DISCLAIMER: I don't own Fairy Tail.
Lucy should not have answered his call. That "It's important. Let's meet" text from her fiancé's brother should have been ignored. Loke was the last person she wanted to see. His confession only confused and questioned her feelings for Jellal. Why the hell did she kiss him back? Lucy sighed as she entered the coffee shop where they agreed to meet. She quickly saw Loke who waved at her in greeting. She walked towards and sat across him in uneasiness. He easily noticed her discomfort and scowled.
"I came here because you told me it's important. So, what is that important matter?" she asked directly.
"Today is my mom's birthday, know my situation with her, but I still want to greet her on this special day," he explained and placed a bouquet of green roses on the table. "These are her favorite. Jellal always gives her these on her birthday. Since nii-san has not yet come back, I am asking you to give this in our stead."
"They're so lovely! I'm sure your mother will like them. I don't mind giving these to her… You know what. Why don't we just give the roses to her together?"
"I don't think that's a good idea. You know how – "
"Oh, come on! It's worth a try, right?" she flashed a smile to encourage him. "If you spend more time with your mother, she's going to remember you before you know it."
"Thank you, Lucy. I owe you this one."
-oooOOOooo-
Waiting for the nurse to bring in his mother, Loke heaved a big sigh to release his nervousness as he sat with Lucy. He visited her regularly, but did not see her personally, afraid that she wouldn't recognize him as always. The last time they saw each other, she only yelled at Loke in anger as if he was her greatest enemy. He longed for his mother's love ever since he knew and wondered what he could have done for her to hate him so much.
He escaped from his trance when Lucy's warm hand held his; the gesture was enough to calm him down. Lucy was with her so there was nothing to be worried about, he thought. Here mere presence brought him comfort.
"Relax, Loke. If you show her your love, she'll know it. For sure."
"Thanks, Lucy."
A few minutes later, Loke's mother appeared together with the nurse. She was calm and looking fine. Her eyes widened at the sight of her second son, but her attention was diverted to her favorite bouquet of green roses that Loke was holding.
"Happy birthday, oka-san!" Loke greeted cheerfully and handed her the bouquet.
She stared at him for a while and then her lips curled into a smile. "Green roses don't grow on Earth. They could only be found in heaven. That's why they're my favorite. Thank you for remembering me on my birthday." She turned to Lucy and said, "Thanks to you too! I hope you visit me more often so we can chat, my sweet daughter-in-law."
"I will, obaa-san!" replied Lucy.
Loke's happiness couldn't be contained at what was happening right in front of his very eyes. He prepared himself for his mother's usual hateful response, but that didn't happen. It should be a good sign; he thought and tried to strike a conversation with her.
"Oka-sama, I hope you – " his mother suddenly raised her hand to stop his trail of words.
"You're another woman's son so don't casually call me that. I do appreciate your effort though." She turned back and walked towards the door. "Kindly tell my son to visit me soon. I'm missing him badly," she said and exited the room.
As if strength left his knees, Loke fell back to his seat. "Well, at least, she didn't yet at me or anything. I was not called a demon. I – I should be happy, right?" he laughed as tears formed in his eyes. "I mean this is the first time she's calm with me around, but…" Loke finally broke into tears.
Lucy could only embrace him for comfort. She could not measure how much pain Loke was suffering from. For him, getting yelled at and kicked out were way better than being bitterly disowned by the mother he always longed for.
-oooOOOooo-
The sun had set when Loke drove Lucy home. It was a silent drive because all his efforts to start a conversation were shut by her one-word answers. An hour later, the two finally arrived at the Hearfilia residence. Lucy was quick to get off the car and bowed courteously before opening the gate.
"Wait, Lucy," he said, hoping she would turn around. "Can we talk?"
She sighed and reluctantly agreed. "What is it?"
"About the other night… I am very sorry for dragging you into it. I was drunk, and I kissed you… against your will. I'm sorry."
His apology sounded sincere, and she could see the remorse through his eyes. "Ok. I forgive you, Loke"
His eyes glistened with joy upon hearing her words. "Thank you so much. I promise it won't happen again."
"You're right. It will never happen again because I won't allow it too. Let's just forget that night. You were drunk and well, I was emotional so –"
"Lucy, no! Forget everything about that night except for my feelings for you. I mean it when I told you that I like you… I… I… uh…" He stuttered for lacking words to describe his feelings. "All my life, I've never been… like this! It's my first time to fell this way. When I can't think of any other girl besides you… When I keep on imagining how happy I would be if we'd be together… When I turn to dislike going out with other girls… and when I know I'd feel devastated if you marry my brother, I just realize that I've fallen for you. Completely… and this is not changing any time soon."
She just stood there, frozen and shocked, as she tried to digest every word of his confession. "You can't feel that way. You must not! For goodness's sake, I'm your brother's fiancé, Loke!"
"Are you really pushing through with this wedding?! Even if my brother's still in love with the same woman for many years? And you? What are your feelings for him? Can you say that you love him?"
"I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!" Lucy replied and started to cry. "You make me confused! Your kiss… your confessions… you only make me questions my feelings for Jellal, and I hate this!"
He smiled, obviously happy. "So I have that effect on you? Then, better prepare yourself Lucy! From now on, I'm going to even shake your feelings and make you more confused until you fall for me. Completely. Crazily. Madly. I told you I'm serious. I'd do everything to prove my feelings for you." Loke then hugged her tightly, and she just allowed him to.
-oooOOOooo-
Three – the number of days left before her wedding. Everything was set – from the guest list to the wedding hall to their honeymoon trip. Everything was fine except her reluctant heart. Simon is the one, and I will marry him, she kept repeating in her mind. She could only wish for these thoughts to reach her heart.
The trip to Canada was supposed to clear her heart and mind so that she could give herself to Simon completely, as she was five years ago. She thought she needed closure between her and Jellal, and they did exactly that. She bid him goodbye, but her love for him was there to say. The closure didn't sever its purpose. As she walked away from him at the park, her tears just overflowed. Her cry was not of contentment for putting a better closure to their relationship, but of great loss and emptiness now that everything was over. She guessed, deep in her heart, hope lingered – that after all, she and Jellal would have their second chance. However, that bittersweet farewell ended all things between them forever.
Simon and Erza's talk from yesterday was still in the back of her head. They both promised not to keep any secret from each other. He told her more about his playful childhood and boring teenage life. Simon was an open book to Erza. She always trusted him to tell everything of the truth, and he always did. The red head couldn't feel guiltier than she was. Few days ago, she was decided to tell Simon about Jellal. She got afraid though, because admitting the truth would weaken her resolve. Because if she were to show all she was, she would break apart. Some truth was better concealed, she thought, or else everything would seem a lie.
"Erza!" Simon's voice snapped here out her trance.
"I'm sorry. What were you saying?"
"Are you not feeling well? You're always spacing out recently. Please tell me if anything is bothering you," he said, concerned for her wellbeing. Their food arrived thirty minutes ago, but she barely ate anything.
"I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Anyway, you were saying…"
"I was just thinking of visiting your parents' grave. Since we've got some time now after all the wedding preparations, I should pay my respect to them before our wedding."
"O – oh, alright. Let's do that then," she replied.
-oooOOOooo-
It was a bright Sunday morning when Simon and Erza visited her parents' grave, resting beside each other. They passed away two years ago, but the memories were as clear was yesterday's to Erza. In a split second, she lost two precious people in her life.
Simon poured a dipper of water unto the grave while she lighted some incense for them. Then, they knelt down, lowered their heads and prayed peacefully in front of her parents. She wished them well wherever they are now.
"Yesterday…" Simon started. "I left one secret from you."
She raised an eyebrow. "You!" She paused and continued after a few seconds, "It's fine. Tell me when you're ready. I understand."
"When you went to Canada… it was because of him, right?"
"…."
"I already know about you and… Jellal," he confessed.
Erza was taken aback by the sudden revelation. She stood there in silence, waiting for him to elaborate further. Any excuses were useless that she didn't bother covering up. Hiding the truth from him ended from here on.
"While waiting for you to come home, I accidentally saw your picture with him. I asked your mom if you knew Jellal because he was a high school friend. Afterwards, they told me everything."
"And you kept quiet all this time?" she asked.
"'It was all in the past', I told myself. I never had the courage to bring it up and besides, I believe that you'll tell me all about it when you're ready.
"Your parents said they were very thankful and sorry to you, at the same time. They are thankful because you're such a dutiful and loving daughter; sorry because they weren't able to do anything for you. That's why they were happy when we met and started dating. They thought their daughter can finally find happiness…"
There was a long moment of silence because he knew she needed that. Tears flowed. She cried because she was sorry to her parents and more so, to Simon.
"Back then, I was so sure that I can bring you happiness… that if Jellal made you miserable, I will always make you smile."
"I – I'm so sorry for lying to you, Simon…I'm… sorry" she uttered in between tears. He gently patted her head to calm her down. "I never wanted to hurt you…"
"Do you still remember what I promised the day I proposed to you?" he asked, facing her. "It was here – in front of your parents."
She nodded in silence.
"I'm sorry. I can't keep that promise anymore. I can't bring you… happiness…"
"Simon!"
"The wedding… Let's call if off…" With that, Simon turned and walked away before he would break down. It took him all the courage he got to let go of Erza. He wanted to keep her, of course, and their marriage would tie her to him forever. He thought it was fine to act selfishly once in a while because he, too, deserved to be happy.
However, his happiness was her happiness – her smile. And letting go was also another form of love.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: First, I would like to greet everyone Happy New Year! I know it has been forever since this update and honestly, I don't know when I can write the next chapter. However, I really want to finish this story so thank you for supporting me all this time! Thank you for reading and please leave some reviews~
