Chapter 7

Deanna was up early the next morning, partly due to her morning sickness and partly due to the fact that she needed to speak to Jean-Luc about Beverly receiving her personal logs. She wondered idly as she left their quarters, why she had felt perfectly fine before she found out she was expecting and only now felt sick. With a sigh, she headed next door to Jean-Luc's quarters, knowing he was alone.

"Hello, Deanna," he greeted her from the table where he was eating a breakfast of coffee and croissants. Deanna had just left Beverly eating exactly the same breakfast next door.

"Beverly is going to be receiving her old personal logs and files at some point," Deanna said, coming straight to the point.

Jean-Luc put his coffee cup down and gestured to the chair in front of him. Deanna sat down heavily on the chair.

"She is going to find out," Deanna added.

"What is she going to find out exactly?" Jean-Luc said slowly. "Beverly and I were very good friends. We were never more than that. I haven't cheated on her."

"It's not that I am worried about," she answered. "You are still in love with Beverly. There is no getting around that."

"Deanna, I have married Briggy," he said. "I love my wife. Nothing is going to change that. When Beverly remembers who she is fully, we will be back to what we were before. We will be best friends."

Deanna was sure Beverly wouldn't think that. It would have been true if it weren't for the night Deanna had spent alone with Beverly on Betazed drinking the very potent spirit Dumdum. A very sweet, very popular, and very alcoholic drink. It was the week before Deanna was to be married to Will Riker and they had been talking about their love lives. Both were very drunk when Beverly confessed to Deanna that she was, and had been for a very long time, in love with Jean-Luc. She had been spurred into action by Deanna's wedding; she wanted to tell Jean-Luc how she felt. She had been very open with her feelings, and Deanna knew that it wasn't all down to the Dumdum. Something told Deanna that Jean-Luc was in line for some serious home truths… but if it hadn't have been for Beverly going missing a few weeks later, Deanna knew she would have made her move on Jean-Luc.

Deanna could have told Jean-Luc that Beverly was in love with him right there and then, but she didn't want to overstep the mark. Beverly would not appreciate it, no matter what Deanna's reasons were.

"I have decided," he said. "That when Beverly's memories begin to surface, I will speak to her then. Alone."

"So you do think that there is something to worry about then?" Deanna dared ask.

Jean-Luc's jaw twitched. "Beverly will understand."

Deanna decided to leave it at that. Jean-Luc was in denial. He was trapped in a difficult position, but just wouldn't admit it to himself. Surely he knows Beverly is in love with him?

"Have your personal logs arrived yet?" Briggy called loudly as she breezed into Beverly's quarters. She paused to watch Deanna making her bed in the living area. "Did you just wake up?"

"No," Deanna answered. "I was feeling a little nauseous so I laid down for an hour or so. Beverly isn't actually here."

"She isn't?" Briggy said. "I think I'm going to get her a communicator so that I can find her when I want to."

"Beverly is having some lunch with the captain in Ten Forward," Deanna said delicately.

Briggy at once looked away from Deanna as she tried hard to suppress her jealousy. "He didn't tell me," she blurted before she could stop herself.

Deanna wandered over and sat herself down on the armchair nearest to Briggy. "Beverly mentioned that Jean-Luc had asked her to lunch this morning; probably after you had left for your appointments."

"Have I got anything to worry about, Deanna?" Briggy asked, her eyes drilling into Deanna's. "I am serious, you have to tell me."

"Not that I know of," she answered as coolly as she possibly could.

"Were Beverly and Jean-Luc lovers?" Briggy asked, having never received definite answers to any of these questions before from Deanna. Deanna somehow avoided answering these types of questions.

That was a question Deanna could answer. "No."

"So what is it with them?" Briggy asked.

"They are friends," Deanna answered. "Very close friends. They shared many life changing experiences with each other. They have been friends for almost four decades."

"Yadda yadda yadda," Briggy said sarcastically, having heard it all before.

"What more do you want me to say, Briggy?" Deanna asked. "Do you want me to tell you that Jean-Luc will probably have an affair with Beverly?"

"No, of course not!"

"Well, I can tell you for sure right here and now that Jean-Luc isn't the kind of man who would ever cheat on anyone. He is an honest man and I would have thought you would have known that considering you are married to him."

"I do know that," Briggy said y. "I just…"

"You what?"

"It's just that everyone else seems to know Jean-Luc better than I do," she said softly.

Deanna snorted. "That's ridiculous!" she exclaimed. "You know him better than anyone. He has told you everything. He cried on your shoulder many a time after you had broken down his defences…"

"I bet he's cried on Beverly's shoulder…" Briggy muttered, climbing to her feet.

"Seriously," Deanna called as Briggy headed for the door, "there isn't anything to worry about."

"Yet," Briggy snapped, disappearing through the doors.

Beverly sat at a quiet corner table in Ten Forward watching Briggy speaking privately to her husband. Briggy had arrived a few minutes ago and asked Jean-Luc for a word.

She thinks I'm stepping on her toes, she thought. Another thought crossed her mind; but am I? Beverly took a sip of drink, and carried on tucking into her lunch. She didn't want Briggy to suspect her of spying on their private chat.

"Sorry about that," Jean-Luc said, returning to his seat. He looked a little hot under the collar. "Ship's business."

Beverly knew it wasn't, but she kept quiet. She suddenly realised that she was attracted to Jean-Luc. The mere thought took her breath away. At that moment, Beverly was speculating whether it was her right now getting those feelings for Jean-Luc or was she simply remembering that she found Jean-Luc extremely attractive.

"What is that look for?" Jean-Luc asked after a while. Beverly was gazing at him with her fork in midair; a cherry tomato speared onto the end.

"What look?" Beverly asked, shaking her head.

"You were staring at me."

She shrugged and popped the tomato into her mouth. "I didn't realise I was."

As Jean-Luc continued to chat about his week, seemingly forgetting that Beverly had been gazing openly at him before, Beverly allowed her mind to wander. She realised now why Briggy seemed to be on edge around her. Perhaps Briggy knew she was attracted to her husband. Maybe that was why Briggy didn't want to leave Jean-Luc alone in her company because she was afraid Beverly might try something.

Would I? Beverly thought. "Maybe I already have!"

"Maybe you… what?" Jean-Luc asked. He had been in the middle of telling Beverly about a conflict raging between two planets when Beverly had rudely interrupted him.

Beverly flushed red in embarrassment, she laughed shyly. "Sorry, I um…"

"Wasn't listening to me," Jean-Luc finished for her.

"I was," she lied.

Jean-Luc shook his head and smiled. "No, you weren't."

Beverly gave him a sheepish look and bowed her head coyly. "I was half listening," she said softly. "I am sorry. It's just that my mind seems to be working overtime after my operation. I am always remembering things and it puts me off of what I'm doing…"

"Apology accepted," he answered, giving her one of his rare smiles. "I can't imagine what you are going through. I'm having a hard time myself."

Beverly looked up in concern. "Oh?"

"Well…" he said, and shook his head, "it is like having dinner with a stranger. No offence."

"None taken," Beverly answered right away.

Jean-Luc smiled in relief. "To be honest, I am running out of things to talk about. I can't think of anything that would interest you… at the moment. Because you can't remember Starfleet… me…"

"I remember you," Beverly said softly.

Jean-Luc coughed a little. "You do?"

Beverly nodded. "Not a lot, but I do remember your presence."

"My presence," Jean-Luc repeated slowly, raising his eyebrows and pretending he was worried.

"I remember I can trust you," she said. "And I feel safe around you."

"That's always good to hear," he said, his eyes looking sad for a moment.

"It's a compliment," Beverly assured him. She had noticed the sad look in his eyes and wondered why he felt that way.

"Maybe it would be better if you decided what we should talk about," he said, recovering his momentary lapse.

Beverly grinned mischievously. "You know…" she said, drawing her words out tantalisingly slowly. "Deanna told me all about that holodeck of yours. I haven't been yet and it sounds fascinating."

"The holodeck…"

"I know you have to go back on duty soon, but what about when you finish this evening?" Beverly asked. "Do you want to show me around? If you aren't doing anything that is."

"I would love to," he answered. "Of course you can choose the program."

"You trust me to do that?"

"I trust you," he answered, he got to his feet. "I have to get back to the bridge and I will see you later. I'll pick you up as soon as I can."

Beverly wandered back along the various corridors of the Enterprise, lost in her thoughts as she made her way back to her quarters. She was now convinced that whatever Deanna was hiding from her had something to do with her attraction to Jean-Luc.

"How did it go?" Deanna asked as soon as she walked inside.

"Fine," Beverly answered softly. "Are you feeling any better?"

Deanna nodded. "I'm feeling fine now. I just ate a massive mint chocolate chip ice-cream sundae. Actually, I could probably eat another one right now."

Beverly smiled. "Go for it. You are eating for two now."

"You know I might just do that," Deanna said, heading towards the replicator. "Want one?"

"No thanks," Beverly laughed. "I think I'll leave all the sundaes to you. What's this for?" she added after spying Deanna's suitcase parked at the bottom of the makeshift bed.

Deanna looked at Beverly over the top of her sundae. "I have to go home tomorrow morning," she answered. "I want to spend some time with my husband to celebrate."

"Oh," Beverly said, sounding sad. "Will you be coming back?"

"I will be, yes," Deanna answered. "Probably in a week or so. Will is trying to get some time off so he can come and see you."

"Is your job suffering on the Titan while you are here?" Beverly asked seriously.

Deanna shook her head. "Not really," she answered. "There are two other counsellors on board. They are both sharing my job while I'm here."

"That's good," Beverly said.

"Is there something on your mind, Beverly?" Deanna asked.

Beverly blinked in surprise. "No… nothing." Beverly wished Deanna wasn't able to sense her emotions, it was very disconcerting. She was eager to change the subject. "I am going to see the holodeck this evening with Jean-Luc."

Deanna's spoon paused in midair, the ice cream slipped off and landed unceremoniously on her uniform jacket. "To do what?" she asked, ignoring the ice cream for a moment.

Beverly shrugged. "He said it was my choice. I was wondering if you had any ideas."

Cold showers? Deanna thought.

"Why are you going to the holodeck?" Deanna asked.

"Because it's almost as if we are getting to know each other again," Beverly answered. "Jean-Luc doesn't know what to speak to me about anymore. It's actually quite uncomfortable between us at the moment."

"I have to go… out," Deanna said, setting her ice cream glass down inside the reclaimator. "I'll be back before you leave."

"Okay," Beverly said, staring at closed doors after Deanna had rushed off.

Beverly was having great fun replicating all the clothes in the computers catalogue in her size. She had mounds of clothes all over her bed and floor when Briggy arrived.

"What are you doing?" Briggy asked, a smirk crossing her pretty face.

Beverly hadn't heard Briggy enter and jumped. "I'm, um…"

"Raiding the stores by the looks of it," Briggy laughed. "Are you planning on going somewhere special?"

Beverly fell down on the bed amongst the piles of clothes and sighed heavily. "No, I just decided that I needed to get some more clothes. I only had the few things I replicated on my first night here and what I was given by Deanna."

"Ah," Briggy said. "You are gaining your independence."

"You could say that," Beverly said, nodding.

"Do you need any help?"

"Probably to clear this mess up," Beverly laughed. She wondered if Briggy believed in the saying 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer'. If she did, things made a lot more sense.

"Okay, I'll fold and you can hang," Briggy said, getting right down to business. "I hear you and Jean-Luc are going to the holodeck this evening," she said as she pulled a pile of clothes towards her and began the task of clearing away.

"That's right," Beverly replied. "Aren't you joining us?" she added, trying to placate Briggy's jealousy.

"I have to work," Briggy said with a sigh. "I have to work my schedule around my patients' duty shifts so I often work out of hours."

"That's a shame," Beverly sighed, secretly happy.

"Have you thought about what program you would like to run?"

"I was looking through the options on the computer," Beverly answered. "I came across a few that sound really interesting; but I haven't decided yet."

Briggy smiled, but Beverly saw through the smile. "Did you receive your personal logs yet?"

"No, I'm expecting them tomorrow." She wondered what it was that had Briggy so intrigued. It seemed like Briggy was more impatient to receive them than she was. "Deanna is leaving tomorrow morning for the Titan."

"Oh yes," Briggy nodded. "She told me this afternoon. Are you going with her?"

"With her?" Beverly stopped what she was doing and looked at the woman opposite her.

"Oh sorry, I must have got things muddled up." Briggy shrugged.

"Why?" Beverly asked. "What did you hear?"

"Oh, it's nothing."

Beverly knew Briggy was goading her, but she really wanted to hear what she had to say. "Come on, tell me."

"Well, it's just that Deanna is pregnant now," Briggy answered. "And it maybe stressful for her to keep travelling between the Enterprise and the Titan and that it might be better for you to go to the Titan with her. Jean-Luc mentioned something about it to me. I probably got it wrong."

"Deanna never said anything to me," Beverly said, knowing instantly that Briggy was trying to get rid of her and it hurt.

Briggy shrugged once again. "Maybe she didn't want to ask."

Briggy was underestimating Beverly's intelligence and Beverly smiled inwardly, knowing that two people could play that game. She decided there and then not to reveal anything else about any memories returning to her. She would play dumb. She would catch them out and discover whatever it was that she wasn't supposed to find out.

Beverly got the desired reaction from Jean-Luc when he arrived to collect her to take her to the holodeck for the evening. It's not one-sided attraction! She had dressed herself in a tight black knee length skirt, high heeled shoes that strapped up around her ankles, and a clingy satin shirt. She had paid special attention to her makeup and hair and had even surprised Deanna with her sexy look.

"You do realise the men on the holodeck aren't real don't you?" Deanna had said when Beverly had appeared in the living area where she was sat writing a letter to her husband.

Jean-Luc swallowed hard; all at once he was confronted with his sexual desire for the redhead standing in front of him seemingly oblivious to the fact.

"Are you joining us, Deanna?" he asked, hoping Deanna would consent to be the buffer.

Deanna looked up from the book she was reading on pregnancy. "I have to pack I'm afraid," she answered, thinking that Jean-Luc deserved this. He had basically ignored her warnings.

"Let's go," Beverly said, smiling sweetly at him.

Jean-Luc followed Beverly out of the door, trying his hardest to keep his focus on Beverly's shoulders and not her backside. "I have decided what program we are going to run," Beverly said as she paused to allow him to catch up with her.

"Should I be worried?" Jean-Luc asked.

Beverly raised a playful eyebrow. "Well, I don't know," she answered. "It depends on how strong your stomach is. It's probably a good thing you are going with a qualified doctor."

"But you can't remember anything," he said, sounding worried.

"You want perfection, Jean-Luc?" she teased.

I want you…

"I'm taking you motor racing," she said happily.

"Motor racing?" Jean-Luc asked, intrigued. He imagined watching the racing, betting on who would win, and then perhaps a meal afterwards. Jean-Luc soon found out he was severely mistaken. Beverly was in the driving seat.

"Deanna told me all about the safety features here," Beverly said as she buckled herself into the driving seat. She glanced over at Jean-Luc, who was seated to the left of her, pulling on a crash helmet. "So I turned them off," she said nonchalantly.

Jean-Luc was halfway out of the car before Beverly laughed and told him she was kidding. "That's not funny," he insisted as he reluctantly sat back down in the car beside her.

"You're not scared are you?" she teased.

"Of course not, but I would prefer it if I were driving," he answered.

"I passed my test," Beverly replied indignantly.

Jean-Luc frowned. "What test?"

"My driving test," Beverly answered. "After I lost my memory, if I wanted to drive again; well, I thought it was again; I had to pass my test."

"You mean on Kilyan?"

"Of course," Beverly grinned. "I loved it!"

Jean-Luc was about to answer when he was thrown back against the seat as Beverly slammed her foot on the accelerator and the car sped off. Jean-Luc was at least grateful that Beverly had chosen a proper race circuit and not a road complete with other road users. He held on for dear life as Beverly slammed the car around the track and flung it round the corners, squealing with delight.

Jean-Luc hoped that Beverly would get bored eventually and soon she did. But it wasn't soon enough for Jean-Luc's liking.

"What's the matter?" she asked, finding his discomfort amusing.

"I just prefer it when I am in control of the vehicle."

"Well, you don't drive your spaceship," Beverly protested, unable to hide the amusement from her face.

"I give the orders," he answered lamely, knowing exactly what Beverly would say next.

"But you don't actually drive the ship yourself," Beverly teased. "Somebody else does it."

"You sound just like your son!" Jean-Luc exclaimed, shaking his head in delight. "I used to think he got his wittiness from his father, but now I see exactly where it comes from."

Beverly frowned. "Am I acting differently now to my usual self?" she asked.

Jean-Luc shook his head, smiling. "Well I must say you seem a little less…" he paused looking for the right word. "Reserved."

"I'm normally reserved?" she asked slowly.

"Not all the time," Jean-Luc corrected himself, fearing he may have upset her.

"You mean I'm cold?" Beverly asked. She could see that she was getting into an area of conversation that Jean-Luc didn't feel at all comfortable with.

"I…"

"You wish you'd never said anything now, don't you," Beverly said as she turned her attention to the view out of the windscreen. "Because you think I'll resent you for your comments when my memory returns."

Jean-Luc chuckled. "I wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of you."

Beverly peered at him, her curiosity piqued. "So I'm bad tempered, too?"

"That would be an understatement," Jean-Luc said, raising an eyebrow.

"Seriously?" she questioned in amazement. "So if I'm not cold all the time, I'm bad tempered all the time."

"Beverly," he said evenly.

Her head swooned when he said her name that way; she swallowed hard to recover and hoped that Jean-Luc hadn't noticed.

"You have a bad temper," he said slowly. "But you also have quite a lot of patience, too. But when you lose it you really lose it. I've seen grown men cower in front of you!" he chuckled. "And when I said you were a little reserved," he explained, "I meant that you have a front you put on… while you're working, mainly. You have to be detached when you are a doctor. That is simply because you wouldn't be able to function professionally if you allowed yourself to wallow in the pain of your patients."

Beverly sat quietly, thinking over what Jean-Luc had said. "You know, sometimes I wonder if I want to become 'me' again."

"I doubt you've actually gone," Jean-Luc said softly.

Beverly turned blue eyes on him and shot him a questioning look.

"That was the old Beverly I saw there in the hospital the day we discovered you were still alive. You were indignant at being kidnapped and weren't cooperating with the people you thought were your captors. That was the real you."

"That hardly constitutes…" she protested.

Jean-Luc held up a hand diplomatically. "You still have your mischievous streak," he added. "You very much enjoyed scaring me half to death!" he chuckled.

Beverly laughed. "Okay, you got me there!"

"And as far as I'm aware, Deanna said you still have the same tastes in food and clothing and things like that," he added.

"So she says." Beverly nodded. "Speaking of Deanna, you want me to go with her to the Titan?"

"Go with her?" Jean-Luc asked.

Beverly nodded again. "Yes," she said. "Because it's quite stressful for her with all the travelling between ships now that she is expecting a baby."

"But the Titan is only two hours away by shuttlecraft," he answered. "In my opinion, the journey isn't stressful."

Beverly frowned. "Oh," she said slowly as she tried to bait him.

"Who told you I wanted you to leave with Deanna?" he asked, taking the bait hook, line, and sinker.

"Briggy," she answered. "She told me that perhaps Deanna didn't want to ask me to go with her; probably meaning that I should suggest it."

"And I was the one who mentioned this to Briggy?" Jean-Luc asked.

"I got that impression; yes."

Jean-Luc shook his head. "We probably got our wires muddled up somewhere along the way. You don't have to leave with Deanna. Deanna is only going for a week and you're not in serious emotional turmoil… you aren't are you?" he added, quickly looking up at Beverly's face.

"No, I'm fine." Beverly smiled reassuringly.

"Good," Jean-Luc said with a nod of satisfaction. "I don't think I want you off of my ship for a long, long time. You've already been away far too long."

"That's sweet," she answered, smiling.