A/N: Once again, I apologize for the delay but it couldn't be avoided. My semester is kicking into high gear and, between school work and my job, I'm barely allowed time to breathe. Graduate school really is as demanding as they warn you it will be.
Therefore, this has led me to make a few decisions concerning this fic:
1) I'd initially wanted to extend this story and give it some more development. Nonetheless, if I want to keep my sanity and juggle all the things I have to do, this isn't an option anymore.
2) Because of this I shall be forced to start wrapping things up. Hence, you can expect just two more chapters for this fic.
3) I hate rushing things and leaving stuff out but I'm being forced to do so. Nonetheless, I wanted to make this story a whole lot simpler than my other multi-chapter fics because of time constraints. I just hope I can pull it off nicely and none of you complain.
I wanted to have a different take on Sakura when it came to this fic, as you'll notice in this chapter. Making mistakes is something everyone does at some point or another.
But enough blabbering, I shall leave you to your reading.
CHAPTER VII – CONSTRICTING UNCERTAINTIES
***
Gaara admitted it was a strange feeling. Having a woman sleeping in his arms, her visage peaceful and calm, was bizarre. Her sleep wasn't interrupted by nightmares and it wasn't restless. Her face wasn't contorted in an expression of fear; it was completely the opposite. She rested as if boneless against him, not fearing any kind of attack or violent reaction while sleeping in the arms of the most volatile fighter in the village.
His inner beast purred in satisfaction at this and gloated silently.
They had spent the past days tumbling in his futon as much as they were allowed. As if sensing what was going on between them, the get-well visits from his squad had lessened but hadn't stopped altogether. Sakura would have never permitted that. Gaara had hinted on telling the members of his platoon about their situation so they would be left alone and she had lashed out immediately. Why she didn't want anyone to know about their very pleasant interactions was beyond him but he didn't complain. As long as she continued to share his home and his bed, he'd put up with her antics and humour her.
After all, their blissful time together would be ending very soon. He had received reports that the fighting had intensified lately. The enemy was being driven back into their own territory but was turning to even more ruthless attacks to try and regain ground. Gaara had spent too long out of the battlefield; he needed to step in and make sure this petty conflict ended as fast as possible. The luxury of spending days in the arms of his newfound lover wasn't an option.
People were dying while he was here, relishing in the warmth of Sakura's naked body. Even though it was a thoroughly pleasurable experience and he didn't want it to end, he knew where his duty lay.
For the first time in his life, the sand beast inside of him was torn in two. It had to choose between going out into the battlefield and let its violent instincts loose on the enemy who was threatening his people or remain here, savouring the unexpected acceptance of its nature that came from Sakura. It was the first time in his life he was on the receiving end of such sentiments. His soldiers and comrades accepted him and respected him greatly; he would say they even cared for him in their own way. But none of them actually went to bed with him at night, did they? None of them dealt with the redheaded fiend in an intimate way and would most likely make a run for it if they ever had to.
Sakura, unknowingly, had offered him something he had never ever received before. She had crossed the threshold of barriers without knowing and had accepted what she had found there. After witnessing his temper every day, after suffering close contact with him regularly and more especially, after witnessing the atrocities he could commit in the battlefield first hand and up close, she had still opened her arms to him. Even while being aware of his violent personality, she had lowered her own barriers and had shared her body with him in such intimate ways it took his breath away.
For all she knew, he could have snapped her neck or could have seriously injured her during their heated exchanges. It was the danger of having a sexual encounter with an untamed beast that brought women to his door. The thrill of placing their body at the mercy the most unpredictable and violent man of the region made them seek him out. Gaara didn't disappoint. Sex was an excellent way to release his aggressive instincts when there wasn't anyone around that he could fight and kill. He gave them what they wanted and left them as soon it was done. When it happened at his hut, they didn't linger either. As if coming to their senses after having their sexual urges satisfied, they remembered who he was and the real threat he posed to their lives. They were out the door before they were able to dress properly.
None of these shallow and meaningless women was aware of the other facet of his inner beast. The part of him that wanted to posses and protect was invisible to the members of the female sex. They were all oblivious to is existence. Not a single one of them realized that all it needed was to be shown some tolerance and acceptance for it to surface.
Sakura, with her forbearance and determined attitude, had done exactly this. Sure, she hadn't done it consciously and had no idea of what it was she was getting into. Nonetheless, she had tamed the beast with a firm yet caring hand. She might insult and scream at him at the top of her lungs but when it came down to it, she had treated his injuries with care and devotion. Sakura had won the interest and the fondness of his inner beast. And once his inner beast got interested, there was no turning back.
Gaara pulled her closer to his side as he considered this, burying his nose in her roseate hair.
Never had his aggressive nature faced the need to place violence on hold. Going out to engage enemies in battle and fight to the death had always been his first priority. But here he was, contemplating what it might be like if he left the killing field and focused his energies exclusively on this unique woman. He was contemplating leaving his life as a warrior and settling for something different. Different could be good; when coupled with the image of Sakura sleeping in his futon every day, different was perfect.
But he didn't have that choice; at least, not now.
There was a neighbouring clan to be brought down and his village needed him. The option of remaining behind simply wasn't thinkable. Of course, this didn't mean he had to like it.
Sighing with annoyance, he put himself to the task of stirring Sakura from her sleep.
The feel of his lips brushing across her cheek before biting down on a corner of her mouth was enough for Sakura to rise from slumber. She moaned softly in complaint and tried to roll over. He didn't let her though, trapped as she was within the embrace of his left arm and the side of his torso. Gaara tightened his hold and caressed her lower back with his fingers.
"It's still early," Sakura complained, her voice groggy with sleep.
"I know," the redhead replied calmly. "But I need you to do something for me."
It was so typical of him, waking her up because of his morning rutting tendencies. Emerald eyes opened enough to glare at him. "This early in the morning, you'll be the one doing all the work."
He laughed at that. "I wasn't implying that but trust me, I wouldn't mind doing all the work myself. Now that you mention it, maybe I should."
Rolling them over within the covers, he landed on top of her. He nibbled on the side of her neck while his hips grinded against her.
"Gaara!" Sakura exclaimed breathlessly.
His inner beast purred at the sound of his name tumbling from her lips in such a way.
Sakura was still not completely awake but her mind had registered his words even though he was doing his best to make her forget them. "If you didn't mean this, what did you mean then?"
The redhead stopped his sensual ministrations and turned jade eyes towards her. "I need you to remove my stitches," he told her seriously.
Her eyes widened and she was suddenly very awake. "They're not supposed to come off yet."
"I know," he replied. "But I need to get back out there."
She stated at him silently, taking in the weight of what he was saying.
Gaara knew she might be stubborn about this but he was relentless. He had already wasted enough time with his recovery. Even though it had been a rather pleasurable convalescence, he was needed by his village. He had to make Sakura understand that.
"Removing them now won't make any difference," he said. "I've already healed enough and the wound will not reopen."
"I'll be the judge of that," Sakura replied testily.
He grinned at her temper. "I'm telling the truth. With all the physical activity we've been engaging in, you should know that already."
The fact that she could still blush over what they had been doing, especially in the position they were in at the moment, increased his amusement. But he needed to get his point across. "I need you to remove my stitches so I can train all day today and go back to the front line tomorrow."
"Train? Today?" she exclaimed.
"Yes, today. I can't afford- the village can't afford for me to stay away any longer," he replied firmly.
She was still looking mutinous.
"Sakura, I could be preventing deaths out there."
The truth behind his words registered and she finally sighed in acquiescence. He was absolutely right. As much as she hated the fact that he would be going out there to place himself in the line of fire and risk being hurt again, what he said was true. A warrior of his calibre could not be kept locked up; for the sake of the clan's inhabitants, those who were too weak to defend themselves, Gaara needed to face their enemy.
"Alright," she said, "I'll take them off."
A wicked grin met her words. "I know you want to keep me here as your sex toy but don't worry, we'll have plenty of time for that after this stupid conflict is over."
She opened her mouth to belie his statement but as soon as she drew in a breath, he was kissing her soundly. With that, any complaints she might have were thrown out the window and she lifted her arms around his back to pull him closer.
But as bliss filtered through her at his caresses and encouraging moans, her mind simply couldn't let go of the words he had said to her.
He thought they would have plenty of time? He had to be delusional.
As soon as the conflict was over, she was planning to leave.
XXXXXXXXXX
Ino just laughed at her.
"Well, you can't say you didn't see it coming," she told Sakura in an amused tone.
They were sitting outside the healer's hut again, overlooking the training grounds. Gaara was currently engaged in a spar with another of the village's warriors. Taking off his stitches hadn't taken long and as soon as he was able, he'd forced her to get ready and walked out of the hut. He'd left her at the healer's, where Ino had arrived some time later.
Sakura proceeded to confide about her now intimate relationship with her host. Her friend was more amused by her reaction than by what she was telling her.
"You have to admit it was bound to happen at some point. You can't share the same small living space with such a specimen of a man before succumbing to the temptation. I mean, take Tenten. She gave in a long time before you did."
"True," the pink haired girl admitted ruefully. The weapon master's relationship with Captain Neji had blossomed into something else a while ago. It wasn't exactly common knowledge round the village but people weren't surprised anymore when seeing them together. Tenten had enthusiastically volunteered to help with the fighting and was an active member of Neji's platoon. They had won each other's respect out in the field and had gravitated towards each other like a couple of magnets. Sakura wished her friend happy and suspected she would be coming back to the clan's territory once their mission to the Forest Kingdom was completed.
But her situation wasn't the same as Tenten's. Captain Neji was an understanding and thoughtful man. You could talk to him and he would listen to your argument before forming an opinion. He wasn't volatile or moody and he did not insult Tenten just to see what made her tick. Neji was not a caveman who wanted to lock up her friend in his hut and never let her out again. He was a perceptive and dedicated man. Having a relationship with him would be any girl's dream.
This was definitely not Sakura's case. From what Gaara had told her and the way he'd behaved during the past few days, it was easy to think he planned on keeping Sakura in his house for the rest of her life. This prospect filled her with such intense dread and discontent she felt an urgent need to run away. Problem was, she couldn't go anywhere.
She has spent recent days solely in Gaara's company and had enjoyed every minute of it. But that was the problem. While in his arms, Sakura simply wasn't able to think. Her rationality flew out the window as soon as she felt the touch of his fingertips or the scrape of his teeth on her skin. Gaara dominated her senses completely and she couldn't help being overpowered.
In a way, this terrified her. She had never lost herself so completely because of a man before. If this continued, she would inevitably lose all contact with the assertive and independent part of herself. And this was a part of her personality she valued over everything else. Sakura couldn't afford to lose herself, no matter how blissful and perfect her encounters with the redhead were.
Problem was, these doubts had only surfaced when she had parted company with the redhead. They had come crawling up from the shadows for the past few hours and refused to back down. If this was something she felt so strongly about, why had she thought of it until now?
'Because you've been immersed in a haze of pleasure and you simply weren't thinking' she thought, immensely frustrated with herself. 'As soon as he kisses you again, you'll regress back to where you started.'
Sakura swallowed visibly as she thought of the implications of permanently falling under Gaara's domineering influence.
"It might have been inevitable but I think this it's going too far," she confessed to her friend.
"What do you mean?" Ino asked with a puzzled frown.
"I think he wants me to stay here," she said in a disturbed tone.
Blue eyes blinked at her. "Why would you think that?"
"Because he told me!"
Noting the desperate tone in her friend's voice, Ino reached out to lay a hand her arm. "He can't think that. You've got a mission to fulfil."
"You have no idea of how possessive he is," Sakura said. "These past few days, he didn't allowed me to go out of his sight. He always has to know where I am. Even now, look where I'm sitting. He glances this way every few minutes to make sure I'm still sitting here."
Ino turned to surreptitiously survey the training grounds and realized Sakura was right. "Hmm, I see what you mean. I guess you could just talk to him and tell him to back off."
Sakura barked out an incredulous laugh. "That's the problem. You can't talk to Gaara. He thinks he's right all the time. Imagine the verbal war we'll have if I voice my thoughts."
"Is that panic in your voice?" Ino asked, eyeing her friend cautiously.
"Maybe!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "I feel like I've walked willingly into a trap and a cage has landed on top of me."
"Sakura, you need to calm down. Just breathe." The blond lifted her hand to clasp her shoulder, giving her a little shake. "I think you're reading too much into this."
"That might be true," she replied, breathing out deeply, "but it doesn't change the way I feel."
"What are you planning to do?"
"I'm not going to do anything. He can believe whatever he wants but when the time comes, I'm leaving... and I don't plan on coming back. Can you imagine what it'd be like to live in this place permanently? I don't know how Tenten is going to pull it off."
Ino shivered at the prospect. She wholeheartedly agreed. Personally, she couldn't wait to get the hell out of the clan's territory. Sure, the people here were immensely nice, despite their gruff exterior, and they had gone out of their way to make them feel welcome. But actually living here? Sakura was right. They needed to go back to their home city as soon as they possibly could.
Still, not saying things to Gaara might present a rather bigger problem than her friend thought. "I don't think he'd handle you not telling him that you're leaving very well."
"Exactly," Sakura agreed. "That's why I won't."
Ino still seemed unconvinced. "He might tie you up or drug you so you sign a marriage contract."
"Ha!" her friend exclaimed with narrowed eyes. "Let him try!"
"Do you really dislike him that much?" the blond asked with an incredulous look.
"I don't dislike him," Sakura admitted with a sigh, "quite the opposite. The man makes me forget everything else whenever he's close. He's a talented warrior and an admirable leader, despite his violent temper. He possesses this intensity in everything he does... he tackles life with such fervour, it's breathtaking sometimes. But none of that matters, at least not in our circumstance."
Ino was giving her a sly glance. Her friend truly sounded like a woman in love, even if she didn't want to admit it. Sakura was letting her head get in the way of her heart. This wasn't surprising in the least; being a medic, she tended to let her brain make the decisions at all times. This whole thing seemed to be a chance for her to learn to do otherwise. But from the looks of it, she was resisting admirably. Ino suspected the temperamental redhead some distance away was going to be a hard lesson Sakura would forget.
"It's just that his life here has nothing to do with mine," Sakura was saying. "We're complete opposites. As much as we get along, in our weird bickering sort of way, it just wouldn't work out. Besides, he's made his life here in this village and I've made mine back home. There's just no reconciling the two of them."
As she said the words, the pink haired girl fought a terrible ache in her chest. It was a truth she had been fighting not to acknowledge. Living here wasn't an option for her, she knew that much. She'd go completely insane. Moreover, she had her life back home and wanted to return to it. Gaara had his life here too. He was one of the best fighters in the village and was highly respected among the clan. She couldn't ask him to leave all that behind for her sake. He'd worked to get to where he was just like she had worked for her own goals. Despite what was blossoming between them, there was nothing she could do about it. Even if his caresses took her breath away and his kisses made her forget all else in the world, reality couldn't be ignored. It was best for her to come to terms with it as soon as possible.
Sakura had known their relationship wouldn't go anywhere from the very beginning. Nothing would change that; not their discovery of each other's bodies or the perfect way their skin blended together.
It was best to make the best of the time they had together and, when the time came for them to go their separate ways, to let it all go.
"So you're making the decision for him?" Ino asked.
The pink haired girl sighed. "I think it's better that way."
"He'd definitely disagree with that," her friend replied. "But suit yourself."
In a way, Ino was completely right. But talking with Gaara about their supposed future together wasn't an option. They simply didn't have a future. As much as this prospect made her heart ache, it was only fit for her to be honest with herself.
Of course, thinking she needed to let all this go was a lot easier than doing it.
After training some hours later, Gaara had made his way to the healer's hut so they could walk back together. As they headed back towards his house, being in his presence felt so right it almost reduced her to tears. The fact that he was going back to the front lines tomorrow wasn't helping either. Even if she couldn't have a life together with him in the time to come, it didn't mean she wouldn't worry about him in the present.
"You're brooding over something," he commented.
Damn the man! Why the hell did he only ask about her mood when it had to do with him?
"Says who?" she countered testily.
He graced her with a sidelong glance. "I don't have a problem if you want to make this difficult. I'll just ask the question again while you're climax-"
"You insufferable ass!" she hissed, cutting him short so the people they were passing by didn't hear the end of his sentence. "If you really have to know, I'm upset over you."
He blinked. "Over me? What the hell have I done to get you all worked up?" he replied angrily.
She sighed. "You haven't done anything... yet."
Jade eyes glared down at her. "So you're upset with me for something I haven't done?"
"Yes," she answered. Suddenly, it was extremely fun to get him all riled up.
He muttered something under his breath which sounded very much like a scathing insult.
Sakura giggled, the tension she'd felt all day easing unexpectedly. But this only angered him further. They had reached the hut by then and she proceeded to open the door. But the moment she did so, she was swooped up into the redhead's arms.
"Hey!" she complained as he sat down on the tatami and was deposited on his lap.
"Are you going to tell me what this is all about or am I going to have to take your clothes off to interrogate you?"
"Arrogant bastard." But her smile belied her words.
"Well?" he snapped impatiently.
"Fine," Sakura replied with a sigh. "I'm upset with you because you're going back out there tomorrow."
His annoyed expression disappeared, replaced by the look of melting jade that never failed to touch something deep inside her. "You're worried about me?"
"Of course I'm worried about you," she replied, irritated. Hadn't the way she'd nurtured him back to health been enough evidence of that? "It's a war, after all."
Gaara lifted a hand to caress her hair. "Nothing will happen to me."
She snorted. "You can't know that. You can't predict what'll happen."
"Are you questioning my prowess as a fighter?" he asked with a superior look.
"No, it's just that-"
He silenced her with a hot kiss. A few breathless moments later, he pulled away and surveyed her with an amused glance.
"I'll come back to you," he promised haughtily. "You'll have your sex toy back each night."
The conceited prick! This only reinforced the fact that it was impossible for her to talk to him. Sakura grinded her teeth as her temper rose to the fore. "If that's the case, I don't have to worry. If you kick the bucket I can look for a sex toy elsewhere!"
His eyes hardened so fast it was as if they had suddenly frozen. That had certainly been the wrong thing to say. But Sakura didn't care; if he wanted to downplay their relationship to being just sex, she wasn't going to contradict him.
"You're not going anywhere," he replied with a fierce whisper. His hands lifted to the front of the vest she was wearing and tore it open. Hot tongue and sharp teeth descended upon her skin. Sakura could do nothing but elicit a helpless whimper as he reignited the fire that was never truly dormant whenever they were in each other's presence.
She let him stoke her body into flames without any attempt to stop him. He was returning to the battlefield tomorrow, after all. Enjoying the possessiveness of his caresses once again wasn't going to change the end result of their liaison, so she might as well lose herself in it. His tongue coveted every inch of her skin, just like her fingertips yearned to touch the honed muscles of his body. Something deep inside of her wanted to memorise how every crook and cranny of his skin felt like. She fell victim to the impulse and helped to make the heat between them unbearable.
If the remainder of her stay under his roof meant she would be constantly immersed in this scorching blaze, she wouldn't mind if he turned her to ash.
XXXXXXXXXX
"You're not going anywhere," a dark voice hissed as sand buried her limbs and invaded her mouth. It filled her throat relentlessly until she choked, her lungs caving from lack of air.
With a start, she sat upright like a bolt upon the futon.
It was morning already and Gaara had already left. She had woken up before dawn to say goodbye to him and had fallen asleep again afterwards.
Her jagged breathing echoed throughout the empty house, resounding loudly in her ears. She tried to decrease her heart to beat to a normal rhythm again but it was some minutes before the sinister vision of her nightmare vanished enough for her to calm down.
Gaara had said those words the day before and he had meant them. At the time, Sakura had been too distracted by his love making to pay much attention to them. But now they were coming back.
Her dream wasn't at all hard to understand. The choking feeling brought by the possibility of being trapped in this clan's village perpetually was easy to recognize. The mere thought of never going back home was enough to make her feel suffocated. The possessive way Gaara had said the words didn't help either. The Gods only knew what lengths he might go to just to keep her here. His infatuation towards her was increasing by the minute and didn't bode well for her plans.
She harboured feelings towards the redhead, that much had been made terribly clear over the past days. The spark of attraction between them had turned into lightning once they shared their bodies intimately. If given the right circumstances, it could grow to become something even deeper. Problem was, the circumstances weren't right. She became even more aware of that by the minute.
Gaara was caging her and she didn't like it. He was making her feel trapped, much like she had felt when she walked into the village with her companions for the first time. It made her feel in captivity, something that didn't sit well with her independent personality.
His sensuous ministrations could make her forget things temporarily. While in his arms, there was nothing that made her feel threatened. On the contrary, she felt amazingly safe and protected. But Sakura was no fool and wouldn't allow herself to be tricked. Something inside her rose to the fore whenever she was allowed a moment away from him. Her freedom didn't have a price; she knew that much. No matter how pleasurable sharing his futon was, the pink haired medic wasn't about to sacrifice her autonomy.
Given the first opportunity, she was going to leave.
Gaara would just have to live with that.
As usual, let me know what you think!
