There was quiet in the room as they realized she'd finished her impromptu speech. Then they glanced around at each other for a moment before Leroy nodded.

"Dwarves will take the first watch at the town line tonight."

"I'll get back and tell the other fairies. Don't worry," Blue assured her as she opened her mouth to offer another warning, "they're trust worthy. I'll make sure not to set off a panic."

It happened too fast, almost too easily, one by one the dwarves filed out the door. Archie volunteered to drive Mother Superior back to the convent since he wanted to go check on Marco and August. He drew her attention back to him with a touch of the elbow and asked if she'd be okay, if she needed anything.

It was funny how upset such a kind gesture could make her. It seemed like only yesterday she'd gone to his funeral, that she'd regretted not getting to know him while he'd been alive. They hadn't had any interaction since that day, and while she was glad for that, she was also upset because she knew why they hadn't. If she'd been herself she would have sought him out, befriended him, she just didn't have the opportunity until now. And, now that she was in a position to accept his help, she didn't want it. She didn't want anything right now. The emotions she'd felt at the docks suddenly began to cascade through her body again, held off temporarily by the urgency of the cloaking spell. But this time, she knew there would be no holding them back. She wasn't going to make it much longer and she didn't want anyone to see her demise.

"Thank you, but, um, I'm-I'm fine for now," she told Archie. Lacey's clever, but unnerving, definition of "fine" crept into her mind from the shadows she'd cast it to. Freaked out. Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional. Much as she hated to admit it, that definition felt dead on at the moment. "I'm fine," she repeated as she attempted a smile, but couldn't quite manage, and had the sense Archie knew it was fake. Still, she was thankful he didn't say anything about it. Just gave her elbow a gentle, encouraging squeeze, offered a supportive smile, and with a "call if you need anything" disappeared with Mother Superior into the dark unknown night.

And she was alone.

Again.

Completely, utterly alone.

The door barely closed before she felt the tears spill out of her eyes. She didn't try to hold them back this time. She didn't try to stop them. Instead, all she did was walk to the door, lock it, and make it as far as the circulation desk before her legs gave out from under her and she crumpled in a heap on the floor. The cold lifeless sobs wracked her body as the memories she didn't want, the memories she didn't need in a time like this, took over her mind. The way she'd stolen clothes. The way she'd dressed in those clothes! The Rabbit Hole. The fights. Worst of all...Keith. She recognized him now. That sheriff, the one they'd met as they searched for Robin Hood, the one that would have happily taken her against her will as payment for information! The one he'd saved her from. And yet, she-Lacey, she'd…he'd…they'd almost…

Her stomach gave a violent lurch and she only just barely made it up and to the bathroom before she emptied the contents of her stomach. Not that there was much to empty. She'd only eaten a bagel that morning, or Lacey had, but she'd had more than enough alcohol; enough to know, in hindsight, that driving on her own to the mine was a stupid thing to do. It must have been sheer luck that she'd been as in control of herself as she had been. Or adrenaline. Lacey might have thought her body was accustomed to that much liquor but her body hadn't been hers! The reason she'd woken up hung over the last two days wasn't because she needed to rebuild her tolerance, it was because she'd never had it in the first place!

She shook her head as she leaned against the bathroom wall, her body still making the sounds and actions of crying long after she had no more tears to shed. Lacey's memories were bad, but they weren't the worst thing circulating through her mind now. "You're not coming back, are you?" "The prophecy. The boy is my undoing, but he's also my grandson, and I must save him. I must do this to honor Baelfire. He's gone, and I didn't even get to say good-bye." "You're not coming back, are you?"

The conversation played on an endless loop in her mind. She'd been proud when he'd said that. Proud of the man that he'd become, the one he had never thought himself capable of being. She was still proud, but it was hard to carry that pride when she had no idea whether or not she'd ever be seeing him again. His undoing. At the time she believed that it wasn't his death, only his personality. The boy had changed him from a man hellbent on saving himself to a man willing to forfeit his own life, he'd been undone! But what if he wasn't wrong. What if he wasn't coming back?

The possibility was too unthinkable to even consider. "The future isn't always what it seems. I will see you again." Those words had been so easy to say when he'd been standing in front of her, when she'd kissed him and considered the long journey the pair had taken to get to that spot. But now that he was gone there was no one to protect her from an outlandish imagination. There was no one to be strong or optimistic for. How did he expect her to go on without him? How did he expect her to live if he-

No!

She didn't know where the sudden flicker of hope and reform came from, but it calmed the churning ocean of darkness she was drowning in and allowed her to at least feel like she was managing to keep her head above water. But only just barely. He believed in her. He'd believed that she could cast the spell, even if he wasn't there to help. She had to believe in him, she had to believe that he could succeed, that he could save Henry, and make his way back to her. And what would he find when he did? What would she say? That she broke without him? That she lost all hope and cried on the bathroom floor?! No. She'd want to say she knew he could do it. She'd want to say that she never for a second believed that he wasn't coming back to her.

It wouldn't be easy to pick herself up off the ground and exist without him. It wouldn't be easy to keep those terrible thoughts away. But she had to fight them, or she had to at least try. She pushed herself up on shaky legs, but felt as if the small bit of courage she'd managed to scrounge up stayed there on the floor. Trying to be strong, not to cry, or tear up again, she began. One foot. And another and another. Before she knew it, she was walking. Out of the bathroom. Through the empty rooms of her cherished library. Up the stairs. Over the landing. And she stopped.

Her hand stilled on the knob of her apartment. She knew what was on the other side. Reminders. Not sweet ones of the two of them. But terrible reminders of how she'd been as Lacey. How she'd treated him. The things she'd said. The property she'd destroyed. She was trying. She was putting up a fight to stay whole and strong. But just the feel of the metal under her hand threatened to break her. One step at a time. One day at a time. She couldn't do what she wasn't strong enough to do. And there was no need to force herself when the memories were still too raw and painful.

She pulled her shaking hand away from the door. She couldn't do it. She wasn't ready. She could barely face the events of today, the events of the last week were something she wasn't prepared for. It was too much. She turned on her heel and sped back down the steps and through the rooms, not even bothering to turn the lights off as she went. The only thing she gave a second thought to was to lock the library doors. If there were strangers in town, she didn't want to make it easy for them. But if she wasn't staying here, then where was she going? She looked at the keys he had left in her possession. The library and the apartment were out. The idea of going to the shop made her muscles tense and the thought of going back to his house, without him, made her want to cry again.

Options, she needed options. She could call Archie, but he'd already gone home, and her phone, like her purse, had been left behind at the hospital. That was one place she was certain she'd never go again. Everything that had happened to her there was just too painful. Her father? No. She knew of his shop now, Game of Thorns, and her alternate personality knew how to get there. But she couldn't be sure that he would still be there! Besides, she hadn't seen her father since that day at the mine, and she really doubted that any conversation the two of them could have at this moment would be helpful or comforting. He'd only think it was good Rumple had left her behind and she was in no mood to hear that right now. But who else was left?!

Ruby. Ruby was left. She wasn't sure where her friend had been today, the last time she'd seen her had been one of the visits she'd paid her in the hospital. But Ruby had single handedly gotten her through the last time she'd been without Rumple, and she was one of the few people in town that she never had to explain herself too when it came to her mischievous partner. And thinking of telling Ruby everything that had happened in the last few days was the first time she felt a swell of peace.

Without another questioning thought she set off down the street. A glance inside the diner told her it was closed, after everything that had happened she couldn't be surprised. But fortunately for her, if the dinner was out of the question then she knew where to look next. The Bed and Breakfast. If Ruby wasn't there, well then she didn't know where else to look for her.

"Ruby?" she called as she let herself into the front of the house, hoping the girl was around and would answer her calls. "Ruby?!"

"Belle?!" Granny stood in the kitchens threshold, her arms crossed and her face stern as ever but still managing to look surprised at her late night visit. "Or is it Lacey?" the woman asked suddenly, her gaze becoming suspicious. She hadn't meant for the comment to be mean. The woman was frank and she always stated exactly what was on her mind, but she was never cruel, at least not to her. Still that didn't keep the word from putting tears in her eyes. The dwarves, Mother Superior, Archie, they hadn't seen her as Lacey, not even Ruby had seen her as Lacey, but Granny had. Although it would have appeared she didn't know it at the time, obviously someone had informed her. Obviously, as she'd feared, and Lacey had hoped, word had made it around town. And it was amazing how determined tears could be to fall when their owners were trying to fight them at every thought.

Suddenly the old woman gave the smallest twitch of her lip that would have qualified for a happy smile if she ever made such a face. She looked her up and down and took in the expression on her face before she finally muttered, "Belle then." She was suddenly very happy she'd put two and two together on her own and she didn't have to be the one to correct her. She didn't know if she could talk about Lacey in any capacity right now. "Ruby's not here," Granny informed her.

"Where-where can I find her? Please, I need to talk to her."

"She's at the hospital."

Her heart leapt into her throat. The hospital? What was she doing there? What happened? "Is...is she hurt? Why is she-"

But the woman was already calmly shaking her head at the assumption. "She fine." She breathed a sigh of relief, but still didn't understand why she'd gone there as the town had fallen to pieces. "But you on the other hand," Granny continued on, "you look like you could use a drink."

A drink? A drink?! A drink was the last thing she needed! That was the last thing she wanted. And she really didn't want this woman who had been nothing but sweet to her to picture her like that ever again. "I can't...I don't-I don't want...that. I just-"

"Belle..." Granny sighed. "I meant some tea," she clarified, looking her over as if it had been the most obvious thing in the world. For the first time since he'd gone, she felt the small trace of a genuine smile fight its way out of her. Tea. Yes, that was something she did need right now. She needed to be herself again in only the smallest way and if she couldn't have him, and if she couldn't talk to Ruby, tea would be a welcome friend.


Okay, I know that this chapter seems dark and depressing and I'm not going to lie the next one kinda is too but really I felt as though I didn't really have a choice. Not if I want to keep this thing realistic and in character because the truth of the situation is that things kinda suck for Belle right now. She's just been through this terrible horrible experience and then to top it all off Rumple leaves. She's a person, a real life human being, and when things suck, she's going to break a little and sometimes even a lot. Now the good news is that there is a resolution coming. Granny is going to be giving her some tough love in the next chapter but after that Ruby will be back because in the world of Fanfiction it doesn't matter if MO is off filming something new and exciting, here Ruby exists and I hope that you will coming to appreciate what I do with her character to explain her absence.

Thank you Grace5231973, Deweymay, and LaurieAHancock for your reviews of the last chapter. I hope you like this one and the next and truly I am sorry that Rumple won't be in this story for a dozen or so chapters but I can't help it. I assume most people read Moments because of how close it follows the story line. Rumple was gone, so I have very little choice. Peace and Happy Reading!