Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
A/N: May I please just say, I am SO sorry for the huge lack of updating. That's what I get for trying to write so many things at once.
Thanks a load to SHeWithNoName for reviewing and Alerting!! Also to DarkFlame Alchemist for Favoriting, and Adorkable93 for Alerting!!
One last thing: gomenasai, but I seriously need to cut down on chapter length. I won't post any chapters shorter than a thousand words, though. Hopefully not having to write three-thousand-word chapters will mean faster updates. I hope.
Chapter Seven: Of Trackers and Trees
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And the pandemonium hadn't ended yet. In the next ten seconds, Tazuna invited us over to his house, and Kakashi collapsed.
I wasn't sure which incident I disliked more.
We trudged to the old man's place, taking turns carrying Kakashi (okay, maybe more like dragging him..). His irate daughter, Tsunami, greeted us.
She set up a floor futon for Kakashi, who was half-awake by that time and explained that he had overused the Sharingan. Terrific, I thought. What good is a technique-especially a powerful one-if you can't use it without knocking yourself out?!
He slept through most of the next few days. Eventually, we got extremely bored. Naruto and Sakura even attempted to lift off his mask while he slept, but by the time they had worked up the guts to do it, Kakashi had bolted upright with a nervous look on his face. Guess even Jonin can have nightmares.
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"Something is wrong," Kakashi announced over lunch later that day.
Uh…duh? I couldn't help thinking. Which thing are you specifying? We're stuck on a B-rank mission when it was supposedly only D-rank. I have to deal with the Emo Kid until the old man finishes his bridge. This rice tastes about a year old, give or take a few days. Take your pick.
"Trackers like that boy usually-no, always-dispose of the body on the spot," he informed us. "And think about the weapon he used to 'kill' Zabuza."
Needles, I remembered. But what the heck is so special about-
Hang on. Needles. Acupuncture. Words from half-listened-to lectures at the Academy raced through my head.
Some medics used old-fashioned methods instead of jutsu. Those medics often used needles, inserted into certain parts of the body, to create a sort of fake death. They would knock out the patient and temporarily stop all organs.
So, assuming I wasn't completely on the wrong track, that meant-
"Zabuza is most likely still alive," Kakashi declared.
..Well, that cements it, I decided, swallowing hard as Tazuna sputtered in disbelief. We are dead ninja walking.
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A pep talk followed, of course-some mush about how much all of Team Seven had improved-along with a promise of additional training.
Irritating as the concept of being trained by this weirdo was, I had to admit it was a necessary tactical move. If Zabuza was alive, and attacked again, then we were finished. Actually, I was moderately sure that we were finished regardless of training, but hey-Kakashi had to keep morale up somehow, I suppose.
Naruto, staying true to form, was pumped up about the extra training. "Sounds like fun!" he exclaimed.
Just as I was seriously wondering if he needed a head examination, the words "That's not fun" came out of nowhere. We turned simultaneously to see a small kid with a striped hat and messy, dark hair standing in the doorway, eyeing us all with a wary and tired look.
"Inari, say hello," Tsunami instructed him. "They're the shinobi who defended your grandfather." Oh. Tazuna's grandson, huh?
The kid looked up at us with a scowl and, unbelievably, proceeded to tell his mother, "Why bother? They're all gonna die anyway."
..Charming. The little brat.
"What did you say?!" Naruto roared.
"You can't beat Gato," the kid snapped, using that matter-of-fact tone that Ika often did.
"I'm gonna be Hokage!!" Naruto persisted as Sakura restrained him. "This Gato guy is nothing against me!!"
"Overconfident much?" I muttered.
"What are you, stupid?" Inari growled. "If you wanna live, then leave." He turned and left the room.
"Oh, how ominous!" I grumbled to myself in a tone dripping with sarcasm. "Some kid tells us we can't win. We should turn and go home."
"Maybe he's been traumatized," Ika suggested lightly.
"Don't play therapist, Ika," I warned. "I'm tired enough as it is without having to slap you." She shrugged and (thankfully) shut her mouth.
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The next day Kakashi took us all into the nearby woods (he was on crutches, I might add) to begin our extra training.
Whoopie.
"First off, I want to clarify a few points about chakra," he began.
"Hang on-what's chakra?" Naruto asked.
I closed my eyes. You have got to be kidding me. We're going to fight the Demon of the Bloody Mist..with a Genin so stupid he doesn't even know what chakra is?!! Why, god, why do you hate me so?!
Kakashi must have been thinking along the same lines, albeit probably less harshly.
"I must've slept through that class," Naruto explained, looking sheepish.
"Idiot," the Emo Kid muttered.
"For once, I agree," I said under my breath. Ika turned and sent me a slow grin. I frowned. If she decided to pester me about agreeing with the Uchiha, there was an excellent chance that I would reach 'Homicidal' mode before lunchtime. Fortunately, she said nothing. Which was a feat in itself.
I ended up spending the first few minutes of our precious training time half-listening to a supremely boring lecture on chakra, administered by Sakura. Why can't it wait? I thought unhappily, looking at the sky with what was probably a pleading expression. The rest of us already sat through this crap in school!
The sound of sharp metal hitting dirt shot through my bored stupor. I blinked, looked down, and saw a kunai knife embedded in the dirt at my feet. It looked like every Genin had gotten one. Is he going to make us fight to the death or something? I wondered. Guess I could think of worse ways to spend the morning.. (Relax, I was kidding. Kidding!)
"Use those to mark your progress," Kakashi instructed. "Go ahead and start."
Wait-start?!
Oh, crap! I had spaced out a little too long.
What the flipping heck am I supposed to be doing?!!
Everyone else snatched up their knives, and ran at a tree.
Uh, okay..running at trees..I can do that.. I followed suit, a beat or two behind the others.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw all of the Genin attempting the same thing, which appeared to be..running up the side of the tree. Um, huh?! I stopped short. I mean, really, what the heck!
The laws of gravity were inevitably enforced, sending Naruto and Kasu to the ground on their butts. Ika managed a step or two purely out of momentum, then fell backwards. Birdhead, of course, made it a good way up the tree before making a mark with his kunai and flipping off the trunk to land on his feet. Show off. At least I knew what the kunai were for.
Sakura, to my surprise, had made it the furthest, and was sitting casually on a branch not far from the very top. She grinned down at us.
"…Saki?"
I winced. Oh great. Here it comes. There I was, standing like an idiot while everyone else at least attempted the training exercise. This could not possibly reflect well on me.
"Which part of the drill didn't you understand?" Kakashi inquired with an evil kind of cheerfulness.
"I, uh…" I was screwed, that's what I was.
"Would you like me to explain it again?" the evil sensei continued. He's enjoying making me squirm, the jerk…
"No," I said without thinking. Apparently my brain had gotten sick of my stammering and decided to go on autopilot. Which was bad, seeing as I had no freakin' clue what was going on. Apparently we were supposed to run up a tree sideways. Great. How??
"Were you making sure your tree wasn't going to fall down under you?" Kasu teased, the familiar grin on his face. I shot him a look that I hoped conveyed the message, I am going to kill you using nothing more than a spoon and my fingernails.
"Well, Saki, since you decided not to run at the same time as everyone else-for some inexplicable reason-why don't you take your run now?" Kakashi 'suggested' with relish.
"…" I never thought there would be a sensei I despised more than Touko. But Kakashi could give her a run for her money.
But of course, I couldn't back down. And I would rather pull my own teeth out one at a time than admit I didn't hear a word of his lecture.
I nodded, hiding behind a thin mask of confidence, and bent to pick up my assigned kunai.
"Ready when you are," Kakashi said cheerfully.
…I hate you.
I bolted, running at the nearest tree with as much speed as I could. When it looked like I was about close enough to kiss the trunk, I lifted my feet and kept running-up.
For about oh, two seconds.
It was like some old cartoon. My feet were still moving at fifty miles an hour, but I wasn't going up anymore. Momentum had been spent, and I was about a millisecond away from falling. And that was going to hurt.
Remembering the kunai knife, I raised it and made a deep gash in the tree just in time. I could feel myself tipping backwards, so I attempted to push off from the tree and flip over. It was a crapshoot whether or not I would land on my feet, but hey. Desperate times.
I kicked off, and for a few glorious seconds I felt like I was flying.
Then I remembered, Oh yeah, I'm falling.
On the upside, I managed to land on my feet.
On the ever-present downside, I didn't get my bearing fast enough, and ended up tripping over aforementioned feet and landing flat on my face.
Figures.
I heard snickers as I picked myself up off the ground. I wanted to kill the snickerer, and then find a nice quiet place where I could curl up and die.
Yeah, death sounded good right about then.
To Be Continued
