Chapter 6: Tell Me a Story

Raine had never traveled with Cecil one on one, but she was not expecting much conversation. She found that she did not want to engage in such activities. The few monsters that they ran into along the way were dealt with easily. As Raine observed Cecil's prowess with the blade, she knew Lloyd had been right in that regard. She didn't even have to lift a finger, not to attack or to heal. Cecil was something like a one-man army.

Cecil wasn't the talkative sort when there was nothing of interest to talk about and she was not one for drumming up idle conversation. Raine observed her from afar, looking for anything out of the ordinary. She did note early on that Cecil had trouble sleeping, but that was to be expected. Cecil had survived a rather traumatic event, perhaps her mind had started to remember. When asked about what she could remember from that time, Cecil haughtily reminded her that she'd already talked about it and didn't feel like going into it again.

As the days passed, Cecil appeared more solemn, more close-mouthed even in the midst of battle which she derived the most enjoyment. On the last day of their travels, Cecil finally spoke up, but only after Raine had asked for the umpteenth time.

"Cecil, I know something's been bothering you," Raine said, "You said you didn't want to be like Lucas? Well then prove it. I'm here to help you, but it's important that you tell me everything."

Cecil walked a little way ahead of her, her head tilted to the ground. "I should have died," she said at once.

Raine waited patiently for the other to expound.

"I felt...my body being torn to shreds. I must have died, I'm sure of it. I shouldn't be here right now. And I keep dreaming about it. I hate experiencing it over and over again. I couldn't tell Dad...Are you really going to be able to help me?" Cecil asked without even turning her head towards her.

"What you told me must have been difficult, but it's a clue as well. You think you should be dead, yet you're alive. By all accounts you should be. Aside from that, however, do you feel whole? Do you feel like yourself?"

"I would like to say yes, but it isn't true. I've felt different the moment I opened my eyes."

"How so?" Raine asked, the hairs beginning to stand on her neck, but she managed to keep her voice level.

"I don't know. I feel—I can't explain it, alright."

That was the most Raine had ever gotten from the other and after that she fell back into her non-talkative state. There must have been a lot on her mind, a lot to decipher especially the things that could not be placed into words. She wondered what Felix would make of her. Would he take a glance and say "Aha, I have the answer" or were they in for a long, drawn out mystery? Even Felix didn't know everything. He would often refer to his books which gave her small comforts. She'd probably be beyond annoyed with the mocha-elf if it was otherwise.

When they reached her home in Altamira, the estate was quiet and lacking in warmth, but more so than usual. It was as if no one lived there. If Cecil was put off by the quietness of the house, she didn't mention it as Raine showed her the guest room.

What had happened since her impromptu trip? It didn't take her long to find the answers when she found two letters placed on the living room table, a place she would always check first for mail. There were two folded parchment paper: one with the name Felix in his shoddy handwriting and the other read Leona with her fanciful handwriting. With a sigh and praying that nothing too serious had occurred, she read them one after the other.

It appeared Leona had gone off in search of Lucas on her own, a fact that caused an eyebrow to raised. She'd become quite a bit more independent since her birthday and now she was leaving the house on long treks without even asking for permission. Yet Raine couldn't even begin to feel upset for all the guilt she felt for being so distant with her daughter as of late. The lessons she was taking with Felix had been placed on hiatus which was reasonable since they'd been going at it for almost an entire year without rest. Along with her studies with Felix, she'd also taken up studying psychiatry. Raine suspected it was motivated by Regal's condition, but she had seemed quite serious about it. Between the studying and taking care of Gentry, Raine supposed it was time for her daughter to take a bit of a vacation though this one was practically a goose chase. No one knew where Lucas was. She also stated that she'd called the babysitter in indefinitely so that Gentry wouldn't be left alone.

The part which really struck her was the last few sentences: And please, mother, try to be more supportive of father. Instead of waiting for him to regain his memories which is not guaranteed to happen, you should make new memories with him. If you two can fall in love once, it can happen again.

"Easier said than done, Leona," Raine said to herself.

It was not lost on Raine that Regal seemed far more comfortable with Leona than her. Perhaps Leona was a bit more inviting, but it was made quite clear that she looked like his mother. Regal could make a connection with Leona for that reason alone. Raine did not have such an advantage. The Regal which lived with them now was just fundamentally different. The events that they had gone through to bring the two worlds back together was so life changing that she doubted there was any connection to be had between them. The night she had to sit him down and explain at least the bear minimum of the history that had taken place and him staring at her as if she was speaking foreign language was enough to turn her off completely. She couldn't work with that. She needed at least some part of his former self to work with. Otherwise… She set down Leona's letter and looked at the other.

Felix's letter was equally to the point as Raine unfolded his as well and read it with squinted eyes trying to make out his barely legible script. Unfortunately, he was taking it easy somewhere in a hotel not nearby and would return in a week. The address he left were to one of the smaller hotels on the outcrops of the city, a city which by the way, now had beaten Meltokio on sheer scale. It was a two day's trip there. She'd send for him via telecast assuming the hotel had such technology.

"Sorry, Felix, I'll need you sooner than that," Raine said to herself.

She'd feel a bit guiltier if she didn't know how much he enjoyed a challenge and Raine was certain Cecil would serve as an adequate project for the trained healer.

Regal probably wasn't home and Gentry had probably already been put to sleep. In the meantime, she could make herself at home. The solemn Cecil did nothing more than clean herself in a drawn up bath and then attempt to go to sleep.

Raine climbed the stairs to look in on Gentry, her white haired baby boy who in some ways reminded her of Genis. He was a deep sleeper a lot like her father and comfortably tucked in by the caretaker. At the very least, he looked cherubic and content exactly like a healthy baby should be. She still had time, Raine told herself, to make things better with him, to forge a stronger relationship. As he was asleep, she decided she wouldn't pick him up. She left him to his rest and then walked downstairs to the living room where she would often curl up to read a book. She didn't feel like reading however.

All she did was sit down and reflect. Unconsciously, she was waiting for Regal to return home, but it was no guarantee that he would. Later he would come up with some lame excuse to his absence; a business trip being at the top of that list. Raine, however, couldn't help but wonder if he was engaging in less than savory pastimes.

She hadn't realized that Cecil had joined her. Her breath caught in her throat when she looked up and found her gazing at her intently, too intently.

"Raine..." she said heavily.

Raine was wide-eyed as she approached her. "Kratos, stop," Raine breathed. She was pressed up against the back of the couch by him, no, by Cecil. But Cecil would never look at her like this, so intently as if she would devour her. "You're not you anymore. Besides," she said with a sigh, "a lot has changed since you left."

He regained his composure as he gazed at her. "I can understand that," he said though he clearly wanted to go in for a kiss. He took his time, but finally he backed away from her.

She wondered how it must have been like on Derris-Kharlan. Had he been lonely? Or did he simply miss her this much? Perhaps there had been moments before when he had been surprisingly direct, but not with such consistency. Both times when Kratos had shown himself, there seemed to be only one thing on his mind...

"I lost track of time being up there," he said, his eyes becoming distant.

"Derris-Kharlan was destroyed, wasn't it?" Raine asked.

"Yes..." he said slowly, "Yes, I do remember that. But how is it that you're here? Is this a dream? Am I dead?"

"I'll answer all your questions, but first, you have to tell me about what happened on Derris-Kharlan."

"Derris-Kharlan..." he said with a sigh. He looked away from her and then started to pace.

When he didn't say anything more for a long while, she wondered if he was still there or if Cecil was "awake" again. "Kratos?"

"Yes," he answered, stopping his pacing and looked at her once again.

"Is it really that difficult to say?"

"I don't think I remember everything. I know that I should, but it's hazy."

"Not you too," Raine said with a sigh, but then regretted it quickly. She didn't fully understand the circumstances. That "Kratos" was even speaking to her was nothing short of an impossibility. Perhaps there had been something lost in translation. Maybe he wasn't all there.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Nothing, nothing," she said quickly. "How do you think you got here?"

"Raine, you haven't even so much as told me where I am and you expect me to have all the answers. As impossible as it seems, this must be Aselia or else you wouldn't be here."

"It is," Raine confirmed. "And this is no dream."

"According to you."

"I thought maybe I would be able to get somewhere if you ever showed yourself again, but it seems as if you're just as clueless."

"You've changed," Kratos said to her which drew a confused look from her.

"We're not here to talk about me—

"Humor me. It has been a long time since I've been able to talk to someone and for that someone to respond."

"You talk as if you weren't with the other angels."

"Shortly after they learned of Mithos' fate, that their beloved leader was no more, they took their own lives one after the other until there was only me left. I couldn't bring myself to follow in their footsteps."

"You mean this whole time, there was no one else?"

"I searched the entire establishment over and over again and found no one alive. I don't think I truly knew what it meant to be alone until that moment. I lost track of time. I have no idea how long it has been. I'm sure I was slowly losing my mind...To see you here, I wonder if I'm not just imagining it all. Please humor me, talk to me."

The last part sounded more like a command, a desperate one.

"Well, uh...what did you want me to talk about?" Raine asked finally giving in.

She pitied him. There was no way she could imagine how that must have felt like. Maybe that was why he decided to sit next to her though unbidden in a position that left little space between them. She felt his gaze on her. She realized that she must have been the first live person he had seen in a long time. That he studied her so closely was understandable, but it didn't make it any less uncomfortable.

"Kratos?" Raine asked uncertainly when he didn't say anything further. She couldn't turn to look at him, it would be too much.

"Sorry..." he apologized, "I lost my words for a moment. You said things were different. I can only assume that...there's someone else."

"Yes," Raine said quietly still unwilling to look at him.

"Who?" he asked singularly.

"You might know him: Regal Bryant."

Kratos finally stopped looking at her as he sat back on the couch clearly deep in thought. "I think I recall...But what a strange choice." Now he was grinning.

"Strange?" Raine asked crossing her arms, "He's honest, strong—

"Safe, manageable," Kratos interrupted.

"Conscientious, agreeable," Raine corrected him.

"Call it what you will, but he doesn't seem your type."

"Oh? And what is my type?" Raine asked only slightly intrigued.

"No one," he answered without pause.

"Very funny, Kratos, and you're not even good at telling jokes."

"I wasn't joking," he said seriously. "I can never picture you with anyone."

"Like it or not," she said with a sigh, "I am married and I have two children."

Kratos seemed genuinely shocked with the news and Raine laughed heartily—a rarity in itself, both his reaction and hers. It wasn't often that she could ever catch the man off guard and she was likely never to do so again. There were also very few things which Raine found so comical as to actually laugh.

"So I was right, you have changed," he said glancing at her.

"Is that a bad thing?" Raine asked in a wondering tone.

"One should never be alone. The one thing I feared was that you would never find anyone and you would die one day never knowing anything else."

"That sounds rather depressing," she said with a frown. She wondered to herself if she was all he had been thinking about all that time to himself.

"I was in a pretty dark place," Kratos said drearily. "I did think of you often. But now...now I've finally convinced myself that I'm not really on a comet and that I'm here in this house with you. If I've gone completely insane, then so be it."

"Kratos, this is real—

"There's no way to tell for sure."

"I'm telling you," Raine said exasperatedly.

He looked at her now and they met eyes. He could only give her a small grin. "Or are you an image born out of my imagination fervently trying to persuade me to loosen all holds on reality and embrace this new, brighter world?"

"I really don't know how to convince you," Raine said with a frown.

"Think nothing of it—I'm too weary to be concerned with the particulars. Now," he began, starting a whole new train of thought. "I want to hear the story of how you got to this point, how you wound up with this family you have."

"You want to hear a love story?" Raine asked.

"I want to hear your story," Kratos said back steadily, "That happens to be one that involves love. Knowing you, however, it would have to be more than that. You don't make decisions lightly."

"No, I don't," Raine said her mind already rummaging through the past, deciding where she should start, deciding which details to omit or add. Glancing at Kratos, he was already making himself more comfortable on the couch, preparing for a long story. He seemed genuinely interested in listening to her, a fact that began to warm her heart. "You were right to be shocked when I told you about my family. Getting married, having children were the furthest from my mind. I didn't even consider it, didn't consider Regal either; I had my own plans that I wanted to put into motion. After the journey ended, after the world was reunified, after you left, the only thing left to do was to live my life. I knew living with Genis couldn't last forever. There would be a day when we wouldn't be attached at the hip, when we started to pursue our dreams and our interests differed greatly.

"I became an independent researcher, financing myself by writing comprehensive textbooks about my findings. Sybak began to finance me as they thoroughly enjoyed the information that I had. I taught sometimes on the side to students who had the same interests. As you might have imagined, there was a lot of traveling. My paths crossed with Regal a good number of times.

"I wasn't interested in him at the time, but he had me in his sights. Our conversations were often dull and for the most part extremely formal; excruciatingly so. I thought he was a pleasant individual, but I knew for a fact that had it not been for the journey, I probably would not consider him my friend. Yes, he was surprisingly mature and polite, but keeping up a good dialogue was akin to pulling teeth. I didn't hate him; I simply did not want to spend much time with him."

"A horrible start if I've ever heard one," Kratos said.

"It certainly wasn't love at first sight especially since I didn't think much of him. It wasn't in hindsight that I knew he was interested in me. He made it painfully obvious that he was. I suppose it was refreshing for someone to be so direct, but even so, he wasn't what you would call pushy. Anytime we talked to each other, he would always invite me somewhere, ask to go to this new place, claim that he had cooked a feast and would require some help eating it all—my personal favorite, it was one of the more creative ones. He was constantly asking me out on a date and I would refuse each time until I told him one day to stop. I couldn't imagine what had brought all this on. What in the world had I done to earn his affection?

"It hadn't been anything long and drawn out. He simply said 'I understand' and he apologized if he made me feel uncomfortable. It was all rather bland and dull. I thought it was over, that I could continue my work in peace. I saw Regal far less strangely enough. I wouldn't put it past him that he somehow arranged that we met so often in the past. Now it felt like true coincidences when I saw him.

"I began to notice different things about him since he didn't seem like his usual self. We were simply friends again. There weren't any ulterior motives behind what he said and I found myself doing most of the talking. At the same time, I felt a distance growing between us or perhaps it was simply my imagination. I remember that time when I asked in essence to come over to his place. It was getting rather late, but I had nothing better to do. I didn't expect him to tell me 'no'. He never declines that sort of thing—he was a nice guy who always took the time to humor me, but I was denied just like that. Said he had an early start tomorrow and that it probably wouldn't be a good idea. I was unprepared to be left hanging like that. It wasn't as if he was rude about it—these were good reasons he gave—but it didn't make me feel any better.

"So we parted ways that night. I was still at a loss. I stayed at an Altamiran hotel while he went to his own home that night without even thinking to invite me out of courtesy. We had spent the better part of the day together and I had claimed that I had some place to stay, but still. I wondered if I should simply ignore him and go knock on his door. I wondered if that would be rude and pushy, but I didn't think too long on it. When did that ever stop me from doing something I wanted to do?"

"So you went to him that night," Kratos stated rather than asked.

"I did. It took him a bit to answer his door to the point that I was considering that he was simply ignoring me. Didn't even occur to me that he, in fact, might be asleep. I thought Regal would never leave me standing out there all by myself so I knocked again harder and harder until he opened it. He was surprised to see me. I could tell, though, from his disheveled appearance that he, in fact, had been asleep and that I had probably interrupted for no reason at all other than to appease myself. It also never occurred to Regal that there was no reason for this intrusion because immediately he assumed that something urgent had come up, that there was some emergency and it took me entirely too long to explain to him that none of this was the case. Then he was simply confused. I could tell that he wanted to tell me to leave, but I knew it wasn't in his nature to do such a thing. This was not the well-put-together Regal I was used to seeing. I felt as if I was seeing a side of him that perhaps very few had seen before. He reluctantly invited me in. I was only a little guilty, but I was more intrigued than anything else. I think it was that moment that he began to interest me if only but a little.

"He was so much at a loss what to do with me that he simply asked me what I would do at such late hours; spontaneity simply wasn't his thing. I told him of the restless nights Genis and I would have sometimes. We would stay up all night playing games and talking about anything. I asked if he had ever done things like that. Apparently, he'd never experienced a night in which it was difficult to fall asleep. I knew that I could poke holes in such a statement. Surely there were or had been things that might keep him up, concerns, deep worries and then I added at the end intense despondency. I had spoken of Alicia, the one who's death had spawned a depression so deep as to compel him to wear those shackles for so long. 'No', he told me, 'not even that. One must eat and one must have rest. I've never been able to deny myself either one of those. And for me to deny the latter would require a hefty amount of caffeine and for the former I must truly be lost.' I thought at first, he was obviously be lying. Perhaps we'd reached a topic he didn't want to discuss, but I looked at him, really looked at him and I found nothing there that would suggest deception. 'What a quaint little world you must live in, to not have to worry about things,' I told him—I was still in disbelief and not really understanding."

"And did he tell you his secret?" Kratos asked.

"Yes," Raine answered, "But it's not anything we could use. He's simply different. 'I do worry about things and I do sometimes have a lot to worry about' he told me, 'But there is a time and place.' I still didn't understand: 'So you simply stop when you no longer feel like doing it anymore? That sounds rather convenient.' I could tell he was getting a bit exasperated with my line of questioning, but didn't he understand that people didn't work like that? Perhaps maybe someone who didn't actually care, someone who was cold and calculative might be able to pull it off, but those things didn't describe Regal. 'No,' he started again. He was having trouble explaining—another thing I'd not seen from him often if at all. 'It is a habit. Resting doesn't mean that I'm no longer concerned. There's always the next day and the next and the next in which I'll be equally as worried. What exactly would it prove if I decided to spend the entire day worrying over something? Then I'd also be tired and miserable having solved nothing and be worse off. There's just...no reason to devote my entire day to such things. I'm sorry; I'm explaining myself terribly...' He must have said that last part because my expression hadn't changed. 'Actually, it makes more sense to me now,' I told him and I wasn't lying. 'Logically, yes, it makes sense. Oh, the rest of the world must seem foolish to you. We're only hurting ourselves more when we let worry overtake our lives. But it's difficult not to do it and until I met you, I thought it was something that everyone was guilty of.'

"This was at this point, the most engaged I'd ever been when talking to him. 'I don't think you're foolish,' he told me quickly. I'd forgotten that I'd included myself in that 'foolish' part. 'Nor do I think that of anyone else. People simply take things differently.' I could tell he wanted to change the topic even when it was finally getting interesting. He inquired as to what games I'd been referring to before and I told him any number of card games, real and invented games alike. He said he had a deck of cards somewhere gathering dust.

"It was then that I realized that he lived here all by himself. There was no one to do those sort of things with. It was more surprising that he had even that. Those poor cards had seen better days. Luckily, they'd been in a box else the cards themselves might have disintegrated under the weight of time. Of course, he apologized for the poor condition of the cards and again when he admitted to not being familiar with any card game. I was reminded of how different his world was from mine, his life even. It was silly of me to think he would know the same things as I. Surely there were far more other things that had occupied his time than a simple game of cards. I taught him one of the simplest games I knew and we actually played a few hands. He was terrible at it. Perhaps the game was too simple for him to grasp. To his credit though, he was clearly tired and I had interrupted his sleep and demanded that he invite me in. Again, I should have felt guiltier, but I wasn't. When I left to use the restroom and came back, he was fast asleep on the couch. By that time, it was getting really late so I took that as my cue.

"I didn't see him for a while after that. The next day when I went to go see if he was still around since I was still in town, I found that he wasn't. So I went back to my research, the thing that I was determined to dedicate my life to and I became lost in that. A month had flashed before my eyes before I encountered him again, but he wasn't alone. I hurried and hid myself somewhere; he was arm in arm with another woman, a woman who at the very least was pleasing on the eyes and they did not seem to be mere friends. Out of pure curiosity, I took leave of my usual decorum...and followed them. I needed to know if Regal was actually dating someone. Dating wasn't a strange thing in itself, but it was strange to see Regal doing it. I suppose I forgot that he was a normal person who like most other people desired companionship. I hadn't felt that desire in a long time and, at the time, I still hadn't. That didn't stop me from following the two all the way to what I assumed was her house. They were laughing and carrying on as if it were the best day of their lives. I couldn't be sure about the woman, but the laughter from Regal seemed tame as if he was only doing so out of politeness. At least, that's what I wanted to believe.

"When they reached her condo before they parted ways, they kissed in plain full view of everyone. It was more like she initiated the whole thing; I can't imagine Regal was remotely comfortable with that and from the way I saw it, she certainly moved in a hundred percent of the way. Even so, that kiss went on longer than I expected as Regal reciprocated, recovering I think from his initial surprise. Something about the entire exchange didn't sit right with me."

"You mean you were jealous," Kratos corrected her with a grin.

"No, nothing like that," Raine said shaking her head. "It just felt contrived is all. I was watching so intently that I almost forgot to hide when he started making his way back down the street. I didn't want to 'run into him' right after all of that so I waited a few minutes, returned to my hotel room and walked out to find Regal again. At the time, I was teaching a small class meeting in Altamira which ran for a few weeks so I would be in Altamira for quite some time. I wasn't exactly looking forward to it now that I knew I'd be forced to keep trying to avoid Regal the whole time and the man had a knack for popping up out of nowhere in his home city. Ironically, he was nowhere to be found when I was searching for him, but the next day I ran into him as I was doing some grocery shopping. I was glad to see him, not out of any obligation, but because I was actually glad. I didn't have to feign interest, I was, in fact, very interested in what he'd been up to after last time. Of course, that was where the interest ended when he began to drone on and on about work. Maybe I shouldn't have been so enthusiastic about it...Was work all he'd been doing? There was no mention of that girl I'd seen him with and after a while I knew that I simply had to be upfront with him about it. 'So, are you dating again?' I asked bluntly. It was the same thing as asking 'Are you really over Alicia?' He paused for a long moment before answering probably deciding if he should lie or not or better yet wondering why I would ask something so out of the blue. It wasn't as if I was one for that sort of talk. "I am," he finally told me.

"I wanted him to expound. Who, what, when, why, where, everything. In fact, I wanted to know so fervently that I surprised even myself. Why should I care? I had to loosen him up a bit more, remind him that he could trust me, in other words, pretend that we were far closer friends than we really were. Which, surprisingly, wasn't that hard to pull off. There weren't many people in his life who he could speak to about personal matters. In fact, he made it a habit to keep such things to himself. But even one such as that couldn't deny a person who was so clearly willing to listen. It was sort of a 'friend' date that we found ourselves on later that evening. I plied him with drinks—oh, don't look at me like that."

"Never knew you could be so underhanded," Kratos commented with an air of amusement.

"It's not as bad as it sounds, well maybe it is, but he was fully capable of making his own choices and it's not as if I was trying to incapacitate him. Besides, sober Regal could be such a drag at times. Everything about him is so practiced and polished, but sometimes you want to see something more...real. The quickest way to that if one didn't feel like patiently chipping away at his protective layers was through drink. And he told me everything. She was the daughter of a wealthy man who owned over half the hotels around the world and he had been introduced to her by mutual friends. 'Friends?' I had asked. 'Acquaintances,' he told me more specifically. People who he often worked with and on occasion would hang out with at functions and the like. Yes, even his so-called 'friends' sounded boring. And these idiots thought Regal needed help finding someone to date. I mean, I knew Regal pretty well. If he saw someone he liked, he would not hesitate to take action. Obviously, there had been no one. He was dating her simply to appease his friends. Oh, he didn't say that, but I could read between the lines. It had been a couple of weeks now and they saw each other on a fairly constant basis. Now it was time for my burning question, did he like her at all? Did he see things working out for the long-term?

"He told me he didn't know her well enough to even know. Said she had a positive spirit, a bit old fashioned and somewhat clingy. 'What's not to like there?' I asked, 'Sounds like your type.' I imagined Regal would probably connect better with someone who was old fashioned, someone more his speed. He would need to be with someone who didn't find him exasperating to be around with his horribly dry conversation topics and that would have to be someone clingy and he would appreciate someone positive in his life—he needed someone positive in his life, not the opposite. He agreed with me on the last thing I said—not my commentary just now—that they only needed time to grow.

"I was actually quite happy for him, to be honest. I thought it was time something good happened to him after all that we went through. I do derive joy from other's triumphs. Despite my initial impressions of the girl, if she was capable of making Regal happy, then I had no qualms with her.

"As I said before, I was going to be spending quite a while in Altamira and during that time, I grew more familiar with Regal. He actually had loosened up with me and spoke more freely and about things other than work. We spoke on his hobbies and more often than not how things were going with Jenna—that was his girlfriend's name at the time. Still, for some reason, I found it constantly amusing that Regal was doing such a thing as dating.

"One day, he invited me to come meet Jenna and I declined profusely. Then he explained to me that he was simply trying to avoid any misunderstandings with her. I suppose it was understandable that a woman might become suspicious about him hanging out with some other secret, unidentified woman. I suppose since I was considered part of his life that it would only be right to be familiar with her at the very least.

"That was the most awkward meeting I ever had with someone. Jenna immediately believed that she was in competition with me. I pulled her to the side and told her that I had absolutely no interest in Regal but that did not calm her at all. Regal claimed that she had a positive spirit, but that was nowhere to be found when I was there. Regal was being his normal pleasant self and I suspected, feigning obliviousness to the whole thing. To his credit, he did cut the outing short claiming that there was something urgent that he had to tend to, apologized for the inconvenience and that perhaps we should continue this some other time. Regal gave us an out and we clamored for it. 'Well, of course, Regal, no problem, I have some work I have to get to,' I was claiming.

"The rest of the time I was there in Altamira was the most awkward and hair-pulling yet. I saw less and less of Regal. For some reason, he no longer had time to spend with me. I couldn't help but feel a little cheated by this, but I suppose as far as priorities went, he was probably right to cut me off to some extent while seriously dating another person. I just hoped he was doing it for the right reasons. I hoped that he was happy and that Jenna was continuing to be the source of that happiness. I never knew if that was true until much later.

"Months had passed before I found myself back in Altamira almost for the same reason as before; a small group of students who had paid top dollar to listen to me lecture. If you find yourself lecturing in a resort to students who had sought you out specifically, then you know you've done something right in your career. It was a short three-week class. I was becoming a more established figure in my field and so were the classes I chose to teach.

"I didn't find Regal immediately, but I wound up finding him in a bar of all places. And, yes, I do visit bars occasionally to feel as if I'm somehow part of society. Researching ruins is my dream, but it is decidedly lacking in people. Sometimes I go to bars just to listen to people talk about normal things."

"I do that sometimes when I've been with myself and my thoughts for too long," Kratos said in understanding.

"At least I'm not the only one. I wasn't sure it was him at first when I sat down, but then we made eye contact and he actually made his way over to me. I mean, I was planning to do it since he'd been there before me, but Regal was just being Regal. I asked him what had brought him here and he told me that it was because he would rather not drink alone. I kind of looked at him with a concerned expression. Where was Jenna? Surely, she could keep him company. Then he gave me the bad news: he and Jenna had broken up long ago. I wondered if I had come in the nick of time then, to save him from getting himself stupidly drunk at the bar. I told him that and he told me that he appreciated the concern, but it wasn't like that at all.

"I asked him what was it like then? In my world, breaking up with someone can be quite traumatic especially since you don't date someone for whimsical reasons. If Regal was anything like me, he probably had deeper reasons for choosing to spend so much time with an individual. Surely the break up must have affected him to some extent. He didn't go into the details of the break-up and I did not pester him for them. He simply told me that it didn't work out.

"I told him it must be hard losing someone who you love. I should have framed the statement differently. It harkened back to Alicia and he did not need to be reminded of such things, but he told me something surprising in response. 'I never loved her in the first place, I saw her as a means to an end as I did you once upon a time.' Words became caught in my throat and he asked me what was wrong as if he hadn't said anything strange at that moment. How could it be that he could calmly sit there and claim that he never loved me? Why in the world had he pursued me like that in the past if it was for any other reason? It was so...callous, cold, and incredibly attractive—and I didn't quite understand why. Then he expounded when I didn't say anything for a long while. 'I know what love feels like and I've had my fill of it. I don't ever want to become that vulnerable again—it's far too painful and it exacts a near fatal blow on the heart. But just because that's the case, that doesn't mean I want to spend the rest of my life alone. I'm not getting any younger and I don't want my legacy to end with me. It would be a sad and tragic end to a once proud name.' Those were his true feelings on the matter. We had gotten to a point in our friendship that he would share even that with me. 'So you really just want some children?' I asked him, simplifying everything perhaps a bit too much. 'Well, I do like children,' Regal said back unconcerned with how my last questions had sounded, 'But obviously if that was all, then the whole affair would have been over a long time ago.' Then I returned, 'And now love is back in the equation?' He quickly explained himself, 'Not love, just someone who I could trust, depend on. Those things don't require love. They weren't things that I saw in Jenna either so I decided right then and there that it would be a waste of time to continue with her any longer.'

"Those things that he told me that night was so refreshingly logical. Even I began to see his way of thinking. Still though, if one didn't love the other person, I didn't see any relationship lasting for long. Regal told me that he would be content with finding a woman who exhibited those qualities and that he did not require anything further. A woman like that, he could spend the rest of his days with. He must have seen me like that—I was trustworthy and dependable to him. Really, I was the best logical choice for him. All of that was going through my mind, but he didn't so much as consider me as an option anymore. Didn't even bring up the topic despite being so uncannily open that night. Then I began to wonder. 'What if you found someone like that, who you also loved?' I asked him hypothetically, of course. 'That would be a difficult decision...I suppose I wouldn't know the answer until I was actually presented with something like that which is highly unlikely.' I looked at him a little puzzled. 'How exactly do you know that it's unlikely? Do you instinctively avoid people who you might fall in love with?'

"He actually laughed at this, a real laugh, not a polite chuckle. Oh, yes, the drinks were getting to him. 'No, it doesn't work like that at all,' he told me as if it was obvious, 'I mean, how could I? No one just knows that kind of thing. You must think I'm some sort of expert.' Then I further asked: 'Do you even know what would make you fall in love with someone?' I was really fixated on this at the moment. Ever since that moment he admitted that he hadn't been in love with me at all, I began to wonder what exactly could make him do that. What specific key did a woman need to unlock his barricaded heart?

"As a friend, I was a bit concerned about Regal's decision to cut love completely out of the equation. It was depressing really that he had given up on such a thing entirely, avoided it even. He'd somehow convinced himself that it was not necessary. I wanted him to experience the thing he'd been hiding from for so long so that he could realize what a mistake he was making. Before I knew it—and perhaps the drinks were getting to me too—I was asking him a question I probably should have kept to myself. After he basically told me 'I don't know' to my last question, I had to. 'What made you fall in love with Alicia?' There it is; I brought up the name and I promised myself I would never do that with him. It was too late to take back my words.

"But he didn't become the solemn, depressed person I expected. 'It's hard to say,' he said. He was actually considering it. He could think about Alicia without falling apart completely and he seemed to do so with ease. It made me smile despite myself. 'I like the color pink...?" he stated in a questioning tone. 'That can't be the reason,' I told him, 'Besides, you don't even own anything pink to say that you like it.' He argued back, 'But I do like that color, it looked nice on her at least.' I was keeping a mental note in my head. 'Anything else?' He thought for a moment, 'She was a very positive person, I liked that about her. Perhaps my feelings were enhanced because loving her went against my father. The more he was against it, the more society itself was against it, the more alluring she became. But that couldn't be the only reason. It's not something that can pinpointed. There was simply something about her... That's why it's so unlikely to happen again. I don't know what that something is and it's probably something rare anyway.' I store all this information away in the back of my mind.

"After that night, I decided that I would make him fall in love again using what I knew about his tastes both from what he had told me and from my own experience with him. I became obsessed with the notion of making Regal fall head over heels for someone, to make him lose his composure and simply love with all his heart. I quite literally started interviewing girls that were in town, in secret of course. It became a little pet project."

"But you didn't find anyone who was just right," Kratos said knowingly.

"I couldn't, but not for lack of trying. Even after my weeks was up with those students, I still stayed in Altamira. For the first time, I was in Altamira for no other reason than for Regal's sake. I searched and searched and searched until I finally became disillusioned. I had started to hang out with Regal more to understand him better, to learn what made him tick. I suppose I was showing uncanny interest in him.

"He had taken me fishing one day. In my pursuit of knowledge, he had managed to get me on this boat, a good sturdy one, but a boat nonetheless and I was scared out of my wits. He coaxed me into throwing the fishing line in his calm, patient way. I felt a little more confident with him there, a bit more able to manage my fears. He steadied my shaking hands with his firm grasp, told me everything that I needed to know, with all the care in the world. It made me sick to my stomach that such a man was incapable of love and that I'd gotten no closer to finding someone that could get him to drop his defenses. Quite plainly, I was a wreck out there in that boat with emotions running way too high and rampantly, at my wits end with options as well. I just started to cry when my nerves could no longer take it. I knew I would have struggled much harder to hide such things as tears when in the public eye, but there was no one but Regal there and I trusted him, and I knew he wouldn't make me feel like an idiot later. I knew he would somehow understand.

"He just held me silently and I listened to the steady beating of his heart. I was able to calm down eventually, but then I requested that we go back to shore. He obliged readily. 'You've never done anything like that before,' he said with concern clearly in his tone, 'I'm sorry if I've caused you undue stress. I was the one who insisted—'. Then I interrupted him when I no longer wanted to hear his long-winded apology. 'I made my own choices, you're not the one at fault.'

"I wasn't steady until I reached the pier and could step on hard ground. We stood there for a moment because I was still a little unstable and he'd embraced me again. I felt fragile against him but eventually I regained my composure. He walked me home even though I told him it wasn't necessary, but I wasn't really upset that he insisted. I didn't let him come inside with me, that would be too much. It was odd, however, I'd never invited him into my place before and even then, I still didn't want to. When I turned to look at him to say my farewells, I simply couldn't find the proper words and all I could do was gaze at him like a mute fool. I felt like I was losing myself, becoming lost the longer I did that. Why was today so different? And why had he become so silent, unwilling to move, unwilliing to speak himself? He advanced towards me and I thought the worst, I thought he would kiss me at that moment, but I backed away from him.

"Was this what I had really been trying to do this whole time? Trying to get him to fall for me? Ever since that time at the bar, had it really concerned me that much that he did not feel that way about me? I should have been relieved at that fact, but here I was spending more and more time with the man, sending him these signals as if I was interested and I really wasn't. What a horrible person I had become. The worst part was that I reveled in the look he gave me that night, he wanted me all to himself, he was singularly invested in me, passionately and without regard to anyone else, without regard to his own rules he had set for himself. I was the one capable of making him feel that way and not anyone else. It was a nice feeling. Selfish as it sounds, I did not want to return the favor. So when he moved towards me, I quickly said my farewells and pretty much closed the door on his face.

"I thought we needed to spend some time apart, let things cool down. I still desired his company, but not at such a steep cost. I thought a couple days would suffice, but then I thought better of it. Who knew how Regal was taking things? I received a letter from him requesting that we meet up somewhere. I ignored it, waited longer. Then, because I was afraid of accidentally bumping into him, I ventured outside well after the sun had set. Regal was most likely to be home now, if not preparing to go to bed, already asleep. Still, I hoped to catch him before that happened. I decided that this would be the last day I spent in Altamira. Things had simply become too confusing. I wasn't so cold as to disappear without saying goodbye so I thought to make this as painless as possible.

"I knocked on his door and no one came immediately just like before. I knocked before much harder and more fervently and still no one came. Then I simply tried the door and surprisingly, it was open. Had it always been open like that or had he been negligent today? Either way, I was able to walk inside. Everything was quiet until I made it to the living room. There were many liquor bottles on the table and it appeared as if he had already knocked back quite a few, finishing off a glass that seemed a bit too full. He turned to look at me and I noticed his cheeks were a bit rosy. I remember that conversation like the back of my hand," Raine said closing her eyes.


"Oh, Raine," with not as much surprise as she thought he should have, "Of course, you'd come barging in like you own the place. Come, join me—I hate drinking alone." His voice was a bit slurred.

"Seems like you're doing just fine on your own," she said standing there for a moment and then deciding she would take a seat. She was close enough now to take the glass from his hand which was surprisingly easy. He hadn't been gripping it very hard at all. "I think you've had enough."

"Why, Raine, someone might mistake that as actual concern," Regal said only glancing towards her.

"Idiot, of course, I'm concerned! This might not even be the first night you've done this. I can't believe you'd actually be in here...getting plastered. Have you given up altogether? This isn't you at all."

"You hardly know who I am in the first place. You pretend as if you care and you've gotten quite good at it. The worst part is that you don't think I notice any of it. You don't think I notice that glazed over look you get when you're not really listening anymore. But then why would you bother asking if you didn't really want to hear the answer? I'm surprised you're still here—I thought you'd left already..."

"I'm still here," Raine said quietly. She wasn't sure what to say anymore. It was as if he'd caught her red-handed and she wasn't the one with numerous liquor bottles on the table.

"Damn it—I didn't want to do this again. And would you stop holding my glass hostage?"

"No, I told you, you had enough."

He was looking at her fully now, his eyes taking her in so thoroughly that she was beginning to feel a bit self-conscious. "So you're still here, huh? I thought...I would never see you again. You like your space, you like being alone."

"That's not true—it's just...

"You don't have to explain yourself. I don't feel like hearing it," he interrupted.

He moved closer to her and she could plainly smell the alcohol on his breath. She, however, didn't feel in danger of being pounced on. He looked at her longingly. Raine could almost tell the exact words he would say next. You sap, she thought to herself. That he hesitated even in this state was a testament to his own restraint. It wasn't as if she was encouraging him as she didn't allow any emotion to show on her face. She gave him no cues. A part of her wanted to bolt and another part wanted to stay and hear him say it, the latter part of her had won her over. She sat still and braced for impact.

"I think I've fallen for you—I wasn't planning on it, it just happened. I know it's one-sided, but—"

"It's not," Raine said barely above a whisper.

It didn't seem to register with Regal who was now at a loss of words.

"I won't repeat myself," Raine said stolidly.

This time she did feel in danger of being pounced on, when he turned on the couch towards her. She leaned back when he leaned forward which actually annoyed him. He gave her a look as if to say ''are you serious?"—a look so rare that it was the first time she'd even seen it. She wondered how pissed he would be if she decided to leave at that moment, an angry Regal was one she hadn't seen before either. Even more, why was she still considering running out the door? But she didn't have time to think anymore because he had already managed to press his lips against hers—it was too late now. Her breath caught in her throat when he started on her. It was the kind of kiss that would make a lesser woman faint, she was sure. He was such a good kisser that she could practically feel his passion reverberating through him—if that was even possible. She didn't want it to end until that is, she could no longer hold her breath, in which case she pulled back from him trying to catch her breath.

But Regal wasn't done with her yet as he began on her lips again. She found herself laid back on the couch as he began to peruse her body, one tingly, arousing kiss at a time. She could practically feel her nether region lubricating itself in embarrassing anticipation. She hadn't known that she would react this way to a simple kiss and those feelings only began to intensify as he deftly unbuttoned her blouse, she hadn't even seen it happen, he'd distracted her too much as he decorated her neck with his kisses. When he came upon her bare stomach, her eyes started fluttering, her hands began to run through his hair, which, she noted, was surprisingly thick yet soft in the same way as a kitten's fur might be. A weary moan escaped her lips.

It was all too much. What would he do to her poor, vulnerable breasts which hadn't been touched by another man in ages? She was no longer in control. The heat coursing through her body, her vagina so moist now that a cactus could have slipped in and she wouldn't have noticed, her breathing so quick that it was as if she was running a marathon, and a strange, hard-to-describe feeling flowing through her body even more fervently with each gentle kiss—all of that was inescapable.

"Regal, p-please stop," Raine pleaded with the other.

She could barely even think straight, but she knew that she wanted to run far away so that she could think things through clearly. She hadn't come here for this. What was happening now was a mistake.

"Are you sure about that?" Regal asked in mischievous tones.

She felt his voice reverberating with her skin and another rush of arousal flowed through her.

"You don't look like you want to leave..." he said with another kiss.

Her hands still grasped his hair and it took all she could to pull them away from him. "Martel, give me the strength," Raine whispered to herself.

"What was that?" Regal asked. She felt his hands somewhere near her crotch area and her zipper being slipped down. "My..." he said as he must have seen her wetness.

"Please...I'm being serious..." Raine struggled to say.

She realized suddenly that if he didn't stop that she would simply be a prisoner of her own emotions with no way to control them. She closed her eyes finding solace in the darkness behind them.

He gave one final kiss upon her lower abdomen. "As you wish," he said finally releasing her from his spell.

As soon as she could no longer feel his warmth upon her, she leapt to her feet and made a beeline for the front door. She thought she might hear him pursuing her, but no such thing occurred. Only when she was far away from the manor did she allow herself to calm down. She was so unbelievably tired and worn out that all she wanted to do was lie down. The rest she would save for tomorrow to worry about. She began to see the wisdom in Regal's habit of pushing things aside in order to have a good night's rest. Sometimes one became too tired to do anything else.


Raine relayed to Kratos the same story, but in far less detail as she didn't feel it necessary to supply him with all the intimate details.

"I was worried about him the next day," Raine explained to Kratos, "He had been inebriated and I had not been there to watch him. I might have told him to stop, but he could have started up all over again when I rushed from the place. So I went to his place bright and early out of concern. I was sure that he wouldn't like me. Not many men would even begin to like someone who had ran out at the most pivotal moment. If I had been aroused, then so had Regal and for men, it was much harder to simply 'turn off' that kind of emotion.

"His door was still unlocked. I was beginning to think he always kept it like that. He hadn't left the living room but to my relief, the amount of alcohol left on the table seemed no less than before. He was clearly nursing a headache that I briefly considered healing, but I thought he should learn a lesson; it was something that would pass on its own anyway with time. He was sitting up on the couch, hunched over and pressing the soft part of his palm into his forehead as if it would somehow will away the pain. 'You must feel terrible,' I told him. He simply agreed with me and said no more. I made up a glass of water and handed it to him. I knew he must have been extremely dehydrated. He finished that tall glass in no time flat. 'Do you remember last night all that well?' I asked. 'I remember last night,' he told me without hesitation, 'All the way up to the part where you scampered off like a lost puppy.'

"I didn't know what I was more upset with: the fact that he had compared me to an animal or that he'd used the word 'scamper' like I was some kind of rodent. 'You are by far the most difficult woman to read. I think we're on the same page and then we're not.' I was still standing at this point and my arms were crossed. 'Most difficult woman,' I repeated, 'Had many?' It would explain how while even drunk, he knew how to handle me like it was second nature. Either that or I was just easily aroused. 'That's not even the point,' he told me neither agreeing or denying my implications. 'And why exactly have you graced me with your presence today?'

"I allowed him his testiness. The signals I'd been sending him were all wrong and I had basically sent him on a wild goose chase. Essentially, I'd been toying with his emotions with little regard to his feelings at all. Certainly, I didn't think he'd like the next thing I would say. I had come to break things off with him. I had no intentions of settling down. Last night was a fluke. I awaited his anger, but it never came. Actually, he agreed with me. Love was a messy thing and he wanted no part of it. It was kind of depressing how easily I was letting him off the hook about that, but it was convenient and I could leave without feeling guilty. I told him that avoiding the issue was never a good thing, that eventually he'd have to come to terms with it. He told me that he saw no reason to reconcile.

"But he wasn't trying to guilt trip me; he was only stating his thoughts. When I left his pitiful form, curled up on the couch, nursing his headache and with another glass of water nearby, I felt as if lead was weighing down my feet. Every step further I took from Regal, I had to stop myself from running back. My mind was telling me one thing and my body was telling me quite another.

"That feeling never went away. It was as if there was some magnet somewhere always drawing me towards Altamira even after I had left. I was a complete wreck when only a week passed without Regal nearby. He'd done something to me and now I could not escape him. I couldn't stop thinking about him, couldn't stop dreaming about him, couldn't stop imagining what he was doing or wondering how he was faring.

"All of this was beginning to become so tiring! I just needed to be honest with myself for once, come up with a different plan for my life that didn't involve being in denial. I came back to Altamira specifically for him to talk things over and see if he was in the same boat as I was. I didn't find him in the bar that he apparently frequented, thankfully. He wasn't at home since the door was locked. At least, I assumed that was the case. I knocked as well and no one came to the door. Then I went to his place of work. It was a longshot. He might not be there at all, but I was determined enough to try out all options.

"I strolled through the front door, spoke to the front desk assistant and requested an audience with Regal if he was there. He was there, I discovered, but the woman seemed determined to bar my entry. Any issue that I had could be dealt with by the human resources department. No, I didn't have an issue or complaint, I simply wanted to see Regal. She basically told me it was impossible unless she made an appointment and that it had to be approved by a board whether his presence was necessary. I finally told her that we were friends and that I had something urgent to speak with him about. The woman then told me that it would have to wait until his off-hours, that their CEO was a busy man and certainly didn't have time to deal with personal matters. I was thinking about strangling the woman, but my good sense restrained me.

"I decided to bypass the woman and proceed to the elevator in which case she called security and made the entire situation far bigger than it needed to be. Were they really going to throw me out on my ass? There really needed to be a better system of communication around here. Then again, I was coming in unannounced. Perhaps if they knew who I was, they might have been a bit more understanding. Not one of them recognized my face as one of the heroes of reunification despite there being a statue erected of my likeness in Luin. If Regal hadn't shown up, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to retain my composure. As soon as he saw me, he dispersed the fools quickly, telling the woman specifically at the front desk that she was to allow me entrance anytime I decided to show up no matter what the occasion. It gave me satisfaction when the woman apologized to me, but it wasn't needed since she was simply doing her job anyway.

"I was glad to lay eyes on Regal once again, glad that we could exit the building and find more privacy elsewhere. He wasn't upset or anything like that. He was more relieved than anything else. He'd been considering launching a search party out of desperation. I could find Regal far easier than he could find me and that was simply a fact. The ball had ultimately been in my court. We were both so very silly and making things unnecessarily complicated. Officially, that was when we started dating, though cautiously. We were both no experts when it came to making decisions based on feelings. Regal might have been more touchy-feely than me, but he was also quite rational when it came down to it.

"We took things slowly and some would say at a molasses pace so said Genis who had first thought I'd been pulling his leg when I said I was actually dating Regal. Actually, we got the same reaction from practically everyone except Zelos who has always been if anything remarkably good at reading people. He joked that the world was not ready for the genius babies that would take over the world who may or may not know how to cook. Of course, leave it up to Zelos to mention babies to two of the most cautious people in the world.

"I was with child even before we got to the marriage part. Being engaged turned out to be far more controversial than either of us had bargained. There was quite an uproar all over and that wasn't our intention at all. We weren't trying to make a statement. We were just two people who wanted to tie the knot after much stalling. In that time, I'd forgotten that he was 'human' and that I was 'half-elf' and that half-elves still didn't enjoy the same rights as a full blooded elf or human. Luckily, our friends supported us. It was simply much ado about nothing. Our wedding turned out to be like nothing we had initially planned. It was a good thing that we were firmly in love then and that the wedding was a simple formality or else I would have called the whole thing off. Naysayers, news reporters, almost all the half-elves in existence, and half the governing body of Aselia had decided to 'attend' this wedding, uninvited of course.

"The wedding itself was in shambles even before it took off, but somehow we got through it, kiss and all. In which case, we went into hiding purely for privacy sake so that we could simply enjoy ourselves and pretend as if the rest of the world wasn't so against us. I had told Regal that I wouldn't be upset if he decided that this thing that we had was too risky and call it quits, but he had looked at me as if I'd told him it'd be okay to cut off his arm if it made him feel better. It was much too late to turn back now.

"It wasn't even a real wedding. Legally, we're still not even 'married', but none of that matters. He still calls me his wife and I vice versa. Anyone who works in Altamira who first of all discriminates against half-elves no longer works there, but further those who even so much as give me a belittling glance has long since been fired. This wasn't done out of some puffed up sense of righteousness, it was simply for peace of mind. If we were to live there, then we would not do so under constant stress; that was what Regal declared. Did this hurt Altamira's reputation? A little in the beginning, but the world looked up to the heroes of reunification and slowly people began to change. Also, it was no secret that Altamira became a bit like a safe haven for half-elves and sympathetic humans. It was an example that perhaps the world needed to see. Besides, controversy in the end, actually made Altamira even more popular than it had been in the past. Its name was on everyone's lips and there were very few who hadn't heard of the place. That's why, Altamira, though it had been mostly a resort, grew into the bustling city it is today with businesses owned by quite a few enterprising half-elves that could not ply their trade anywhere else.

"While I hate that our wedding had to be ruined so royally, I do like the change it incited—it did much more than what Genis and I could have pulled off on our own."

"And now all that's left to do is ride off into the sunset?" Kratos asked the other when she said nothing more after a moment.

"Well...I don't know about that."

It was then when the front door opened. It couldn't be Felix, she'd just sent out the letter today and it was rather late. Could it be Regal? Maybe Leona? Those were the few people who had the key and could walk in so easily. She was looking up when she saw Regal walk into the living room. He seemed surprised to see her. She remembered then that she had claimed that she would be gone for much longer. 'Cecil' was looking on in interest as well. This would be the first time he had seen Regal in a long while. He appeared quite dapper in his dark blue and white suit.

He bowed to her as if she was a complete stranger completely forgetting that he was supposed to know her. "Hello, welcome back," he said in an infuriatingly formal way.

"Y-yes, this is Cecil," Raine said indicating the 'youth' sitting next to her who was watching the entire exchange with confusion.

She'd been telling Kratos of a story that this Regal probably had no memory of whatsoever. It was...depressing. The way he looked at Cecil, he had no idea who she was either. He looked at her questioningly.

"She's one of Lloyd's daughters."

Lloyd was another person he didn't know, but he accepted that as the answer and gave her a formal greeting as well. Raine didn't think it was worth it to go into detail about what had occurred during her trip to the Triet Ruins. She'd tell him later when she didn't feel her frustration rising. His eyes stayed on her longer probably trying to figure out what to say to her. He always looked so apologetic. He could innately sense when she was frustrated, but there was nothing more he could do or say that would help her. It made her feel guilty that she helplessly demanded things of him that he could not give. Instead, he simply bade her farewell and left her on her own. Raine sat back on the couch listening to his familiar footsteps as they made their way to the stairs and traversed them until they became too distant to hear.

"What was that about?" Kratos asked her. "Am I missing something?"

"Not now, Kratos, that would be another exhaustingly long story and I'm already quite spent telling you this one. Have you had your fill yet?"

"It would have to do," Kratos said standing up.

"You know," Raine said looking up at him, "You and Cecil have very similar features. Perhaps you should look at yourself in the mirror."

"It isn't necessary," Kratos said. "I don't wish to possess her or any other person. This 'Cecil', you say is Lloyd's daughter—I want to make sure...she lives...a full life..."

It took Raine a moment to realize that something was making it difficult for him to speak. His expression was pained just like before. She knew instinctively that 'Cecil' was taking over once again. Raine knew a transition had occurred when she complained of a splitting headache and demanded to know how she'd gotten here. Aside from that, however, Raine noticed a string of blood crawling from one of her nostrils. She drew a tissue from under the living room table and handed it to the confused Cecil.

"It's getting worse, isn't it?" Cecil asked when she wiped her nose clean.

"I've never seen this symptom before," Raine said.

"Was I doing something strange?" Cecil asked, "Sleepwalking?"

"Ah, something like that," Raine said, "But it's best not to make any wild assumptions. We'll wait until Felix gets here."

"I've never done well with waiting," Cecil said with a frown.

"Yes, but you'll simply have to make do."

It wasn't the most reassuring response, Raine knew, but she found she was too weary to think of anything encouraging to say. She laid back on the couch. What she wouldn't give to see that look of determination on Lloyd's face as he spouted out ridiculous, impossible things that would wound up happening despite the odds. But she supposed that Lloyd was just as weary as she was at the moment, probably more so. At least Sheena was there even though she didn't have much reason to smile these days dealing with the overly sensitive, low self-esteem Zelos who in his defense was most definitely dying. What made it worse was that no one had yet to tell Lloyd about any of it not even Colette who was usually so open with Lloyd and failed miserably at keeping secrets. Sure, Lloyd and Colette had many children, but they loved all of them equally. Losing even one would be an immense blow to the family. They'd essentially already lost Lucas. Of course, Lloyd believed that the boy was out there alive, he knew how to defend himself at the very least. No one had heard from him in a long time, however, and Raine estimated his chances of living less and less the longer his absence grew.

As Raine mulled things over in her mind, she realized that not one of them were in a good place now aside from Genis and Presea, but if their friends were having trouble they would be worried about them—it was a vicious cycle.