It took a lot of dragging, stumbling, and crawling but the two of them made it over to the picnic blanket. Five leafrodents stood next to it twitching their tails and watching the trolls expectantly. Tavros made a futile attempt at brushing the wet sand off his and Gamzee's pants and then the two of them crawled onto the blanket. Tavros was still hesitant about giving in to Gamzee's demand that he wear his sign and yet he didn't want to outright reject, so he folded his shirt and used it as a pillow when he lay on his back. Tavros held his arms out to Gamzee, who wrung his hands and chewed his lip before finally sprawling on top of his matesprit. After some maneuvering Gamzee was lying on Tavros at an angle that allowed him to pillow his head on the other man's shoulder without his horns posing a danger. Once they were settled the leafrodents pulled the second blanket over them. Tavros tugged it up around Gamzee's shoulders and then turned his eyes towards the pile of things beside them.
"Gamzee," he asked incredulously, "why do you have so much bread?"
When Tavros asked the leafrodents to bring him bread, he thought they would bring a loaf, maybe two. He didn't expect six polyvinyl bags filled with at least ten or twelve loaves as well as at least a couple dozen rolls.
"Mmph," Gamzee breathed against Tavros's chest. "Bake when'm stressed."
"Is it okay if they have some?"
Gamzee lifted his head and squinted at the gathered leafrodents, who wagged their flat tails. After a moment's contemplation he shrugged and flopped back down onto his matesprit.
Tavros sent the psychic okay and three of them started dragging bags back towards the cliff to share with the rest of their nest. The other two stayed to move things within Tavros's reach, starting with one of the bags of bread. Tavros fished out one of the smaller loafs and held it up behind Gamzee's back. He tore it in half and handed one part to the leafrodents. The other he tore into smaller pieces which he set on top of an empty bag. Once that was all prepared he held one of the pieces where Gamzee could see it.
"Could you eat something? Please?"
Gamzee huffed as if irritated, but he reached over and took the offered morsel. After glaring at the bread for a moment he ate it.
They passed their time in silence for a while, Tavros handing over the chunks and making sure his matesprit ate them. He hoped that the bread would soak up whatever slime was left and slow down how fast it was being absorbed. When all the pieces were gone Tavros felt Gamzee's pulse and was relieved to find that it had slowed considerably.
"Okay, Gamzee," he said, "we're just going to wait this out here. Does that sound good to you?"
Gamzee nodded and his horn tapped the side of Tavros's head. "Mph, sorry," he mumbled guiltily.
"It's okay," Tavros soothed, "you only barely touched me, and besides, I've got a pretty tough skull."
"No... sorry 'bout this muzzerfuckin' mess I'm all up in bein'. S'no good."
Tavros hugged him tight. "How long have you been strong for me? Just let me return the favor, okay?"
Gamzee shook his head and kissed Tavros's chest. "I dunno."
"You already said that you would let it out."
"I muzzerfuckin' dunno!" Gamzee propped himself up so he could glare at Tavros. "Why're you so okay with this? After what... after what those fuckin' bastards did t'you..."
"Gamzee, it's okay."
"No, it's muzzerfuckin' not okay."
Tavros sighed and cupped Gamzee's cheek and rubbed his thumb along his matesprit's bottom lip.
"Mph, stop makin' m'think pan all fuzzy."
"Then you stop arguing with me. It's okay. I'm okay. Doing this is keeping everyone safe, well, safer. That's worth everything that happened yesterday."
Gamzee shook his head. "Maybe this's why I've gotta be all hatin' those bastards so much. You're too fuckin' nice to do it."
"I hate them too," Tavros replied. Gamzee was momentarily stunned by the venom in his matesprit's voice. "I can't wait for Feferi to take the throne and change all this. But, until then, this is the best we can do."
"You deserve better," Gamzee said. He settled back down with his head resting on Tavros's shoulder. "Deserve so much muzzerfuckin' better than this."
"You deserve better than this, too."
Gamzee laughed and planted a kiss on Tavros's collarbone. "Have you, babe. S'already more than I fuckin' deserve."
Tavros went pleasantly warm from head to toe. "N-no, I'm the lucky one."
"One a these days I'm gonna get you believin' the muzzerfuckin' truth." Gamzee squeezed Tavros tight. "You make me better. You're the best thing has ever happened to me. And... and those fuckin' bastards treated you like... like..."
Tavros could feel the hot tears on his chest. "It's okay. I love you and I'm right here."
"... Tav... oh, Tav..."
Gamzee didn't say much after that, and what he did say was too muffled and broken to make out. He sobbed into Tavros's chest while his matesprit held him close and whispered soothing nothings. It didn't last for long; from how quickly Gamzee dropped off Tavros doubted he slept much, if any, the day before.
Once he was sure that Gamzee was asleep, Tavros sent another series of requests to the one remaining leafrodent. First he asked it to bring over the portable medical scanner that Gamzee received from a business partner; she owned the factory that made the scanners and Gamzee owned the factory that produced the refraction crystals used in the devices. Up until then the scanner had merely sat on display—that is, buried under a pile of socks—but if there was ever a time to use it this was it.
Tavros pressed the device to Gamzee's neck and tried to remember the sequence of buttons he needed. Gamzee only showed him how to use it once, and even then not very well. After some trial and error Tavros came up with the relevant numbers. Of course, he still didn't know what the numbers meant.
Another short psychic request later and Gamzee's husktop was on the blanket beside them. Using it was pretty much impossible in their current position since Tavros couldn't turn his head far enough to see the screen. He warred with himself for a minute before slowly and carefully shifting Gamzee onto his back. Gamzee twitched and groaned but he didn't wake up. Tavros rolled onto his stomach and draped an arm across Gamzee's chest while he used his free hand to drag the husktop around.
"How do you type one-handed all the time?" Tavros asked as he awkwardly entered keywords into a search engine. Gamzee mumbled something that might have been an answer and then reached up to hug Tavros's arm.
While it was a clumsy position Tavros found a way to make it work, and before long he found a page that helped him decode the scanner's readings. After a few misses he found a government sponsored and therefore reliable site that listed the symptoms and treatments for a few thousand maladies and conditions, from wakening psychic abilities to sopor overdose. Tavros nearly face planted into the keyboard with relief when he finished reading the list of symptoms; Gamzee wasn't showing the signs of a deadly overdose. Tavros was also relieved to see that 'culling' wasn't listed as a treatment; the cures were listed were likely to actually do some good.
According to the information on the site Gamzee was in the moderate but not particularly dangerous bracket, the one with a racing heart and clammy skin. Tavros and Gamzee's combined instincts were right on how to deal with it too; the site said that the first step for treating that level of overdose was to induce vomiting and the second was keeping the patient warm. It also said that he needed to make sure Gamzee stayed hydrated and Tavros had a moment of blind panic as he wondered if the bread did more harm than good. With difficulty he managed to calm himself down and he decided that the best thing to do would be to make sure Gamzee drank a glass of water as soon as he was conscious enough to do so. If Gamzee could make it back to the hive then they'd do that, if not then Tavros would have the leafrodents bring some water back to the beach. The only other thing he could do is wait for it to clear Gamzee's system.
When the knot of tension in Tavros's chest finally unraveled the exhaustion hit him like an avalanche. He pushed the husktop away and buried his face in the crook of his arm as he wondered how he was able to ignore how much his neck hurt. He felt the bandage and immediately regretted it; the mark burned. The burst of pain was making his pulse race and that made the self-inflicted bites on his lip and tongue throb. Tavros was feeling terrible in general, and then looking at the husktop he remembered that it was going to get a lot worse...
Tavros typed a new address into the browser. It was a site he'd spent a lot of time on the past perigee, ever since Aradia unintentionally gave him the idea to become a willing slave. It was the government site dedicated to videos of all public legal affairs, from trials and hangings to major business contracts to slave ceremonies. He skimmed the list of names on recent updated and sure enough Gamzee Makara takes willing slave Tavros Nitram went up on the site less than an hour before.
Soon Sollux would be hearing a ding from his watchgrub program, if he hadn't already. He wrote the program to notify him if any of their names came up on search warrants or culling notices... once Sollux realized that their names were in the slave registry it wouldn't take him a second to find the page Tavros was staring at.
It was such a delicate situation. Tavros's enslavement had to be handled the right way or else it would all be for nothing. It wouldn't save him, it wouldn't change Gamzee's reputation, and it wouldn't keep the others safe. Of course, an indigoblood making a break with the gutterbloods he once associated with wouldn't talk to them about his 'acquisition'. If Tavros was being forced to give up his sign then he wouldn't want his friends to know his shame. If they didn't love each other then neither one would want to tell the others.
So they didn't.
Gamzee had set Trollian to run invisibly, so even though Tavros was staring at the contact list he shared with his matesprit no messages were popping up. The icon for twinArmageddons was still ghosted out and there was no telling when Sollux would be back at his husktop. No telling how long it would be until he told the others what had happened.
Tavros put it out of his mind. It wasn't as though they could go back and undo this. The video was in the public archive and it was going to stay there where anyone could see it. They would all be able to watch him crawl naked across the floor while the audience all laughed and jeered.
He blinked back tears. Tavros reminded himself that it was his turn to be strong for his matesprit. He looked over at Gamzee, who was still hugging his arm, and in spite of everything he couldn't help but laugh softly. Even with the big dark circles of the eye makeup and the tearstained cheeks, Gamzee was still beautiful. Tavros propped his head on his hand and watched his matesprit sleep, secure in the knowledge that whatever life threw at them, they would be together.
Tavros stayed like that for a while, just watching the gentle rise and fall of Gamzee's chest and occasionally checking his vitals. He lost track of time and for a while it was almost pleasant. Then the husktop chimed, indicating Trollian was receiving a new message. While Tavros lay there trying very hard not to look at the screen, three more chimes followed the first in rapid succession. Tavros imagined that the familiar tones sounded angry.
With a heavy sigh he looked at the screen.
The first message was from Karkat. Even though the alert sounded less than a minute ago there was already a wall of maroon text filling the window.
– carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] –
CG: I WISH I COULD HAVE A NICE PLEASANT CHAT WITH MY PAST SELF ABOUT THIS.
CG: JUST SIT THERE AND SHOOT THE FUCKING BREEZE WITH THAT MISERABLE SHITSTAIN.
CG: THE FIRST THING ON THE TEMPORAL AGENDA WOULD BE TELLING HIM TO STOP WHINING ABOUT HOW YOU WERE ALWAYS GOING ON ABOUT HOW FUCKING BEAUTIFUL THE CARPET IS.
CG: WHILE YOU GROPED YOUR SHITTY HORNS AND WENT AROUND BEING A USELESS FUCK.
CG: THEN PAST ME THOUGHT IT WAS TWELFTH PERIGEE EVE WHEN YOU STOPPED WITH THE FUCKING PIES AND STARED ACTING LIKE A NORMAL TROLL WITH A THINK PAN THAT WASN'T FUCKING RUSTED OUT.
CG: PAST ME WAS TOO MUCH OF A NOOK WHIFFING GRUB TO REALIZE THAT, WHILE THE HONKS AND THE CLOWN BULLSHIT WERE PRETTY GOD DAMN ANNOYING, PAST GAMZEE HAD NOTHING ON THE COMPLETE FUCKING ASSHOLE HE WAS GOING TO BE.
CG: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'VE WON THE SUPREME HIGHBLOOD DOUCHEBAGGERY AWARD.
CG: WAIT, FUCK.
CG: YOU REMEMBERED YOU'RE A FUCKING INDIGOBLOOD.
CG: SHIT, I
– carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] –
Tavros rubbed his cheek and looked back over at Gamzee. He didn't know how his matesprit would handle this. Not the swearing and insults—that was completely normal—but the fact that Karkat was scared of him.
With rising dread Tavros clicked to the next tab.
– arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] –
AC: :33 *ac flexes her sharp claws and advances on her purrey*
AC: :33 *she bares her t33th and hisses*
AC: :33 *and
AC: no
AC: i cant
AC: gamzee why
Tavros quickly moved to the next tab and rubbed his eyes. He wanted so much to tell Nepeta it was okay but he just couldn't. It wouldn't look right. In theory he was being broken and trained and only after that would be allowed to use Trollian again. So no matter how much he wanted to comfort Nepeta he couldn't.
He wondered if he should talk to her even after he 'earned' his Trollian privileges. Nepeta's relationship with Equius elevated her status and that allowed her to get a job she loved working on a plantation not far from her old mountain hive. Her bosses might frown upon her talking to a brownblooded slave.
Tavros hated the thought that he could hurt his friends just by being their friends.
– gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] –
GC: 1 DONT C4R3 TH4T 1TS L3G4L
GC: W3R3 THROUGH
– gallowsCalibrator [GC] blocked terminallyCapricious [TC] –
He pressed his face into the blanket and tried to shut it all out. The only reason they hated Gamzee is because he was trying to save his matesprit. Tavros tried to tell himself that once they could get the word to their friends personally then they would understand and that it would all be okay. The sentiment rang hollow even inside his own head.
Tavros looked at his matesprit and warred with himself before finally deciding that Gamzee did not need to see this. He changed the settings so that Trollian wouldn't accept offline messages and deleted all the chat logs for that night. Then Tavros snapped the husktop shut and pushed it away. He didn't want to deal with the world. He just wanted it all to go away.
Gamzee came around for a few minutes, not really awake but he was aware enough to want to be closer to Tavros. They moved back into their previous position and soon enough Gamzee was once again asleep on Tavros's chest.
