CHAPTER VII- It's Dangerous to go Alone!
Sitting with your legs perched on either side of a horse was a not a comfortable way of traveling, let me tell you. To this day, I still cringe hard at how much my back had ached, and how itchy the inside of my thighs had become. I had switched positions on top of the horse so many times it was absolutely ridiculous. Therefore, travelling on the thing did not put me a great mood that day, despite the nice weather (I was more than glad that it didn't rain), and all the reading I did.
I could've travelled much faster if I knew how to make Jerall run instead of simply stride. Oh well, one can't learn everything about riding a horse in five minutes.
I managed to finish all three books Brother Piner had given me (they seemed a bit short compared to the Nerd Bibles I was used to). I learned a lot of things, actually, about the Daedric Princes and also about the provinces of this continent. Also a very good blocking tactic of that book The Warp in the West (even if the book itself was confusing as fuck). And apparently Uriel was involved in that thing too, like damn that man is fucking everywhere.
I learned that there were different races inhabiting the different provinces, so to make my life easier I simplified the info about the provinces so that I won't mix them up too.
Cyrodiil: cute looking humans everywhere one can look (of course, the Imperial Province would be filled with many Imperials who are cute because that apparently is my race for some reason).
Hammerfell: giant sand pit where the Redguards warriors live. And they've got scimitars, which are curved swords- CURVED SWORDS.
High Rock: basically France with small humans named Bretons, who are apparently the bastard kids of the elves and are very good at magic because of that.
Skyrim: ice hell with angry Viking people, the Nords. Fun fact that it was the first province to be inhabited, which means even the dark-skinned Redguards descend from them.
Morrowind: bug hell with a side of ash and volcano. The grey-skinned Dunmer people with red eyes from pot live there. It is infamous for many things, most noticeably something called 'cliff racer'. I wonder what those are.
Black Marsh: a place notable for being black and a marsh filled with lizards called Argonians, who I hope are not lusty like that cringy book Piner almost gave me.
Elsweyr: Basically cringe-land because it's a place filled with fucking furries who are basically people who look like FNAF OCs aka Khajiits. Infamous for being the Breaking Bad province.
Valenwood: forest fucking everywhere filled with scary Legolas elves who apparently follow a certain 'Green Pact' where they can't do anything with plants but they eat other people? I'm not sure if I got that part right.
Summerset Isles: a set of isles where the summer sets and are filled with tall yellow elves who think they are the best. I have a slight feeling that I won't like those Altmer people.
And there are also the Orcs who are battle hardened green monsters who have an ongoing fight with the Bretons because they hate each other.
I also learned a great deal about Daedric Princes, like the fact that each one has their own playground in Oblivion and shit. Also, a plot twist in all this is that not all Daedra are considered evil, some Princes are as 'nice' as Demon Lords can be. I learned that the term daedra mean 'not our ancestors' in some sort of elvish tongue, and in opposition to aedra which means 'our ancestors', and which are apparently the Divines I've heard about. Except that Talos fellow, because he was just a random warrior dude who became a God. No biggie.
And about the two recurring names in this piece of work that is my diary thing: Mehrunes Dagon and Sheogorath.
Mehrunes is literally the Daedric Prince of Destruction, which means he wants everyone's candy ass, because of the Emperor's murder and the Dragonfires thing he could now destroy the world and whatnot.
Sheg-Sheg is the Daedric Prince of Madness, which means he likes to go cray-cray and drag others along with his madness. Which also means, he wants little Amaya here to drive people cray-cray and spread funsies. Whatever dude.
Anyway,
It had been fucking forever that I had been riding Jerall, and honestly, I think I was a lot more tired and annoyed at this trip than the poor horse that carried me around. That moment I regretted not bringing my phone with me…at least I'd have Candy Crush to play while bored. Oh well, I can see my phone when I come back, which means extra motivation to actually come back and not run away from all of this and become a drug dealer.
According to my map, I was almost in Skingrad when the sun begun to set the day I left Weynon Priory. If my calculations are right (and they probably weren't), I would arrive in Kvatch the day after around noon. It would've been faster if I hadn't stopped three times just to eat.
The ride through the woods had been uneventful enough, I guess. Which in this video-game world might just be the best thing to happen in a journey to find the Emperor's bastard son.
I bumbled along in the countryside, through a mass of trees, with the sun peeking heavily through the leaves. The woods I traveled through were simple, yet nice look at. I mentally nodded to myself for choosing the easier path through the forest, because at least I had a nice view. Being lazy compensates.
"Say, Jerall, this weird world is kinda nice, right?" This was the kind of thing I suggested myself to, because I was lonely. So why not talk to the horse? Honestly my life can't get any more fucked up than this. "I wish I didn't have to ride you all day long, but this place has magical armors for assassins but not cars. Go figure."
The horse shifted bellow me.
"You're probably right. We should rest. Soon enough we won't be able to see what's right in front of us…and I will not have that." I sighted. If I learned anything from watching all the seasons of Bear Grylls' Man vs Wild is that I should not travel at night and when the sun starts to set I should look for shelter, "But on the bright side I can camouflage myself by wrapping my face with my hair! I bet no one could see me," I had my hair down during the entire trip up to this point, and so I took hold of it and wrapped my face with it, "See? INVISIBLE!"
Jerall lowered his head after that. Is this horse insulting me?
"I would sing a very heartfelt song for you called 'Look At My Horse' but you don't deserve that honor, so fuck you." I crossed my arms and continued with my resting bitch face.
The horse, apparently had a mild understanding of the English language so he knew that I had insulted him, and it on purpose bucked, projecting me backwards, making me do a barrel roll and fall down on my face into the soft leafy floor (at least I didn't die).
Ouch.
I spitted some dirt from my mouth, the awful taste of it was unbearable, "WAS THAT ON PURPOSE YOU SORRY EXCUSE OF A HORSE!?" I yelled for everyone to listen, still on the floor. Thinking back, that was probably not the best idea for there could be random bandits lurking in the woods waiting for someone like me to show up. "YOU COULD'VE KILLED ME!"
Jerall glared at me with his stupid horsy stare and neighed.
I've been humiliated by a horse. A fucking animal. Fuck me. Luckily nobody saw that, because that would be awkward.
"This is…degrading," I sighted, getting up from the floor. I dusted off my clothes and face, unsheathed my sword and pointed it at Jerall, "You win this time, foul beast!"
This is what happens when I am alone for too long. I start doing crazy shit.
Anyway, since the horse kindly helped me get off him, I decided to retire for the night, by building a tiny camp around here so I could rest.
I looked around for a bit and noticed I was in a clearing, and in the not so far distance I could see city walls, which I assumed to be Skingrad (which meant that I didn't get lost for a change). Not the best place to build camp since it's too exposed and I am very well aware that I can be slaughtered in a few seconds if too exposed. But honestly who cares.
I thought about walking a bit more and staying at a hotel- inn- at the city of Skingrad but I figured it was not worth the hustle of socializing with people from this weird world, and camping could be fun, actually.
Not that I liked to get out of my house unless I was forced to, and I never understood the hype people had with hiking and camping, for, in my humble opinion, disgraced our ancestors who didn't have a comfortable house and air-conditioning to live in and thus had to live out in the open.
Once my father took me (unwillingly, of course…he said I was spending far too much time with video-game characters than with my family) to a camping trip, but unlike now, we had this very cool tent that was almost like a mansion- that was the only way to drag me into the woods. I wish my dad was here- he would know how to set up a reasonable camp. I mentally sighed, thinking that I didn't even have time to say goodbye to him.
Either way, I better lean onto some tree with my bedroll and just let sleep lure me. I love how sleeping is like being dead but better. Death without the commitment.
I walked to Jerall (who had thrown me quite far, actually) and started to collect my gear from his back. "We'll stay here for the night." I also thought it would be a good idea to tie the horse's reigns up so I wouldn't lose him. I can imagine Maborel's face when I return without his horse and having the excuse of 'oh I lost it'.
I grabbed my shit and walked to a nearby oak like tree (sorry I'm not an expert of fauna to be able to know what tree that was, I studied fucking Computer Sciences at University, which meant I knew little next to nothing about nature, which means I assumed it was an oak tree) that seemed perfect for sleeping. No, I wouldn't climb it because I'm not Bear Grylls but I would try to make myself comfortable just lying on my bedroll. The roots seem like a good enough pillow, I guess.
Close to said roots, I noticed a little bush with little black colored berries on it, "Ohh, blackberries!" I exclaimed. Oh how I loved berries.
It probably wasn't a good idea to pick random forest berries without knowing anything about them, but I was too oblivious to care, and I obviously didn't learn anything from The Hunger Games. I proceeded to pick some of the black berries and even shoved a couple into my mouth right away, and saved the rest for later.
Once I had everything organized in my new bed aka tree, which meant all my shit organized close to where my bedroll was and where I would retire for the night and Jerall neatly secured in a nearby tree, I stared at my things with my hands on my hips, thinking about what I learned in Bear Grylls' show about survival in the woods.
Building a fire should be a good idea…only if I knew how to build one. I know I need fuel, tinder and a spark, but I have neither. Not carrying cigarettes everywhere might have been my doom.
Forgive me Bear Grylls for I have sinned.
It might be too late to hunt for meat (not that I have a fire to cook it) and I honestly couldn't care less about eating healthy. I was just so tired… I leaned against the tree I chose to be my bed and just observed the sky change from red and orange to the dark black night's sky.
The stars were beautiful, and the two freaky moons as well. Soon enough I'd not be able to see anything, so I decided I'd have 'dinner' and head to sleep. Well, the closest thing to dinner I had was eating fruits and raw potatoes from my supply, and let me tell you I didn't expect raw potatoes to taste so shitty. But they offer vitamins and nutrients so yay me?
Despite wanting to murder the horse, I was even nice enough to toss a potato to him, "Here, foul beast."
Jerall neighed and didn't even nimble the potato. Can I really blame him?
I frowned, frustrated, "Have it your way, then."
With that, I made myself as comfortable as the wilderness allowed me to, and drifted off to an unpleasant sleep filled with- you guessed it- mozzarella cheese.
But hey at least Sheogorath didn't decide to show up and make me even more confused. Instead of the Lord of Weird Nightmares showing up, I had to wake up at some point during the night to throw up, because apparently those berries I ate were kinda nasty. Since I knew the nastiness indeed came from those berries, I somehow managed to throw away the rest of them I had picked up earlier. See kids, life advice, never eat random berries in forests, "Fuck my life!" I declared, to this video-game purgatory.
Honestly I have no idea how I managed to find the berries and throw them away, since I couldn't see anything because it was too dark.
I stayed up for a while after throwing up because I felt awful, and decided to try the red healing potion Shady Sam sold me. What is the worse that could happen? Me dying? Not that bad if you were to ask me.
Healing potions are supposed to heal, right?
I grabbed one, uncorked it and inhaled deeply.
It smelled like my favorite food ever: raspberry cheesecake. Shady Sam was right.
How I was able to identify the smell of something as specific as raspberry cheesecake? Good question.
I took a deep breath and sipped the potion.
Actually, the potion did taste like raspberry cheesecake, to my surprise. And I felt instantly well again to boot.
Has science gone too far? I thought to myself as I prepared to sleep once again.
I woke up the next day with the soft sunlight kissing my skin. It warmed my insides, and then I was grateful I didn't freeze to death during the night, which would've happened if we were in winter, but that's not the case here. I left home in January, and now it's not January.
I opened my eyes and found myself in the exact same position I had been when I fell asleep, with no signs of major events occurring while I slept. I stretched myself and looked around the camp, "I've had better sleeps," I commented. Jerall was secured in the same place I had left him, and my stuff was…
That was not the place where I left my shit.
I had four bags full of stuff, two I stole from the bandits and two the priors gave me. I had left them beside me before sleeping and now one of them was tied up in a branch of the oak tree above me. The one which had all my food.
"Fantastic." I eyed the bag with an eyebrow risen. "Why can't magical crap from this world leave me alone?"
I concluded that it couldn't possibly be Jerall who put those things up there (well duh he's a horse and he is tied up), which only meant that I wasn't alone.
A little wave of panic formed inside of me, and I decided to quickly get the hell out of this forest and into the road to Kvatch, towards Skingrad. Fuck the food, I can find more after.
I mentally listed some possibilities of what might have caused this inconvenience:
-Magical elves who live in the forest;
-Big foot;
-Aliens;
-The FBI;
-Killer beavers;
-I had weed?
Still groggy from sleeping, I stood up and took a good glance at the bag tied up on the branch. It was a bit too high for me to reach. And I am tall.
What the shit.
I jumped up and down, trying to get my things back, but I couldn't reach. I tried to reach it with my sword but I still couldn't.
I will not stress over this prank forest elves played on me. I've had enough stress for a short time span and stress is not good for my skin. I collected my bedroll and the other two bags I had left. Packed.
You know what, I'll leave this behind and leave. I can get new things when I arrive in Kvatch, assuming that Martin has things in his house…or rather…church.
I made my way to Jerall, untied his reigns and thought about how I would mount him again. I just settled with taking some impulse and jumping. I failed two times, not getting enough impulse, but when I was about to try for the third time, the horse stiffened and became agitated all of a sudden, "Woah there, foul beast. Just trying to continue our journey." I patted the horse's mane as gently as I could.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" A familiar voice called me from behind me.
I instantly jumped up in fright. Shit the FBI finally found out that I've been selling shady shit on Etsy. I turned around expecting an armed FBI official with a full suit to show up but instead (a pleasant surprise? Not really) the kid Legolas girl from yesterday when I almost died was standing there chillin', while holding my bag (the one that was tied up on the tree like two seconds ago), "Shit, kid!" I exclaimed, "Don't creep on people like that!" Honestly why do people like to creep on others in dark forests? I don't get it. Is it for drama? I am the drama queen here, bitches, "Stalking is not cool." I smirked, "It is quite the opposite, it's creepy as fuck."
The girl tossed the bag to me, which I could grab before it fell to the floor for a change. Amaya is now a master of reflexes, all shall fear and respect her. Kid Legolas took a step closer to me and I instantly took a step back, "I wasn't stalking. I simply ran into you."
"Ah ha, and I'm John Cena." I chuckled falsely. Kid Legolas raised an eyebrow, probably not knowing who the legend John Cena was, even if he is a dead meme, he will never die in my heart, "And I do believe you have absolutely nothing to do with why my shit was hanging on a tree branch?"
"I do not know what you are talking about," Kid Legolas shrugged. I know I should be more suspicious of people I ran into in forests but I was just plainly stupid, "You know Chorrol is that way, right?" She pointed at the direction I had come from. Why is she assuming I was going to Chorrol?
Oh yes, I asked information about how to get to Chorrol when I first encountered her in that mob overlord camp with the beefy man that almost killed me. Neat.
"Yes, I know very well that Chorrol is that way," I crossed my arms and leaned into Jerall, "But I'm not heading there. I'm heading to Kvatch now…" The girl- what was her name? A weird Galadriel kind of name…Glathel. I don't think it is a good idea to tell random kids in the forest that I am searching for Emperor Uriel Septim's lost bastard son, so I did what I am very good at, lying, "I'm on business. Going to meet a friend in Kvatch."
She apparently fell for my lie, sweet! Who am I fooling of course she did, "So now you're going to Kvatch?"
I nodded, "Yes,"
"Can I come with you?" The girl gingerly started to approach me, and I started to back away, clutching Jerall's reigns. Something about her almost convinced me that she was just like me, a frightened little girl. But the fact that she stalked me all the way from the Imperial City shoo-d that thought.
"Uh, no?" I smiled, making a negation sign with my free hand, "I prefer traveling alone and relying on my own survival skills."
Which are non-existing, but she doesn't have to know about that. Plus I don't think anyone else can put up with my bullshit. The freaking horse threw me off him because I was being weird.
"I see how that fared well." She laughed, smoothing her armor, which looked a lot like mine, "Being thrown by the 'foul beast' and not being able to light a fire. Very smart. I- or anything else really- could've easily killed you during the night."
Oh no she didn't. Is she trying to out-sass me?
"And I suppose you're the master of survival, Ms. Bear Grylls?"
"Bear? I'm not a bear…" She narrowed her eyes in confusion. Oh yes, I forgot she is a native of this weird world and doesn't know who Bear Grylls is. Such a pity, "I told you, I'm a Bosmer."
"Yeah, the little tree hugging elves that eat people." Okay that might have been kinda racist but in my defense I didn't know people took those things seriously, "Super rad."
In a blink of an eye, the girl somehow conjured a flame from her hand and threw (!?) it at my face, "Don't speak foul things about my people!"
Being the master of reflexes that I am, I ducked before I could get 3rd degree burns in my pretty face, and the flame thing hit a tree behind me. It was not a very strong flame, not strong enough to light a big bonfire, but I of course continued screaming, "Oh shit! Shit shit shit shit!" DID THIS KID JUST GO ALL HUMAN TORCH ON ME? BURN THE WITCH, "MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!" I cursed and cursed and cursed but didn't realize Jerall had broken loose from my gasp and ran away from the burning tree. I ignored everything else and turned to the direction that bloody horse galloped, "Jerall! COME BACK HERE, HORSE!"
Today, looking back, I wish I could be Jerall and just run away from my problems.
But at that time, though, I was just annoyed at the horse running away.
"JERALL!" No use obviously. I just watched powerless as my mean of transportation stode away to freedom.
However, I was not expecting the horse to suddenly stop, turn back and stride back to me. He even did as much as to gently 'hand' me his reigns (as much as a horse can 'hand in' things).
My eyes widened and I couldn't believe what had just happened. Seconds ago Jerall had gone wild and coward and he came back in a blink of an eye? I turned to the girl and she had a smile splattered on her childish face.
Did she- ? "Kid, are you an X-Men or something?"
The girl smoothed her armor and put out the remaining fire she had conjured with her feet, "You talk so funny!" She laughed. I frowned, putting my hands on my waist, feeling personally attacked, "Well, all Bosmer can command animals, and that is what I did to your horse. Commanded him to come back to you. If that is not a useful trait for a travelling companion I don't know what is." I nodded.
If I hadn't seen with my own eyes, I'd doubt all of this. But again, weird thinks happen all the time in this video game purgatory. I wondered, if that girl could conjure fire, could I conjure fire as well? We were in the same universe right now, and if it is a thing to go around burning crap I'd very much like to learn it. Might be useful. In the books it was not specified that certain races couldn't use magic at all, just that some had easier time learning than others, but even that didn't make sense because the girl was a Bosmer. According to the book, Bosmer have an easier time to learn sneaking abilities and not fucking magic.
I stared at her for a while, as she put out the remaining fire from the tree with her feet, "I'm sorry for that…I didn't mean to hurt you," she spoke, looking at the tree.
I of course, thought she was speaking to me, "It's cool, if you ignore the fact that you almost roasted me to death-" I waved a hand, like I often do when brushing something off.
But surprise surprise she wasn't talking to me, because she cut me off, "I wasn't talking to you." She embraced the trunk and left me with a puzzled look. See? Bosmer are tree-hugging hippy elves.
Do all Bosmer people are all like 'I'm the Lorax and I speak for the trees' kind of thing? Ew.
I felt personally attacked- again- and decided to ignore that awkward moment by asking a question, "That fire thing you conjured… and almost killed me… How'd you do it?"
She let go of the tree trunk and faced me once more, her brown eyes flashing, "You mean the Flare spell?"
"Yeah, the fire-thing where you almost turned me into barbecue!" I continued, as I secured my last bag on top of Jerall.
"It was a Flare spell."
"Is this…some magic thing?"
"It's magicka, if that's what you are asking."
"Can you teach me?" I asked, hopeful. Not a very good idea to ask random magic circus people how to do their tricks because good magicians never reveal them to the common folk. "This magicka thing?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because you need a spell book to learn the spell first."
"Where can I find one?"
"How am I supposed to know?" Her weird eyes made contact with mine, a hopeful look on her face, "You Imperials are odd. Don't you have Mages Guilds in all major cities and the Arcane University in the Imperial City?"
"Oh, of course I know about those! What kind of Imperial would I be if I didn't?" I said, brushing off the subject of me not knowing anything about this world. A voice inside my head kept telling me I should keep that girl around because she could be useful later on in my quest, not to mention having someone to talk to and do the dirty work sounds nice enough for me. The girl is a freaking X-Men! Who wouldn't want to have an X-Men with them? "You know what, kid, you can come with me. I can use the company." I made up my mind, mainly because I was tired of standing around and talking, and I really should get going.
The girl smiled so brightly I needed shades, "Really?" Unexpectedly, the girl rushed over and hugged me? I was expecting to be backstabbed but she just hugged me. She was so tiny that her head rested just bellow my boobs. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! I won't disappoint you!"
"Uhhh," I coughed awkwardly as I removed the Bosmer from me and cleared my throat. That was weird. "Come on, Kvatch is a long way from here."
However, even if I don't like a lot of 'touching', the kid seemed like she was harmless enough (if you don't count burning a tree, which I don't, because this world is crazy and I've seen things already), and having someone to talk to is a welcome feeling and the road to Kvatch is a very long one, might as well have a pep talk with a random animal controlling forest girl who could burn me at anytime. But yeah, there's nothing that could go wrong. My life is shitty already either way.
Some might say 'oh what a stupid decision to trust strangers', but hello everyone here trusts me for some reason even I can't understand.
This world is weird.
Glathel and I started walking, me holding Jerall's reigns as we walked, "Hey, kid, are you hungry?" I asked. "I've got a complete selection of raw vegetables, if you fancy those."
"I'm always hungry!"
Perhaps Glathel and I are more alike than what I originally thought. Which could either be a blessing or a curse. I was hoping it would be a blessing, because I've been cursed enough already.
Well, having a somewhat two-dimensional sidekick could be cool.
So that was chapter VII! I hope you guys enjoyed it! By the way I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed, followed or favorited this story so far! You guys mean a lot to me S2!
I felt like it would be so dull for Amaya to have only monologues whenever she is out in the wild that I decided I should treat her with a companion/sidekick to help her grow as a character and keep the road parts of this story fresh and interesting.
Next chapter features Amaya's first Oblivion Gate and it is THICC! Stay tuned!
