AUTHOR'S NOTE:

This is where the story gets more into a 'triangle', triangle, so it gets more angsty.

And it's less Lana being horny about both of them.

She has made her choice and now the three have to cope.

They have to cope, and someone changes his mind…

WARNING: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.

xxxx

Dean and Sam parked the car in front of an abandoned house and retrieved weapons from the trunk. We had been keeping to the three of us lately, and even when nights resorted in me and Sam cuddling while we talked to Dean, the three of us were getting to know each other better. Now we were at the end of a rather tiring hunt, and the boys were getting out the strong taisers, and I was making sure all of my research was par.

"So, the strong ones?" I asked them as they were getting the taisers out of the back.

"Yeah." Dean replied with a nod.

"I really don't think this is a good idea." I told them, looking at the strong taisers that could only be used once. "Because I really think there's another way to go about it."

"We'll be fine." Sam assured me, and kissed me swiftly. "How about you stay here?"

I really hated having to be the look-out, but sometimes it was my job, and I mostly accepted it. To be fair, Sam and Dean were far more experienced than I was when it came to hunting, so if they told me to stay behind, I gave them very little distress about it. I was starting to give them more grief about it in some situations, but still didn't feel like it was entirely my place yet these days.

I frowned at him when he pulled his lips away. "And miss the fun?"

"We can handle it, and you've been doing all the researching." Dean told me with a shrug. "Just hang out here and be look-out."

"All right. Fine. I'll stay." I told them with a sigh.

"Good." Sam said kissing me swiftly and then leaving with Dean to go and find the demon we were tracking.

I sat in the car while the boys went into the house, and decided to call Jen, but all I got was her answering machine, so I left a message. She'd been pretty distant since her parents had her doing some online classes since she was taking time off from hunting now that I had a new 'crew' to run with, and I really couldn't blame her parents for wanting to keep her safe. When I hung up though, I looked up to see Sam coming towards me fast, and I hurriedly got out of the car to meet him as he came towards me.

"Where's Dean?" I asked him in a panicked voice as I noted his worried face.

"Call 911 now, Lan!" Sam told me frantically.

I didn't ask questions, I just dialed and got an ambulance, learning that Dean had somehow electrocuted himself. At the hospital, Sam gave the nurse a false credit card, with the name Burkowitz on it, to pay the bill and went back to make his statement to two police officers. He told them that we had taken a shortcut that took them by that house and we heard screaming, so we stopped and found the kids in the basement. Sam put an end to his statement to go talk to the doctor who told him that the electrocution triggered a heart attack and Dean's heart was damaged, and I found myself getting teary eyed and Sam grasped my hand because he knew how much I cared for Dean.

"How damaged? Sam asked the doctor.

"We've done all we can." The doctor answered. "We can try and keep him comfortable at this point, but I give him a couple of weeks at most, maybe a month."

"No, no, there's…there's got to be something you can do, some kind of treatment." Sam replied, doing his best to hold back his tears as some leaked out of my eyes.

The doctor gave him a rather sorry look. "We can't work miracles. I really am sorry."

"Oh God." I told no one in particular, sitting in a nearby chair. "I should have gone with you two and stopped this from happening."

"No Lan, don't think like that. Let's just go and visit him okay?" Sam asked me.

He was trying to be so strong for me and I wished he wouldn't, because honestly as much as I cared about Dean and was devastated at what was happening, but I wanted Sam to be able to cope in his own way without worrying about me. Our relationship was definitely not one-sided, and I wanted him to know that if he needed to show something, I was here for him—he, unlike Dean, actually talked about how he was feeling without making jokes about it. Even so, he wanted to be strong for Dean too, and so he grasped my hand and we went into Dean's room and found him busy watching television, knowing we came in, but keeping his eyes fixed on the TV.

"You actually watch daytime TV? It's terrible." Dean told us with a slight smile in his tone as he spoke to us.

"I talked to your doctor." Sam answered in a voice full of sadness.

"That fabric softener teddy bear, ooh I'm gonna hunt that little bitch down." Dean said, and I sat next to him on the bed, Sam watching us.

"Dean?" Sam asked him.

Dean looked at him and turned the TV off, shifting a little as my fingers found their way into his hair. "Yeah, all right, well, looks like you're gonna leave town without me."

"What are you talking about? I'm not gonna leave you here." Sam replied.

Dean gave him a look when Sam stood his ground firmly and I was surprised actually that Dean would honestly think we would just take off without him. We were family, and there was absolutely no way that Sam and I were going to leave him behind when he had limited time to live. We were planning on spending our time with him, and trying to figure out how to get him out of this fate because there was always a supernatural answer, and he knew that.

"Hey, you'd better take care of that car or I swear I'll haunt your ass." Dean tried to joke.

"I don't think that's funny." Sam replied, tears in his eyes.

I shook my head and sniffled a little, holding it together as best I could. "Sam's right…the joke isn't funny, Dean."

"Oh c'mon, it's a little funny." He told Sam who tried to form half a smile but above all was just trying to hold back his tears. "Look Sam, what can I say, man? It's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw, that's it, end of the story."

I bit my lip and did a rather good job at keeping the tears at bay, wishing I had more time with him, and wishing he wasn't being so cavalier about all of it. Dean was not supposed to die on me already—I hadn't even gotten to have the kind of time with him that I wanted, and I wished desperately that Dean and I had more time to spend together. I was losing one of my really good friends, and I really wanted Sam and Dean to have more time to get to know each other too…after all they were getting to know each other again after their fall-out when Sam went to college.

"Don't talk like that, alright? We still have options." Sam explained as I nodded.

"What options? You got burial or cremation." He told Sam who shook his head. "No, I know it's not easy… but I'm gonna die and you can't stop it."

I looked at Dean and we made eye contact as I stroked his hair. "Watch us."

Sam nodded and after he and I exchanged looks with each other and he nodded, he left the room and I sat there looking at Dean, and he looked up at the television again. Every time the two of us got into a situation like this, I was the one who had to try and start the conversation because Dean hated having intimate talks and I needed it. This was serious and I didn't want to lose him and he knew it, but he had to cope with it all by making jokes, and I was going to have to deal with that.

"This really is crap." He said, looking at me for a moment as I wiped the escaped tears away and gave a brave smile.

I lay there next to him and curled up with him, knowing that if I tried to talk, my feelings would pour out of me and it might just make him feel worse. I knew him well enough to know that if I just started spilling my guts out, then he would start to lose it and he really didn't want to right now…but part of me needed it. Whether he liked it or not, Dean Winchester meant something to me and if he really was going to die, then he needed to have the decency to have a personal conversation with me.

"Come on, where's my brave girl?" He asked me after a pause. "I mean even Sam was holding it in better then you. And why aren't you with your boyfriend anyway?"

He laid down a little bit and held me, and I snuggled into him and tried to form the words in my head because I really didn't know how to make them come out. I simply wanted to spend time with him because something bad had happened to him that I was responsible for, and I felt like I really needed to be here for him. Sam was my boyfriend, but he also understood that Dean meant a lot to me, and I could make it up to Sam later, but for now Dean needed me…and I needed him.

"Don't try to think too much—it might hurt." I told him with a smile on my face, snuggling into him. "Sam and I are fine I just want to make sure that you're all right. You are, right? I mean besides the knowing that you're going to die?"

Dean kissed my forehead. "I'm going to be fine, Lanni."

I looked at him and smiled a little more, the tears coming back and him shaking his head and kissing my forehead again, holding me closer. He'd just given me a nickname and part of me felt like it was because he knew he was dying, but the other part of me was pretty certain that he just honestly felt that right in that moment, he and I were connected, and it was time he made me feel like he actually cared. Dean wiped my tears away with his thumbs and then made a joke and I rolled my eyes and got off of the hospital bed, heading to the motel room with Sam.

"How is he doing?" Sam asked me when I shut the door behind me.

I shrugged a little. "He's not actually coping if that's what you want you want to know."

Sam nodded sadly. "Yeah…that was what I wanted to know. Hey…are you all right, Lan?"

I smiled at him as genuinely as I could. "Me? Yeah…I'll be all right. You should call your dad."

"Already done." He said, and came over to me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

I let him gather me up in his arms and stroke my hair, and I suddenly realized that when Dean was gone, Sam and I would only have each other. If there was anything that I knew right in that minute, it was that as much as we needed Dean, and as much as we were sure that we could get him out of this and keep him with us, we would always have each other after he was gone. There was an unspoken agreement there to take care of each other, and I never felt closer to either of them than right in that moment.

"I'm so glad I know you two." I told Sam, looking up at him and smiling as he looked down at me and ran his fingers over my face. "You really don't understand how much I appreciate you, Sammy."

Before he could answer me I'd leaned up for a kiss, and Sam needed the emotional release as much as I did. Besides, we'd both been kind of working up to this physical milestone for a little while now, and though I had kind of hoped it wouldn't be partially because we were in need of cheering up, I knew that deep down it was something both of us had been wanting, and we were both willing. Sam was so sweet, and so considerate, and he asked me twice if this was something that I wanted…he really wanted to make sure I wasn't just trying to make him feel better.

I smiled at him and I pulled my shirt off, Sam nodding as he smiled and pulling his off too, both of us standing there with our tops off, our eyes meeting as he stepped up close to me. The eye contact was only broken so that I could look at his pecks, running my fingers along them and wondering how I came to be the way that I was now. Once drunken night and suddenly sex was just kind of sex…there was nothing really magical about it anymore…nothing sacred anyway. I'd gone all the way through High School with one boyfriend…and we never had sex because I was saving myself.

One of Sam's hands traveled down my body to the zipper on my jeans and I watched him unzip it as I realized that there was a reason for everything I was doing. I honestly believed in fate, and I believed in karma, and I believed that there was a plan laid out for everything and even though it was my fault I let myself be deflowered, there was nothing wrong with sex. Sam and I were in a committed relationship, and the majority of the world did this in their relationships all the time, and even though it complicated things, it could bring people closer together.

"You're thinking a lot." Sam told me, slipping his long fingers down low which made me close my eyes and claw at his pecks a little at the invasion.

I bit my lip and then composed my thoughts as his finger dipped and stroked inside of me, putting my senses into overdrive. "Are you sure you're ready to do this…I don't want to hurt your heart anymore than it's already hurt by making you regret something."

Truth was I'd be rather upset if he just simply pulled his finger out and then pulled away and made everything stop. I was on autopilot now and he couldn't turn me off if he wanted to, and he seemed to like it that way. He responded to my words by using his free hand to cup my chin, bringing me in for a kiss as his invading finger pushed a little farther in and made me moan against his mouth. Why did both of the Winchester boys have to be experienced when it came to sex? Damn them.

We quickly got each other out of the remaining obstacles and made it to the bed, Sam stroking my hair and me tugging at his softly as we continued to bruise each other's mouths with kisses as we merged. He moved against me deliberate and slow, and when neither of us could really take anymore of it, Sam held me close to him and kissed me soft and slow as we tried to process the last two go's. It had helped us to cope in our time of need, and it had felt incredible, but something was off and we both knew it…but we were far too dependant on each other to say anything about it.

xxxx

Three days later, Sam and I were in the hotel room and Sam tried to call his father, but he got the voice mail again. It was becoming a rather regular habit for John to ignore calls, and I was kind of getting sick and tired of it because I really thought he should care more about his own children. Dean was dying, and John didn't have the decency to pick up or to call back, so what did that really say about him? I mean honestly…what kind of father would do something like that?

"Hey Dad, it's Sam. Hmm, you probably won't get this but…it's Dean." Sam sighed. "He's sick and…doctors say there's nothing they can do. Hmm, but they don't know the things we know, right? So don't worry 'cause I'll do whatever it takes to get him better. Right, I just wanted you to know."

He hung up and dropped the phone as I came and sat next to him, feeling like I should really be of more help than I was being. Sam and I had found a few things that we wanted to go over with Dean, but first we were trying to get a hold of John again and to no avail. So I ran my fingers through Sam's hair and smiled at him as he kissed me softly, knowing then and there that my presence really was enough as far as Sam was concerned. Now all we had to do was go and talk to Dean about what we had finally com across, that we were sure would save Dean's life—and that was what we were really set on.

"At least Joshua called you back about saving Dean." I told him, running my nose along his. "That's all that matters right now—that we have an option."

Sam nodded, and held me close, and I returned the embrace and ran my fingers along his scalp as we sat there on the motel couch and thought things over. All I needed was to be here for him, and he was always going to be there for me, no matter what happened, and for this moment he needed comfort because his father was ignoring him. Suddenly somebody knocked on the door, which surprised us because why would someone be looking for us? It surprised us even more when Sam opened the door and Dean was standing there.

"Are you crazy?" Sam asked as I got up to go to Dean.

"I'm not going to die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot." Dean answered.

Sam and I saw right through his attitude and Sam pointed it out to him as I helped him to sit down. Dean wanted to go through the journal just in case there was anyway that we could get him out of this since he knew Sam and I had been trying to do just that, and I piped up about Joshua. I told him that Joshua called Sam back and told him about a guy in Nebraska—a 'specialist' as Sam put it.

"You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you?" Dean asked us with a slight chuckle, and we knew he was grateful for it.

I shook my head as Sam said, "We're not gonna let you die period. We're going."

Even though he put up a little bit of fuss because he was Dean Winchester and it was in his nature to do just that, we headed out to see the specialist because even more than he wanted to be difficult, Dean wanted to be saved. So when we got to the place, we parked the car near a tent a lot of suffering people were heading for, and I hurried over to the passenger door to help Dean out of the car. Sam got there as Dean shook his head at me and reached out to help Dean get out of the car, but Dean pushed him away and then looked around annoyed.

Dean gave Sam a look. "Man, you're a lying bastard. Thought you said we were going to see a doctor?"

"I believe he said a 'specialist'." I told him with a smile on my face.

"Look Dean, this guy is supposed to be the real deal." Sam pleaded with him. "Lan and I spent a lot of time trying to make sure he was the real deal so we wouldn't get your hopes up too much."

"I can't believe you brought me here to see some guy who heals people out of a tent." Dean argued.

One of the people heading towards the tent heard Dean and said, "Reverend Le Grange is a great man."

"Yeah, that's nice." Dean retorted.

I gave Dean a look and he shrugged his shoulders at me, not really in the mood to argue with me about him being rude or not. Since he was dying I had to let it go, and as we walked, we passed a protester who was distributing tracts. It was sort of nice to see that not everyone followed the flock, but at the same time, Dean really didn't need anything else detouring him from what Sam and I were trying to accomplish here.

"I take that he's not a part of the flock." Dean said ironically.

"Well when people see something they can't explain, there's controversy." Sam protested with a shrug.

Dean gave Sam a look. "C'mon Sam! A faith healer!"

"Maybe it's time to have a little faith Dean." Sam told him.

"You know what I've got faith in? Reality. Knowing what's really going on." Dean explained to his brother.

The boys and I had never actually sat down and talked about faith before, but it seemed like one of those things that really honestly needed to be discussed. I was huge on faith—it was one of those things that really kept me going, and it was kind of heartbreaking to see that Dean really wasn't a believer at all. At least Sam was more open to it, and since we were the ones in the relationship, that was a good thing, but for some reason I really felt like Dean really needed to put some faith in things he couldn't explain and I couldn't help but dwell on that.

"How can you be a skeptic with the things we see everyday?" Sam asked him.

"Exactly," Dean answered in a lower voice, "we see them. We know they're real."

Sam nodded slowly. "But if you know Evil's out there, how can you not believe Good's out there too?"

Dean was ready with his answer there. "Because I've seen what Evil does to good people."

"Maybe God works in mysterious ways." A young woman said.

"Exactly." I agreed with her.

Since I was with Sam, the feelings of jealousy as Dean turned to look at the beautiful blonde woman that festered in my stomach were unacceptable. Dean was allowed to look at whomever he wanted and for some reason since Sam and I actually started dating, I'd never really been too jealous—not until I thought I was going to lose Dean. It wasn't healthy to have these feelings for him when I was with his brother, but for some reason right then I really couldn't shake them off and it unnerved me.

"Maybe he does." Dean replied with a small smile. "I think you just turned me around on the subject."

She smiled at him and I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"I'm Dean." He said holding out his hand. "This is Sam, and this is Lana."

"Layla." She answered and then her tone changed a little. "So, if you're not a believer, then why are you here?"

"Apparently, my brother believes enough for the both of us." He replied, which made Sam smile. "And I can't very well tell Lana I won't do this for them."

I was rather happy to hear that mine and Sam's opinions meant so much to him—even if he was still flirting with her—and it made Sam happy too and that was what mattered. As long as Dean was here and willing to receive whatever help we were willing to get him, that meant that he was going to stay with me and Sam that much longer. This had to work…Sam and I had faith in it and if there was one thing neither of us was willing to live without yet, it was definitely Dean.

"C'mon Layla, it's about to start." A woman that looked like her mother told her.

We went into the tent where a notice was displayed: "Welcome all faiths – True believers revival."

"Yeah peace, love and trust all over." Exclaimed Dean, nodding his head in the direction of a surveillance camera.

I rolled my eyes a little and then the three of us looked for seats and it was no surprise that Dean wanted to sit in the back of the room, but Sam and I made him sit closer to the stage. Sam and I were determined to make this work, and so we wanted Dean to be as close to the faith healer as possible, and though he protested, he did in fact sit with us. Then, Reverend Roy Le Grange started his speech and we were all ears, even Dean, who wasn't believing us.

"Each morning, my wife Sue Ann reads me the news; it never seems this good, does it? It seems like there's always someone committing some immoral, unspeakable act, but I say to you: God is watching. And God rewards the good and he punishes the corrupt. It is the Lord who does the healing here, friends, the Lord who guides me in choosing who to heal by helping me see into people's hearts…" He was saying.

"Or into their wallets." Dean said leaning towards Sam, and I sighed.

"You think so, young man?" Roy asked.

Dean looked around and then up at Roy. "Sorry."

"No, no, don't be. Just watch what you say around a blind man, we've got real sharp ears. What's your name, son?" He asked.

"Dean." Dean replied.

"Dean, I want you…I want you to come up here with me." Roy said with a smile on his face and Sam and I couldn't help but smile too.

Our plan looked like it was going to work, and even though Layla's mother seemed very disappointed, everybody applauded. The look on Dean's face was disconcerting, and I was pretty sure he wasn't on board with it but everybody applauded to encourage Dean to climb onto the stage.

"No, it's okay." He answered Roy.

"What are you doing?" Sam and I asked him.

Roy nodded and smiled a little. "You've come here to be healed, haven't you?"

"Oh yeah, but um…maybe you should just pick someone else." Dean answered with a wave of his hand.

"I didn't pick you, Dean, the Lord did." Roy told him.

"Get up there!" Sam insisted and Dean complied to loud applause as I motioned my head to the stage and pointed sternly.

There was a slight smirk on Dean's voice as the commandingness came out in me, and he got up and Sam and I let out a sigh of relief. The slight smirk was gone when Sam and I grasped hands, and then he went on stage and I tried really hard not to get my hopes up, but I had to believe that Dean would be healed by this. He just had to be…I wasn't willing to be without him yet…I still needed Dean Winchester.

"You ready?" Roy asked Dean as Dean stood before him.

Dean laughed a little. "Yeah, look no disrespect but I'm not exactly a believer."

"You will be son, you will be." Roy told him with a smile on his face.

Then Roy invited the faithful to pray with him and he laid his hand on Dean's forehead and suddenly I felt like this was a bad idea and I tensed up. Dean didn't seem too well and he fell down to his knees, and I started towards the stage a little, but Sam held out his hand to stop me as the feeling got worse in the pit of my stomach, and my feelings were almost never wrong. When Dean suddenly collapsed, Sam and I rushed to the stage and tried to get Dean to come around and when he did, he seemed like he was seeing something, but there was nothing in the area that he was looking in…but the feeling still remained and that worried more than anything.

xxxx

After the healing session, we all went to the hospital to make sure that Dean's condition had definitely improved. Sam and I were banking everything on this and Dean was rather annoyed and wanted us to stop doting on him and making such a fuss, but we couldn't help it. Dean even looked better than he had when he was dying, and so we were pretty certain that whatever Roy had done had worked, and we were excited for him and his 'new chance at life'.

"So you really feel okay?" Sam asked Dean.

"I feel fine, Sam." Dean answered him with a sigh.

I ran my fingers through Dean's hair and then squeezed his hand. "You're sure?"

"Yes, Lana." Dean told me, kissing my hand and then letting it go when he caught the look Sam was giving us since he knew our somewhat strange history.

We couldn't very well dwell on it too long though because Dean was started to get sick and tired of our constant babying, and the doctor came into the room. I don't think Dean had ever been so happy to see someone else in his life, and I couldn't help but smile a little at him as he gave her his full attention. It wasn't even a flirting attention either—he just really needed someone other than me and Sam talking to him right then.

The doctor smiled at him. "Well, according to all your tests, there's nothing wrong with your heart. No sign there ever was. Not that a man your age should have heart trouble but, still it's strange it does happen."

"What do you mean 'strange'?" Dean asked her after a moment with a look on his face I had already come to understand.

"Oh, just yesterday a young guy like you, 27, athletic, I don't know, had a heart attack." She answered with a small shrug.

Dean waited until the doctor left to speak again. "That's odd."

"Maybe it's coincidence. People's hearts give up all the time, man." Sam told him.

"No, they don't." Dean answered him and shot him a look.

The look in Dean's eyes was quite unmistakable now, and I really wanted to just get as far away from here as I could, but the feelings in my stomach didn't want to be ignored. Sadly, there was something supernatural here and I was pretty sure that Dean knew that and because he was such a stubborn bastard, he was going to argue with Sam and me until he was blue in the face. I just wanted to take this miracle and run with it, because if the death was connected to Dean's recovery, Dean would never truly forgive himself for it, and I would hate to see him do that to himself.

"Let's not look into this much further in the direction you're going." I said suddenly, wanting to change the subject desperately and take Dean out of the hospital.

"I agree with Lana. Look Dean, do we have to look this one in the mouth? Why can't we be just thankful at the guy who saved your life and move on?" Sam asked him with a sigh.

Dean gave him a look. "Because I can't shake this feeling, that's why."

"What feeling?" Sam and I asked together.

Dean took a breath. "When I was healed, I just…I felt wrong, I felt cold and for a second, I saw someone. This old man, I'm telling you Sam, it was a spirit."

And there we had it—Dean had seen something rather supernatural, I had a feeling something was wrong, and now we were going to sucked into a hunt. It wasn't that I didn't want to help out, I really did, but I just didn't know how I felt about Dean going right into another hunt practically with a brand new heart. Still, this was no time to be selfish because I was a hunter, and hunters always put everything else before themselves…it was just the way.

"But if there was something there, Dean, I think I would have seen him too. Man, I've been seeing an awful lot of things lately." Sam replied with another sigh.

"Oh excuse me, Psychic Wonder, you just need a little faith on this one. Sam, I've been hunting long enough to trust a feeling like this." Dean answered.

"Is that what you were looking at?" I asked Dean and at first he was confused, but he nodded. "Fabulous…I was getting my feelings and so…I think Dean might actually be onto something Sam, as much as I don't want to deal with it either."

Dean nodded slowly. "Why don't you go check out the heart attack guy, Sam and Lana and I can go to visit the reverend."

"It sounds like a fool-proof enough plan to me—someone has to keep an eye on the guy that almost crapped out on us." I replied.

Sam smiled and nodded, and then Dean and I went to Roy's and told him Dean would be fine but that he wanted to make sense of what happened. According to Sue Ann, it was a miracle—which was apparently the case around her husband. When Dean asked him when the miracles started, Roy explained that one day he woke up and he was blind and the doctors figured out he had cancer and gave him one month to live. So he and his wife prayed for a miracle and when he got too weak, he asked Sue Ann to keep praying and he ended up going into a coma and the doctors thought he wouldn't wake up but he did and his cancer was gone, his blindness being the only proof he'd been sick.

"And suddenly you could heal people?" Dean asked him curiously.

"I discovered it afterwards, yeah. God blessed me in many ways." Roy answered.

Sue Ann smiled and took her husband's hand. "And his flock just swelled over night and this is just the beginning."

"Can I ask you one last question?" Dean asked Roy after a pause.

"Of course, you can." Roy told him.

Dean nodded and then found the right words. "Why? Why me? Out of all those sick people, why save me?"

I had a feeling that the question would come sooner or later, and I squeezed Dean's hand and he grasped it back because whether he'd admit it or not, he needed the closeness, and he needed the reassurance. He and I made eye contact as Roy smiled and began to explain what it was that he did and how he did it, and I couldn't help but smile softly at Dean as Dean focused his attention on the man.

"Oh, like I said before, the Lord guides me. I looked into your heart and you just stood out from all the rest." Roy explained to him.

Dean nodded slowly. "What did you see in my heart?"

"A young man with an important purpose, a job to do and it isn't finished." He told Dean with a small nod.

I smiled at the words he spoke. "And he saw right."

"I've been meaning to ask you, miss, what is your name?" Roy asked me.

I hadn't actually thought that Roy knew I was there entirely even though his wife had mentioned I was there, but it was nice that his smile on me was so fond. This man couldn't be connected to anything bad as far as I was concerned, but it was because I truly wanted to have faith in his healing powers. He was the kind of man I would go to listen to, and part of me felt bad that we were here gathering information to use for a hunt…a hunt where we weren't sure what we were hunting.

"This is Lana—she's one of the only things I have true faith in." Dean said, and I blushed…I hadn't been expecting that.

"Well you keep her around—she's the light at the end of the tunnel." Roy told him.

I blushed some more and smiled. "Well thank you very much for that."

Dean smiled at me and we made eye contact and it felt like we were both finally understanding each other, and then we turned to Roy and thanked him for everything. He had given me Dean back and I couldn't be more grateful to him at all. Roy and Sue Ann wished us the very best and then we began to leave the house and in doing so, we ran into Layla. She seemed pleased to see us, and I smiled at her because she was so friendly and kind and I really wished her the best.

"How are you feeling?" Layla asked Dean.

"I feel good. Cured, I guess. What are you doing here?" Dean asked her.

Layla smiled. "You know, my mom, she wanted to talk to the reverend."

"Layla?" Sue Ann asked her from the front door.

"Yes, here again." Layla answered her.

It took me a moment to figure it out, but I was starting to understand something about Layla—not only did she have a lot of faith, but she was waiting for a miracle. The miracle she was searching for was going to come to her from Reverend Roy, and she was so hopeful, and Dean hadn't been. The sadness of his revelation of that only flashed in his eyes for a moment, but I knew it was only because he was trying to have a conversation with her that wasn't too meaningful.

"I'm sorry but Roy is resting, and he won't be seeing anyone else right now." Sue Ann told her plainly.

"Sue Ann, please." Layla's mother begged. "This is our 6th time. He's got to see us."

"Roy is well aware of Layla's situation and he very much wants to help, just as soon as the Lord allows. Have faith, Mrs. Roarke." Sue Ann said before going back inside.

Mrs. Roarke was very disappointed and angry with Dean. "Why are you still even here? You got what you wanted."

"Mom, stop." Layla intervened.

I understood her fury and her sadness because she was a mother and she wanted her daughter to be healed, but I really wished she wouldn't take it out on Dean. It probably seemed rather unfair that Dean had showed up out of nowhere and gotten healed and here they were trying again and again just to get in and see him. I felt for her, but honestly? Honestly I wouldn't have had it any other way because I selfishly needed Dean alive.

"No Layla, this is too much. We've been to every single service. If Roy would stop choosing strangers over you, strangers who don't even believe… I just can't pray any harder." She told her daughter rather dejected.

Dean was feeling guiltier now. "Layla, what's wrong?"

"I have this thing…" She began.

"It's a brain tumor." Her mother explained. "It's inoperable. In 6 months, the doctors say…"

Dean nodded slowly. "I'm sorry."

Layla smiled at him and shrugged a little. "It's okay."

"No, it isn't. Why do you deserve to live more than my daughter?" She asked, and then left, Layla following her.

I took Dean's hand and leaned into him, running my hand up and down his arm to reassure him that he wasn't alone in this and it wasn't his fault. He knew what I was trying to tell him with my body language and he didn't believe me, but he didn't verbally say it at all. He simply squeezed my hand and we walked back to the motel, Dean and I getting into our room to see Sam looking upset, and I suddenly didn't want to know what it was that he had found.

Sam took a breath. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what?" Dean asked.

"Marshall Hall died at 4:17." He answered.

I swallowed as I looked over Sam's research. "That's when Dean was healed."

In fact, each time someone had been 'miraculously' healed, someone died at the same time of the same symptoms the person saved by a miracle used to suffer from. It seemed Le Grange was trading a life for another, and Sam had now given the three of us proof of that. Dean began to feel that Marshall Hall died so that he could be saved, and Sam tried to comfort him by saying that Marshall would have died anyway even if someone else got healed, but Dean still felt guilty, so it didn't make any difference in the long run.

"The thing I don't understand," Sam mused, "is how is Roy doing it, how is he trading a life for a life?"

"Oh, he's not doing it. Something else is doing it for him." Dean replied.

Sam looked at him funny. "What do you mean?"

"The old man I saw on stage. I didn't want to believe it but deep down I knew it." Dean said as he thought out loud.

"You knew what? What are you talking about?" Sam asked.

"There's only one thing that can give and take life like that. We're dealing with a Reaper." I answered. "Every culture has one under different names."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "But you said you saw a dude in a suit."

"Oh, what do you think? That he should be working in that old black robe thing? You said it yourself that the clock stopped, right?" Dean asked, showing Sam a picture of a Reaper holding an hourglass that I had found. "Reapers stop time. And you can only see him when he's coming at you, which is why I could see him and you couldn't."

"Maybe." Sam said thoughtfully.

I took a deep breath and sat down on the end of Sam's and my bed and I put my head in my hands because it was all so much more real. Dean had actually almost died, and now we had to stop the man who had saved Dean's life because he was taking the lives of innocent people—he was playing God. Everything about this whole experience was completely bittersweet and I kept feeling conflicted even though I knew that made me the worst kind of person that there was. On the one hand I wanted very badly to leave Roy alone because he had given me Dean back healthy and safe, but on the other hand I had to save the innocents because Roy was going about saving people in the wrong way—he wasn't God.

"There's nothing else it could be Sam. The question is: how is Roy controlling the damn thing?" Dean asked heatedly.

"That cross." Sam told him as he thought about it.

Dean looked at him funny. "What?"

"There is this cross." Sam said searching in a tarot deck. "I know it's in the church, still I know I've seen it before. Here."

"A tarot?" Dean asked as he looked at the card that Sam was showing him.

I nodded slowly and finally looked back at them. "It makes sense."

Sam then explained that tarot dated back to a time of Christianity when some priests were still using black magic, necromancy to push death away or to cause it. Dean took the information in as I tried to figure out what it was that I wanted to ask Sam, and I realized that I knew what he was getting at. There were really only a couple explanations for how Roy was doing what he was doing, and we had to narrow it down to the right one.

"Is Roy using black magic to bind the Reaper?" I asked Sam.

"If he is, he's riding the whirlwind; it's like putting a dog leash on a great white." Sam replied as I nodded in agreement.

Dean nodded slowly. "Okay, then we stop Roy."

"How?" Sam asked.

"You know how." Dean replied almost immediately.

Sam made a face at him. "Hey, what the hell are you talking about? Dean, we can't kill Roy and you know it."

"Sam, the guy's playing God. He's deciding who lives and who dies, that's a monster in my book." Dean told him.

I shot Dean a look and hit the coffee table with my hand. "No, we're not gonna kill a human being Dean. We do that and we're no better than he is."

Dean could tell how upset I was growing and he nodded slowly. "Okay, so we can't kill Roy, we can't kill Death. Any ideas?"

"Okay…if Roy is using some kind of black spell on the Reaper, we've gotta figure out what it is, and how to break it." Sam said, and I nodded because it was far better than killing the old man.

We ended up going to the church—if Roy used a spell, there might be a spell book somewhere. Dean sent Sam and me searching for it while he tried to stop Roy. As for the protester, he was still there distributing tracts. I admired his determination, and since we were pretty sure that Roy was one big fraud his healing didn't actually make up for his taking of life, I was rather on the guy's side at that moment and so were Sam and Dean.

"Roy Le Grange is a fraud, he's no healer." The protester said.

"Amen, brother." Dean retorted.

Sam nodded and added, "You keep up the good work."

"If you try hard enough, I'm sure you'll get through to them." I assured him because I knew when we were done, Roy wouldn't be 'healing' anyone else.

The protestor smiled at us. "Thank you."

Sam and I waited for Roy and Sue Ann to leave their house and then we got in through a window and headed for their library. We didn't really want Dean coming in for fear that he'd lose it and do something we'd all regret later, and so it was up to Sam and I to do the sleuthing at that particular moment. There, Sam noticed on one of the shelf units a place where there was no dust and he deduced from that, that the book placed there was moved recently which was our safest bet…even though it looked unpromising book-wise.

"There's nothing interesting about that book though." I said dismally.

"But look at this." Sam told me.

Behind it, was hidden another book in which Sam found an article about Marshall Hall who was a homosexual teacher, and an article about the young woman who died just after him who was a militant for abortion rights. He also discovered an article about David Wright, the protester who distributed tracts and suddenly it all made sense to me and I realized why I had felt the feelings before—this was wrong and I had to help stop what was going on before it happened again.

"Oh my God—he's going after the people he finds immoral." I said out loud. "He really is playing God, and he's taking it much too far."

Sam nodded and phoned Dean and told him that Roy chose his victims among the people he saw as immoral and how we thought David was going to be the next one. He asked Dean to prevent Roy from healing someone else while he and I tried to find David, whom Sam and I managed to find thanks to his screams, but we couldn't see the Reaper. Dean called us to tell us he had stopped Roy, but it made no difference—he proceeded to tell us that it was in fact Sue Ann that was behind it, and we really believed that Roy had no idea, and thought he was doing it all for the greater good. When we met up again, Sam showed Dean the book we found in the library and we were all pretty sure exactly how to handle this case.

"There's a spell to bind a Reaper in it. All we have to do is find a black altar with human bones and blood." I explained to them.

Sam puffed out a breath of air. "To cross the line like that, a preacher's wife, black magic, murder, evil."

"Desperate." Dean answered. "Her husband was dying and she's done anything to save him. She was using the binding spell to keep the Reaper away from Roy."

"Cheating death literally." Sam said with a nod.

Dean looked at him. "Yeah but Roy is alive so why is she still using the spell?"

"Because she let the power go to her head and she's using the reaper to kill anyone she thinks is immoral." I replied.

Dean shook his head and I knew he hated her, but that he was going to—for Sam and I—simply follow our laid out instructions. This was going to be a little hard to do but if we got it done quickly, everything would be just fine and we could continue on with our lives…a life that Dean now had back. Thankfully Roy wasn't aware of what was going on, and so I felt much better about him saving Dean…even though I knew Dean would never let it go because someone else had to die for him to be saved…because Dean Winchester honestly had a heart.

"Hey, Sue Ann had a cross around her neck." Dean said suddenly.

I smiled at his helpfulness. "All right, so we destroy both the altar and the cross just to be on the safe side."

When we arrived at Roy's, Layla's car was already there and Dean felt guilty again. It was coming in waves from him and I understood it, but I really wanted him to have his wits about him, even though I felt bad for Layla too. What had happened was really upsetting, and I wished that Layla could be healed too, but we weren't like Roy—we couldn't choose who lived and who died just because we cared the way that we did because sometimes life was unfair…and it was me realizing that that made me truly hate myself for my selfishness about Dean being saved before.

"You know, if Roy had picked up Layla instead of me, she'd be healed right now." Dean said suddenly.

"Dean, don't." Sam and I told him.

Dean couldn't stop though. "And if she's not healed tonight, she's gonna die in a couple of months."

"What's happening to her is horrible, but what are you gonna do? Let somebody else die to save her? You said it yourself Dean, you can't play God." Sam told him earnestly.

Dean just closed his mouth and we looked around inside the tent, Roy and the faithful gathered about, but Sue Ann wasn't there. She was the one that we really needed to find so that we could get the cross from around her neck and so Dean sent Sam and me searching for her in the house while he created a diversion to move the policemen away from the house. It was going to be harder than we thought, but we could do it—I had faith in our teamwork and Sam and I found the entrance to the basement and I followed him down there. We found the altar, on which a picture of Dean had been placed, which meant that tonight Dean's life would be traded for Layla's—I could not let that happen.

"I gave your brother life and I can take it away." Sue Ann told us and Sam knocked over the altar, but Sue Ann had time to escape and she locked us in the basement. "Sam, can't you see, the Lord chose me to reward the just and punish the wicked and your brother is wicked and he deserves to die just as Layla deserves to live. It's God's will. Goodbye, Sam. Goodbye, Lana."

"God would never ask you to kill innocent people!" I cried up at her through the locked doors. "That's not your job!"

Sam couldn't manage to open the doors, so we had to find another way to escape. I realized that if there was any time good enough to show some of my hidden talents, then there would never be a good enough time. Then again, I was much more willing to chant a spell silently while Sam hit the doors hard, and then when they in fact gave way, Sam just assumed that he'd done it. It wasn't the time yet to come clean about that and we hurried to Sue Ann, and Sam broke her cross, which stopped the Reaper. Unfortunately without her control over it, the Reaper smiled at Sue Ann and Sam and I couldn't stop it from taking her life.

It was kind of a horrible thing to see, but that was what she got for playing with something as dangerous as dark magic, and Sam and I had to make sure that Dean was all right. He seemed all right considering the Hell he had just been through, and I hugged him tightly and he hugged me back as Sam reached out and rested his hand on his shoulder. Then we went back to the motel to get some sleep, Dean restless and me not able to sleep knowing he was upset even though Sam's arms were locked tightly around me in a fond embrace, and in the morning we began to pack and Sam and I were worried about the expression on Dean's face.

"What is it?" Sam asked him.

"Nothing." Dean replied almost immediately.

I nodded a little and then repeated, "What is it?"

"We did the right thing here, didn't we?" Dean asked Sam and me after a pause.

Sam nodded at him. "Of course, we did."

"It doesn't feel like it." Dean replied.

"It really doesn't, does it?" I asked him as I took a breath and he shook his head.

Someone knocked on the motel door, and then Sam let Layla in—he had called her pretending Dean wanted to tell her goodbye, and Sam and I started to leave the room. I smiled at her as she came out of the room, and I hugged her because I honestly wanted the best for her, and I was very sorry that things hadn't worked out any better for her. Life sometimes handed us things that we had to tough through, and he had a plan for everyone.

"Thank you." She told me. "I've learned something today about God."

"He works in mysterious ways." I told her with a smile. "Just let the faith, guide you. As long as you have faith, the world feels like a better place. I'll keep you in my prayers."

She smiled, and then Sam and I headed out of the room and left Layla to talk to Dean on her own. We lugged our duffles out to the Impala and tossed them into the backseat and then I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned up to kiss him softly, glad he had leaned down halfway. I slid my fingers into his hair and I smiled when he rested his forehead against mine, my eyes closed as I tried to find the words for him.

"I didn't know you believed." He told me.

I nodded and smiled. "I have great faith, Sam."

"I'm beginning to understand that." Sam replied and he stroked my hair. "You are quite smitten with Dean…did you know that?"

"What? I don't see what you're getting at here, Sammy." I told him with a stunned look on my face.

Sam nodded slowly. "I meant it as not what it sounds like…I meant that you are incredibly attached to him—you care for him very deeply."

I could tell by the sound in his voice that he was pleased that I cared about Dean so much, but that he was a little nervous at the same time. It was rather unconventional that I had slept with Dean before dating Sam, and I knew he was a little jealous seeing as how he was my boyfriend and Dean and I were very close, but I really didn't think that he had anything to worry about. As drawn as I was to Dean, and as connected as I felt to him, I was in a relationship with Sam, and I wasn't just going to up and chuck him to the side of the road for his brother.

"I care for you both very deeply." I admitted with a nod.

Sam smiled at me. "I'm going to go pack up the car—check on him please?"

I nodded and with a quick kiss I headed back into the motel room, passing Layla leaving in the hallway. Dean looked up from packing and smiled at me, me trying to keep my body still and resist the urge to hug him but I lost out on the battle. The last two incredibly nail-biting hunts were now over and I could breathe, and Dean wasn't going to die and leave me. I flung my arms around his neck and buried my face in him, him wrapping his arms back around me and running his fingers through my hair.

"I have no idea what I would have done if I had lost you." I whispered to him, trying not to cry. "You have no idea how much you mean to me."

Dean nodded against me. "It's actually nice to know how much you care, Lanni."

I pulled away and smiled at him, my eyes glossed over with tears. "Promise me that next time you won't carelessly get yourself electrocuted, all right?"

Dean rolled his eyes but he chuckled a little. "I promise. Now will you go and ignore the giant please? He's been less cranky on this road trip when his girlfriend was the one nagging him instead of his brother."

"Will do, Dean…so you'll be out soon?" I asked him.

Dean kissed my forehead and then looked me in the eye. "I promise I'm all right, Lana, you don't need to worry about me."

"But I do." I admitted, and he really had no idea just how much I had to.

Note: I hope you enjoyed the little over 21 page chapter! More very soon!