Chapter Seven
A/N: No reviewers. :'( Where did you all go?
The train journey to the Capitol had been mercifully short, leaving Glimmer little time to think, though she was not quite convinced that she would be happy to arrive at the District One apartment. After all, Marvel would be present in the building, eating and congregating with the other members of their prep team, with her, and the blonde did not want to spend any more time with him than was absolutely necessary.
The only thing keeping her going through all the pain she felt inside was the notion that she would have a bow in hand in five days' time, and Marvel would be hers to kill. This notion, however, was accompanied by a glint of weakness, of fear. In five days' time, the other twenty three Tributes would have weapons in their hands also, and she could end up at their mercy. She tried not to think about that, as it was also the most probable option. 'No.' she thought sharply, almost slapping herself inside for having such fears. 'I'm a Career. I'm going to fight until the end, and I am going to win.'
Glimmer sighed, not knowing whether she believed her own thoughts or not. She would fight, that much was true for certain. Whether she would win was definitely a different matter.
She would be meeting the prep teams tomorrow, she had been told, at eleven o'clock in the morning. She sensed that this was the latest time for anyone to be around the place, but in all honesty, she didn't care.
Her game plan was very simple now. Her best chance was to win as many sponsors as she could, present a typical 'blonde girl' image to the public, then become vicious the moment she entered the arena. That way, she would at least have the element of surprise on her side.
Turning to face the wall of her bedroom, a thought struck Glimmer like a bolt of lightning. Marvel was only one room away from her, sleeping peacefully in his bed. He was entirely vulnerable. He would be unable to prevent any attack while under the cover of sleep. He would never know if he never awoke.
'Stop it!' the girl's mind screamed, as she turned her head sharply from the wall. 'What's happening to me?! I couldn't kill him now. I just couldn't. I'll just have to wait.'
Strangely enough, even after all the training she had done, after the five years she had spent in the Academy, the fact that she had had such a vicious thought pass through her mind was quite frightening. She had never considered anything remotely like that before.
'So, it's finally happened, then.' Glimmer thought, an audible sigh of despair escaping her lips. 'I've spent all those years in the Academy, still trying to avoid being one of those monsters who killed for no reason. Now, I've just become one of them.'
Despite the fact that she had enjoyed the Academy, that she had been happy there and that she had done very well, this had been the very thing that Glimmer had been so afraid of. She had been afraid of losing herself.
'What would Mum and Dad say, if they could hear me thinking like that? What would Jade say?' With a pained sigh, Glimmer considered one other name. 'What would Sheen say?'
As she gazed out at the silver glow of the Capitol's skyline, the ethereal beauty of the moonlight, the young blonde wondered if her family were doing the same. Her parents would definately not be, as they would never look out at the darkness of the night, preferring to shut the curtains as soon as light began to fade, almost as if they thought their dreams could fade away with it. Now they had.
Jade would be watching the stars, though she should long since have been in bed. The young woman doubted that her parents would enforce any rules in the house for a while, not now. Even if they had done, the youngest Princasa child had never been one to listen to others, especially when she was upset. Jade would often look up towards the glimmering lights in the sky, dreaming, wishing, or simply remembering times gone by. She would definately be sat there now, even if she did not know why her cousin had gone away. Didn't know that she may never come back.
For once in her life, Glimmer could not see into her brother's mind. Of course, she had never literally been able to read the man's thoughts, as that would be impossible, but there had always been a sense of empathy between them. Anything he felt, she felt as well. Now, everything just seemed disconnected. It seemed so wrong.
'If I do return home, if I do survive these Games, will Sheen forgive me?' This was the only thought that really mattered within the buzzing of the girl's head, which was comparable to an aggravated swarm of Tracker Jackers flying around in her head. 'Will he think I'm even the same person? Will he ever forgive me?'
It took only a moment, then Glimmer silenced the buzzing thoughts. None of it mattered anymore. After all, the girl was unsure whether she would ever see them again. She may never know how any of them felt, whether they had forgiven her or not. The last time they would see her could be through a television, in the Arena. The last time she would see them could have passed.
With a heavy sigh, the young Career turned her back on the window, allowing her head to sink into her soft feather pillow, in an attempt to clear her head enough to get some sleep. To her surprise, as soon as she did so, the girl found her eyes begin to grow heavy.
'Maybe if I awake, I'll awake to find myself back at home. Maybe I'll wake up to find everything is back as it was.'
Unfortunately, she was far from the truth.
A/N: Please review!
