Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Light On

The first thought Cedric had walking in the doors of the Great Hall was, Are they trying to blind me?

As he adjusted to the whiteness around him, he realized that it was just ice. Everywhere. More ice than Cedric had ever seen in his life. Ice made up the benches and tables; there were sculptures everywhere, and the enchanted ceiling was an icy blue. It was a rather nice change from the usual dark stone and red fires. He found a big smile spreading over his face.

It dawned on him that everyone thought he was smiling because of his success in the tournament and with Cho. But he was smiling because the vast majority of the ice was the same color as Jesse's eyes. The irony of it all made him want to laugh, and he did.

Cho smiled too, having no idea what was making Cedric so much happier than usual. He was much deeper than everyone thought he was, but he never shared everything. She cared for him deeply, and she would give a lot to know what was bothering him all the time. If he didn't want to share, however, that was fine.

As the music started up, Cedric started whirling Cho around, his odd giddiness growing. Many people, including most of the students, didn't know that Hogwarts had a Chorus, Band, and Orchestra. Jesse had been in Chorus. She had often lamented in the lack of theatrical performances. She loved to dance. She would have loved this ball.

After several minutes more of dancing, Cedric went to get drinks for Cho and himself. Despite the multitude of ice, it was getting quite warm. The ice wouldn't melt, of course, but Cedric felt like he might. As he gathered up two glasses of punch, the director of the Hogwarts Chorus hurried over.

"Mr. Diggory!" The small man chirruped. Cedric smiled at him. "Spectacular performance on that dragon! Miss Lovegood would have been most proud of you, I'm sure."

"So am I, sir," Cedric sighed.

"It is on that thought that I am approaching you. I wanted to give this to you," he handed Cedric a thick purple envelope, addressed to him in silvery script. "Now I must get back to the music."

"Yes, sir," Cedric answered vaguely. He opened the envelope, and out came a thick piece of lavender parchment. A memorial service for the one-year anniversary of Jesse's death. His previous high starting to wear off, he returned to Cho and handed her the punch. She took it gratefully, sipping it. She wore a calculating expression. "Is something wrong?"

Cedric sighed again, looking down at the invitation, then back up at Cho. He cared for her, enough to let her know some of his secrets. He handed her the parchment while he sipped his own punch. She read it silently.

"I remember her," Cho said quietly. Cedric was shocked for a second, then remembered that Cho was a Ravenclaw as Jesse had been. "We weren't great friends, but we got on well." She looked right up into Cedric's eyes. "Is this what's been bothering you all this time? If you ever want to talk about her, you can, you know. I won't be offended or anything, because I know she was special to you. But you don't have to hide."

Cedric sat, supporting his head in his hands. How could he explain to Cho how it felt to lose the most important thing to you? How to sit through a funeral, how to accept hundreds of people saying the same thing over and over again, thinking it was helping but really making it worse? How could he explain the way it feels to be completely exhausted but by the time you go to bed, you can't sleep and stay up all night crying to try and fill up the empty reservoir in your body? How could she understand the battle going on inside him at this very moment, between himself and himself? He wanted to be with Cho- on the other hand, it felt like a great insult to Jesse's memory.

There was just no way to do it.

"I wish I could tell you what I'm thinking, but I don't even know how to put it into words," Cedric told her finally. "I'm not really sure how to explain it to myself. But thank you for your concern."

Cho nodded, her expression a mix of sympathy, confusion, and something Cedric couldn't really put his finger on. She sat down next to him, crossing her ankles. Cedric stared into his cup, swilling its contents around as he thought. The happiness from before had faded completely.

"Would you like to dance some more?" Cedric finally suggested, keen on changing the subject. Cho looked around at him with another odd look on her face. It was kind of an awkward question, he supposed, but it was the best he could come up with at the moment.

After another moment's pause, Cho replied, "I suppose."

Dancing wasn't really that hard. But that fact only meant that you had more time to think.

-x-x-x-x-x-

It was late by the time Cedric trudged up the stairs to his dormitory. His dorm-mates were chatting excitedly around him about the ball. Mainly, the girls at the ball.

He was too tired to realize there was light spilling from under the door. The first boy to reach the door, Damien Key, pulled it open and led the others inside. "Did you leave the light on, Ced?"

"Wha…? No," Cedric replied sleepily.

"Well, the one by your bed is on, and I didn't turn it on."

Cedric turned towards his four-poster. Indeed, the light on his bedside table was on. "I know I turned it off when I left," Cedric said bemusedly.

The other boys shrugged and various versions of "I didn't touch it" issued from their mouths.

"Maybe I didn't turn it off…" Cedric said, more for their benefit than his. Because at that moment he spotted a photo propped up in front of the light. It was the smiling picture of him and Jesse in a tree. He smiled to match the one in the picture, changed into his pajamas, and went to sleep.