Right then, first things first, THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!!!! *is happy* You people make me feel loved! With the exception of Effeminate and Snape's Lingerie of course. Anyhoo, I don't know what to do about the author's notes... ^^;;; Hehe, maybe you should do what I do when I re-read my chapters: read the sentence, read the author's note (wherever it may appear), read the next sentence, check if I am confused, read the sentences, skipping the author's note just to straighten things up within my muddled head. Didn't get that? Neither did I. Just try ok? I don't know how to fix it... But if you have any ideas, be nice and suggest it. Unless it's that thing where you put a number beside the phrase or sentence or whatever you want to comment on, because that just doesn't have the same effect! ^_^ Ok, that's about all I wanted to say, I think, and THANKS AGAIN FOR THE REVIEWS!

Formalities:

-They're not mine. I'm just renting them.

-This is SLASH. You know, the kind when a guy sees a guy, then he falls for the guy, then he boinks the guy? Well, ok, not the boinking part. The fic is PG-13, after all... Umm... Ok... Point here is that I don't want to get any flames from people who are homophobic or something like that.

~*Gruyere, then, lol! I'll try any cheese, any time*~

***

Moments after they started, Golden Boy decided to have fun

~*he's got a warped idea of fun*~

and began swaying as he pulverized some peculiar-looking berries. They were a sickly shade of mauve, and definitely didn't have the best of odours.

Think: Dudley's socks.

Repulsed, yet?

Anyway, the purpose of his pert little show was to distract widdle Drakkie.

~*and here we have somebody taking lessons from Pansy 'Repugnant' Parkinson… Drakkie. Drakkie. DrakkieDrakkieDrakkie!!!*~

And he was well aware that purpose wasn't being defeated.

But then, Harry started to sing his own rather odd rendition of It's Raining Men,

~*Be afraid, be very afraid. Unless you like a singing Sexy!Harry?*~

despite his rational side's griping. A few minutes of the annoying tune and Draco lost all interest in his archenemy's arse. It had suddenly fallen silent, too,

~*praise the Lord, it's quiet!*~

sort of like a defence mechanism; it was blocking out the infernal noise.

"Stop that."

He sang louder, a wide grin twitching at his lips.

"I said stop."

And louder, forgetting all about his current task, but still unconsciously continuing it.

"Potter…"

And even louder— he was starting to giggle.

"STOP."

Then it seemed to transform into a maddening little buzz, like a fly with a sense of musicality.

"SHUT UP!"

The emerald-eyed boy became quiet.

"Thank you!" he cried, exasperated, and then much softer, "Bloody prat…"

At that, Harry started whistling.

"UGH! Dammit, I need earmuffs! Hell, even cotton will do…"

"How about silk?"

He rolled his eyes, "Oh, why ever not?"

"—lined handcuffs?"

"Pervert."

"Only when you're around."

"You weren't doing that earlier!"

"Yeah, well you forced it out of me. It's your fault."

"Blatant arse-bandit."

"And what a nice arse, at that!"

Draco rolled his eyes, "Oh yes, indeed. Can we just finish this already?"

"I'm being distracted."

"Well, so am I!"

"So we're even, then?"

"You're hopeless."

"I like to think so, too."

He smacked the back of Harry's head, "If you're done, I think we better mix that in before you overdo it."

The black-haired boy looked at what he was grinding.

"Oops. Hehe… Okay, then."

They meticulously scraped the mush from the bottom of the mortar and dumped it in the cauldron, which held thick, boiling, moss-colored slush. It sizzled as the berries tipped into it, before turning into something roughly the shade of crap.

Harry reached over to the instructions, reading the next step. His eyes darted back and forth on the paper, then haphazardly put it down.

"We're supposed to wait 10 minutes, add the Clematis leaves, and then stir anti-clockwise 7 times."

"Alright. At least we have a little break…"

"Yeah. So, what should we do?"

"What do you mean we?"

"Well, we're stuck together, right?"

"I'm not doing anything with you."

"But we just—"

"Anything voluntary."

"Are you sure? I've got some… interesting ideas."

"I'm not sure I want to know what 'interesting' is to you."

"Rest assured, it involves whipped cream and chocolate syrup 99.9% of the time."

"Ice cream?"

"No. You."

Draco sputtered, eliciting a laugh from his rival.

"You're evil."

"No, you are. Remember, you're an Evil Overlord In Training™."

"And you're Virtue Personified™?"

"Of course not, silly! Virtue doesn't have hot, erotic fantasies about wild monkey sex with her archenemy, now does she?"

"And you do?"

"What do you think?"

"Riiiight. Goddamn bracelet… I wish it would wake up or whatever… I need somebo—thing to talk to besides highly-aroused Potter over here!"

"Heyyyyyy! How would you know if I'm aroused!?"

Draco coughed, gesturing at Harry's crotch area.

"Oh, so you looking at it, weren't you? Naughty, naughty…"

"Well, it's kind of hard not to notice if somebody stuffed a watermelon down their pants."

The emerald-eyed boy stuck his tongue out at him.

"Are you planning to use that?"

"Nah. Not now, anyway. Maybe later."

"Later?"

"After the potion is finished, so we won't have to stop midway."

"And who says I'm actually going to participate?"

"I'll find some way to make you."

"Just try."

"I think I will."

Draco glared at him, and then at Harry's wristwatch, as if willing time to go faster.

"Well, aren't you anxious to jump me!"

"No I'm not! I just want to leave! To get away! From you, even!"

"That's not very nice…"

"Was I ever nice?"

"Come to think of it, no."

"There. So it's justified."

"Whatever."

"Right. 10 minutes are up…"

"Best news I've heard. We can finish this up, and then I'll leave you alone to wank yourself until Snape comes to check up on us. You can tell him that I left earlier; he won't mind."

"As if! We still have to list the side-effects, remember?"

"Oh yeah… But what if the side-effects only appear after 24 hours, or something???"

"I think he only wants the immediate side-effects."

"Oh?"

Harry nodded, just as the Slytherin sighed.

"Damn this…"

The brunette couldn't prevent his smirk, so instead settled for trying to hide it using the pretense of adding the Clematis leaves.

His adversary growled, obviously annoyed, and grabbed the stirrer, which was lying motionless on the table.

He waited patiently for the other to finish, before reaching over and swirling the mixture anti-clockwise.

~*You'd think the British had something against clocks… 'anti-clockwise'*~

"Well, I think that's it."

"You sure?"

"MmHmm, we did everything on the parchment…"

"Great. Now why don't you chug it all down and I'll see what happens to you? After all, one less Potter in the world isn't such a bad thing, right?"

"How 'bout I shove it up or arse instead and we'll see how it affects your anal retentive disposition?"

"How about we both take it in the hospital wing? That way, we're prepared."

"And what'll Snape say when he finds us both gone?"

"Uh… Hopefully he'll just drop dead upon finding out that his most aesthetically-pleasing student has gone missing from the premises?"

"…"

He gave the Gryffindor a relatively uncharacteristic grin.

"Let's just get on with this."

"You want to get it on?"

WHAP.

"Owwie! Wha' wuzzat for?"

"You already know."

"True… But you're the one who suggested it…"

"Now look who's getting perverted."

"You're merely rubbing off on me."

"Well, if you stayed I could corrupt you some more, hmm?"

The Boy Who Lived winked seductively. Draco scoffed.

"All the more reason to leave."

"Fiiiiiiine. Let's just do this already! The stuff gives off the impression of being corrosive…"

"Do this?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, sterilize it, and when you're finally purged of all impurity you can help me with this goddamn potion."

"Whatever you say, O Great One."

"Good boy. Now c'mon, I'll give you a treat if you lend me hand here."

A pair of silver eyes rolled.

"Oh, yey. Woof woof."

He suddenly felt something being shoved into his hands, and looked down to see a steaming goblet of… of… whatever the hell that disgusting substance is. After turning the heat off and making sure that the concoction wasn't eating through the cauldron-bottom,

~*Or else dear Percy would be devastated!*~

the teen with him ladled some of the dung-coloured goo into his own cup.

"Malfoy…"

He looked at the other boy.

"Yes?"

"On the count of three. One… Two… Three!"

He downed half the contents in one gulp, before looking at the arrogant boy beside him. Who had not ingested a single drop.

"MALFOY!!!!"

"What!? I never agreed, you know!"

Harry glowered at him, until an image from the back of his head emerged, causing to smile a decidedly evil smile.

"Alright. Have it your way."

A flaxen eyebrow arched at him, when he consumed the rest of the brew.

Draco was about to ask the other how it tasted, but wasn't able to get very far with the question because a warm mouth was unexpectedly latched on to his, with a tongue forcing ill-tasting liquid through his lips. He was obliged to swallow all of it, gagging as soon as the raven-haired boy released him.

There was a distinct hush as both felt their heads spin slightly for a moment. Then it was all gone, as if the lightheadedness was never there at all.

"That was revolting beyond words."

"Which? The potion or the kiss?"

"I'm not sure… Probably the potion because you taste like strawberries. I like strawberries…"

"Ummm… Malfoy? Are you alright?"

"Yes, why?"

"You just told me I tasted like strawberries…"

"I did?"

"Yes…"

"When?"

"Just now…"

"You're delusional."

"Am I? So I was just imagining it when you tasted like mint?"

"Of course. I don't eat mint."

They both blinked, realizing just how strange they sounded, with Draco wondering where in bloody hell the strawberry comment came from and Harry about how on earth he analyzed Draco's flavour as mint.

They shuddered simultaneously, as unquestionably lascivious mental pictures of each other fluttered in their mind's eye.

~*mental pictures that I will not elaborate on for this is only a PG-13 rated fic, therefore I can not be explicit about such wayward imagery*~

Each one inhaled sharply, feeling heat encompass them as certain… organs in their body responded to the visual stimuli. They exhaled slowly, not one daring to break the abrupt silence. Well… except for…

"Oh gods no… Please, don't let this be the potion… Please!"

Draco glanced at the wizard muttering beside him, internally echoing his pleas. When the murmurs died down, replaced by soft laughter, a dreadful feeling washed over him. Gradually, Hogwarts' Golden Boy lifted his head up and stared with bottle green eyes, which held a mischievous twinkle in them.

Something was weird here.

He suddenly pounced on the Slytherin, making him trip over, and pinned him to the dungeons' cold, stone floor. He reddened as he felt Wonder Boy's weight settle on top of him.

Definitely the potion?

Harry cupped Draco's cheek, smiling deviously at the now flustered boy. His finger traced down to the other's chin, and slid under it. He tilted the blonde's face up, jade orbs studying its flushed features. Then slowly he pressed a moist kiss on the Slytherin boy's lush lips. He felt his rival press closer to him, then swiftly, as if doubtful all of a sudden, try to wriggle out. This only served to cause… unnecessary friction. Harry stilled the other boy with his body.

"What is it, Dra~co?"

"Snape." Was the flat reply.

"What about the oily git?"

"If he suddenly walks in here?"

"We tell him that we really did think it was part of the side-effects, and so just went along with it?"

"What kind of side-effect is that!?"

"Err… It can consequently act as a homosexuality-inducing aphrodisiac?"

He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by another sloppy kiss. He felt the other boy slide his tongue into his mouth, tasting every nook of the moist cavern and caressing the roof of his mouth. He responded fervently, shoving his own tongue at Harry's, battling passionately for control for a while. They broke away, panting.

"Sounds… good enough to… me."

***

Short and crappy. I think that's becoming the new motto for my chapters, don't you think so? *pouts* I don't think I'll ever learn... Anyway, I promised to give you Kayla's original idea, right? Right. Here it is, and I quote:

"Taste-test the boiled leaves of Sprout's new hybrid plant produced from combining belladonna and poison ivy DNA, which is made to be a digestive-problem-cure-all, but instead became a homosexuality-inducing aphrodisiac."

Lol, I just love that. ^_^

Anyway, R&R? Wouldn't mind if you didn't, but would be incredibly happy if you did!