((Edited: 10/17/11))

Thanks to everyone who faved, alerted or reviewed this story! You make me feel all warm and squishy, ^_^

akitty: hehe, I'm on a roll tonight. Here is another post. Shorter, but it's kind of a transitional chapter. And thank you. And, what would be the point of having him live four spate lives and having them all be the same? Then it'd be easy to change the way things happened…-smiles-

reader713: Oh yes, Aerith will be in this story. So will other minor/major characters. But Aerith will not have any true memory of Cloud, but due to her connection to the Lifestream, yes, she would naturally know that there is something weird about him.

Moka-girl: True, he could, couldn't he? A photographic memory would only explain so much though… But I am glad for your input. It gives me something to consider.

Sin of the Fallen: Hehe, keep commenting, I'll keep replying. You can't possibly understand how much having a person constantly offer their input on my story is to me. I do value your support and as long as you give it, I'll continue to mention you in my 'notes. Anyways, yes, that is why Cloudy must have constant mood swings and migraines. He has déjà vu from hell…er, Gaia, I

LiliMochi: Well, you didn't have to wait long, now did yah? Hehe. And thanks. I always worry about how certain things will turn out, 'specially things like fight scenes or romantic ones. But by putting myself out of my comfort zone, I grow. Thanks for liking this story.

I am open to constructive criticism, advice and suggestions.

Also, I will do my best to keep all characters as in-character as possible. Some discrepancies in behavior (and appearance) will occur, but for the most part, there will be a reason and an explanation. If you feel that I am being horribly OOC, please, I encourage you to tell me. I love feedback because it makes me a better writer in the end (and it usually makes me want to write more).

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII in its entirety do not belong to me but to Square Equinox. To quote another writer: "These are not my toys; I'm just abusing them…"

Rating (chapter): PG-13

Word Count: 3,573

Summary: The first thing on Cloud Strife's mind when he woke was Not Again. Reliving the past once was hard enough, but doing everything again for a fourth time…Refusing to believe that he is trapped in a cycle of endless death and re-birth, Cloud decides to do whatever he can to stop the future he knows from happening. Along the way, he finds himself tangled up with the man he could not help but think was beautiful but learned to hate. Sephiroth was always part of the problem, but could Cloud turn the General into the solution? Time Travel fic/AU.

Fourth Time's the Charm
by Catsitta

((Chapter beta: Meggurra))

"Nothing lasts forever—not even your troubles."—Arnold H. Glasow

Chapter seven: Numb

Cloud could not tell if he wanted to cry or if he wanted to smash something to pieces.

His eyes burned and his whole body shook from restraining his frustration. Everything that could go wrong had gone wrong today! First Zack found his homework, then proceeded to lecture Cloud on trust, next Sephiroth showed up and with him came a damn vision, and to wrap this crappy day up in a nice little package, some idiots assaulted him when he came out of the shower, which came with another blasted vision.

It was infuriating!

Staring down at his feet, Cloud watched as the pink-tinged water swirled away down the drain. It was a mixture of his blood and that of those boys, who though it would be fun to assault the weak, little, runt of the litter. Well, he was not weak. His body was frail and lacked the strength of his last life, but his mind was keen and recalled every fight he'd ever been in. Survival was something even fifteen-year-old Cloud had always excelled at. Just, this time around he had a better idea of the "how" behind surviving.

He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Those boys never knew who they were messing with. They had stood no chance what so ever. Outnumbered and out muscled, Cloud was the underdog in every aspect except experience level. He knew what it took to take down bigger foes and especially foes that decided to attack with a "pack" behind them.

First you took down their leader then everything else falls apart.

Pain. Suffering. Sorrow.

Gaia could feel his conflict. He could hear her whispers and feel her pull through the entire fight. She assailed him with visions so real and feelings so overpowering that he could not control himself. He just…snapped. Cloud bit hard on his lower lip.

Hero. Champion. Savior.

No. Those were not the words that Cloud found as he tried to understand what came over him earlier.

Pawn. Puppet. Toy.

Yes. That was how he felt. He shouted those words back at Gaia with all the strength he could muster within his mind. Cloud refused to be anyone's plaything again, Planet or no. He was done being anyone's pawn. He did not want to be a hero. He just wanted to rest.

Cloud pressed his forehead against the shower wall, the spray no longer hot, and he slid down to the floor. He was alone now. Completely alone with his misery and his anger. Why did it have to be him going through all this? He was just one person. One kid that happened to grow up into the only man who ever matched Sephiroth in battle.

He clenched his eyes tighter, just hoping that he would wake up and this would all be some fever-induced delusion. Instead, images flicked behind his eyelids, forcing him to recognize Gaia's influence in his mind.

Cloud jogged around the track, panting, aching, just wanting nothing more than to stop. Zack stood nearby, shouting at him that he was pathetic and that he was not going to forgive Cloud until he finished his laps. He shouted a few choice words of his own back at the raven-haired First.

The exchange continued for a good while longer until he saw Sephiroth emerge from the shadows.

At first, Cloud could only admire the sheer majesty that simply oozed off the man. Silver hair gleaming in the light, mako eyes radiant, leather clad form tall and powerful. Like an angel among men, untouchable, intangible, distant but so very, very real. For a moment, Cloud wished that for once, just once, he could be something other than an enemy to the man. A friend, perhaps…A lover.

Shame filled his chest. It was the essence of wrongness to want the man in that way. Even if Cloud could stop him from going insane and get the General to notice him as something other than an interesting annoyance…there were too many other factors in their way. Age. Rank. Hell, he was not even sure if Sephiroth was interested in men or not. The only sexuality he had ever noticed the General ever displaying was in his third life when Sephiroth was a SHE.

Then the silver warrior had certainly liked men…or least a man. She was very territorial about Zack, even going as far as to corner Cloud and threatening to cut him to bits with Masamune should her lover ever stray.

Okay…bad thoughts. Thinking about Sephiroth was just a bad idea period. But…

The silver warrior just kept getting closer, looking so divine, so…handsome.

He swallowed.

Zack said something…Cloud took a step backwards away from his onetime idol. He had to get away. He just had to. Panic made his heart race. Gaia shouted in his ears. Calamity. Death. Steel.

"…we are all friends here…" Wait, had Zack just said that? Cloud let his focus fall away from Sephiroth to gape at his mentor. No. No. No. He had to get away now. This was too much. He was not exactly sure why he felt so frightened, but he knew that he had to get away from it all. Clamping his eyes shut, Cloud ran.

He did not stop running until he hit the door leading to the locker room. Breathing heavily, chest aching, Cloud pushed his way in and ignored the stares of the other cadets. All he wanted was a hot shower to clear away all the confusion and the hurt.

Stripping, uncaring of who saw, Cloud made his way to the communal showers. In his first life, he had been nervous about bathing with others around him. It was a taboo thing to do back in Nibelheim. Men just did not bathe together, end of story. But after all he went through in his following lives, modesty flew out the window. There was no point in being shy about his body.

Tossing his clothes onto a nearby bench and grabbing a clean towel from the rack, he entered the shower. Cloud threw the towel over a handrail and turned the dial on HOT. Cold water poured over him but soon enough the spray became steaming. The pain was numbing and relaxing. It washed away the guilt and the anger and the sorrow. It calmed Gaia's voice.

After mulling about in the shower until the water became tepid, Cloud turned the water off and grabbed his towel. Wrapping about his waist, he prepared to change into his clothes and head back to the barracks. Only, he was stopped.

"So, the pretty little whore finally decided to grace the rest of us lowly recruits with his presence." The insult was spat by no one other than Chad Darwin, bully and Cloud's least favorite roommate.

"I was in the hospital wing," Cloud offered with a shrug.

A couple other brutes came into view.

"Yeah right. We all know that you are being mentored by Zack Fair, First Class SOLDIER. Why else would he even bother looking at you if you weren't a good fuck?" Chad snarled, looping his fingers in the front of Cloud's towel. "You're nothing but a little slut, Strife. Admit it. You're too weak to be a SOLDIER."

Cloud slapped Chad's offending hand away and took a step back, only to find another body blocking his way. He turned, but in his moment of distraction, Chad grabbed him and shoved him towards one of the other brutes that suddenly appeared.

He twisted and tried to get away, only to find himself colliding with an elbow or a fist. Before he knew what was going on, he was being thrown around between the bullies like a doll. Blood trickled from his newfound injuries. It was not until someone wrenched Cloud's wrist that he even let out a single noise, and that was more due to surprise than pain.

Suddenly, Chad grabbed him up by his throat and slammed him against the wall, sliding him upwards until Cloud's feet dangled above the floor.

"Think you're better than us, slut?" The brute growled, tightening his chokehold.

Cloud felt anger fill his body. Burning. Hot. Hateful.

"Not even a week into training and you're already trying to fuck your way up in the ranks."

That was it. He lost it and images of fighting against entire enemy troops flashed before is eyes, disguising the bullies as capable foes out to kill him. In a blur of red and desperation, Cloud did all he could to win the battle. He was no longer a fifteen-year-old boy; he was Cloud Strife, SOLDIER First Class…at least, inside his mind.

Next thing he knew, blood was everywhere. On him, the walls, the floor. And there was Zack, shouting…looking angry and appalled.

"Yes, I understand," Cloud groaned. "Please, just stop torturing me. Just stop. Gaia…just stop…" Gaia did not answer. She remained silent, apparently indifferent to the pain she was causing her hero. Curling up into a ball on the floor, Cloud let himself cry. That was how Reno found him ten minutes later.

000X000

Zack paced in the First Class gym. Neither Sephiroth nor Cloud had shown up yet and Zack was beginning to get anxious.

As the feelings of frustration grew, the First began to take his stress out on a well-meaning practice dummy. By the time he was through hacking at it with his Buster Sword, the poor thing was nothing more than a pile of scrap wood and bits of cloth. Breathing heavily, he lowered the enormous blade and stared at the remains of his wooden victim.

He did not notice the door open and a lone figure walk in slowly.

"You have not destroyed ShinRa property for a while, Zackary…I'm disappointed by your regression."

Whirling around, Zack realized exactly how close Sephiroth had come before saying anything.

"Ahaha, I hope that was a joke…" Zack said only half joking; it was always hard to tell when Sephiroth was trying to be humorous and when he was simply being critically serious.

"It was."

"G-good…Good…" Zack stuttered as he ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

The two SOLDIER's watched each other for a while in silence. The tension between them broke when Zack reached out and wrapped his arms around Sephiroth's waist. The silver haired warrior needed more hugs anyway and Zack really needed reassurance…human contact. Angeal always used to hold him whenever he was too shaken up. Heck, when his mentor was…lost, Sephiroth even offered a comforting hand, oddly aware of how such physical gestures affected the puppy.

Soon, gentle fingers combed through Zack's hair.

"I heard there was an upset in the locker room today, not too long ago." Sephiroth began.

The raven-haired First nodded.

"A particular blond cadet was involved…" Sephiroth continued.

Zack remained silent.

"…Reports say that he was assaulted after leaving the shower…at which point he defended himself from his assailants, five boys…each larger and stronger..."

Again, Zack nodded.

"One has a concussion and a cracked skull. The second has a badly broken arm, which may never heal right because it was a spiral fracture. Another has a broken ankle and several torn ligaments, as well as a serious chance of disfigurement from his facial wounds. And a fourth has extensive damage to his…" the General paused, "private parts."

The two men were silent for a moment, both deep in thought.

"Tell me Zackary, how is it possible for a single, untrained cadet to accomplish something like that?"

"I-I don't know. I didn't teach him any of that stuff. Heck, I've only gotten around to increasing his cardio…" Stepping away from Sephiroth, Zack began to pace.

"I did not suspect that you had any involvement in Strife's abilities. I'm simply curious as to what else your student has secreted away from the rest of the world. First the ability to disassociate, now the ability to fight off five enemies without any kind of apparent training…nothing adds up about this cadet."

"What do you expect me to do, Seph? Threaten the kid for all his secrets. That would just freak him out and make him even less responsive than he already is." Zack stopped his pacing to stare at Sephiroth.

Sephiroth tilted his head and gave a rare smile.

"Truly Zackary? Do you not know how to whittle your way into the cadet's heart and mind? Even I know how to do that much…" Zack blinked in surprise, "despite my apparent lack of empathy in such matters. Why do you not simply approach this how you would if it were me? You've compared the cadet to myself on more than one occasion. It could work."

Zack quirked a brow at his friend. Sephiroth was right! Man, how could he have been so dense?

"Right, dinner, a couple late night movie sessions. Some regular sparring time…" he paused, "Wait…that would not work. Cloud can't use a sword."

"You assume he can't." Sephiroth supplied.

"Riiiight. Man, Seph, you're on a roll, aren't cha?"

The silver General shrugged, "Most things have a logical explanation behind them. For what you are not certain of, there is always trial and error." He glanced casually at his glove, as if to examine it. "But for what you are certain of, simply approach it as logic dictates that you should."

Smiling again, Zack drew the Buster sword off his back.

"Spar?"

Sephiroth chuckled, "I was wondering when you were going to ask."

000X000

Cloud did not speak, or really even move as Reno turned off the water and knelt beside him. The redhead did not try to touch him. He simply watched and waited. After a minute or so of simply observing the blond, Reno let out a disappointed sigh and said, "You look like shit, yo."

No response.

"C'mon Cloudy-boy, you have to get up and pull yourself together, yo. No one but you can do that. Now get up and stop feelin' sorry for yourself. I aint gunna let you stay here." He told Cloud flatly. Yet, even then, the blond showed little inclination towards moving. His eyes were clamped shut and he was curled up tightly into a fetal position. "I know that fight got yah all messed up in the head, kid, but yah can't let it keep messin' with yah. Otherwise…well, you don't wanna know otherwise."

Reno reached out at last and lightly set a hand on the blond's arm. His skin was clammy and very cold. He blinked and gave the blond's arm a good pinch. No response.

"Shit!" The redhead cried before shaking Cloud as hard as he could. "Wake-up kid. I said wake the fuck up."

"W-why do you care, Reno?" Came a slow, ragged groan. Reno blinked and saw that Cloud's eyes were open but hazy. "S'not like we're friends or anythin'."

Shaking his head in disbelief, the red haired cadet wrapped his arms around the smaller male and pulled him to his feet. "Friends or not, yo, I can't just let you give up like that. I've been there, kid. I've been surrounded and beaten an inch away from death and left in the street. I know how it feels to be afraid…but I know what it's like to actually feel real suffering…real pain. You don't kid. You haven't seen what I've seen and this aint even close. So pull your damn self together, yo, and never scare me like that again. I thought you were…"

"Dead…?"

"Yeah…"

Cloud laughed. It was somewhat creepy actually.

"What's so funny, yo?"

"This whole thing, you and me. And the lack of sex jokes. Where are the sex jokes?" Cloud laughed again. The kid was seriously creeping Reno out a little. "No? Nothing? Then can you get my clothes so I can change."

"You need to go to the hospital, Cloud."

"Nah, m'been through worse. This ain't nothing." Again Cloud gave that kind of creepy laugh. Cloud slipped free from Reno's hands and stumbled towards his belongings. There was something serious wrong here. The Cloud Reno met on the running tracks was a bit of an airhead and quiet; this kid was just plain weird and a little creepy.

Wait…how was Cloud walking?

Reno momentarily stared at the various marks that lines most of the blond's body. Angry red marks scored his pale back, arms and legs. Bruises, nasty ones, littered Cloud's entire body from his calves to his likely pretty face. The kid really needed medical treatment, even if it was just first aid.

It took a while, but Cloud did manage to struggle back into his uniform. By which point, Reno was prepared to do what he had to, to get the blond to the hospital.

"Why are you still here, Reno?" Cloud quietly asked.

"Pardon?" The redhead followed Cloud as the boy made his way towards the exit.

"Rather, why were you here at all? It's not like we're friends."

Reno smacked Cloud across the back of that spiky head of his.

"Friends or not, I'm here. And you're stuck with me until you get help."

"Then I guess you want to watch me get yelled at by my mentor?" Cloud said sarcastically.

"No, I want you to get help…I'll talk to Lieutenant Fair. The bastard should have known better than to do what he did."

"Huh?"

The redhead rolled his eyes, "He alienated you from the rest of us, yo. It's no wonder those thugs wanted to bruise your pretty ass. If he hadn't, then you would not be going to the hospital now."

Cloud snorted, "I'm not going to the hospital. I'm going to get yelled at then move on with my life."

Reno narrowed his eyes. Man the kid was stubborn as hell. Even after another good seven minutes of trying to persuade, threatening and whatever else he could think of using to convince Cloud to get help, the kid still ignored his efforts. Next thing he knew, they were both standing outside of the First Class gym.

"What the fuck are we doing here?"

"I don't know why you're here. But I'm here because that is where Zack told me to be after I was done cleaning up."

Then, Cloud proceeded to push open the doors and walk inside, leaving Reno alone and feeling completely confused.

000X000

"Is that all you got, Seph?" Zack shouted as he danced away from Masamune. The General only smirked and took a slow step forwards, flicking his katana lazily towards the SOLDIER's chest. Though, his slow and lazy was like most First Class's fast and serious.

Zack scampered around him, the clumsy weapon in his hand barely deflecting the silver warrior's strikes. The raven-haired male was certainly talented, but far from the level that Angeal had been at his zenith of vitality and strength.

Deciding that the duel had gone on long enough, Sephiroth yawned.

"Huh?" The puppy sounded so confused.

Feigning boredom, the silver General lowered Masamune.

"Hey, what gives?" Now the puppy was yapping at him, sounding insulted.

Suddenly, in a flash of silver and black, Sephiroth rushed forwards, catching the Buster sword with Masamune and swiftly disarming the SOLDIER, sending the bigger blade skittering across the floor.

"You still have much to learn, Zack. Never let your guard down around an opponent lest he seize the opportunity to cut your throat out." To emphasize, the silver-haired warrior pressed Masamune's tip against the SOLDIER's adam's apple.

"Sheesh, I'll take that to heart, seriously Seph, could you please put that down, you're making me nervous."

Sephiroth chuckled and lowered his weapon.

"Hey, spiky, how long have you been standing there?" Zack suddenly yapped happily, causing the silver General to glance towards the door. There stood an even more broken looking cadet Strife, damp spikes almost flat against his scalp, and an ugly gash marking his upper lip. It really was a crime for such a pretty creature to be bruised up like that…Wait…huh?

Zack bounced over to his charge and swept the blond up into his arms.

"Are you okay, Cloud? Please tell me you're okay."

The cadet stared over his mentor's shoulder and blue eyes again met those of mako green. There was a different kind of brokenness inside those pools that Sephiroth was disturbed to see.

"I'm fine, Zack." Liar. "Just a little bruised up…the others are worse off than I am…" Strife rested is chin on the shoulder he was pressed against. "So when is the yelling going to start?"

"Never," the First replied, "I'm just glad you're here."

"Why?"

"Because, I wanted to invite my two best friends over to my place for pizza tonight…Whaddya say? Seph?"

Strife closed his eyes but did not answer.

"Strife, are you going to answer the question?"

"Cloud…" the cadet whispered, "Call me Cloud, sir. That is, if you are going to come too. If not…"

"Of course I'm attending. Zackary would chase me down and drag me to his room if I were to refuse…He's done so before, except, it involved wrecking my office and threatening to assault someone I knew was a Turk…"

"Pffft, whatever." Zack said with a roll of his eyes.

Strife..er…Cloud, smiled and wrapped his arms around Zack's neck. "Hmm, dinner with the General and his second-in-command. How'd I ever get so lucky?" Sephiroth tilted his head. Something in Cloud tone bothered him. Then, he noted a change in breathing.

Cloud was asleep.

A/N: Review my pretties, review. Then you get multiple chapters a night, like this. xD or give me ideas. I'm always open to new ideas. And if anyone thinks this story is being a little slow, just wait another chapter or two. Thing's will speed up. Just…in a angsty way. More than likely. –shiftyeyes