Disclaimer: I am not Louise Rennison, however much I want to be

Disclaimer: I am not Louise Rennison, however much I want to be. I do not own any of the characters. (Sob.) (And I don't own the TV show 'QI.')

I just own the plot. Anything you remotely recognise doesn't belong to me.

You should know that by now :)

A.N: oh I am mean aren't I? All these cliff-hangers! Well anyway, thanks to all my LUUURVELY reviewers, of whom I will name at the end because I can't really be bothered at the moment really. Hope you enjoy the chap chums. Toodles.

Part 7: The Stick Insect has escaped!

Two seconds later

It's Lindsay. I'm dead meat. Deader than dead. I should go and dig my grave now.

"Here. Now."

Her knees are really knobbly! Ew.

"Why, hello Lindsay. How lovely your extensions look today."

She looked like she was about to explode. Maybe I'd get covered in ink! As she is an octopus. And they squirt ink. Don't they? Maybe that's a squid… I should ask Miss Wilson. That would be fun.

"Do you have a thing about stealing boyfriends? Or is it just that you target me especially?"

"Unless you were going out with David Christopher James before me, then technically I haven't stolen your boyfriend."

That's the first time I've ever used Dave's whole name! It's a lovely name. In my opinion.

"I'm talking about Robert Dale Jenning, Nicolson. I read in sugar magazine that he's completely in love with you, and has just dumped me for you! And I'm guessing you've heard what you've done to Masimo! He'll never go out with me again! Thanks for ruining my life Georgia. Anyway you won't have to put up with me much longer, I don't even go to this crap hole any more, and I never want to see you again. You're a pain, and a slut, and a man stealer. Just get lost kid, yeah?"

Blimey o'reilly, life story or what?

BUT GUESS WHAT?

LINDSAYS LEAVING!!

THANKYOU BIG G! THANKYOU THANKYOU!

I LOVE YOU AND TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I'VE EVER SAID THAT'S BAD TO YOU!

Hold up, what does she mean about Masimo?

"Um, yeah, sorry, I don't like Robbie and I've got a fantastic boyfriend, but what on earth do you mean about 'what I've done to Masimo' ?"

"I said get lost."

She's walking away…

"What did I do Lindsay?!"

Shouting now, with my super strength voice.

"Ask Carlos!"

Huh?

"WHO'S CARLOS!"

"MASIMO'S NEW BOYFRIEND! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

and shes run away.

STOP THE PRESS PEOPLE.

SHE SAID MASIMO'S NEW BOYFRIEND.

BOYFRIEND.

NOT GIRLFRIEND, BOYFRIEND.

CALLED CARLOS.

I've turned Masimo gay.

Wow.

Dave was right.

Masimo is a homosexualist.

This explains SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much.

Wow.

If I have this effect on all boys, I'm never dumping dave ever.

But why would I want to? I love him.

But…

MASIMO IS GAYYYYY!

MASIMO AND CARLOS!

MASIMO IS GOING OUR WITH MY MANSERVANT!

Maybe they can have a ménage a trois with Juan.

I turned around to see Jas with her jaw practically on the floor.

She looks like a fish.

10 minutes later.

In assembly with the ace lot.

They're all whispering in a line, like that game Chinese whispers.

Hahaha, Rosie has just heard and opened her mouth really really wide and her eye brows have just shot up like two shooty uppy things.

After about 3 minutes, she threw a piece of paper at me saying,

Blimey and Crikey. Masimo a homosexual? I NEVER saw that coming.

At that point, I looked up at her, raised one eye brow and she just cracked up laughing and got sent out of assembly by a giant talking chin. Anyway, reading on:

Ace gang meeting in the tarts wardrobe straight after assembly. Forget German. I'm sure Herr Kaymer will forgive us. We will buy him a nice new pair or tartan socks. Pip pip, Ro-ro xo

Um, ok then.

2 minutes later.

Rave on oh fat one.

We're not really listening.

CRIKEY!

MY NUNGA'S VIBRATING!

(oo-er, no funny thoughts chums)

my phone!

Eek!

Umm, think quick Nicolson, even if it's the only time in your life!

I've shot my hand in the air.

Yay, miss wilson's seen me!

"What is it Georgia?"

"Miss, I think I'm going to be sick."

Oh I'm very good.

"well get out quick."

FANKS.

And I've run out.

Answer phone quickkkkkkk!

"Hello?"

"Georgia? It's Robbie."

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

A.N: Hehe :) Quick update or what?

This just literally popped into my head.

Lol.

Lots of thanks to:

livontheedge, mbmimi, Disco Dancer, ive-gone-all-jelliod, CHAGRIN THIS, weatherwitch.X.x.X., twinlover69lolawesomewriter, gossip613, dramaqueen612, Mizz-Emz, xBabimiax and Double Awsomeness with knobs.

I love you all.

Hehe :D

So yeah, keep tuning in to my fic, I'm very dedicated :)

The next chap will be MUCH longer,

To make up for the shortness of this one.

And the next one will have LOTS of snoggling in it.

Gee x Dave snogging ofcourse :)

Sophie xxxxx