"Dissociative what?"
"Dissociative Personality Disorder."
"What?" Satoshi's brow furrowed even further under the heavy weight of this diagnosis I had just handed to him as he took another hard swallow of the drink in his hand.
I had to admit...he wasn't the only one baffled by this. I had just spent the last hour telling him exactly what had happened. Going over it again again in my mind before having met up with him. And I myself still couldn't quite come to terms with the label I had just uttered. I gave the small shake of my head as I followed Satoshi's lead, taking a smaller sip of my own drink as we sat at the bar together. After today, I knew that I had desperately needed an outlet to voice my thoughts. My concerns.
After today, I knew that I had needed a friend.
And I found myself grateful that Satoshi had had the night off.
The events of this afternoon continued to swirl around my mind. Confusing my thoughts. The despondent, heartbroken doubter...Yuki Sohma. The hardened, bitter cynic...now self identified as The Memory Keeper. The hysteric and cheerful effervescent...both having made a strangely powerful and immediate connection with the sweet, caring Tohru Honda. All of these pieces. All of them...had been thrown about and scattered in my office with this afternoon's session with Akito Sohma.
After I had roused the young woman from our first session of guided meditation, I was almost revealed to witness the reemergence of the doubter. But when she took stalk of my grim expression of concern, I saw her rigid, stick like figure overtaken and overwhelmed by anxiety.
At first, Yuki had begun to make fairly coherent demands to know what had happened during the session when he had been under hypnosis. I had wanted the doubter to regain a level of calm before I spoke of the details of this session. I had wanted Yuki to be fully aware and mentally capable of safely taking in and absorbing what I was about to say. But the more I attempted to sooth and redirect the conversation, the more anxious the doubter became.
...until I found that I was no longer entertaining the doubter, but the hysteric...
It had happened so suddenly. So quickly that, for a moment, I hadn't noticed the subtle change. Hadn't registered the shift in temperament. Until it was far too late, and the fragile, timid doubter sitting on my couch burst into tears and wailing lamentations. The young woman in my office was no longer responsive to consolation and comfort. No longer coherent or rational. At one point I doubted that she even knew that I was present with her as I watched her descend into a downward spiral of panic and hysteria.
When she began to bang her head against the wall, hurting herself in the process, I was forced to make the decision to have her sedated. An unsavory choice I hadn't wanted to make. Two hours of bed rest, and soon after the patient regained consciousness and was able to see reason, I stepped into Akito Sohma's room to navigate a frank discussion about the woman's options.
I stepped out of that room with a signed consent for voluntary hospitalization, revealed when she so readily agreed before I had the opportunity to breath the notion of involuntary psychiatric hospitalization. A forced stay. Back to where we had started, with this fragile young woman in the hospital where our paths had first crossed, it felt like such a failure on my part.
"So what exactly is this..."
"Dissociative Personality Disorder." I murmured to fill the small pause, finishing my friend's question as he gave a swift nod.
"Yeah. That." Satoshi uttered lowly. "What is it? I've never heard of that diagnosis before." A nod of my own came in response to this statement.
"It's a new term for an old disorder." I conceded.
I doubted that he would have known of this remastered term for something I never thought I would have seen in my lifetime. Honestly...up until this very moment I had thought it a myth. A nonexistent phantom disorder made up of statistical criteria that could always be better explained by another diagnosis. Always...
...but then I met Akito Sohma...
A breathless sigh escaped my lips before they were taken over with the last of my drink.
"It use to be termed Multiple Personality Disorder." I murmured, not needing to see my friend's expression to know that he was all too aware of this name.
This was only solidified by the silence that ensued, surrounding the two of us as my mind wrapped itself around what I had read in the text book I had taken from my shelf as soon as the young woman had been sedated and removed from my office. I sat with the litany of symptoms and criteria coming to flesh the diagnosis I still didn't want to accept. But each one was simply another nail in the coffin of something I simply couldn't deny or brush off to the side.
Each one quietly whispered Akito's name from the pages of my diagnostic manual.
-Two or more distinct personalities exist in one individual; one personality [usually referred to as an alter] is always present.
-Dissociative amnesia including gaps in the recall of important personal information and everyday events.
-Severe distress and impairment in function because of the disorder.
-The disturbance is not part of normal cultural or religious practices.
-The disturbance can't be explained but substance use or another medical condition.
And then there was the myriad of compelling literature I had managed to lose myself in this afternoon. The various articles and studies of unquestionable validity I had read seemed an echo of the haunting whisper that infiltrated my mind, sending its tendrils to wrap around and quell what little doubt I still clung to.
People with DID often also suffer from borderline personality disorder characteristics, somatization disorder (physical symptoms without cause), major depression, posttraumatic stress disorder and suicide attempts.
The signs of dissociative identify disorder include a number of characteristics regarding the multiple personalities including:
-The personalities are discrepant (disagreeing) and often opposite.
-Each personality is well-ingrained with its own memories, behavioral patterns and social relationships that govern its behavior.
-Transition from one personality to another is often sudden and brought on by stress.
The more I read...the more I knew that I simply couldn't ignore or play this diagnosis off as irrelevant or coincidental. As much as I wanted to. Because...each symptom. Each criteria. Each word seemed to fit a puzzle that I had been struggling to piece together.
...until now...
As much as I had wanted to dismiss what I had found. Everything that I had found. It seemed that the more I objectively looked at this enigma, without bias, one thing seemed to ring true. And this truth was the scientific principle that, all things being equal, the simplest answer was usually the right one.
This diagnosis was my Occam's Razor.
"Multiple Personality Disorder..." I heard this echoed from Satoshi's lips as I felt him mull it over in his mind as I had, finishing what was left of his drink before speaking again. "So how did the kid take it when you told them?"
"I haven't." I murmured lowly with the shake of my head. "Not yet." And I saw the small nod of understanding from my friend out of my peripheral as I gave a small sigh. "I still want to make absolutely certain that I'm right." I murmured. "...before I tell her anything..."
"So what now, then?" I heard this whisper through the softer sounds swirling around us.
"She voluntarily admitted herself this afternoon." I murmured lightly. "Shortly after our first session."
...not that she had been given much of a choice...
"But I really don't know how long we can keep her. Or how long she'll want to stay." I begrudgingly admitted to Satoshi. "Since she willingly signed herself in..."
"I know." Satoshi murmured lightly, his voice grim along the thoughts we shared. "She has full right to leave." And I gave an unbeckoned nod to this.
"So when will you be seeing her?" He asked, turning towards me as I met his gaze.
"Tomorrow morning." I stated, this falling so matter-of-factly from my lips. "First thing." And I watched the infinitesimal shapings of concern etch themselves along Satoshi's face.
Maybe he had reason to worry...
Only time would tell. Time, and the light of a new day.
A/N: So...I hope that this chapter wasn't TOO entirely boring for you guys. Or too short, for that matter. But...as a note of interest...this was me...completely nerding out on you all. I simply love psychology. It's my cup of tea, and I find it simply fascinating. I don't anticipate any of the future chapters to be this technical, but I simply couldn't help myself. But if you enjoyed this as much as I did, feel free to talk nerdy to me. Pun and song reference totally intended.
I hope that this chapter brings clarity to the story's plot, and what is going on.
Credit given to the DSM V: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition. Also www . healthyplace . com. Always remember to list your sources!
