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To Zippyfan: Mistake was mine! Oops. I fixed it - thank you for letting me know :)
Next up Tamsin's therapy session! I want to remind you all that I really have no real knowledge about therapy or marriage counselling.
xoxo
Tamsin took a deep breath as she stepped in Doctor Hendricks' office. She was nervous about how it would go. A counselling session.
"A counselling session.." Tamsin groaned quietly. She'd never been to a shrink, but had been told numerous times that she needed to see one. And here I am, she rolled her eyes. I won't stay long, she decided. Just pop in and out. All very quickly. No unnecessary suffering needed.
Tamsin was usually pretty adept in hiding her emotions, but now she felt somehow raw. These new, confusing and exciting feelings for Lauren were throwing her off balance. She was afraid that the doctor might pick up on that and then they would have to discuss about what she was feeling. Tamsin would rather stay silent. She wasn't sure what to do with Lauren. Stay quiet and seemingly uninterested or.. go for it. Could I?
"Hello Kate."
"Hi, Doctor Hen.."
"Maureen. Please sit." Doctor Hendricks smiled. "So what would you like to talk about during our session today?"
"You're asking me? I thought you were going poke around in my head and tell me I'm mental."
"Are you?" Maureen asked tapping her pen on the edge of her notebook.
"What?"
"Having mental issues?"
"Depends on who you ask." Tamsin smirked.
"If I ask your wife, would she say you're.. as you so eloquently put it.. mental?" The doctor probed.
"La.. Andrea is too sweet and polite to say that about me. About anybody."
"She seems like a lovely woman." Maureen said smiling.
"She is." Tamsin nodded after a pause. "Maybe.. too lovely for me?"
"Why would you say that?"
"Isn't it obvious? She's sweet and people like her. I'm not. And nobody really likes me."
"Andrea likes you."
"Yeah. I guess."
"You guess your wife likes you?" The doctor scribbled on her pad.
Oh shit, Tamsin groaned. I fucked this up already! "Um.. I know she likes me. We're married aren't we?"
"And?" The doctor prodded. "Why say you guess? You've been married for two years. Have you become unsure about Andrea's feelings for you?"
That hits a bit too close. I am unsure. Avert! Avert! Tamsin screamed inside. "Um.. I think, uh.. we're going to have to get divorced. We're only friends.. now and we have no.. um.. intimacy.. And.." Tamsin said trying to sound convincing. "We have no real chemistry." Tamsin groaned, I suck at lying!
"Oh." The doctor snorted, but then covered her mouth. "I'm so sorry.. That was totally unprofessional."
"It was.." Tamsin narrowed her eyes. "Laughing at your.. visitor." She finally said. Patient didn't sound too good. Visitor.
"I'm sorry. Please.. Forgive me." Maureen said sincerely. "But.. I know you're lying. Friends? Why would you even say that? You two have more chemistry than any other couple on this camp. I've seen the way you look at her. The way she looks at you. You two are obviously much more than friends."
"So?" Tamsin said petulantly and crossed her arms over her chest. Maybe I should just walk out, she thought. Before this gets way too deep for me handle.
"You and your wife have come here to strengthen your relationship. To save it. I don't want you to lie. You can speak freely." The doctor said. "I promise to keep your confidence."
"Well.. I.. It's just that.." Tamsin stammered, before sighing 'fuck it'. "I'm having trouble keeping my hands off of her. And that's the truth. It's just a matter of time when I start to dream about.. you know.. doing things to her. I keep telling myself not to do that."
"I'm sorry.. To her? I'm not following." The counsellor turned very serious thinking could she have misjudged the situation so bad. "Have you been abusive towards your wife previously?"
"What?"
"Have you hit.."
"No! No. I could never do that. Not to her. Ever. Are you insane?" Tamsin snapped angrily. "I want to.. you know.." She trailed off.
"I don't understand.."
"To touch her."
"Yes?"
"Oh gods.." Tamsin groaned. "I want her, alright? I want her! I want to have sex with her! I want to feel her naked hot body against mine! Naked!" She roared and then fell silent. Shit.
"She's your wife. And she's very pretty. You love her. Of course you want her."
Tamsin shook her head. She couldn't believe what she had blurted. This session was just lifted up to another level, she rolled her eyes. "Yeah.."
"I remember her saying in your joint session that she wanted to have more sex with you. That she enjoyed sex with you. What is the problem?"
"Do we have to talk about this?" Tamsin asked refusing to look at the doctor. Instead she peered out the window.
"I think we should." Maureen nodded encouragingly. "What are you scared of?"
"Nothing."
"Tell me." The doctor coaxed gently.
"This is confidential right?" Tamsin turned back to the doctor.
"I promise. I might use the same topics you've brought up, when I talk with Andrea, but I won't reveal what you have said. Okay?" Maureen said seriously. "What is it?"
"That I.."
"Yes?"
"That I put myself out there and she'll turn me down. I'm afraid she will.. break my heart." Tamsin said in whisper. She balled up her fists. For fucks sake shut up! This was supposed to be pretending to me someone else. I was not supposed to do this, Tamsin freaked out inwardly.
"Andrea loves you. You are together. Married. You are here to solve your problems. Why would she break your heart?"
"It's complicated.."
"It always is, if you let it fester." Maureen said. "What are you really afraid of?"
"That we get together.. stay together.." Tamsin corrected. "And she'll leave me.."
"It's a scary thing to trust someone with your heart. Completely."
Tamsin met woman's eyes, before lowering them again. "I just don't want her to.. run back to.."
"To?"
"Back to.. someone else."
"Okay." Doctor Hendricks scribbled on her pad again. "Who? Who do you think she would run back to?"
"Shit.." Tamsin sighed realizing she'd slipped up and was now really having therapy.
"Who do you see as a threat to your relationship?"
"Right.." Tamsin stalled. Make up something!
"Who?" The doctor repeated. "You can tell me anything. I won't judge and I can't reveal anything to anyone else."
"Her ex-girlfriend." Tamsin blurted. Fuck me, she cursed. I can't stop telling her the truth! She's put some kind of sinister whammy on me!
"And why?"
"They were this awesome couple and.. I don't know."
"Who broke it off?"
"Andrea left her."
"Do you know why she did?"
"Not really. I think it was too hard for her to love a person like that."
"Like what?"
"A harlot." Tamsin spat. "Or insert some other nicer word for one here.." She pondered out loud after seeing the surprised, slightly shocked expression on the counselors' face.
"She was unfaithful to Andrea?" Maureen helped.
"Yes."
"Andrea left her because of she had an affair?"
"She didn't have an affair. She had sex..ual encounters." Tamsin said. "I don't know, if Andrea broke it off because off that."
"Andrea was faithful? I mean.. it wasn't an open relationship?"
"I think she was. Most likely her ex talked her into accepting her encounters based on her.. need for sex. This ex has a.. condition. But I don't know for sure what went on between Andrea and her."
"That would be difficult to endure for anyone, if you dream of a more stable and equal relationship. Sex addiction is a difficult problem to tackle."
"I also had a short.. I spent a few nights together with.. this ex. Lau.. Andrea wasn't with her anymore then. Well, anyway we all know each other. And it's.. I don't know."
"Straining." Maureen acknowledged. "Have you talked about this with Andrea? About your fears concerning her future actions? About what she feels for you – What she feels for this other woman?"
"No."
"You must." The doctor kept nodding. "Communication is the key to a happy marriage. You need to talk with your wife about your fears and concerns. Not just the happy things. Now tell me more about the two of you."
.
Tamsin felt like some barrier had broken inside her, when she talked with Doctor Hendricks. She knew she shouldn't be blabbing about her real life and feelings, but she did and suddenly she noticed that almost an hour and a half had passed.
"What do you hope to gain from this camp?"
Tamsin pondered this silently for a while. "I hope I can be someone who.. Andrea would like to know better." She sighed wishing Lauren would want to at least remain as her friend, if not more.
"You think you're not someone she'd like to know better? To be with?"
"Um.. I'm not the easiest person to be with. I've got problems. I'm sometimes short tempered, scary and mean. Vindictive."
"What adjectives you think Andrea would use, if I asked her to describe you?"
"Probably the ones I just did and.."
"And?"
"I don't know.." Tamsin breathed out. Would Lauren say anything nice about her? "Maybe she won't be able to take this. Me. Take who I am. Maybe she can't change me?"
"Only you can change yourself Kate. The person you love can help you in your change, but the wish to change must come from you. From within."
"Yeah.." Tamsin shook her head. She felt drained. "Can I go now?"
"You were free to go whenever you wanted."
"Now you tell me." Tamsin huffed scowling.
"Tell Andrea that you two have homework for this evening."
"Oh?"
"Another hug exercise. Plenty of hugs this evening." The doctor explained. "You deserve it. You did good. It's nice to see you opening up. Talk to your wife." She smiled warmly at Tamsin.
"Okay." Tamsin stood up and headed for the door. She stopped, after turning the handle. "Thanks. For this.. talk."
"You're welcome." Maureen smiled as watched as the blond exited. "Very good." She murmured adding few more lines to her notes.
.
Tamsin sauntered slowly back to the cabin. She had taken a detour to the lakeside to get some fresh air. She felt oddly light after her session with Doctor Hendricks. She was starting to believe that there might be something to this 'communication crap'. Talking about.. Stuff. The Valkyrie was starting to think that she really should talk with Lauren about all this. About her thoughts. What would Lauren say? If I ask her 'Hey Lauren.. what do you think about our future? Have you tossed Bo aside for good? What do you think about me? 'Cause I think you're kinda.. Awesome. I can't talk to her like that! She'll think I've lost it, Tamsin fretted. Calm down.
Tamsin unlocked the door to their cabin and stepped in. "Lauren? We need to hug." She said feigning disinterest. She looked around the small space, but didn't see the other blond anywhere.
"Lauren?" Tamsin called out again. When she received no answer, she quickly checked the bathroom, but found it empty. Lauren was not in the cabin.
"She can't be with Mary still. It's been over two hours." Tamsin muttered with worry gnawing at her gut. She dug out her phone and called the blond's mobile.
Lauren's phone started to ring on the side table. It was plugged into the charger. "Shit!" Tamsin disconnected the call with a forceful tap on her screen. "Where the hell is she? Scouting out the kitchen or.. Mary can't take this long."
Tamsin felt her heart start to hammer inside her chest. "Maybe Mary is the killer? She was seen with Kay many times. Lauren was with her. Mary might have hurt her or.. Oh no." The valkyrie's thoughts were spiraling out of control.
Just as Tamsin was about to bolt out of the cabin to go look for Lauren her phone started to ring in her pocket. "Thank gods. Maybe it's her." Tamsin breathed digging out her phone. "Shit.." She sighed disappointed seeing Dyson's name on the screen.
"Dyson?" Tamsin answered her voice tight and her hand gripping the door knob.
"Yeah. Hi there Tamsin." Dyson greeted. "Are you alright?
"Lauren's not here. She went to see Mary McManus and her phone is here and it's been hours." Tamsin rushed out without breathing.
"Calm down. Lauren's fine. I'm sure." Dyson soothed. "I called you to tell that I finished the background check on rest of the staff. They all checked out."
"Mary?"
"She's a nice older lady. No record. Does charitable work on her free time. Lauren is safe with her."
"I haven't met her. How old is she?"
"Wanting to know about your competition?" Dyson teased.
"Oh shut up."
"She's 77. Too old for the Doc."
"77? I'm a lot older."
"Well, you've aged wonderfully."
"Shut up." Tamsin snapped. "I need to go look for her."
"Calm down. Lauren's fine. She can take care of herself."
"She doesn't need to! I'm here to take care of her!" Tamsin almost roared.
Dyson flinched at the sound, but let out a laugh. "I see." He said. A grin spread on his face.
"What?"
"So..." He drawled. "How's the camp going?"
"Fine. Lauren's taken some samples. And talked to people. I've poked around the premises, but found nothing of interest. Yet."
"Uh huh."
"What?" Tamsin snarled catching on to Dyson's tone.
"I know you've found something of interest." Dyson chuckled. "So.. How's Lauren doing out there?"
"What are you insinuating?"
"You and Lauren on a love camp – And you have nothing to tell me?" Dyson said in mock disdain.
"No, nothing."
"Have you kissed her yet? Again I mean." Dyson leered.
"Why don't you just shut up and mind your own business."
"You two's business is much more interesting."
"I'm not talking to you."
"So you haven't. You're cranky."
"I'm not cranky! I'm worried!" Tamsin huffed loudly. "She's still not here.. Where the hell is she?"
"My guess is Lauren is with Mary. Maybe in the kitchen? Go check, if you're freaking out this badly."
"I don't know where the hell it is!"
"Stop screeching." Dyson groaned at the other end.
The door opened "Hey?" Lauren called out.
"There you are!" Tamsin pointed an accusing finger at Lauren. "Where the hell have you been?!" She barked hanging up on Dyson.
"Right where I said I was. Talking Mary. In the kitchen."
"Where the hell is the kitchen? I'll come find you next time. Where the hell is it?" Tamsin barked with her eyes blazing.
"It's right in the main house." Lauren shook her head slowly. Maybe Tamsin had a straining therapy session, she thought. "Mary is a great cook. And such a sweet lady. And she bakes these delicious éclairs. And I baked some cupcakes. I brought.."
"Mary this Mary that!" Tamsin cut in fuming. "You were supposed to talk! Not start baking and make me worry!"
"You were worried about me?"
"Yes! I have to take care of you! I want to take care of.." Tamsin spat, but then breathed shocked. "Shit. I mean.."
.
Thanks for reading :)
A/N I'll edit a bit more later.
