Thanks, mdelpin, for another review.
Just to make it clear, Natsu didn't use all of his power. Using magic takes it toll on the body, and his body just couldn't take anymore. It's his body that 'failed' not his magic.
Enjoy!
Chapter 7: A Party for the New S-class Wizards
The morning came and Natsu was the first one to wake. The raven-haired boy slept rather closely to him, which surprised him, but he didn't mind it. The fire mage watched the ice-make wizard's relaxed face as he slept. He would never admit it, but he rather liked the feel of the ice princess next to him. The cold that radiated from him made the fire mage shiver, but it also filled him with a sense of security he didn't feel from anything or anyone else. He loved the smell that he started to associate with Gray. The smell of snow-covered pine trees reminded him of the fun they had during winter as kids. The snow fights, the brawls in the snow, the hot cocoa they drank in the guild afterwards, and the happy smiles on everyone's faces.
He knew what he was feeling. When the ice-make wizard tried to sacrifice himself during the invasion, when he tried to use Ice Shell to seal Zeref in it, the fire mage learned what his feeling for the raven-haired boy really were. He wanted to tell his friend more than anything. Even if his friend would hate him afterwards, he had to tell him soon. Had he not been such a mess for the last few weeks, he would have told him already.
But how could he tell him now? Gray did everything he could to get him out of the shell he built around himself. If he told him now, Natsu was sure his friend would say whatever he thought the dragon slayer wanted to hear. He was Salamander's friend after all, and it must have hurt the raven-haired boy to see his pink-haired friend suffer like that. He wouldn't allow the fire mage to build another shell around himself, even if it meant doing something he wouldn't like. And that's not what Natsu wanted. So he would wait for the droopy-eyes to know that he will be alright, whatever his answer was.
What he could do for now, was thank his friend for the way he took care of him last night. He quietly got out of the sleeping bag, and went outside. Once he was outside, he stretched before picking one direction and heading there. As he reached a forest, he began looking for an animal scent. He walked around until he picked up a boar's scent. He caught it in no time and brought it back to the entrance of the guildhall, but he didn't enter. He built a fire outside, skinned and cleaned the boar and started to roast it.
As the boar was slowly roasting, he quietly took their water bottles from inside and went to the nearby river to refill them. This must be where Gray fished yesterday, the fire mage thought. Returning back to the fire he built, he didn't went inside, not wanting to wake his friend up. He sat at the entrance so he could check on the boar every once in a while, while he spent most of his time just watching the raven-haired boy sleep.
After he judged that the boar was ready, he stood up and went to it, taking it off the fire. He prepared their lunch (they were really tired if they slept this long) and was about to head inside to wake the ice-make wizard, when Gray came out.
"Good morning, flame-brain.", the ice-make wizard said, stretching.
"I think it's afternoon, but whatever.", the fire mage answered, a huge grin on his face, before adding, "Good morning. Did my princess sleep well?"
Gray looked at him with a raised eyebrow and an odd expression on his face. "Your princess?", he asked, looking more amused than angry.
Shit, Natsu thought, it just slipped out. "Yea, cause you're an ice princess.", he answered, trying to get out of the hole he dug up under himself. The ice-make wizard looked a little hurt by that comment (and was that disappointment the dragon slayer saw on his face?), but the fire mage was glad he got out of it. He wanted to tell his friend the truth, wanted to tell him more than anything, but this wasn't the time, so he would keep his mouth shut.
"I caught and cooked us some food.", he said, changing the topic.
The raven-haired boy laughed. "Some food, he says. You could feed half of Fairy Tail with that boar."
"Well, I eat as much as half a guild, so no meat will be wasted.", Natsu answered, looking serious as only he could when the conversation was about food. It wasn't long before his grin returned to his face, and he sank his sharp fangs into boar meat, Gray soon joining him.
They ate in silence, filling their stomachs, until, just like the fire mage predicted, no meat was left. Talking about trivial things for another half an hour, letting the food in their stomachs settle, the dragon slayer watched what he was saying, making sure no other revealing comment came out of his mouth, like it did before. After that, they got ready and set a quick pace out of the forest, towards the village they came here from.
The next few days went by in a blur. There were no monsters, no one attacked them, no one stopped them. They didn't even see anyone. Gray spent the long walk back either in his thoughts, or talking to Natsu. He was trying to think of the way to get the fire mage to thank him for what he had done for him. Not that he needed or wanted the dragon slayer's thanks. He just wanted to tell him his feelings. He couldn't keep this secret anymore.
Just yesterday, after his friend ate, he waited for him to fall asleep, just so he could move his sleeping bag closer. Something about the heat that felt like it would burn his skin off radiating from the pink-haired boy's body screamed "Safety!" in his mind. The way he smelled like campfire, only hundreds of times better, reminded him of the best days of his life. As that smelled filled his nostrils, he could forget about all the horrible things that happened to him in his life, and just live in the present, his whole world focused on the boy near him. He couldn't take much more of this!
A plan formed in his head. After they got back to the guild, after they were officially recognized as S-class wizard, the raven-haired boy would thank his friend for helping him get S-class. He could honestly say that without him, there was no way he would be an S-class wizard. Gray hoped Natsu would see that as enough thanks for helping him get over his fear of being a demon. After that, all the ice-make wizard needed was some time alone with the fire mage where he could open his heart. So, it felt like the dragon slayer read his thought's when he suddenly looked over his shoulder and asked.
"Do you want to do another ten-year job after we get our payback?" There was an odd expression on his face. It looked like he wanted, no, more like needed to asked that question, but he was afraid. The raven-haired boy never saw an expression like that on his friend's face. It was more troubled than any expression he ever saw, but it also held more hope than ever.
The ice-make wizard couldn't figure out what that face could mean, so he just answered the question. "Yeah, I was thinking the exact same thing." As he said that, a thought came into his head. Could Natsu be thinking the exact same thing? Sure, he hoped the fire mage felt for him, what he felt for the fire mage, but what were the odds he wanted to tell him his feeling at the exact same time. Gray knew it was more than likely he'll be rejected.
Natsu had an innocent crush on Lisanna as a child, she even declaring they would get married after they grew up, and he looked interested in Lucy now, so he knew Natsu might not even look at guys that way. All he could hope for was that maybe, with time, his friend would come to feel the same way, but if that was impossible, he hoped they could at least stay friends. Even if the dragon slayer hated him after his confession, even if he would distance himself from the ice-make wizard, it would be better than to live with this heavy secret on his shoulders. The raven-haired boy didn't know how Salamander lived thinking he was a demon all those weeks. Keeping a secret, while knowing there was someone who would listen to you… No wonder he looked that miserable, Gray thought.
It took them four days to reach the village. Without any monsters to fight and Natsu's fast pace, they practically flew through the forest. They had two hours before their train came and left the village station, so as it was around noon, and the train ride would take six hours, they went to a restaurant to eat.
As they ate, the fire mage asked. "Do you think there'll be a party?" His mouth was full, and food flew everywhere, but that childlike nature was one of the things Gray liked about him.
"Depends.", he answered. "Gramps may decide to wait for everyone to return, especially if someone else managed to complete their job. But then again, it's Fairy Tail, and we may have a party for every new S-class wizard.", the ice-make wizard said, chuckling lightly.
"Who do you think might be able to get S-class besides us?", the dragon slayer asked.
"Juvia was an S-class wizard in Phantom Lord, and Freed's no pushover, so I think they have the best chances to get to S-class. But they could have taken a job in which their magic is completely useless, so there's no way to really know what each team's chances were. While we're on the subject, do you think Gramps knew about your Magic Power? I mean, we were the only pair which wasn't accompanied by an S-class mage."
After thinking for a while, the pink-haired boy spoke slowly. "I don't think so. Can you feel an increase of Magic Power in me?", he asked, and after the ice-make wizard shook his head, he continued. "I don't think my Magic Power increased, at least not directly. It's like some part of me has an unending reservoir of Magic Power but I have no direct control over it. I don't know how much you could've focused on me during the fights, but in no fight have I used any Magic Power. I haven't felt my Magic Power being used since the day I fought Zeref and Acnologia."
Gray was confused. "What do you mean, you aren't using Magic Power! You can't not use Magic Power! It's what powers magic, so saying you're not using Magic Power is like saying you're not using magic!"
Natsu sighed, long ago forgetting the food in front of him, talking grimly like he was on the funeral, but the ice-make wizard saw that he wanted to explain it. "I don't know how else to describe it, but it feels like every magic I use goes through the demon curse, and that's what powers it. I can feel the maximum amount of Magic Power I can put into my magic, and that's what I said I feel is increasing every day, but I can't detect the actual amount of Magic Power in the reservoir in that part of me. I think that not even Zeref knew what he did to me. He was trying to revive me. Only after he succeeded was he thinking of me… ending his life." The raven-haired boy saw tears in his friend's eyes, but he soon blinked them away.
He got the feeling it would be better not to question him about the tears, so he asked something else. "Then how do you know how much Magic Power you have at your disposal? How can you know what the maximal number of Fire Animals you can create, or the maximum time you can use Fire Body?"
"I figured that since I can feel a maximum amount of Magic Power I could use in one attack, as long as I spend less Magic Power than that, it should be safe. As far as I know I could maintain Fire Body forever, since even I don't know how much Magic Power I have. And if anyone saw me fight, they would soon know my secret. I mean, I would use magic, without using my Magic Power. Every wizard who saw me fight would know that something was wrong."
Gray hesitated before asking his next question. "Are you sure you want to challenge team B? You said you don't want anyone to know your secret, and if we do this, the whole guild will know."
"I'm sure!", the fire mage said, a grin returning to his face, and food in his mouth. "It was stupid to keep this a secret from my family for so long. I was afraid everyone would look at me differently, or that some would even hate me, but that's not what family does. That's not what Fairy Tail wizards do. Besides, I couldn't face them all, day after day, with this secret that only we would know. Everyone has a right to know, and they can decide how they want to act around me. I won't care what they decide, because there is one person that told me they would stay by my side no matter what.", he ended, looking Gray in the eyes.
"Yeah, there is no way I'd leave you.", the ice-make wizard said, the meaning behind those words much deeper than the fire mage would ever know.
Both of them continued their lunch in silence. Natsu was thinking about the only person whose opinion mattered to him, and that person's promise of never leaving him. Gray's thoughts were on the most important person in his life, and how much that person valued him.
They came to the train stop ten minutes before train arrived. Natsu was already felling nauseous, but he decided to give the princess' pills one more chance. He swallowed half the box of pills with Gray warning him about an overdose, the fire mage ignoring him.
The train arrived ten minutes later, and they got on it. They took seats next to each other, the ice-make wizard not wanting anything that came out of the dragon slayers mouth to end up on him, Natsu guessed. Besides, there weren't any seats across each other free.
As soon as the train started, the pink-haired boy knew those pills weren't working. The only thing that the pills did, was stop him from vomiting. The feeling he had to endure thought, was pure torture. He felt like ants were crawling from his stomach, up his throat, but there was nothing he could do about it. His stomach felt like it wanted to leave his body and the whole world started to tilt.
Natsu turned to Gray and asked him. "Do you mind?" Seeing the look of confusion on his face (was that even his face? Well it doesn't matter), he pointed to his friend's lap with his head, indicating he wanted to lay down.
The ice-make wizard turned around, muttering. "Sure." The dragon slayer thought he saw a hint of red on the raven-haired boy's face, but that wouldn't make any sense, so he credited it to the weird mix of motion sickness and whatever those pills did to him. For the first time in his life, he was glad his face was green. Because, unlike his weird imagination turning Gray's cheeks red, his definitely were as he lay in the lap of the man he was in love with.
The cold legs under his head at least stopped the world from spinning. It gave the fire mage a chance to look up into the raven-haired boy's face. The ice-make wizard was looking away from him, but what he saw of his cheeks wasn't red. He was right: It was all his imagination.
It was stupid to hope that it wasn't his imagination. He knew he shouldn't get his hopes up but seeing something like that, he just couldn't help himself. Of course he hoped Gray felt just like him, everyone hoped that the person they love would return their feelings, but as he stopped and thought about it, the chances of that were very low. It was just over a month ago that Natsu finally realized what he felt for the ice-make wizard and he felt like he waited a month to long to tell him. The chances of the raven-haired boy getting or realizing his feelings towards the fire mage at approximately the same time as the dragon slayer had, were slim at best, and he would have no reason not to tell them. Not like the pink-haired boy's, not wanting the ice-make wizard to do something he didn't want just because he cared for his friend.
Then there was Juvia. Natsu overheard (read: eavesdropped) on Gray's conversation with the girl. The ice-make wizard told her he needed some more time before he could give her an answer, and the fire mage was pretty sure what the question was. It was more than likely that the raven-haired boy wasn't even looking at guys that way. But that secret was what weighted down the dragon slayer more than anything else, especially around his friend. The pink-haired boy would open his heart to this man, open his very soul, and wait for the answer. If Gray wants to leave after that, Natsu would let him. Even though the ice-make wizard promised to stay by his side forever, Salamander loved him too much to watch him suffer, especially because of him.
As sleep finally took him, there was only time for one more thought. I'll tell him everything on our next ten-year job, and I'll respect whatever decision he makes.
It was all Gray could do to bring his flushed cheeks back to normal. He hoped Natsu hadn't notice anything. The ice-make wizard turned his face away, but part of it was still visible, so he hoped the fire mage was too occupied with motion sickness to notice it, because he didn't know how he would get out of it, and telling the truth here and at this time was out of the question. The raven-haired boy quickly got the color of his cheeks under control, and he was glad as soon as, out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the dragon slayer turn his eyes back to his face.
Soon, the pink-haired boy was asleep in his lap, and Gray turned his eyes out of the window, looking at the scenery. Three hours went by before he realized what he was doing. Somewhere along the ride, his right hand went into the soft hair of the boy sleeping in his lap, threading his fingers through it. The ice-make wizard wanted to stop, this is not something friends do, after all, but it just felt so right. He felt guilty for doing it, but he just let his hand do what it wanted to do for the rest of the ride.
Natsu's whole world started shaking. He heard someone's voice calling his name, getting louder and louder. As the voice finally came from just besides him, his eyes opened to see Gray's face above him. He jumped up so fast, their heads almost collided, the ice-make wizard's fast reflexes the only thing that stopped that from happening.
"Come on, flame-brain, we're in Magnolia.", the raven-haired boy said as he stood up, and took his backpack. The blood that started to rush into the dragon slayer's face stopped as soon as he heard that comment. He remembered how sick he felt, and asking Gray if he could lie on his lap. Just as he thought his cheeks would start to burn again, his backpack was thrown at him, the ice-make wizard looking at him and saying. "Come on! If we don't hurry, you'll ride the train for another six hours."
That made the pink-haired boy move. Just the thought of going through that torture again was more than enough to make his legs move.
As they moved through Magnolia, Natsu felt more rested than he had in a long time. He still felt like his stomach was trying to crawl out of his body, and he still felt traces of motion sickness, but for the first time since the invasion he didn't have any nightmares. For the first time, he felt safe as he slept and he had a feeling Gray, or at least his presence, was responsible for it.
Reaching the guildhall, the boys looked at each other and nodded, before the fire mage lifted his right leg up and kicked the doors. They opened with a loud bang on either side as they collided with the walls. Every wizard inside fell silent.
The pink-haired boy was about to step inside saying something witty, but he froze as he let his gaze wander in the room. Not only were they not the first ones to return, they were the last ones. Lucy, Cana, Gajeel, Levy, Juvia, Freed, Mest and Elfman were all back.
"What are you freezing fo-", the ice-make wizard started, walking by his friend, until he saw what the fire mage was looking at, and froze himself.
Natsu couldn't believe what he was seeing. He knew they took a lot of time to getting to their job and back, but Gramps gave them six months to complete their job, and the dragon slayer thought that most of the teams would take at least half that time. As it turned out, everyone was back in less than half a month.
After a few minutes of total silence, Salamander noticed Gramps at the same spot where he announced S-class wizard promotion trial a couple of weeks ago. He had a wide grin on his face, and he looked at the boys standing at the entrance, before he spoke.
"Let's hear it for our newest S-class wizards!", he bellowed, and the silence was finally broken by wild cheers.
That's when the fire mage noticed something strange. None of the other candidates looked particularly happy. If anything, the looks on their faces were ones of disappointment.
As people came to congratulate them, they were slowly pulled into the guildhall. They were dragged to the bar, grins on the boys' faces appearing, when a loud voice was heard.
"Natsu!", the blue Exceed exclaimed from the doors, before flying into the dragon slayer for a hug.
Once his friend congratulated him, the pink-haired boy asked quietly. "What's with them?", indicating the other candidates who didn't seem the least bit interested to join the party that started. Even Cana who usually had a barrel in her hands was just sitting at one of the tables, staring blankly ahead.
Happy answered in a whisper. "Apparently, they got too cocky and tried to finish the jobs they took, wanting to be the first ones to return. They couldn't handle it, and either requested the help from the S-class mages, or the mages came when they saw that the wizards were in danger. The last ones to return were Freed and Juvia, and that had been three days ago."
"You mean we're the only new S-class wizards?", finally being able to smile honestly. He was afraid that Gray's words became the truth, and that there would be endless teasing from Lucy and Gajeel, but if they failed, they couldn't do that.
"Aye!", the blue Exceed said. As he saw the look of happiness on his friend's face, Happy couldn't help but mimic it.
The party continued long into the night, and at one point Natsu's mood plummeted as he saw the ice-make wizard lead Juvia outside, but with the celebratory mood in the guildhall, he was soon back to his happy self.
The fire mage saw Cana finally leaving to get a barrel of some alcoholic beverage, and leaving Lucy alone at the table, so he went to talk to her.
"Hey!", he said with a huge grin and sharp fangs showing on his face.
"Hey!", the celestial wizard tried to say cheerfully, but failing catastrophically. "Congratulations on getting S-class. I'm really happy for you.", she said honestly.
"Thanks.", the pink-haired boy answered. "Any I'm sorry you didn't."
"Oh…", she said looking a little ashamed. "Don't be. I'm not. Out of everyone here, I've probably been in Fairy Tail the shortest. I'm just depressed that Cana didn't get it. She really wanted to make Gildarts proud, and he needed to save us in the end. But at least she didn't say she'd leave Fairy Tail like last time. In fact, she told her dad that she'd succeed next time."
"That's great! I know she can do it.", the dragon slayer said.
"Of course she can do it. It's just that we didn't expect the ten-year job to be so hard. We just went about like it was any normal job, and ended up in trouble. We didn't even know that Gildarts was following us, until he came and saved us."
They talked for a while, Natsu asking questions about their job. When Lucy asked about the boy's job, the fire mage said he would tell her another day. He said that there was something Gray and he needed to say to the entire Fairy Tail before they would tell anyone what happened on the job. She clearly misunderstood the dragon slayer's words. It was clear from the look of surprise on her face that she thought the boys confessed undying love to each other or something, but he let her believe that. After the job, the ice-make wizard and he agreed that nobody must know about Salamander's power until the battle against team B, and that it didn't matter what people thought as long as that was kept secret.
The talk continued for a little longer, the celestial wizard subtly trying to pry into his feelings for the raven-haired boy and the secret they have. Natsu just innocently answered every question, pretending he couldn't read between the lines, his answers not revealing his true feelings. Lucy soon got bored of getting nothing, and stopped her covert prying.
It was just before midnight. The ice-make wizard hadn't returned since he went outside with Juvia. As Natsu and Happy walked home, the fire mage tried not to show just how much it hurt him to see the raven-haired boy leave with a woman that clearly loved him, and not return afterwards. The walk home was silent and as soon as they reached their house, the dragon slayer went to his room, dropped on the bed and fell asleep with tears staining his face.
Gray was having fun, especially when Natsu told him that no one else became an S-class wizard besides them. Just like his friend, he froze when he saw everyone was back. It turned out that they all failed, but the thoughts of Gajeel and Lucy laughing at them remained in his mind.
It was already night outside when the ice-make wizard remembered what he had decided on the long train ride home. He made up his mind, and walked to Juvia.
"We need to talk.", he told her, not looking her in the face. "Can we go outside?"
"Gray-sama wants to talk to Juvia privately?", she asked, not looking as gloomy anymore.
"I promised you an answer after the S-class wizard promotion trial was over.", the raven-haired boy said, starting to walk outside.
He walked towards the back of the guild, where no one was at this time, Juvia always two steps behind him. After the ice-make wizard judged they were far enough for no one to hear them, especially a certain dragon slayer, he turned around.
Juvia waited excitedly, but when no words came from the boy in front of her, she spoke. "What did Gray-sama want to tell Juvia?"
There was a silence for another half a minute before the raven-haired boy spoke quietly. "I'm sorry Juvia, but there is someone else who I'm in love with."
Juvia looked like she just heard a joke, but seeing Gray just standing with a determined look on his face, her expression twisted in anger. "A love rival? Is it Lucy?", she asked dangerously.
"No!", he yelled, before he continued in almost a whisper. "No. Even if I loved you, I don't deserve you. Do you know why I never rejected you?", he asked, and after the girl shook her head (although it looked involuntarily), he spoke. "I wasn't aware of the feelings I have towards the person I love, not consciously. And after I learned what I felt, I was almost certain that that person wasn't feeling the same. So I kept saying I'd tell you your answer, wanting to tell the person I love how I felt, waiting for that person to reject me. If by some miracle the person felt the same, I could tell you the truth, but if I was rejected, I wanted to keep you in reserve.", he said ashamed of how he treated her.
Juvia looked with an impassive look on her face as the ice-make wizard continued. "I wanted to use you. I knew that no matter how I acted, you would be there, and I thought that since it's your decision to be there I could do whatever I wanted. But I figured just how wrong that is. Honestly, I didn't expect you to already be here, so I still haven't told that person my feelings. And I'm glad I haven't, because I feel like I needed to tell you the truth before that."
Both of them were silent for a few minutes, before blue-haired girl spoke. "Juvia is thankful that Gray-sama told her the truth." She turned around, tears falling down her face, and went back.
The raven-haired boy watched until the girl wasn't visible anymore, before he started back to the guild. He was about to enter when he saw the pink-haired boy talking to the blond celestial wizard. Gray saw Lucy talk in a flirtatious way and Natsu just ignoring it like he didn't even notice it. But the ice-make wizard saw that his friend did indeed notice it, acting innocently with a smile on his face. It broke his heart to see the man he loved talk that way to a beautiful woman in front of him.
Not wanting anyone to know just how much that hurt him, he turned around and walked back home. He reached his apartment, slammed the door shut, went to his bedroom, dropping head first onto the bed, and cried himself to sleep.
