Spock at his bedside, McCoy woke up. "How long was I asleep?"

"Approximately 8 hours."

"What?" Bones jumped out of bed. "You let me sleep that long?"

"It was required by nurse Chappel."

"Oh she's askin' for it." McCoy muttered, putting on his uniform medical t-shirt over his black one he had slept in. "Come on! What are you waiting for? Let's get to Jim's room. "

"We are still not sure he'll accept."

"I know, but we might as well ask."

"Did you have any such dreams as the captain?" Spock asked.

"No. I had a strange dream, but I don't think spaghetti and penguins are what qualifies for Jim's category of nightmare." Spock stared at him and decided to drop the topic.

So, the two officers in blue shirts walked their way to the captain's quarters, lower ranking officers looked at them, the two determined men.

Like any group of people kept together in a space, there was gossip. Lots of it, in fact. The captain currently was the spectacle of it. 'Did you hear about the Captain?' They'd say. 'I heard that he was ill with something.' 'No, he's not sick, he just had a severe injury.' 'And, you forgot, one of the doctor's hypos made him delirious.'

The crew was a good crew. Reliable, smart and brave, but still gossip spread ship-wide and the large amount of time spent between Spock and McCoy was part of the talk. The fights and bickering between the two officers was legendary, both of them renowned as the Captain's best friends which is why they never got into much trouble for so many informalities. They crew was wondering what could possibly draw the two together for so much time, and most were sure that the captain's strange state part of it.

It had been a little over a day that the captain hadn't been on duty, which was extremely unusual. And even though the bridge crew was among his closest friends, it was also known some of them would tell about the events that happened that not every average ensign Joe and ordinary yeoman Sue could know.

Chekov and Sulu were both well known for their information on these matters and were normally a pretty reliable source. They were in a Recreation room, playing a game of cards at this moment in time, answering some questions about the situation.

"Scotty said that McCoy and Spock had been talking about the captain, and were working on some radar tracking device. He was helping a little bit." Mr. Sulu said, as he bet ten.

"But why has the captain be out of commission for so long? That's really strange for him." A security officer named Jack Litsen asked.

"Something about a lack of sleep. None of us are really sure." Chekov said. "Although, zat morning he was on duty, he was wery wery ill tempered." He drew a card.

Sulu took a sip of his Saki, a Japanese liquor, and began coughing.

"Hikaru, are you okay?" an ensign asked.

He seemed like he was choking. Suddenly, Pavel also began gasping for breath. Within about ten seconds, Chekov was almost passed out and they were both on the ground, squirming…trying to get air into their lungs.

"Oh my god! Quick! Someone call sickbay! Now!"

Mr. Litsen ran over to the com as fast as he could and slammed his body against it as he pressed the button. "Litsen to sickbay – Please come in!"

"Nurse Chappel here."

"Emergency on Rec Room 3, Deck 9! Please send for help!" He was yelling into the box on the wall.

"We have another emergency on the bridge…but we'll be right there, Chappel out!"

In about a minute or so there was a full team of nurses armed with hyposprays and stretchers. They shoved through the growing crowd around Sulu and Chekov.

Sulu and Chekov were beginning to lose consciousness. They gave them respiration masks until their breathing was at least there, forcing the air into their lungs. Finally, after five agonizingly slow minutes of two crewmembers' lives in jeopardy, they seemed to be alive.

"Vut happened?" Chekov asked, dazedly.

"I was drinking my Saki, and then I could breathe."

"Neizer could I…and it felt like zere were shocks going all through my body…" The Russian ensign put his head in his hand. "Ohhh…" he moaned quietly.

"Me too. I feel like there are a thousand pushpins that just got pulled out of my body." Sulu said quietly.

"Well, you both couldn't breathe…the same thing happened on the bridge with Uhura in the exact same time." Chekov and Sulu exchanged glances. "You two should go to sickbay and have Dr. McCoy look at this." Chappel said, looking at the readings on the medical tricorder.

"Yes Ma'am." Chekov said, still feeling dizzy.

A quiet knock was heard if you were on the inside of Captain Kirk's bedroom. Where it came from? It came from the two timid, caring friends that waited patiently for their captain and companion's word to come in.

It didn't come.

A little muttering from outside would have been heard, the inflection slightly southern on one voice, the other very low and factual.

There was another knock. This one louder.

And the isolated soul inside, behind these doors heard it. Normally the nurses and yeomen who gave him his meals didn't knock, they just came and went. But he wouldn't respond.

The lack of sleep was eating away at him. First, his muscles declined in almost total fatigue, then his face that had this strange little limp from his forehead and cheeks that seemed to melt. And then his eyes had become glossy and pink. Like someone had put glue all over them and the glue had never dried.

His face looked like a wreck, from the different tones of fluctuating reds and pinks that came from being deeply afraid, depressed, tear stained and alone.

He didn't want to go back to that horrific dream land. Where Scotty did any task, Chekov, Sulu and Uhura were strangled, and Bones and Spock were just like robots or…dare he say…pets….And all for this…this imposter!

A cold chill ran down his spine as the same feeling that it was all too real swept over his deflated muscles and bones. That some of this was actually going to happen. That all of it would. And the price would be his closest friend's lives. He would not let them near him if it meant saving them. If he thought they couldn't be safe in the real world, they would at least be safe in his mind if he knew he wasn't near them, posing a threat to them.

Another knock.

More mumbling, this time louder.

Another wait and another answer that wasn't ever going to come to invite them in. Kirk lay on his bed, sitting upright against the wall, hugging his pillow which was wet from so many tears.

Finally, the knocks stopped and the sound of Spock and McCoy's footsteps filled the room. They saw Jim and Spock mentally winced, Bones physically twitched. Spock flashed his tricorder. "He has not been sleeping this entire time, Doctor."

McCoy kind of wanted to argue that he was the doctor and he'd be taking the readings, but this was not the time when their friend was in trouble.

"Jim?" the captain blinked, his hair totally ruffled and frizzy. He hid his head in the pillow and recoiled his knees to his chest so he was curled up in a fetus position.

"Jim…we want to help you." Spock said quietly.

He shook. He'd almost killed them in his dream…he didn't like them here, so close to a killer. Didn't want them here, so close and near someone who destroyed lives. And who's to say his dream…wasn't even a dream? It felt all too real, that's for sure.

"Would you allow me to do a mind meld with you?" Spock hovered hesitantly over the bed as McCoy sat down next to Jim, face in pillow.

There was a long silence as Kirk thought over this.

There were two sides to this argument. He saw the other him in this situation. The other him said no, in fact, he looked a little afraid, himself! 'No! Don't let these people in…' then a little bit of something like…inspiration? Crossed his face. 'If you let them inside,' he said, preying off of his fear, confidence growing like weeds, 'then they might get hurt. They'll be pulled in.'

Then, there was his true self. 'Let them in. You've been alone far too long,' he told himself, 'Spock knows what he's doing…and I need help. So bad.' And in this matter, he had his will. He wasn't asleep. He was awake, even if life felt blurred, he had will and he knew if he could do anything to spite the other him, this would be the chance. So he tried to respond.

He tried, he really did.

But no words came. Not even a simple yes or no. It was like his vocal chords hand been cruelly ripped from his throat. Instead he turned to face Spock and McCoy, embarrassed that they had to see him this way, and nodded.

Spock seemed to realize something. "I cannot perform the mind meld unless you are rested. It is too unstable otherwise and could result in hazardous things."

Then a fear, unmistakable, horrific, present fear was everywhere. It was totally visible.

Jim began to shake. Don't make me go back there…please…oh god don't make me go back! Tears raked down his grimacing face.

Bones quickly put a defensive hand on his back and pulled him closer by him. "Spock, he's been having nightmares, how are we supposed to get him to sleep?"

"I do not favor this alternative for the captain's personal good, but I do believe you know exactly how we are to make him sleep." McCoy looked at Spock comprehendingly. He pursed his lips as he felt the half steady breath that was interfered with by the flow of tears in the captain's warm body. His friend shook in fright. He rubbed his shoulder a little bit to tell him he was still there. To reassure him.

"Spock, you can't be serious." They both knew they'd have to sedate him.

"I am completely serious doctor, and see no reason why you would think I would be joking." McCoy let out an invisible sigh.

"Well, we had better get a move on." He said, barely auditable to human ears, but perfectly well heard by those of a Vulcan.

All of the sudden, a cry…a painstaking, terrified cry came from Jim. It wasn't very loud, but it was scary enough to see him this way, to hear this…it was so real. Terribly real. And very chilling. It was a moan, like when a kid's about to break out in tears, not in anger, but in fear or sadness. It reverberated in Spock and McCoy's ear drums. This made the situation way more actual. Before it had just been another strange happening on the enterprise. Now it stopped. It had passed the point where it was another mission or adventure. It was a terrifying moment, this realization. And they needed to fix this.

"It's okay…Jim it's okay…" Bones was trying hard to hold back small tears of his own, good thing he held his ground. No one was going to see him cry. Spock sat down at the bed. Jim dug his head into Bones's chest. McCoy wrapped his other arm around his back. "We're going to fix this, we're going to fix you." He said quietly. Spock held the hypo. The kiss of death. The total betrayal, but absolutely necessary. All these sad, betraying feelings flooded over the doctor's body, and also, Spock shared this same feeling though he seldom showed it.

And as the Captain had so deeply trusted Bones and Spock to protect him from these dreams, he would be the one to send him back. To surrender him, give him up, give him away. To say, 'look nightmares! Here's our Captain! Do whatever you want to traumatize him!'

McCoy hesitantly took the hypo and carefully pricked it in to Jim's back. "I'm sorry." He whispered as the quiet hiss of the hypo flowed over the silence of the room.

….===…===…

Hope you liked that! Something terrible is brewing… Oh by the way, the spaghetti and penguins thing from the beginning was actually from a dream of mine…don't ask. I'm happy and so thankful for your kind reviews and I'll keep writing this. Please R&R as always, and live long and prosper!

Oh, one more thing, if you've ever listened to the song Fix You by cold play, that captures the emotion pretty well. And if you've ever read my aftermath of wrath of khan story, three minus one, that works even better! Now, I'll get back behind my keyboard…where I belong. *Sits in dark corner awkwardly.*