THE KAGAMINE SHOW
(corny theme music) It's the Kagamine woooorrrddd shoooowwwww~
「レン」
Welcome back everyone. I'm sorry to inform you that Rin has officially broken the swear bleeper-
「リン」
Ready to learn, motherfuckers?
「レン」
..and she's enjoying it.
「リン」
DONKEY ASS!
「レン」
So, because of this and Rin's constant use of violence on the show, we've had to bump up the rating to M. Nice going, Rin.
「リン」
C:
「レン」
As a special, Rin's going to teach you some swear words. The only problem is, Japanese is such a humble language there really isn't any. Kuso (shit) and aho (sounds like asshole, but it really just means 'fool' in a more intense degree than 'baka) are really all that I can think of. They just don't exist. And Spanish has so many. Language is language, I guess.
So, if you want to insult someone, you're going to have to get creative. Like, you're so fat the ground shakes.
「リン」
Or 'your momma is so old, when I told her to act her age she died.'
「レン」
D:
「リン」
:D
(Gakupo suddenly rushes onto the stage with papers in his hands, waving them around)
「がくぽ」
Oi! I just got your ratings, and it's down the toilet! If you don't get some new ideas, we're not getting any dinner!
「レン」
But I just bought a new couuuuuuuuch-
「リン」
We're doing fine Gakupo relax.
「がくぽ」
You're popularity is shit.
(Rin points at herself)
「リン」
Um, hello. Cutest synthesizer in the world.
「がくぽ」
Get some better learning ideas, or we're canceling. You have ONE person in the audience.
(Beast Boy waves from the stands)
(Gakupo marches off the stage)
「レン」
Er… please don't let us be murdered by Gakupo. Give us some script ideas in the post box outside. You know, that one that Haku peed in the other day because she was mad at Miku for stealing her soda and so we got a new one and it has a picture of my face on it going :D with a thumbs up and some bananas because I like bananas. Yeah. That one.
(pause)
「レン」
Rin, are we going to starve?
「KAITO」
Len, if you and Rin were abandoned in a box on the street with a FREE KITTIES sign I'm sure someone would buy you.
「リン」
And make him a kitty sex slave.
「レン」
Rin, get your head out of the gutter and into the show!
「リン」
We were all thinking it, okay?
「レン」
I guess we're done today. Didn't really learn anything. Credits?
「KAITO」
Credits.
(cred-
(screen goes blurry for a moment)
ATTENTION. THIS IS THE DIRECTOR SPEAKING.
THIS SHIT IS FUCKING BORING. IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO LEARN, I'M NOT TEACHING IT. NO. OKAY? NO. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU GUYS WANT?
The alphabet? Animals? Classes? What to say when someone hits you over the head with a frying pan? How to read Harry Potter in Japanese I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW ANYMORE WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN.
I DID NOT TAKE MY MEDS TODAY. $^#%^#$^%^#$%
We now return to your regularly scheduled credits.
(credits)
Host – Len Kagamine
Co-Host – Rin Kagamine
Director – Lun Yokune
Camera, Effects, and Guy Who Stops Rin From Killing The Audience – KAITO
Groupies – Luka Megurine, Miku Hatsune, and MEIKO
Executive Producer – Gakupo
Tickets and Admission – Haku
BEAST BOY – As Himself
God I hate Beast Boy.
Words – 3
Baka – idiot/stupid
Kusso/Kuso – shit (if you need to motivate yourself, you can say shit. I've heard little kids use this before, so while it's frowned upon it's not like here, where everyone's like OMG THAT LITTLE KID SAID FUCK).
Aho – idiot/asshole
