and camaraderie. Her full lips quirked into a soft smile as she tucked a strand of chocolate hair behind her ear. My tongue peeked out to wet my lips as I tried to suppress my answering grin. A coughing fit from the king as he choked on his food broke our connection. Time increased to a normal speed, causing me to blink repeatedly and suck in a sharp breath.
The effects of our moment lingered as I attempted to regain my bearings. However, just as I began to feel right-side-up again, a husky voice sent me into another spin, "Emma, my glass is empty." Her command was gentle, but firm, mindful of our audience.
I nodded and retrieved the pitcher of orange juice from the serving shelf and approached her chair. Leaning only a fraction too close, I let my hair fall over my shoulder, draping to obstruct Cora's view of our faces. My mouth nearly grazed her ear as I uttered in a low tone, "Allow me to remedy your need, your highness." I saw her shudder as I refilled her glass. The closeness of her heated skin, and the smell of her hair made the task exceedingly more difficult than expected, but I managed to accomplish it without complications.
"Thank you." Her verbal response came in a breathy mumble, as her body responded by squirming in her cushioned seat.
As I resumed my original post, Cora shifted her calculating stare between the less-than-regal appearing princess and her flustered servant. Her mouth opened to undoubtedly question the confusing scene, but a firm knock on the dining hall door stole her focus. "Come in." Her barked order echoed in the room.
"Your Majesty, a visitor has arrived and is insisting on an audience with you and the King." Marco announced apologetically.
"Who dares arrive without invitation or expectation?" Cora demanded.
"Prince Jefferson."
Cora's dark eyes widened, and a smile stretched across her face, not warming her features in the slightest. "Show him in."
In the moments we waited for the new arrival, I felt dread start to bloom in my stomach. Finding Regina's eyes, I easily picked up the worry clouding them. At that moment, Jefferson remained the only somewhat viable suitor for Regina, so his presence could mark a sooner end to whatever was forming between the princess and myself.
"Good Morning, your majesties." Jefferson entered with a low bow and charming smile. "I apologize for my sudden and unannounced appearance, but an opportunity to detour here presented itself, and I seized it immediately."
"Nonsense. You are most welcome here at any time. Would you care to join us?" Cora's sweetness seemed to capture all the air in the room and leave everyone drowning in pretense.
"I would be honored, but I'm afraid I must keep my visit brief. I have come to announce my interest and intentions toward your daughter." I gulped down the fear and anger as I glared at the side of his head. He spoke as if Regina didn't sit in the same room. "I would like to officially ask for her hand in marriage."
Cora gasped and smiled, I closed my eyes in pain, Regina silently pleaded for her father to speak up, and the King just watched the scene unfold. "Of course, she accepts your generous offer." Cora spoke when everyone else failed to utter a word.
Every part of me, save my mouth, screamed in protest of her agreement. I was going to lose her if she entered an engagement with the prince. I caught her widened and panicked gaze, conversing in another intimate moment, this one containing only one of the prominent emotions: desperation. Jefferson answered Cora's statement, "Ah, while I appreciate your blessing, I do not wish for official acceptance of the offer to come from any mouth except for the princess's." He turned his focus to Regina, "Princess, I do intend to propose properly, but I would like to court you first. I don't feel that you should enter into this without your consent. And, I would very much like for us to learn more about each other before arrangements are made."
I glared at the side of his well kept face, cursing the fact that he seemed to be a genuinely good guy. At the very least, if I ended up losing her to that prince, he would be kind to her. Regina stared at Jefferson, studying him. When she remained silent, Cora filled the void, "That's a very kind offer. Regina, answer the Prince that has traveled so far to speak with you." Her voice grew sharp and full of warning.
Regina blinked and pulled in a breath, "Prince Jefferson, your proposition is fair and flattering, but I-" She cut off as her mother placed a hand on her arm and fixed her icy eyes on her daughter. With an audible gulp, Regina forced a smile on her face and continued, "I would be honored."
My stomach clenched as my jaw tightened. Regina seemed a bit nauseous as the words left her mouth. Jefferson bowed again, "Excellent. I will return this way in a weeks time. For now, I must depart. Thank you." With that he made his exit.
"I'm happy that you made the right choice for once, Regina." Cora drawled.
"I didn't make a choice, mother. You didn't give me one." Regina practically growled.
"As if you have any. You seem to repel every suitor that has shown interest in marriage. Prince August being a prime example." With that, she aimed a withering glare at me.
"He was a pig." Regina mumbled.
"Perhaps, but it matters not. You will marry who I tell you. You need to start putting the kingdom first. The kingdom will need a king once you become queen. At some point, you will have to surrender your childish notions of love and freedom. And, that starts with marrying Prince Jefferson when he asks."
Regina shook her head and sprung up from the table, stomping out of the dining hall. Tipping my head in shallow bow, I moved to follow the brooding princess. I hadn't seen the direction she had gone, but knowing her as I did, I commanded my feet toward the library. Letting myself in, I didn't hesitate before heading to the very back room on the left and pulled back the heavy, velvet, maroon colored curtain. The small, dim room held several shelves of her most prized books. "How did you know where to find me?" Her small voice wavered from the other side of a shelf.
I grinned softly as I rounded the corner, "I know that when you're really angry, you go to the stables. When you're sad you go to the Koi pond in the garden. When you're stressed you go upstairs to the music room and play your piano. And, I know that when you feel out of control or panicked, you come here." Something about the dark, confined, silent room comforted her. Like the pressure of a hug soothes the nerves.
She paced up and down the tiny aisle, wringing her hands. She paused for a moment to send me a brief smile, "I should have known you would know that." I leaned against the shelf as she resumed pacing. Her next words were nearly a whisper, "I don't know if I can refuse him, Emma...I want to, but...Mother is not entirely wrong. I have duties I need to fulfill and Jefferson is the first decent man to show interest. If I deny him, I may be forced to accept someone worse...but, I...I..." She covered her face with her hands as she finally stopped pacing and slid down a shelf to sit on the floor.
Pulling in a long breath, I moved to her side and lowered myself down next to her. I felt at a loss for words. We hadn't spoken in an informal way for a month, and I seemed to have forgotten how. Finally, I slipped my hand into hers, quietly addressing her, "Regina, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You are the princess..." I smirked as she raised her head just enough to roll her eyes at my use of her favorite argument-winning phrase. Whenever we disagreed about something, she'd simply declare that she was the princess and therefore correct, or entitled, or superior in skill. "You could just assert that as princess you can possess magical abilities, if you desire, and therefore become capable of eliminating your mother with a fireball produced from your hand."
This time, a slight, but genuine smile graced her beautiful face, "That's ridiculous, but I do love that story."
"I know." The princess adored fairy tales. She said that they were full of everything she wanted for her life; hope, love, and adventure. In fact, an ancient and worn volume of fairy tales rested behind her head on the dusty shelf. "And, I know that's not the solution, but I really just wanted to see your smile for a small moment."
After squeezing my hand in response, she asked softly, "In all seriousness, Emma...what should I do?"
"I haven't a clue...well, I suppose that's not entirely correct. I know what you should do for the kingdom. I know what you should do for your mother's ease of mind. I know what you should do for yourself. And, I know what you should do for the happiness of your maid." The last line came in a pained whisper. "However, most of those 'shoulds' do not match each other."
Regina brought her stormy gaze to meet mine, "What should I do for the kingdom?"
"Marry a man worthy of being king. Which, I believe Jefferson to be."
Regina furrowed her brow, but nodded slowly, apparently agreeing with my answer. "What should I do to ease my mother's mind?"
"Marry Prince Jefferson, rule the kingdom as she deems fit, and produce heirs."
A frown and a nod answered that statement. "So, essentially, my 'should' for the kingdom and 'should' for my mother could be satisfied with choosing Prince Jefferson." When I offered a nod of confirmation, she continued, "What should I do for myself?"
At this, I smiled and stroked my thumb over the back of her hand, "Find someone that makes you wildly happy. Someone that sees every part of your incredible soul. Someone that you love as much as they love you. Someone that promises adventure, freedom, romance, and safety. And, marry that someone and rule the kingdom as the benevolent, amazing queen you're destined to be."
I watched her throat shift as she swallowed thickly, then whispered, "I like the sound of that...and, what should I do for the happiness of my maid?"
"Kiss her."
She gasped at my bold declaration. I don't think I intended to say those words, I'm not certain I even had a concrete thought when I first uttered the part about my happiness. I had allowed my instincts to take the reins, that the result was a long overdue verbalization of my truest and deepest wish. Both sets of cheeks flushed as our eyes met in an appraising gaze. Each attempting to determine the thoughts of the other, she evaluating the seriousness of my implied request, and I seeking signs of mutual desire. Her trembling voice sliced through the tense, but miniscule, space between us, "Could kissing her satisfy my 'should' for me and my 'should' for her?"
A sad smile stretched my quivering lips, "The first part, the part about finding someone to make you happy, yes. But, not the part about ruling the kingdom. A woman slave would never serve as an appropriate partner for the queen. As such, the satisfaction of the kingdom and the satisfaction of the people in this room are mutually exclusive." I continued to whisper as our faces grew closer, our shoulders pressing together, and fingers gripping as if they held a life line.
Her voice came equally as soft, breath washing over my parted lips, "So it would seem." Loaded moments passed, emotions and challenges volleying between us. Finally, she spoke in a gravelly voice, "You're absolutely no help at all."
I grinned, our faces remaining only inches apart, "I am not the princess, your highness. I would never presume to make your decisions for you."
She smirked in return, rolling her eyes, "That has not been my experience in the year and half you've been here."
Choosing to refrain from answering, we let the levity drain from our expressions and discussion. I wanted so badly to eliminate the nominal distance between us and kiss her. I wanted to be able to physically express everything I couldn't say with words. However, I needed the princess to move first. I told her what I wanted, and she had to choose what to do with it. When more moments came and went without action from her, I reached out and cupped her jaw. A small gasp rewarded my efforts, and she leaned into my touch. Her skin felt warm and smooth under my fingers, and I grazed the tips down her elegant neck to her collarbone before pulling away. Sighing, I used every ounce of will I possessed to push myself to my feet and offer my hand to her, "If you're ready, Daniel is waiting for your lesson." I couldn't hide the disappointment in my voice at the demise of an opportunity and the necessity to leave our comfortable seclusion.
Regina allowed me to pull her to her feet, nodding in acknowledgment. "I suppose I am ready."
She walked to the door, pausing when she realized I wasn't following. When her questioning gaze trained on me, I lightly gestured toward the entrance, "Go ahead, I'll be along in a moment." My feet felt rooted to the floor, likely desperately clinging to the lingering hope in that specific spot. I had been so close to getting what I longed for from Regina, and I needed a moment to mourn the loss.
Without a word, Regina exited the darkened room. I turned and rested my forehead on a chilled book. A long sigh hissed from my mouth as my eyes slipped shut. My hand clenched into a fist before I pounded it into the shelf twice, physically venting my frustration. As the stinging hand fell to my side, I suddenly felt soft fingers wrap around my wrist. I had no time to process what was happening as the fingers pulled, spinning me to face a determined princess. The fingers left my wrist followed by two sets slipping along my cheeks, tugging my face to hers. Her eyes searched mine, seeking any sign of disapproval. Finding no resistance, she crushed her lips to mine.
Regina's momentum forward caused my back to bump roughly into the rows of books behind me, releasing a groan of pain, pleasure, and shock. Her sinfully soft lips began to move, mine instantly following her lead. Crackling energy sparked from our mouths, seared a path through my veins, and boiled in my stomach. I felt my world shatter and reform around the singular moment, creating an unrecognizable but far superior reality. Even a few seconds in, I knew I could never exist as I once did. That moment would determine all next steps in my life, all emotions, all desires, and all heart breaks. Nothing in my life would ever be untouched by the influence of our first kiss.
Our kiss was strong, gentle, exploring, familiar, intimate, exhilarating, tender, and aggressive. It was everything I dared to dream, plus many things I hadn't. Her lips were soft and firm against my own, hungry with a need I fully understood. My hands slid delightedly down her sides, resting on her hips as they pressed into me. Intending to take anything the experience could offer, I traced my tongue over her bottom lip, eager to feel hers against mine. A deep, satisfied moan came from the princess as our tongues met, spreading a cleansing and devastating wildfire through our bodies. My hips surged forward, seeking friction and relief, as her hands slid up my jaw and gripped the base of my skull, pressing me harder against her mouth.
After an eternity that seemed to pass in an single blink, my lungs begged for air, straining against the inferno of desire raging between us. Forced to finally pull away, I rested my forehead on hers, our breath panting into the other's face. My fingers gripped tightly into her sides, attempting to steady myself as well as her trembling body.
Then, as suddenly as she had come, she retreated. She released my neck, and pulled free of my embrace. Never allowing our eyes to meet, she spun on her heels and disappeared beyond the curtain. The only evidence that she had been there at all existed in my heaving chest, rampant heartbeat, shaking knees, and the lingering taste of Regina on my lips.
AN: Let me know what you thought, happy holidays!
