I don't own Chuck et al

Warning, mild sexual concepts.

Three conversations, one by day

Doc was driving. They were in black-out. No lights, pulled the fuse for the brake lights. Night vision goggles on.

When Casey handed over the nods, Doc quoted "Where does he get those wonderful toys?"

Chuck looked at Sarah "Vick, Vick, Vicky Vale." She rolled her eyes.

Casey growled.

They were off the bitumen for real now. Crawling in first gear, never revving the engine, using the engine torque to roll over the rocks. Headed vaguely North. Ish.

Doc was amazed. Casey had bulldozed his way into getting a Rover/Trailer, a shed load of gear, weapons, ammo, fuel, rations and water. And Doc.

Lt Wilson wasn't particularly happy with Casey. Casey was fine with Casey. They were on the road early in the afternoon. Then they left the road. And kept going. Into the dusk, then night. And kept going.

It turned out Chuck couldn't drive manual. The other three took turns at the wheel. Change every couple of hours. For the Yanks, the steering wheel was on the wrong side. Peddles were the same, but the gear knob(s) were set for the left hand.

Doc checked that Chuck and Sarah were asleep in the back. Looked at Casey beside him, and asked "So, what is the story with the two love birds?"

"Numb nuts back there got, well, sort of drafted."

"Uh huh"

"Well, Walker and I work for … different arms of the government.

"Army, Navy – right?"

Casey grinned, "Yeah. Well, no names, no pack-drill. A lot of what we do is in the public eye, so plain clothes. Well, a couple can get places a single guy can't. So …. They pretend to be a couple. Only I think it stopped being pretend about 3 seconds into the first meeting."

"Be the end of the Earth if they did get together?"

"To be honest, as long as they were discrete, it would be good for them. Take away my fun though. But there are rules. We need to put Chuck in situations, or get him to do things he wouldn't normally do. You care for someone, it becomes difficult to do that. Or you do something stupid trying to save them, and get dead."

"Honestly, think you're there already. Anyway, that's exactly what my Mum does to my Dad all the time. The 'getting him to do shit he hates' part."

Grunt. An amused number. "Walker's still professional. And as a team, we have a good success rate. If she was transferred, that'd mean breaking in a new partner. Anyway, poor numb nuts back there is on camera all the time. This has been the longest he's gone without being filmed. So, not a lot of opportunity for them" he added with an evil grin.

"Cameras all the time?

"All. He's important."

All? Ouch."Think about it this way. If they get together, it'll stop the longing looks and all the single entendres, they would be able to focus. Well, after about three weeks."

Grunt.

Casey took over, Doc swapped with Sarah. Chuck shifted in his sleep, and leant closer to Doc, who straightened him back up.

"Chuck? Rule number one; no poofters."


Casey was shaking Doc awake. "Time to swap"

Sarah was driving. Doc climbed into the front seat, locking his Austeyr into the built-in rack. She handed him the GPS. As he fiddled with the unit for a bit, then turned to her with a grin.

"There's a red thingy headed towards a green thingy… I think we're the green thingy."

She shook her head.

Doc looked at her "Oh, come on. You wanna hang with us cool kids, you gotta know the lingo. Get him to show some of his favorite films."

"Oh, he's done that." She replied back.

That puzzled him "You strike me as the type that pays attention."

"Maybe I pay attention to different things."

"Been doing that all my life. Look where that got me."

They rode for a bit, Doc scanning the night with his other new toy, the night vision nods. They were in pretty rough country now. Pretty respectable mountain ranges on either side. The terrain feature of the GPS showed these would get closer.

"If I were to put a check point anywhere, I'd aim for this narrowing here" he said to Sarah.

"Strangely enough, that what we thought too. Mainly because that's the border crossing. We'll pull over and scope it out. Should get there about daybreak."

"Any traffic?"

"At the crossing?"

"Sorry, meant tonight"

"Picked up a heat source on that ridge a while back. Miles away. Should be OK."

"Probably Bin Laden." Doc looked back at the sleepers in the back. "You know, in a way, Chuck's pretty lucky."

"What do you mean?"

"You. For guys like us, I mean me and Chuck. You kind of swim in a different gene pool. We still think Jean Luc Picard is cool."

Sarah smiled a little to herself. Two years ago, I had no idea who Picard was. But now, well, I've had to sit through some, and you know what? Picard is cool.

Doc continued "Look, unless I've completely misread Chuck, and he's an unmitigated cad" she shook her head with a smile "Well, as I understand, you are ordered to be around him, right?" nod "Well, unless he crosses the boundary, well, he can keep, I dunno, practicing? Am I making sense?"

"Believe me, you've pretty much nailed it. And that's what he's already doing. And he knows where the boundaries are. Well, mostly."

Doc had echoed that 'mostly' in a quoting girly sort of voice. She looked at him through the night vision gear "OK. Seriously, what is that? Chuck does that to me all the time!"

Doc grinned hugely in the dark "Should ask him that." He paused, "You know Casey's pretty cool with you guys? Sounded like he doesn't like breaking in new partners."

"God, you're as bad as he is!"

"Everyone loves the underdog."

"He's not…"

"You know, pathetically grateful to be yelled at for not staying in the car"

"Trust me, he's not grateful, pathetic or otherwise"

"Poor phrasing. But he's pretty sure it beats the alternative. Never seeing you again."

God, I know that feeling. "Well, if the stupi… if he stayed in the car…So what did, uh, Casey say?" as she checked the back for spies.

Ah ha. Doc grinned "Well, Casey trusts you. Trusts you both. Said he'd miss teasing Chuck. Frankly I think it would give him more ammunition. Just don't rub his nose in …. anything."

God, wish it was that simple. It couldn't be, though, could it?

Doc then said holding the GPS "If we wanted to admire the view of the mountains, we should stop soon, maybe go for a wander."

"Let's get a bit closer to this side, and find somewhere to hide the car."

"Rover."

"Whatever."

Doc grinned, "You know, any conversation that you use 'whatever' in, if you swap it with 'fuck-off,' the conversation still works?"

Sarah gave him an evil grin "What-ev-er."

She drove as close to the ridge as she could. They found a ledge that could give cover. The silence of shutting the engine off woke the others. Well, Casey, who roughly woke Chuck. They got the cammo nets out, and covered the Rover, making the ledge look …. gentler. Short of reversing into a cave, this would do. They geared up, and started climbing the mountain. Casey had pulled two ech bags out, handing one to Doc. Doc got Chuck to go to 'action.'

Not easy in the dark. Even with night vision. The nods made their own problems. Made the helmet wobble with the extra weight. They got to the top of the ridge eventually. Chuck was trying his hardest to be quiet. He had improved. As first light occurred, they were nearing the point where they could view the crossing. Casey got them to stop-and-prop. Doc got Chuck to imitate him by exaggerating holding rifle out, scanning his sector (back the way they'd come).

Casey whispered "Walker and I will scoot around to the front from that" pointing to the right "side. Ten minutes, move forward to that bush, prepare to cover."

"Got it."

Casey and Sarah ghosted their way into the rising sun. Doc noted the time.

"Holy bird-fuck Batman."

Chuck whispered "What?"

"They're good."

"Yeah."

The ten minutes were up. The two moved to the head of the rise. There was a faint footpath leading from the check point he could see below. Lucky they'd picked this side. Be a bitch to get unseen to the other range. Well, in a reasonable time.

Movement. If you weren't looking, you'd never have seen it. No sound.

Then Casey and Sarah walked to the waiting Chuck and Doc. Casey said "Ok, back to the Jeep."

Doc said "Rover."

"Whatever."

Chuck wondered what Sarah had found so funny.

They drove closer to the crossing. Out of sight of the crossing, Casey and Sarah got out while Doc kept the Rover moving slowly. Doc took his time winding to the actual road leading to the crossing. It was still early, but to both the boys, it felt like ten o'clock. And they'd missed breakfast.

While they were driving, Doc broached the subject.

"You do know she's keen on you, right?"

"Yeah, but we're both stuck. If I push it too hard, she'll ask for re-assignment."

"Somehow I'm pretty sure you would have to be totally disgusting for that to happen."

"Yeah, but Casey…."

"Would love it. Imagine how much more he'd be able to rib you two. He doesn't want to break up the team."

"God, I wish it was that simple."

"Look, you both feel the same. We all see it. Just, don't go anywhere, you know? Be there. She'll make her mind up. It's her call, it's always the woman's call. Just be standing within three feet of her when she does make her mind up. And preferably have something soft to land on when she does. 'Cause it's gunna be epic." They both grinned. "Or, save her life. Hero's reward, you know? Shoot the bad guy while he's got her drugged and dangling off a bridge somewhere."

"Drugged?"

"Well, far as I can see, that's the only way any bad guy's gunna be able to dangle her off a bridge."

"Nice to see you've put some thought into this. But, hang on, if she's dangling? And I shoot the bad guy …."

"Didn't say it was a perfect plan. Ok, shoot him before the danglage. Then, as he falls into…. OK, shit, this is harder than I thought. Um, and she'd have to be conscious too, so she could see you save her ….. bugger it, stick with plan A, less variables. So, Casey said you were on camera all the time?"

"Yeah, well, not what I want, but….. yeah. At my day job. My home. I live with my sister and her fiancé. Everywhere."

"Bedroom, bathroom?"

"Yep."

"Ouch"

"Oh, its worse. To explain why Sarah and Casey are around me all the time, Casey works in the same shop that I do, and lives across the courtyard from me. And Sarah is my fake girlfriend. Since I live with my sister, to convince everyone that we are a couple, Sarah's had to sleep over a few nights. Cameras ,…"

"Ok, um, how do you deal with … first thing in the morning?" Doc's eyes darted to his own lap and back "You know, that first glorious piss of the day?"

Chuck laughed "I like that. Um, not fun."

"She know?"

"Yeah" Chuck recalled the first time Sarah found … him? It? Him.

Sarah had rolled over half awake, and her hand had bumped into his erection that had escaped from his boxers. She'd moved her hand back to find out what she'd found. Then away very quickly.

Her eyes widened, darted to the cameras, then back to Chuck. Her cobalt eyes softened, her face fell. They both mouthed the word 'sorry.' Chuck sort of shrugged 'my bad.' Then, they spent the next few minutes just gazing into each other's eyes. They'd never spoken about it.

It was both the saddest, and one of the most hopeful moments they'd shared.

It was time. Doc sped up, and soon the crossing point was in sight. They pulled up short of the crossing. Both guys got out, Doc holding a large map. They walked up to one of the guards with an apologetic smile, and both arguing amongst themselves, and asking directions in English.

Doc had the guard's attention, and he pointed over the guard's shoulder indicating something. The guard turned 'round to find blue eyes, and blond hair in his face. He whipped back to Doc only find Doc's rifle butt in his face. He never head Doc's apologetic 'sorry' with a smile belying that word.

The other guard ran to the altercation. Only to have Casey materialize out of nowhere, and bring him down.

"Holy snapping duck shit!" escaped from Doc. How did Casey do that? It was like he'd been standing in plain sight all the time, just no-one had seen him.

Chuck did a good impersonation "Mmmm, duct tape…."

He got two smiles for that.

"Anyone else?"

Casey replied with a grin "Tied up at the moment."

"That never gets old, does it?" - Chuck

"Alright, let's keep going."

"You know, I do believe this constitutes an international incident." - Doc

Chuck smiled, "Shiny, let's be bad guys."


A.N. The 'morning after' scene is my thoughts on what could happen after ne71 hilarious "Chuck Vs the Premium Drunk."

I have also shamelessly plagiarised the "stay within three feet" line from Course Jester's excellent "Sarah Vs The Second First Date."

Both these fanfics are listed in my "favourite stories," if you haven't read them, I do recommend them.

And knowing my luck, someone will point out that the Toyota Whatever used as the Nerd Herders are manual. I have no idea. I have assumed. Old Warrant Officers saying - that means making an Ass out of U and Me.

Thanks to Jimmy 144 for pointing out that quoting Galaxy Quest has effectively given Doc the "red shirt of death." Hadn't thought of that...