Crimson Starlight poked me. I had no choice but to update.

Meme: Naughty

Universe: G1

Warnings: May or may not take place before "Bathtime." I haven't really decided yet.

Summary: While Sideswipe is mostly indiscriminate about whom he pranks, he's always had two exceptions: Optimus Prime, and Ratchet the Hatchet. This is the story of the third...maybe.

Guest Apperances: Flameshield's OC "Aqua".


"Hey Sunstreaker, you think Prowls been especially tense lately?"

Sunstreaker gave his brother on the berth a sidelong glance from the couch, where he was trying (key word: trying) to get through a book file.

"Sideswipe, if this is your way of asking for my help for a prank of stupid proportions, forget it."

"Sunstreaker, I'm hurt, really hurt, that I can't express honest concern for a fellow Autobot's welfare without you assuming that I'm setting up for a prank!"

"Aren't you?"

"Well, yes, but that's beside's the point! My point is, Prowl's been on edge lately, right? (Or as on edge as someone that stiff could possibly get anyway), And it's gotten really bad since Jazz left for Peru a few days ago, remember?"

"And your point?" Sunstreaker asked archly.

"Well, I'm saying Prowl needs to de-stress before he sends himself to the med bay, and since I'm such a caring mech, I'm going to help him out!"

"In what alternate universe does 'pranking' fall under 'stress relief?'" Sunstreaker asked dryly. "You're pranks are what's sending him to an early grave as it is."

Sideswipe waved off the argument. "Yeah, but this'll be different: it'll be private, so he won't be embarrassed in front of everyone else, and it'll just break the tension so that he'll have to relax. Teach him to laugh at himself even!"

"Sideswipe, the most likely outcome of that is you painting a sign on your back saying 'Hit Me, Please.'" Sunstreaker turned thoughtful. "Then again, beating you up always makes me relaxed, so maybe it'll work for Prowl too if you can torque him off enough."

"Gee, thanks Sunny, I really feel the love." Sideswipe was practically standing in a puddle of all the sarcasm he was dripping. But he brightened and turned hopeful. "So does this mean you're going to help?"

"Slag no. Unlike you, I have all my mental facilities working, and I'm NOT going to go to Prowl begging for three months of inventory duty just for giggles."

"You're no fun!"

oOoOoOoOoOo

Sideswipe didn't actually needhis brother's help, but it was always more fun with a co-conspirator when pranking, with the bonus of having a partner to help with the inventory after the slag hit the fan. Oh well, he'd just have to try and avoid getting caught and/or leaving any evidence it was him. He may be the most notorious prankster on the Ark, but Prowl would never punish him without evidence.

The tactician was just so lovable like that.

The prank itself was simple: he knew that Prowl was expecting a delivery today, to be taken directly to his office rather than be picked up (because the mech couldn't be bothered to leave his office for ten minutes, the workaholic freak), so all he had to do was convince Red Alert to let him be the one to take it ("Oh come one, what'd you think I'm going to do, stick a super sized pie catapult in the box? I mean, I'm good, but I'm not THAT good."), then switch out Prowl's box with his own when the hall was empty and he was in a rare camera blind spot (and of course, he knew where they all were by now). When Prowl picked the fake package up, he'd be getting a "unique" surprise.

Not very elaborate or elegant, but he was going for silly and harmless, not creative and epic. Besides, the look on Prowl's face would be priceless!

Sideswipe oh-so-carefully put the box down just to the side of Prowl's office door, knocked twice to let him know, and hurried down the hall to hide behind the corner. He just HAD to stick around just look enough to see Prowl's expression!

A few seconds later he heard the sound of the door swish open. A momentary pause as the monochromic Datsun looked around and spotted the box, shuffling as he turned and bent over, box being lifted, click of the trap, and SPLAT!

Sideswipe had to stuff his fist in his mouth to keep himself from laughing and giving himself away. That would have been counterproductive to the whole hiding-out-first thing.

Still shaking with restrained giggles, Sideswipe peeked around the corner to get a look at the gob-smacked face he KNEW would be gracing the stoic tactitians face plates right then. But the second he did, all mirth was sucked away in place of blank disbelief.

Sideswipe came to the unfortunate realization right then and there that he probably should have checked Prowl's scheduale more carefully. If he had, he might've known that the reason Prowl couldn't leave his office was because he was having a meeting with Elita One.

The poor femme had picked up the box in Prowls place, just trying to be polite and bring it in for him, and was rewarded with green goop covering almost her entire upper body, dripping off her frame in thick gobs every few seconds. The only clean part of her were her optics, glowing bright blue in sharp contrast to the green, blinking slowly in stupefied fashion as if she was having trouble computing what had just happened. Prowl was standing in the open doorway, having rushed over as soon as he heard the wet sound of goop on metal, one hand on the frame as he leaned out, his optics wide and mouth opened slightly in faint horror as he stared at the unintended victim, stock still except for the tell tale twitching of his doorwings that spoke of rising apocalyptic fury.

Sideswipe transformed into his much faster alt. mode and quietly ran for his life.

oOoOoOoOoOo

"You pranked Elita?"

"Almost thirty 'bots in the entire base, and of all the 'bots to walk into the prank, it had to be her!" Sideswipe groaned. "Prowl is going to kill me, then Ratchet's gonna fix me up so Prime can kill me all over again. They're gonna be killing me over and over again until there's not enough left of me to retrofit into a scooter! You've got to help me Sunstreaker, I'm too young to die!"

"You seemed to have mistaken me for someone who cares," Sunstreaker said flatly.

"You're a horrible brother! How can you betray me like this! Don't you care if Optimus turns me inside out and Prowl turns what's left into a piñata for the minibots?!"

Sunstreaker growled and rubbed his optics in irritation with his free hand.

"Sideswipe, it's been hours since then. No one has said anything to me, not about Prowl, not about Prime, and certainly not about your 'inspired' idea to de-stress our resident El Pricko. If anyone was going to be doing anything, they'd have done it by now."

"Maybe Prowl's trying to play some kind of sick mind game, let me stew for a few days before he pounces after I've fallen into a false sense of security!" Sideswipe shot back and now sounding slightly hysterical. "That's just the sort of thing he'd do!"

"Is it really?"

Sideswipe actually had to stop and think about that one.

"Well…he has always been pretty prompt before, come to think of it…" he admitted slowly.

"Exactly. Obviously, someone decided it wasn't worth the trouble and it'd just be easier to just let this blow over. And I know this is really hard for you, but so long as you keep your inherent stupidity instinct under control for the near future, you might get lucky and not spend the next year cleaning out the wash racks with a human-sized toothbrush again."

"Thank you oh brother of mine, you really know how to comfort a guy," Sideswipe said flatly.

Still, Sideswipe mused and he continued down the orange hall again with Sunstreaker behind him, his brother had a point. He had been waiting on pins and needles for the proverbial axe to fall, but nothing had happened at all. He knew that Prowl wouldn't take it so easy, but perhaps Optimus had enough of a sense of humor to stop his SiC from sending the frontline warrior to a premature grave. After all, it HAD truly been a harmless prank, and all it would have taken was a quick trip to the wash racks to clean up. And maybe a mop for the floor.

Sideswipe nodded to himself as he punched in the code to open the door to the quarters he and Sunstreaker shared and waited for the doors to swish open. Really, he had been overreacting, pulling a Red Alert (and there's a scary thought). No one was after him, and no one was lying in wait to pounce on him. There was nothing, truly nothing, to worry about.

"Hello Sideswipe."

"AAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEE!"

The surprise guest reared back slightly at the audio onslaught, optics wide in surprise. "I must say, I have never been greeted in such a fashion. Is it an earth custom you have picked up? I've heard you're rather fond of those."

Sideswipe gaped at the pink femme sitting delicately on the arm of the twins couch, facing the door as if she had been politely waiting for them…which she probably had been.

"You…why…how…I locked the door!" Sideswipe sputtered. He spun toward his brother. "Did you let her in!?"

Sunstreaker looked vaguely affronted, crossing his arms. "I know about as much as you do. Just what ARE you doing in OUR quarters, Elita?"

"Waiting." She said simply with a cheeky smile. "You had been in hiding for hours, I had to be sure I would be able to bump into you eventually."

It finally occurred to Sideswipe that maybe he shouldn't have been quite so worried about Prowl or Prime as he should of the Guerilla Warfare Commander.

Her smile widened as she stood up. She looked past the red twin to the golden one. "Sunstreaker, would you mind terribly if I spoke with your brother in private for a few minutes?"

Sideswipe shot Sunstreaker his best don't-leave-me-I-don't-want-to-die! look.

Sunstreaker clapped a hand on Sideswipes shoulder, and with utmost gravity said "Well, it was nice knowing you."

And with that parting message, Sunstreaker shoved the sacrificial lamb into the room and locked the door behind him.

Sideswipe faced Elita and put on the biggest who-me-I'm-innocent smile he had (and let it be said that Sideswipe had the most versatile facial expression of any bot – except maybe Smokescreen).

"So Elita, is this business or pleasure?"

"Let's cut to the chase, I have a meeting in ten minutes, and I don't have time for beating around the bush," Elita said, getting up off the couch arm.

Sideswipes smile never wavered. "Really? Well, it's a shame you don't have time to talk, and after waiting so long for me! Perhaps next time-"

"Sideswipe, everyone knows perfectly well that you were the one who switched the packages, and the only reason you're not in the brig for insubordination or on PR duties at various kindergarten classes for the next two years for embarrassing Prowl or just plain torquing Optimus off is because I convinced them both not to take any action until after I spoke with you myself."

Sideswipes normally quick mental processes came to a screeching halt, and his smile dropped to give Elita the blankest stare that had ever graved his face. "What?"

Elita waggled a finger at him mockingly. "You were quite careful to avoid the cameras on the way to Prowl's office, but not so much when you fled the scene."

Dang it!

"I…I…" Sideswipe gave up and let his shoulders sag. "So what processor killing, mind dulling yet surprisingly creative and cruel punishment have YOU come up with?"

"Nothing."

For the second time in less than a minute, his processors came to a halt. He really wished that would stop happening, it made coming up with witty responses hard.

"Eh?"

Very hard.

Elita tilted her head to the side as she examined Sideswipe, looking mildly amused. "From what I understand, your pranks are infamous for creativity and breadth, in that if they do not entrap many victims, they can at least be appreciated by nearly all the crew before being dismantled and victims released. So this latest one was a bit outside the norm, in that if it had worked properly no one but Prowl and yourself, and perhaps Red Alert, would have known. I admit to curiosity as to why the M.O. change."

Sideswipe rubbed the back of his neck, figured what the heck, and with an 'eat the poison, eat the plate' attitude, went ahead and told her. "Well, you've probably noticed that Prowl's been extra uptight lately, especially since Jazz isn't here to make sure he stops working for more than two minutes at a time…"

Elita let Sideswipe explain himself, nodding along and letting him finish his story, looking intrigued. Sideswipe took this as a good sign that he might be able to get through this fiasco with all his pieces and paint after all.

"So yeah, you getting it instead? Total accident. If I knew it was you, I'd have done something more special." He joked as he wrapped up his defense.

Elita chuckled in good natured humor. "Well then, that answers my questions. After hearing your side of the story, I have decided that no official action will be taken against you. I will speak to Prowl and Optimus again and make sure it is so."

Sideswipe could almost hear the chorus sing 'Haaaallelujah!' Sunstreaker had been right after all! Of course Elita wasn't going to rain fire and brimstone on him for something so harmless as a little green goo, she must have a better sense of humor than Prowl, though really that wasn't saying –

Wait.

"No official punishment?" Sideswipe repeated, feeling his spark sink in dread. "What about unofficial?"

Elita only answered with a cryptic smile and walked right past him out the door, leaving Sunstreaker to deal with the now freaked out Sideswipe.

oOoOoOoOoOo

"Um, Sideswipe, what are you doing?"

The aforementioned 'bot just about jumped out of his plating with a high pitched girly squeal at the voice behind him, and managed to spin around in mid air to face the one who managed to sneak up on the high-strung Lamborghini, arms already up defensively and ready to leap or run for his life as the situation presented itself.

Bluestreak blinked. "Wow. That was actually pretty cool. I don't I've ever seen you jump quite that high straight up before."

Sideswipe slumped at his fight-or-fight protocols calmed down in the absence of real 'danger.' "Blue, please, for the love of mercy, don't do that to me!"

"Sorry Sides," Blue said shyly. He walked past Sideswipe and made a beckoning motion. "I'm heading to the rec room for some energon. Walk with me?"

Sideswipe took up up on the offer with great enthusiasm. Elita wouldn't do anything to him while he was with an innocent bystander, right? Right??

"So, why're you so jumpy today anyway?" Bluestreak asked, locking his hands behind his back as he walked along side the taller warrior. "I mean, I don't think I've ever seen you like this, not even when Prowl was on the hunt after one of your pranks. Wait, did you do a prank? No, wait, I haven't heard anything about that, so I guess you haven't, otherwise everyone would be talking about it by now. Actually, Prowl has been kind of tense lately, and he seemed really annoyed about something earlier, but I didn't ask him why because I didn't want to pry and Jazz is really the only bot he'll open up to, except maybe Optimus though he's the Prime and it'd be kind of weird to confide in him I guess. So anyway, what're you so jumpy about?"

Sideswipe gave the loquacious little gunner a long look. Bluestreak must have really wanted to know if he was able to circle right back to his original question. He debated telling him for a moment, but figured, well, maybe he'd be able to get at least one ally since Sunstreaker had seen fit to leave him high and dry - while pointing and laughing, he might add!

Several minutes and one confessional/explanation later…

"You pranked Elita?"

"I'm not having this conversation again." Sideswipe groaned, slapping his hand over his eyes. Bluestreak giggled.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don't think Elita's going to have any time today today to do anything really. I mean, it's not that she's not doing ANYTHING, it's more like she's doing to much to do anything else. I heard most of the command staff, her included, is going to be tied up with meetings and work for the next...day and a half or so. Plus, I'm pretty sure I heard Ratchet mention that she's going to DC with Optimus to meet the President for something, I don't know if it's a real meeting or something symbolic, humans really like stuff like that. Anyway, she's going to be really busy with lots of important stuff, so I don't think she's going to be able to do much of anything really for the rest of the time she's here. I guess that's bad because it means everyone's working hard and the officers are barely going to have any free time, but at least it means she'll be too busy to do anything to you herself."

Sideswipe looked at Bluestreak carefully. "So, she's completely occupied?"

The grey datsun stepped aside to let Firestar leave the rec room. "Well, it sounds to me like Elita's got a awful lot to do and not a whole lot of time to do it. I don't think she's the type to put something off or rush it so she'll have time to, I don't know, trip you down the hall or something. Maybe she just wanted you to believe she was up to something so you'd spend the next week and a half waiting for the axe to fall. That's what you were doing already anyways, so I guess it was working."

"So…you think I'm safe?"

"Well, from Elita at least."

"Oh thank primus!" Sideswipe exclaimed, feeling all the tension leaving his frame. "Now that would have been cruel and unusual punishment."

Bluestreak giggled again. "Well, you did splatter her with green goo, so you can't say you weren't asking for it." he pointed out as he filled his own cube. "You're lucky she didn't get madder. At least she's not the petty, vengeful sort."

"That'd be scary," Sideswipe agreed as he pressed the dispenser button.

Nothing happened.

Confused, Sideswipe pressed the button again.

"Weird," he commented, leaning down to look at it better. "Is it jammed or something?"

The second his optic was level with the dispenser (and too close to get away), the nozzle shot a thick stream of blue liquid straight into Sideswipes face.

With a shocked cry Sideswipe stood up, except the stream was still shooting out with the speed and force of a fire-hose, dousing him completely in the blue stuff even as he tried to backpedal away. Insult was added to injury when he slipped on the puddle pooling at his feet to land flat on his back. Only then did the dispenser abruptly shut off.

Dead silence for a few seconds, then the entire rec room exploded in laughter. Even Bluestreak, who was trying so hard to contain himself for the sake of his friend, was wildly twitching his doorwings and grinning widely behindh his hands.

"Primus, you can't PAY for entertainment this good!" Ironhide guffawed, slapping the tabletop with one hand. Sideswipe scowled at the room in general.

"Laugh it up you," he muttered darkly, flicking the sticky blue liquid off his face. "Just what IS this stuff anyway??"

Bluestreak kneeled down and touched two fingers to the puddle, then lifted them to his olfactory sensor. "Well, it feels pretty cold, and smells sharp and funny, so it might be the stuff for the self-cleaning mechanism in the dispenser. Actually, I think that's what it is. We should probably tell Wheeljack or somebody that it's broken."

Bumblebee came over and looked at the dispensor itself curiously. Experimentally, he picked up an empty cube, stepped out of the way, waited a few seconds for Sideswipe to scramble out of the line of fire, and hit the 'dispense' button.

Bright pink energon obediantly poured out in a steady stream until the cube was filled, shutting off automatically.

"Working fine now," he pointed out unnecessarially.

Sideswipe stared incredulously.

"...What the PIT??"

oOoOoOoOoOo

Sideswipe was no Sunstreaker or Tracks, but nobody would be able to just sit down to a meal while dripping in cleansing solution he had nearly drowned in, especially when it was drying into a sticky mess that left blue splotches all over him. He just hurried down the hallway as fast as he could with dignity, hoping not to bump into too many others on the way and get through today with at least a scrap of his dignity intact.

He turned the last corner and nearly barreled right over Arcee. So much for that.

"Sideswipe? What happened to YOU?" She asked incredulously.

The warrior ignored her, brushing right past her and making a beeline for the (thankfully) empty washracks and went to his usual spot. He twisted the spigot on and off-lined his optics as warm water cascaded down to rinse away the drying energon.

Except, the water felt kind of weird, thicker, almost like –

Sideswipe optics flashed on.

Instead of nice hot clean water, Sideswipe was getting doused in apple-green paint.

"AAAARRGH!"

oOoOoOoOoOo

It took nearly an hour to scrub off every scratch of green paint and dried on energon with the strongest solvents they had, and he had to duck out and drag in a blushing Bluestreak, who had come after him to make sure he was alright, to make sure he got all the stuff off his back. But he was finally able to emerge from the wash racks clean again.

"Feel better?" Bluestreak asked, calming down again now that he wasn't being made to scrub Sideswipes back. The red mech stretched out his arms and examined himself.

"A little bit," he admitted.

"You're looking better," a higher pitched, amused voice said. Sideswipe and Blutstreak turned to see a blue/teal/green femme with yellow optics standing there with a hand on her hip and a little smirk on her face. Sideswipe frowned, not remembering her name.

"You're Aqua, right?" Bluestreak, always the personable one, asked with a friendly smile.

At her nod, Sideswipe added "I take you saw what happened in the rec room?"

"Not personally, but just about everyone's heard about it my now." Aqua answered. "Last I heard, Cliffjumper was bugging Red Alert for a copy of the footage."

"Joy," Sideswipe grumbled. Bluestreak giggled as his disgruntled expression.

"Sorry I can't stay, but I've got monitor duty with Sunstreaker, so I've got to get going." With a little wave to Sideswipe and Aqua, Bluestreak hurried away down the corridor. Aqua tilted her head in thought, then checked the data pad she had been carrying.

"Come to think of it, I'm surprised you were able to get out of your shift so quickly actually. From what I understand, Prowl's not usually so lenient."

Sideswipe gave her a blank look. "What shift?"

Aqua snapped her head up in surprised. "You don't know? The duty roster was adjusted last night because Bumblebee had been putting off his checkup and Ratchet got tired of waiting. Say's here you're taking his place on the PR trip to St. Helena's Primary School today. Apparently, you're meeting with the kindergarten classes about road safety."

"….Are you slagging KIDDING me??"

Aqua held up the data pad in front of her as proof. "If you really didn't get your shift covered, then you've got ten minutes to get down to the school before Prowl owns your aft."

"AAARRGH!" Sideswipe screamed, just before transforming and tearing down the hallway, leaving skid marks in his wake, never noticing Aqua's little grin.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Five hours later and Sideswipe was dragging his pedes back to his quarters and wishing the day would hurry up and end already, because if one more thing happened, so help him he would not be held accountable for what he did next.

"Oh my, Sideswipe, you look exhausted. Has the day been stressing for you?"

Sideswipe stopped dead in his tracks. On top of everything else, Pure Pink Evil had arrived.

Elita One just smiled genially at him as he slowly turned his head to look at her. "Well, I do hope your trip to the school lifted your spirits a bit. It sounded like it would have been fun, I'm sorry I can't do something similar."

Sideswipe turned fully to face her. "You know, I may not be 'Perceptor' smart, but I'm not stupid."

Sideswipe started counting off on his fingers. "Firestar in the rec room, Arcee in the washracks, Aqua to hack the roster schedule…even if you are completely booked, you've got a freaking miniature army at your beck and call, you don't exactly need to do your own dirty work."

Elita laid a hand on her chest in mock shock.

"Now Sideswipe, I am appalled that you would suggest that I would use my Congtingents valuable skills and time for something as silly as pranks against your person. But, hypothetically…"

Elita's grin turned positively wicked.

"…such actions would certainly be within the realm of possibility."

Sideswipe gave her a flat look. "Just how long do you generally make someone your whipping bot?"

"Depends how long it takes them to learn their lesson."

Sideswipe threw his hands in the air. "'Don't frag off Elita One, especially when she can network!' Consider the lesson learned!"

Elita shook her and sighed. "Sideswipe, Sideswipe, Sideswipe, you clearly have completely missed the entire purpose of this endeavor."

Sideswipe blinked. "Eh? Isn't this supposed to be the 'unofficial punishment' for the goo thing?"

Elita raised an optic ridge. "If we were to pretend your recent run of bad luck had truly been premeditated and carried out by an outside force as a part of your well earned 'unofficial punishment'…"

Sideswipe snorted - of course she'd never admit to actually doing anything!

"…then it should be clarified that it would not be because I was pranked, but because I was pranked instead of Prowl."

Sideswiped pinched his nasal ridge and offlined his optics. He was gaining a whole new respect for the processor aches Prowl complained about sometimes. "…Elita, my processors are turning to molasses as we speak. I really don't have the memory space for deep thinking right now. With all do respect, and I mean that from the bottom of my Spark...what in the Pit are you talking about?"

"Alright then, try thinking about this: what unifying quality did all of your, hm, 'events' have?"

"...They were fragging annoying?"

"For you, maybe. More imporantly, they were carefully designed with you, your person, your habits, in mind so that no one else could simply walk into a trap meant for you and you alone."

Sideswipe stared.

Elita waggled a reprimanding finger at Sideswipe. "It's one thing if you set up a prank meant for just about anyone. It's quite another once you get in the business of setting a trap for a specific target. You can't trust fate and luck that only the right target will fall into the trap, otherwise you might find yourself creating more trouble than it was worth. I don't mind a little silliness and general harmless fun, but I am far less lenient with sloppy delivery and careless mistakes."

Elita patted Sideswipes shoulder as she walked past. "I am a firm believer that if you are going to be doing anything, then you might as well do it right. I don't tolerate anything less, not with my Contingent, and certainly not with myself. From what I've heard, you're a good deal smarter and more creative and most bots give you credit for; you shouldn't settle for anything less either."

Sideswipe turned and watched the Femme Commander, guerilla warfare specialist and leader of an underground resistance, a femme whose entire Contingent had become skilled in traps and secret attacks by sheer necessity and lifted it to an art form, who could somehow rig their traps to activate when, and ONLY when, the proper target was in the proper place, either with special sensors or simply knowing her targets habitual movements, calmly continue down the corridor.

Sideswipe crossed his arms as she turned the corner and disappeared, a contemplative expression on his face.

oOoOoOoOoOo

"We've narrowed down possible locations for Autobot city to four separate areas." Prowl droned on. "They're listed in order of most optimal to least, though there are also extenuating factors of whether or not we'll be able to get the land permanently, not to mention the still outstanding issue of our residency status."

Prowl passed out datapads with the promised information to the Autobots seated at the tables, each one taking one pad before passing on the rest to the next bot over.

"Has there been any progress in us being declared an independent nation within the United States?" Elita asked as she took her own data pad.

"Yes and no. A bill had been written and sent to the Senate regarding just that, but it's being hotly contested by people worried about the implications of it, including fear that we're getting relatively preferential treatment compared to the humans already living near those areas, and that it'll essentially be inviting us to stay permanently, along with the war. There's not much we can do to speed up the process."

From long experience, Jazz knew that the minute human politics came in the discussion, it was a foregone conclusion that he could look forward to several hours of absolutely nothing happening. Jazz dropped his head to the table, already feeling his CPU rusting to a halt. He hated meetings with a fiery passion, and if he'd known how many of them he'd have to have attend as an officer he might have thought twice about accepting the Primes offer of making him Third in Command and Head of Special Ops.

The rest of the officers, well used to his dramatics, completely ignored him.

"Isn't there already a precedent for this?" Elita asked, flicking through the information on her data pad. "I remember reading that the Native American reservations were considered their own - "

"BOW CHICKA WOW WOW!"

Every bot in the room, even the near catatonic Jazz, jumped up as unmistakable 70's porn music sudden blasted in the room. They all stared at Elita, who was staring at the display on her data pad with shocked horror as the bright colors of the lurid display on her data pad reflected off her shocked silver face.

"…Elita?"

CLACK-CRACK!

Elita slammed the data pad face down hard enough to crack it in half, effectively ending the music. The room was dead silent as everyone stared at her.

"I, I was under impression that the Native American reservations were considered their own nations as well, with their own laws and such," she went on, as if she nothing had happened and pretending that she was NOT blushing. "Can we not have something of a similar nature?"

Jazz had to put his head down again, this time to muffle his hysterical laughter in his arms.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Seven halls and three decks away, Sideswipe cackled.


AN: "Pure pink evil" was coined by Fields-of-Heather. I just HAD to steal it. ^_^