Author's Note: I've made a middle name for Eli before but for the life of me I can't remember what it was. And I can't remember what story I did so in. If you remember, please let me know! Thanks guys!
Chapter Seven
Song: None
Clare stirred herself awake. She was cold and went to pull the blanket up around her. Why was she so cold? Then she remembered. She blushed furiously as she crawled out of bed, careful not to wake the man next to her, and grabbed her robe off the hook on the back of her bedroom door. She wrapped the robe around her and raked her fingers through her matted hair. She turned back to the bed, and placed a hand over her mouth to keep from gasping.
It had been real and it wasn't just a dream. She and Eli had slept together. She leaned against the door, still with her hand over her mouth, not really knowing what to think about that. Should she be angry with herself for doing something so irresponsible? But…it hadn't been irresponsible. There was nothing wrong about what they had done last night.
They had made love. They have given themselves to each other once again for the first time in ten years and it had felt right. Oh it had felt so right. It was as if everything she had ever hoped for, dreamed of, prayed for, and imagined came true last night. She and Eli had made love. Clare withdrew her hand from her mouth, and turned to look at the clock by the bed. It was almost eight. She hurried to turn it off before the alarm would sound, then knelt down next to Eli's side of the bed. She brushed some of the ebony bangs from his eyes and said gently –
"Eli, it's time to get up."
He stirred slightly, then blinked his eyes awake. When he saw her, a lazy smile crossed his face and he reached up to touch one of her curls.
"Clare," he said, her name dripping like honey form his lips.
"Eli," she leaned down and kissed him softly, "I'm going to make us breakfast."
"Do you need some help?" He asked shifting so he was now sitting up against the pillow.
"Help would be lovely."
"Give me a minute to get something on," Eli smirked, "Unless you'd prefer..."
"Get some clothes on," Clare laughed, rolling her eyes, "I'll be in the kitchen getting everything together. We're meeting Adam about eleven, so let's leave here about ten. Alright?"
"So…that's in two hours."
"Breakfast first," Clare stood from the floor, "Then we'll talk."
Eli smirked, liking the sound of that, as she headed out the door. Once in the kitchen, she got the can of biscuits from the fridge and cracked it against the counter to open it. After turning on the oven, she pulled out the cookie sheet and began to place the biscuits on the cookie sheet. As she was doing so, she felt a pair of arms tighten around her and lips brush her neck.
"Hello," she smiled, turning around to face Eli, "How did you sleep."
"Best damn sleep I've gotten in ten years. You?"
"Same," Clare blushed, "Um…can you get out the eggs and butter from the fridge?"
"Aw, but kissing you is more fun."
"Eli," Clare raised an eyebrow and he pouted slightly before giving in. After popping the biscuits in the oven, Clare mixed together some cracked eggs, butter, and tons of black pepper. She scooped out some butter onto the skillet and let it heat up. Eli helped by stirring the eggs so they wouldn't stick, and Clare ground some coffee.
"You wanna know something, Edwards?" Eli asked.
"What's that?"
"I could dangerously get used to this."
Clare bit her bottom lip, and didn't reply. She didn't know how to. Truth be told, she could get quite used to this too – and she knew what he meant by it being dangerous. They couldn't – could they? Clare shook the question from her head as she finished grounding the coffee beans.
"We shouldn't tell Adam," Eli decided, still stirring the eggs, "I mean, he knows I slept here, but he doesn't need to know details. He'd get too excited and it would get his hopes up." Clare remembered then that she had asked Eli to stay last night - as in, stay-stay. She had told him that she would convince him. Maybe she didn't convince him enough. But maybe he was just being rational. After all, he couldn't possibly stay-stay here.
"Oh…yeah. I understand. Besides, it's none of his business anyways."
Once everything was done, and breakfast was on the table, they sat down to eat. Eli sat in the chair he had always set in before, and Clare sat in hers. It was nice having him around again. He just seemed to belong there. Clare knew that that was a dangerous thing to think. He didn't belong there. He belonged back in Toronto with his job and his family…
"So, I think – since I am leaving in two days – we should just enjoy this."
"What is this, exactly?" Clare asked, putting the fork down and neglecting the bite she had been about to take.
"Well…I don't really know exactly. I mean…you know I don't deserve any of this, Clare. And yet, you're giving it to me. You offered me your couch, you're making breakfast for me, we slept together last night! I don't know what this is, but it feels like…like old times."
"It can't feel like old times," Clare tried to sound authoritative, "You know that. We…we have separate lives now, Eli. It's been ten years. A decade, Eli. You can't just pick up where we left off. It doesn't work like that." She was so confused. She wanted Eli to stay with her more than anything - to pick right back up as if they hadn't missed a beat. But they couldn't. It wasn't logical for him to just throw everything away in Toronto to come live with her - and she couldn't ask him to do such a thing.
Eli rolled his eyes and took a sip of his coffee.
"What?" Clare asked, annoyed, "What was that look for?"
"Nothing," Eli choked back a chuckle.
"What? Elijah Goldsworthy, this is a serious conversation!"
His chuckle broke into a full-blown laugh and Clare stared at him agape. He had totally lost it. Great. Now she was stuck in the middle of her apartment alone with a crazy person. Eli was chuckling into a fist when Clare had the brilliant idea to grab a biscuit and –
"Did that just happen?" Eli raised an eyebrow, his composure suddenly regained, "Did you really just throw a biscuit at me?"
"To get your attention," Clare explained, "Now, why are you laughing? This is a serious matter and…"
"Clare Edwards, you do not get to just throw biscuits at people and get away with it."
"It was to get your attention…why are you laughing?"
"Because," Eli smirked, as he cut his biscuit in two, spread jam on it, put the two halves back together and said, "You've got jam in your hair…"
"Elijah Joel Goldsworthy – don't you dare!"
"Oh, so you can be the barbarian and throw food at the dinner table, but I can't? Yeah, I can definitely see the fairness in that."
"Eli!" Clare squealed right as the biscuit collided into her hair. Clare let out the sound of a cat that had been dunked into a bucket of water. She picked sticky biscuit crumbs from her hair, "I cannot believe you just did that!"
"Well you did it to me."
"To get your attention!"
"Alright, so maybe I have an excuse too."
"Oh, I'd love to hear this."
"I can see this little smile trying so hard to break through this icy shell you've created. It's trying so hard, and that was my excuse – to get that little smile to resurface. I know you're enjoying having me here, Clare. I know you like having me back. I don't deserve you in my life again, but here we are. I just don't want you to force yourself to be miserable because you're too scared of having a good time with me."
"I am not scared…"
"Oh really? Because you're certainly acting like it."
"Well, even if I was, I have pretty much the best excuse ever – my fiancé walked out on me! Forgive me for being cautious."
"You weren't cautious last night. I remember you being the one to come out into the living room."
"I need to get a shower and wash this out of my hair. Enjoy your breakfast."
"Oh, come on! Don't get angry!" Eli hopped up from the table and followed behind her towards the bedroom, "Clare, you want to laugh. You want to have a fun time with me, but you don't want to admit that to yourself. You haven't had fun for ten years and the very thought of it terrifies you!"
"Excuse me?" Clare turned on a heel, put her hands on her hips and glared right at Eli, "Who says I haven't had fun in ten years?"
"Cat lady without the cats?"
"I have fun, for your information. I can be a real…party animal."
"Sure."
"I can!"
"Prove it."
"Fine!" Clare huffed, grabbed his hand, and dragged him into the bathroom with her, "You want these next few days to be fun?"
"Yes, Clare," Eli sighed, noticing she was still gruffly holding his wrist, "I haven't seen you in ten years. By some miracle, here we are together again and we're actually – well up until two minutes ago – having a good time together. I don't deserve this, but I love having you in my life again. Even if it's just two days. I want those two days to be memorable. I want those two days to…to tide me over for the rest of my life. We…by some weird miracle…we fit. And we work. And we have fun. Before I leave again, let's just have fun."
"Suit yourself," Clare let go of his wrist and untied the bathrobe from around her waist.
"What are you doing?" Eli's eyes were saucers as a small smirk played at her lips.
"You told me last night that you were leaving and I told you I didn't want you to. I said I was going to convince you not to walk out that door for a second time. Remember?"
"Yes…and I want to stay with you. You know I do, Clare. We both want this. It's just hard. It's like…we want this but at the same time, there's so much past history. I want to be with you and you want to be with me. But I hurt you Clare. And you…you're over here sending me mixed signals and I…"
"I know," Clare sighed and stared down at the floor, grabbing his hands and holding them sweetly, "I just…I don't know what I want either. I never expected you to be back in my life again. I know realistically you have to walk out that door again. We have lives, Eli. So logically speaking, you have to leave. But when you said we should enjoy these last few days, I agree. We should."
"And how does Miss Cat Lady propose we do that?" Eli raised an eyebrow.
"Prove to you just how fun I can be," Clare smirked and the robe fell down around her ankles, "I don't know about you, but I am in the mood for a shower."
When they arrived at the Met, Adam was standing outside waiting for them. It would be crowded, given that it was a Saturday; but it was so big there would be plenty of room to walk and see what they wanted to see. As soon as they neared Adam, he hopped off the wall he was leaning against and looked from Eli to Clare, and then back to Eli.
"Damn it," Adam rolled his eyes, a huge grin plastered on his face, "I can't leave you two alone for one night? One night!"
"What are you um…talking about?" Clare asked innocently, tucking a curl behind her ear.
"You two totally did it!" Adam pointed a dramatically accusing finger at the two.
"Adam, you're causing a scene," Eli glared at him, "And no we did not 'do it' as you so eloquently put it. I stayed on the couch the whole night. We were very well behaved."
"Uh-huh," Adam rolled his eyes, not believing them for a second, "I saw you two walk up here – all bumping into each other and shit. And you," he glared at Clare, "Are totally blushing. If you two were so 'well behaved' you would not be blushing right now! I think you two did it! Heck, I think you two did it twice!"
"Twice?" Clare choked and then blushed furiously, "Adam…."
"See! Oh I knew it! I knew it!"
"Are you done now?" Eli asked simply. It was Adam's turn to blush as he realized people were now staring.
"Yes. Yes I am."
"Good. Can we just get on with it then?"
"Sorry," Adam mumbled, "But really...what is going on with you two?"
"We'll let you know when we figure that one out ourselves," Eli sighed.
They headed inside and paid for their tickets. They decided to go see the paintings first. As they were walking through the spacious gallery, Eli grabbed hold of Clare's hand and jerked his head, signaling that he wanted to show her something. Adam was caught up in looking at a Titian painting featuring two naked women.
"Where are you taking me?" Clare asked, her brow furrowed.
"It's been a decade, Clare, but I still remember," Eli rounded the corner and took Clare to a more private section of the gallery. There was a little three-walled area and Clare gasped when she saw the painting he had taken her to.
"Your favorite," he presented her with it.
"Vsevolod Mikhailovich Garshin by Ilia Efimovich Repin," Clare tilted her head to the side and stared at the painting, "I can't believe you remembered – and remembered where it is! I love this painting!"
"Me too," Eli reminded her, "Vsevolod – the tortured madman writer slaving over his books – possessed by his need to write."
"Sounds like someone else I know," Clare smiled up at him, "Maybe that's what drew me to this painting. I remember when I first saw it. Those eyes of a tortured madman that stare right through you. I remember how I just stared at this painting for almost an hour, and he stared back. I love how I can almost see all his pain and misery and desperation. I love how I can…connect with him."
"Didn't you read one of his books?" Eli asked.
"Yes," Clare smiled, "My favorite painting. Thank you for bringing me to him."
"Of course," Eli bit his bottom lip between his teeth before he said, "Clare, I just wanted to tell you…"
"There you guys are!" Adam came around the corner, "I was looking everywhere! Way to just take off without me!"
"You were too busy staring at the naked women in that painting," Eli rolled his eyes.
"They're muses," Clare explained, "That's why they're naked."
"Or they're whores," Adam shrugged, "I mean, two guys in the middle of the forest with two naked ladies? Huh…am I right?"
"No, no you're not," Clare shook her head but couldn't help but laugh, "Adam, you're ridiculous."
Adam rolled his eyes, "Whatever. Pick on me all you want. What are you two lovebirds doing over here? Oh, that's your favorite painting, isn't it?"
"Yeah," Clare smiled, staring into the eyes of the painting, "I could stare at it all day."
"Please don't," Adam gagged, "I'm bored. Let's go check out armor."
"Yes!" He and Eli fist-bumped and Clare followed them towards the armor section of the museum. As they walked, Eli caught hold of her hand. She smiled up at him, and was actually surprised by her feelings.
They walked through the armor section and looked at the various armor from various periods. Clare wasn't really paying attention as Adam and Eli discussed which super hero versus which super villain could take who in which armor. She was paying attention to the feeling of her hand inside Eli's.
She thought back to the time she had spent with him in the apartment – the talking, the throwing biscuits, the making love. All of it had been so perfect. How could it have been so perfect when there was so much between them? Maybe he had been right when he had talked about some weird miracle. Clare didn't know what to do or think. All she knew was that he had been right – it was almost like old times. It was as if no time had passed between them at all. He was with her now, and he was healthy.
Clare nibbled on her lower lip as Adam and Eli argued more. In two days, Eli would be gone again. In just a few hours, her world had become whole again. In two short days, it would come crumbling down again. How was she ever supposed to be mentally prepared for that? How was she supposed to say goodbye to Eli? After everything? She couldn't take it if he walked out that door again. Losing him again would definitely be more than she could ever handle. She couldn't do that a second time.
They walked through the museum, her hand in his, and Clare's thoughts running a mile a minute. She never expected to have him in her life again. She had never expected him to make her feel this way again. She felt like she was suddenly sixteen and falling head over heels for him again. Right in the middle of Adam and Eli's discussion, she couldn't take it anymore. All these thoughts had festered too long, and she blurted out –
"Eli, please stay!"
