Didn't you feel so bad for Hiccup last chapter? Me, too. Actually, when I saw that in the movie, I didn't know what had happened until the dog started licking. I thought that maybe Kirk was just REALLY happy. Well, let's see if Hiccup manages to fix things. Enjoy the chapter and be sure to read my author's note at the bottom when you're done.


Hiccup didn't tell anybody about the embarrassing incident at Astrid's house. Except for Toothless, but Toothless wouldn't tell anybody. He told his Dad, too, but that had been because he had heard from Astrid's father about him running out for his work at the shop. Stoick hadn't believed the lie his son had told so Hiccup, bright red the whole time, had to tell his Dad the truth. Stoick had to hold back his laughter, but he told nobody out of sympathy for the lad.

Hiccup had even divulged his secret to Fishlegs, also sworn to secrecy. The only reason he had told him was because Hiccup was in the middle of writing his third apology letter to Astrid.

Five days later and no reply from Astrid, Hiccup found himself making his way through the snow with Toothless. Gobber had forbidden him to walk through the snow in his metal prosthetic since it would freeze up anyway without the snow's help. Hiccup and Toothless were going to help Fishlegs, Tuffnut, and Snotlout haul firewood back to their homes. They were waiting at the edge of the woods for Hiccup and their conversation floated over to him as he approached.

"Fishlegs, I'll pay you just to curse once," Tuffnut offered. "Just say fuck."

"I'll write it down," Fishlegs offered.

"That doesn't count!" Tuffnut laughed.

"You'll what?" Snotlout asked, also laughing. Fishlegs repeated his offer.

"That doesn't count!" Tuffnut repeated, doubling over. "Just say it out loud! Just say shit and I'll chop wood for you for a week."

Snotlout was the first one to notice Hiccup approaching on Toothless' back. "Hey, Hiccup!" he called. Tuffnut turned around shouldering his axe. He kept a straight face on.

"Hey. Hiccup," he began casually, "Um…I actually wasn't supposed to come out and help for another half hour but I was so excited…so, uh, I came early." Hiccup didn't find anything strange about the comment.

Snotlout shrugged. "Yeah, it was really weird he said he was really excited…and he came early." Why were they still on this subject?

"Does that ever happen to you?" Tuffnut asked curiously. Hiccup understood what was going on before Tuffnut continued. "You're so excited about something…" Fishlegs was looking guilty "that you come early."

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Gods, Fishlegs, have you ever kept a secret before in your life?" The other boys laughed, even Fishlegs.

"I didn't-I didn't mean to tell them, Hiccup, I'm sorry," he gasped.

Snotlout nodded in agreement. "Dude, come on, he didn't mean it. It just…slipped out." A new wave of laughter came over everyone but Hiccup.

"Thank you. Thank you very much and…go fuck yourselves," Hiccup told his friends. Toothless just rolled his eyes in annoyance at the teenagers. His ears perked up at the sound of snow crunching, but the boys didn't notice until she was right there that Maija had joined their group.

"Hey guys," she greeted.

"Oh, shit!" Tuffnut swore. Maija glared at him. "Reflex," he explained.

Maija flipped her hair. "Hiccup, can I talk to you?" Well, this was new. Hiccup nodded. Maija hesitated. "In private?"

"No secrets, here, Maija," Hiccup said. Toothless, sensing this would take a while, sat down.

"Okay," Maija agreed, stepping closer. "Well…I…think I made a little mistake…and I see a change in you and I really like it so, let's get together! Just to try it out, you know." Hiccup couldn't believe what he was hearing. Yes, he had been pathetic enough to ask Maija out a few times at one point in his life, but so had his friends. Their logic was simple: Maija was easy and she'd go out with anyone. She had turned them all down. Hiccup suspected there was another reason for her being here, not a change of heart. He looked to his friends. Tuffnut was shaking his head.

Hiccup turned back to Maija, who was waiting for his answer. "Uh, that's really interesting, Maija." Hiccup shook his head. "No, I don't think so." This was probably the first time Maija had been turned down. She was indignant.

"But you broke up with Astrid!" she protested. Where did she get that idea? Hiccup instinctively looked back at Fishlegs, who was looking guilty again.

"She cornered me," he confessed in a small voice.

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Look, Maija, I moved on. And you're only here because another girl has shown interest in me.

"That's not it!" Maija insisted, not sounding convincing. "Look, Hiccup, I'm really worried about you with her!" She leaned in closer. "She seems like kind of a bitch!" Hiccup's jaw dropped in disbelief at what she saying. And she was still talking.

"I'm just saying," she continued, "that if you want to get together like you begged me before…I am even willing to consider…breaking up…with Melker."

Tuffnut snorted. "The pirate?"

"You're still with him?" Snotlout shook his head in disbelief.

Maija was looking at them like they were morons. "Yeah! I'm not going to risk being all alone because Hiccup doesn't know what's good for him! We can get together; just don't ever show me your stump until I master my gag reflex."

"My what?" Hiccup questioned.

"Your stump. That thing that used to be a leg. I don't want to look at something that gross until I know I won't barf looking at it."

"It looks just fine!" Hiccup snapped. Toothless could sense his rider was getting annoyed and turned his head to growl at Maija. She sensibly backed up a few paces.

"Look, Hiccup, deep down…you know it is never going to work out with you and Astrid and I just can't stand to see you get hurt. So if that makes me the bad guy," she stopped to glare at Tuffnut, who was making a gagging motion, "so be it!" Maija stormed off back to the village.

"Odin's beard!" Hiccup groaned, shaking his head.

"Hey," Tuffnut said, placing a hand on Hiccup's shoulder, "did you just come in your pants again?" Snotlout and Fishlegs burst out laughing. "We're your friends. You can tell us. Did you?"

Hiccup ignored him and him and Toothless started forward into the woods. "Fishlegs, why would you tell her that I broke up with Astrid?"

"I thought you did!" Fishlegs said innocently.

"No," Hiccup corrected. "We're just in a rough patch! Here, this tree looks good," he said, pointing to a young tree. Not too big, not too small.

"How many messages have you sent to her?" Tuffnut asked, taking a swing at the tree trunk.

Hiccup paused, thinking about it. "Five," he said. Tuffnut didn't believe it.

"And how many messages have you really sent to her?"

Hiccup looked down. "Seventeen. I sent that one out ten minutes ago."

Tuffnut sighed. "It's done man." Thwack. "Towel of Love." All the boys looked at him questioningly. "That's what," thwack "I call it. The Towel of Love. You being," thwack "with Astrid defies like…forces of nature." Thwack! Tuffnut took a moment to rest. "Face it: it's over, man."

Hiccup shook his head and dismounted Toothless, ignoring Gobber's rule. "No, it's not over! And frankly…I'm a little sick of you guys pretending like you know where I'm coming from! None of you know what I'm going through right now."

Tuffnut sighed, looking dejected and sat down on a nearby stump. "Svana Halvorsdóttir does."

"Who's Svana?" Hiccup asked, confused. Fishlegs and Snotlout looked just as lost as he was.

"She was my Astrid," Tuffnut explained.

"How come you never told us about her?" Snotlout asked.

"I didn't want to jinx it. She was perfect. Perfect," he added with a dreamy look on his face. "Freckled shoulders." He shook his head, snapping back to the present. "Anyway, two months into it, bam, she dumps me. I should've seen it coming. She was a ten a hard ten and I was a six, possibly a seven. Either way, I couldn't cover the spread. I was depressed for months."

"That's what that was?" Hiccup asked. "I thought you were just ill."

"Yeah," Tuffnut agreed, "I had an illness of the heart."

"By Freya, how's your vagina?" Snotlout asked.

"Shut up, Snot!" Tuffnut snapped. He went back to chopping down the tree. Snotlout made his way over to his cousin.

"Forget Tuff," he ordered. "I think you can get Astrid back." Tuffnut snorted.

"Then why don't you look Hiccup in the eyes and tell him you really believe he's going to end up with Astrid."

"Fine, I will. Hiccup, I truly believe that…" Snotlout paused, not able to go on. Hiccup nodded, encouraging him. "I think anything's possible."

"Anything is possible?" Hiccup repeated. Nobody believed in his and Astrid's relationship.

"Hey, Hiccup, look!" Fishlegs cried, pointing up. A Terrible Terror dived toward them, landing on Hiccup's shoulder. It held out a scroll tied to its leg for him. Hiccup hurriedly untied and unrolled the note. It wasn't from Astrid.

She hasn't read any of your messages. I've been putting them into the fire for her. If you send another message to Astrid, I'll break both your arms.

Ruffnut

Getting Astrid back would be harder than Hiccup initially thought.


Hiccup had been avoiding the Great Hall ever since he had fled from Astrid's house the other night. Now he poked his head through the door and immediately spotted her sitting at a table with Ruffnut. He ducked outside again.

"She's in there," he confirmed to his friends. Hiccup stood there, too nervous to go in. Snotlout decided he'd be the one to give his cousin a pep talk.

"Listen to me, Hiccup," Snotlout said. "You just have to go in there, loud and proud, and say 'Hey…I jizzed in my shorts!'" Hiccup shook his head and took a step away from the Hall. "'It's what I do. It's how I roll. Deal with it.'"

Fishlegs cleared his throat. "I know I don't know a lot about girls, but that can't be good advice."

Hiccup agreed with Fishlegs. "Yeah, I'm not gonna do that."

Snotlout snorted. "Dude, you have nothing to be embarrassed of! If anything, you paid her a compliment. Right?" In a way, Snotlout's logic made sense. But there was no way Hiccup was about to go up to Astrid and tell her what had really happened.

"We'll be right there with you, Hiccup," Tuffnut encouraged, leading Hiccup to the doors. "But we respect your privacy and we'll keep our distance."

"You're just afraid of Astrid!"

"That, too."

They all stumbled into the Hall. Hiccup gulped. "Alright. Here goes nothing." He went over to the table Astrid and Ruffnut were sitting at. His friends went in the opposite direction. Ruffnut spotted Hiccup first.

"Shit! Astrid, six o' clock," Ruffnut warned, jerking her head in that direction. Astrid turned around in her seat to see Hiccup approach. She turned back around, refusing to look at him.

"Hey, Astrid," he said nervously. Astrid traced her index finger around her goblet. "I got Ruffnut's message, which I assume you asked her to write." Ruffnut glared at him. Hiccup stared at his boots. Astrid snapped and whirled around to face Hiccup, getting off the bench so they were eye to eye.

"What the Hel happened the other night, Hiccup?" Astrid demanded. Hiccup barely got in an "Um" before Astrid started again. "You acted like a freak with Captain Pickles and when you shook my father's hand you acted like it was diseased when we had a whole conversation about how he was old-fashioned!"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry," Hiccup insisted. He was feeling much worse than when he had first entered the Hall.

"I spent an entire day with your family and you can't even spend thirty seconds with mine! That's a pretty big red flag!" Astrid turned her back on him and sat back down on the bench.

"It is not a red flag, Astrid!" Hiccup insisted. Astrid turned her head over her shoulder to glare at him.

"I'm not doing this now!" she hissed.

Hiccup's shoulders slumped. "Right. Sorry," he mumbled. He turned and took a few steps away from the table. Snotlout's advice echoed in his head. Hiccup stopped, took a deep breath, straightened his posture and walked back over to the girls. He swallowed his pride and tapped Astrid on the shoulder.

Astrid whirled around in her seat, finger raised, mouth open, intending to tell him off.

"I ejaculated in my pants," Hiccup confessed quickly. Astrid's angry expression melted into one of shock and she slowly dropped her hand. Ruffnut's jaw dropped. Hiccup took advantage of their silence and continued.

"We were getting kind…hot and…and nasty...and it's not every day that I have some…wicked hot girl grinding on top of me…and uh…I-I got a little too excited and before I know it…your parents are in the room and I'm sitting there with just this big…freakin'…oyster in my shorts." It wasn't working. Ruffnut was shaking with silent laughter, a hand clapped firmly over her mouth. Astrid wasn't doing much better.

"Sorry," Hiccup apologized. "Sorry." He hobbled over to his friends, feeling like everyone had their eyes on him. All he wanted to do now was to curl up in bed and never come out. It was a much better option than looking Astrid in the eye again.

"Thanks for the advice," Hiccup said sarcastically, "that went horribly. Enjoy dinner, guys. I'm just going to…" Hiccup made the motion of stabbing himself in the gut before walking out the doors and in to the snow where Toothless was waiting.

At Astrid's table, the two finally recovered from their fit of laughter enough to talk.

"I mean, I'll say this for him: he's honest!" Ruffnut said.

"What do you mean?" Astrid asked curiously.

Ruffnut rolled her eyes. "No guy, in his right mind would ever lie about that!" She looked around and saw a rather depressed-looking Hiccup leave the Hall. "You should probably go talk to him." Astrid nodded in agreement and ran for the doors. Snotlout was feeling smug at his table.

"Told you!" he bragged.


Hiccup sighed and scratched Toothless behind the ears. "Well buddy, I had a girlfriend, but of course I managed to screw that up." He sighed again. "Let's just go home," he muttered miserably. Hiccup made to swing on to Toothless' saddle.

"Hiccup!" a voice called from behind him. Astrid was jogging her way to them. Hiccup braced himself for a punch, so he was very surprised when Astrid hugged him instead. He hugged her back, liking the feeling.

"If you had said something I would've stopped," Astrid mentioned casually. Hiccup felt his face grow hot, even in the cold.

"I couldn't exactly form a sentence at the time," Hiccup pointed out. Astrid laughed and Hiccup found he was able to laugh, too. To make him feel better Astrid kissed him right on the mouth. They were both smiling when they broke apart.

"Come on," Astrid said, taking Hiccup's hand. "Let's go eat. You too, Toothless!" They walked back into the Hall, hand in hand, and the truth of what happened at Astrid's was never spoken between them again.


I like Svana's name...even if I have a hard time pronouncing her full name. By the way, I looked up what Viking undergarments were like for you guys! Just to see if I could refer to the underwear as "shorts." Viking underwear was much like modern day boxer shorts, minus the fly. If that information is actually wrong...I don't care.

Most of you who have seen the She's Out of My League movie know that next there's a montage of dates for the characters of Kirk and Molly. I want to do the same for Astrid and Hiccup but I'm drawing a blank. What do you want to see the couple do? Sneak around in the shop again? Practice fighting? Lounge about each other's houses? Go bobsledding? Throw out some ideas and I'll write them out.