I apologize deeply for not being able to post on this for a while. I've had rl caught up on me, so this hasn't been what I've been forced to focus at, even though it's what I've wanted. But here's a long awaited chapter. I feel embarrassed about this, and I do hope you'll forgive me.
Cavin stomped through the corridor in fury. The guards that had been standing on guard by the diner hall, had almost been crushed when he flung the door open and looked after him with shock and surprise.
The King approached just in time to see it, and he looked after Cavin as he disappeared out in a corridor in the other direction. A moment he was standing still and wondered about the sudden change in his behavior. He remembered when they walked to the dining hall; he had heard Cavin and Sir Tuxford discuss behind them, and Cavin had sounded quite angry for a moment.
The King shrugged and turned back to the hall, but arched his eyebrows when he noticed Sir Tuxford sitting with his head resting in his hands. His friend looked old and sad, like he had something heavy on his shoulders. King Gregor moved around the table and placed a hand on his back. "Are you in the mood of telling me what just happened here, old friend?"
Sir Tuxford turned his head around and straightened up towards the King, but looked down again as he let out a heavy sigh. "I was afraid this might happen. I should have helped him prepare for..."
"Prepare for what?" The King asked.
"For meeting Princess Calla, Sire." He sighed. "I fear he... I.. I confronted him when he... when he asked me of her... condition. And now he obviously believes that we do not trust him." He rose his head and looked up in the air. "He should have come back here with the rest of us when we arrived home, then I could have kept an eye on him. I shouldn't have let him be alone. He told me he was to see old friends and his household, but I wonder..." The last sentence became only a whisper.
The King sat down beside him, where Cavin had been sitting just a few minutes ago, and placed a hand on his old friends back. "It might not be a surprise if Cavin has… become a little aware. You know Sir Tuxford, that after a war, it is not seldom that one… seeing danger everywhere. It's not unusual that he... I mean, this happens when war comes suddenly. We both know that from experience. And he has always been a bit sensitive."
"He's on guard, My Lord. But not that way." He sighed.
The King also sighed. "Poor lad. He knows my daughter better than I do myself. Of course he would notice if something were wrong. I should have seen that coming. Do not blame yourself, old friend. I should have noticed myself." He rose from the chair and cleared his throat. "I shall go and see to him!"
Sir Tuxford lifted his head when the King rose. "My Lord: I ask you to think through before speaking to him!" he said meekly.
The King nodded. "I will, Sir Tuxford. I will!" And by that, he left the room.
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King Gregor looked around in the courtyard, but he saw no sign of him anywhere. According to the castle guards he had been heading towards the stables, in a foul mood they could tell. So he went towards the stables. The King could recall always to have found the boy there, when he was not beside him or Sir Tuxford, either tending the horses or preparing leathers or weapons. Sir Tuxford could tell that Cavin sometimes would be gone for hours without any sign, probably seeing his friends for some adventure. He had never heard much of those friends of his, so they must have been from outside the Castle.
A horrific thought struck him; had Cavin decided to leave the Castle before the dark?
He sighed as he kept walking, looking up at the sky. It was still light, but he knew it was late.
He had been right. As he turned around for the stables corner, he saw Cavin, standing in the middle of the paddock with Destiny, face to face with the horse, cuddling with its head. As King Gregor watched him, Cavin leaned his head to the stallions forehead. His lips were moving, apparently speaking to him.
The King stopped a moment and watched them. It was an astonishing sight. It was like seeing Sir Victor with the same horse just a couple of years earlier. Sir Victor had always treated his horse with the greatest respect while he was still alive, and he had always preferred Cavin as his temporarily squire while he was at the Castle, something Sir Tuxford had alwaysn agreed on since he had Unwin as well. Apparently, Cavin had carried on with that habit, of talking to his horse like he was a person, he had even seen him do so with his own horse. Sir Victor and Cavin had been close, and right now he wished that he was there. He could have know what to say to Cavin.
But he is not here, so it's up to you, a voice said in his head. So he drew his breath and started walking towards the paddock.
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Cavin was quite sad at the moment, and he was grateful that Destiny didn't mind him for giving him a light hug.
He had gotten most of his rage out by walking outside, letting out a few curses and some lines that his Grandfather normally wouldn't have allowed him to say out loud if he had been alive, before he went to the stables. His first thought were to look at the place Cubbi had appeared earlier to see if he were still there, but there was no sign of his best friend at the moment. His second thought had been to saddle his horse and ride away from the Castle.
But when he reached his horse, the animal looked at him like he knew what he was intending and almost asked him "please not again?"It seemed tired after the ride and Cavin didn't want to put on more work to the poor animal. Besides, by now, most of his rage had faded, and were replaced with a deep wave of sadness. So all he did was to give his horse a light pat on his mule, leaving him as he neighed of relief and kept eating.
Then he had spotted Destiny, and tears had threaten to fill his eyes while he became emotional. He really wished that the heroic knight were still alive and there. Except from Sir Victor, it would have been his Grandfather or Sir Tuxford Cavin would talk to if he were troubled. But Sir Gawain was dead and he had just quarreled with Sir Tuxford. So then, the only one he could talk to now was Destiny. Therefore, he had taken him out for a walk in the paddock so he could stretch his legs. But the horse had noticed his mood and had stopped, and kept staring at him untill Cavin gave in and confessed to him.
"I cannot speak to her anymore, Destiny. Not like I used to." He said low as he held his head tight, leaning his forehead to his. "It can't be like it was before. Nothing ever can!"
The stallion neighed back to him. He had always had a way of responding when talking to him. There was a reason Sir Victor had respected him so much.
"What am I supposed to do? They don't trust me in there, and I don't know if I..."
Cavin heard footsteps in the sandy earth not far away. He looked up without letting go of Destiny's head and met the King's eyes across the fence. King Gregor was smiling naturally, although a bit sad, and Cavin had the feeling he had already had heard of the argument with Sir Tuxford. He saw it in his eyes. He knew he should great his Majesty with a "Sire" or at least a nod, but he found himself standing at the spot without doing nothing. Just watching him, waiting for him to act.
"You're not leaving us already, are you?" he asked calmly, like he was making a harmless joke. But there was a kind seriousness in his voice that made Cavin look down. He didn't know what to say. He wanted to answer 'My horse needs resting, so I'll wait till tomorrow at least'. But the King spoke again before he reached a proper line.
"Why don't you come with me for a walk in the sunset? I am sure Destiny would enjoy some fresh grass for a change."
Cavin looked up again, a bit surprised about his suggestion and hesitated for a moment, but found that it would be better not to disagree with him now. With his head lowered he gave a short "Come, boy" to Destiny and followed the King when he started walking towards the garden where he and Sir Tuxford had been walking earlier that day before Cavin showed up.
The light between the trees were orange and yellow by now, and the late birds were chattering. There was a light, warm breeze that were blowing through the leaves, making them rustle and filling in the embarrassing silence.
Destiny found a good place to start eating and stopped, not intending to leave it. Cavin stopped as well to let him taste it, chuckling at the stubborn horse. When he made his mind up about something, he was like a mountain; not to be moved. "You're going to get fat, you know that?" he said, forgetting himself a short moment. "Your Sire would have been disappointed."
The King laughed at this, and for a moment, Cavin was able to let go of the knot holding his chest and laugh a little. The King Gregor spoke.
"Let us sit down for a moment, Cavin."
Cavin looked at him, then at Destiny before he dropped the reins on the ground and followed the King to a stone bench that was placed on the ground. The King sighed heavily as he sat down, and Cavin sat beside him, feeling how the knot tightened again. It felt like he sat down with the enemy for a short moment. He should say something, something to either defend of excuse his behavior inside, but he didn't know how to express it.
But King Gregor went on directly. "I will not lie to you, Cavin. In light of what has happened, I think it is time you get to understand certain things that is going on. As long as we have known you... you deserve to know the truth."
Cavin felt the words like a hit in his chest. Now it comes, he thought. Now he'll confront me too. he bit his teeth hard and pressed his lips together to a thin line and prepared himself for what would come. Had he been younger, he would already have felt tears well up in his eyes that he would struggle to hold back during the whole confrontation. He had always been like that as young. But he was a man now, and he refused to allow himself to be childish in front of the King now. So he prepared himself for whatever was coming.
"When it comes to Calla…" the King begun, "...she hasn't been all well, ever since she gave birth to her daughter."
His words made Cavin open his mouth wide and turn to the King with it and his eyes wide open. This was the last he had expected. "Eh- what? Not well? What do you mean, Sire? Is... is she ill?"
The King sighed heavily. "About… it should be almost one and a half year soon, since she came down with a little daughter. And ever since then, she… , well, it actually started a while later, a few months I think. And then she became so nervous, anxious and worried. She's not acting like herself at all at times."
Cavin struggled to find words. "But… what was wrong? Wasn't the child healthy?"
"Oh yes, it was healthy. It was a lovely little baby girl, as strong as anyone could wish for. But…." The King said. "But after that, she… she became so different. She started to worry and react about the smallest things. She is especially protective over her child. I know it is normal that women... not all of them are prepared for the mother role, but they normally change their mind after they actually give birth. And Calla... You should have seen how proud she was when she had managed through the labors and were finally holding the little thing in her arms. She looked so relieved that it was over and so proud that she had made it. But it's not of that kind. I am afraid it was something I said… right after the little lass had entered this world."
"What, my Lord?"
The King sighed heavily before he opened his mouth. "I... I said: She's a lovely thing, but next time..." he hesitated. "...next time, it will be a boy, won't it?" And now I am not even allowed into the nursery."
Cavin felt discomfort as soon as he finished the sentence. "Sire... if I may?" he turned to the King. He seemed to be alright with whatever he was about to say. "That was... THE absolute worst thing you could EVER have said to Calla. I mean- pardon me, my Lord, but... What were you thinking?"
It was obvious that the King felt discomfort about what he said, but Cavin continued to explain his outburst. Cavin couldn't help but understand Calla. For as long as he could remember, Calla had complained about that. "She always complained that she would never be good enough because she was a girl. And when she gets to know that her daughter will get the same mark? I understand her perfectly. I don't blame her at all."
The King looked at him, obviously his words had hit a spot. "But do you think it's reason enough to deny me to see her at all? My own granddaughter? The King's very own and only granddaughter?"
"Well... maybe that's a bit of an overreaction, but..." Cavin let his hand run through the hair on his forehead. " I'm sorry! I shouldn't actually have anything to say about this."
"Maybe not, but..." King Gregor stumbled and swallowed. "You and Calla have known each other for... a long time. And because of that you... probably understand her better. What you said actually makes sense."
Those words made Cavin look away. He had thought that he had to go through with it sooner or later anyway, so at sudden he decided that he would take the word himself. He rose from the bench and looked down at the King when he spoke. "Sire... I know perfectly well where we are standing, Calla and I. I know how things are, and I know that I should just... get on with and... accept it, but..." He looked up again, staring right out in the air while he spoke again. "I can't change how I feel. I know I should, but I can't. I'm sorry!" His head sank halfway down again, closing his eyes hard. "My heart is betraying me there."
It didn't sound as serious as he wanted it to, his voice became a bit more emotional than he had intended. But the King didn't stop him. Instead he rose as well and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know, lad. I don't blame you, I certainly don't. I know how difficult it is for a young heart to change emotions. I have been there myself, and I know how it feels. And I... didn't actually prevent it from happening either. I admit that I let you and Calla get too close as children. And for that I am more sorry than you can imagine. If you have a weight on your heart, it is my fault. I want you to know that my own is just as heavy."
Cavin kept his gaze downwards. The Kings hand felt like a rock on his shoulder.
"If there's anything I can do to make up for that, let me know!"
He felt the grip get a bit harder.
"I don't want to loose you, lad. I can't afford that. I need you here. Please, don't abandon me now." His voice sounded sober in his voice now.
That made Cavin look up and into the Kings eyes. King Gregor seemed tired and worn out, but first now he noticed how sad he seemed. He really has to be upset about the matter with Calla, he thought.
Cavin had so much mixed emotions about King Gregor since Calla's wedding. At first he felt hate, for taking her away from him by marrying her off to someone else, then for taking him away from her by sending him to war. He had actually been shocked to realize how much he really had missed him when he first met him in the courtyard. And all the time as a child whenever he had been allowed to stay near the King, he had not only felt honored, but as he had gotten to prove himself, Cavin felt accepted in several ways and got included in many matters, which had made him feel rather important. Like when the war broke out. Then of course Cavin had been invited to join the plans.
Seeing the King like this, one of his long time masters, teachers, and seldom among squires, one of his friends; he felt his heart melt and take pity in him. He was surprised of how easy his heart changed. He wasn't certain what he really felt in the end when he answered: "Alright, my Lord. I... I won't leave just yet."
The smile on the Kings face exposed pure gratitude, and he pulled him into a light, but steady hug, which startled Cavin, but he ffound that he was actually able to returning it, discovering that he felt good about it.
When they broke it up, the King was smiling warmly to him, with a hint of shimmer in his old eyes. "Thank you, lad. You have no idea of what it means to me!"
Cavin could nothing but smile back.
Then the King sighed to get back into a serious mode. "Perhaps we should make sure Destiny don't put on too much weight?"
Cavin looked at the horse. He had walked to a tree that had long, tasty straws by it's roots, and weren't ready to leave them when Cavin came to pick up his reins. They he and the King started walking towards the stables. King Gregor let Cavin put Destiny back into his box and change his water before the two walked towards the Castle's side entrance. Then the King began speaking again.
"There is actually a matter I have wanted to... discuss with you." he started. "When it comes to your knighthood. "
"Oh?" Cavin answered.
"You will begin already tonight with the preparations. Tonight you will spend in the chamber of the church, where you will pray and get cleaned and confess for the Bishop. And then tomorrow, Rudy will be helping you wash up and assist you in the dressing. And then there will be a huge banquet where we will present you to the court. Most of them already know you, so it will be quite easily, you'll see."
"Eh.. right." Cavin felt a bit overwhelmed by the sudden description. "I... I hadn't actually expected ti to be such a grand.. thing."
King Gregor chuckled. "Don't you worry about it. Once you are through with it, everything will settle. And there is also another thing."
Cavin let him speak.
"Sir Tuxford could tell, and many others as well, that you were quite brave during the battles. And that you led an operation of your own."
"That was Sir Victor's idea." he answered.
"It's about time that you, not only reach the rank of knighthood, but that you receive a title of your own. And maybe some land as well!"
"Ah... a what?" Cavin arched an eyebrow. "Pardon me, Your Majesty... I..."
"I know your Grandfather wasn't so uptaken with that. He was always satisfied with his knighthood and the small lands he owned, But I think you deserve it, lad. We have discussed it, and we are going to let you choose whatever title and landmarks you would prefer."
"Geez, I... I don't know what to say."
"But in return..." the King continued. "I had hoped it could be possible to talk about, eh... you know that some years ago, your Grandfather bought up about half the forest from me. We needed the money dearly to restore the castle and the village by Igthorn's damage, but... What was he using the forest for anyway?"
"He..." Cavin chuckled. "You know... how he... believed he would one day prove the existence of the gummi bears?" Cavin coughed. "He and I, we... spent hours trying to find them."
The King looked at him, and then he broke into laughter. "Oh dear me... Did you ever..."
"Find anyone?" Cavin finished for him. "No, Sire, But we had so much fun hunting for them. Those Are memories I'll treasure."
The King coughed to become serious again. "Well, about the forest... there are the taxes for the road, and for the hunter league, and the woodcutters as well... I thought maybe if you received another landmark, maybe you won't mind returning the forest?"
"A change, huh?" Cavin chuckled as he realized that he was trying to barging with him. "I guess that's only fair. To be honest, My Lord, I had forgotten all about that." he couldn't help but laugh. Sir Gawain had bought the forest so they could rebuild Gummi Glen without disturbance. But he hadn't realized that he still owned it. Another matter was that he hadn't realized before now that all that part of the forest belonged to him now that Sir Gawain was dead. Spoken strictly, it would mean that he really owned Gummi Glen. That thought warmed him somehow. But even more, that made him dislike the thought of giving it up. "I'll think of it, Sire. It's allot of details, and... you know. To me, jsut the knighthood now is huge enough. but I'm open for a discussion."
"Of course, lad. Take your time. But we should start planning your future, after all. It would even be time for you to get yourself a page soon. There are plenty of young boys that needs..."
That was his cue. Cavin stopped and coughed. "Eh Sire... when it comes to that..." the King look at him. "I... actually already have someone in mind."
"Oh?" the king looked puzzled. "And who is this?"
"You don't know him, Sire. In fact you... weren't meant to. No one were. But things has changed and I... had hoped to help him on his way."
"Oh?"
"But I promise, my Lord, he has potential!"
"Well, if you say so, but who is he? Who is his father?"
Cavin smiled. "You're never going to guess! I guarantee, Sire; you won't be disappointed!" He paused. "But that is a story that should wait for another time."
"You are right, lad." The King said. "I have things to do, and you have things to prepare for. You should go to your room and have yourself a rest before tonight."
Cavin realized how tired he was at sudden. It had been a long day with lots of impressions and happenings, and the King's words had made him long for bed. And if he was going to spend the night in the church, he needed some sleep.
The King stopped by a door. "Go and have a rest now. I'll send Rudy up to you when time is to go."
Cavin bowed for him. "Aright, Your Highness. Thanks." He started walking towards the other corridor. The King looked puzzled after him, and then he suddenly realized what he was doing and came giggling back. "My room. It's not there anymore." he said and ponted backwards with his thumb. "How will I ever get used to it?"
The King laughed and pointed up the stairs.
Cavin nodded and smiled foolishly as he walked up the stairs, feeling like an idiot, but at earse that he at least had cleared things out with His Highness.
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"What do you mean you didn't tell him?"
The gummies were gathered in the Main Hall. Gruffi looked at the others in shock while he yelled at the others. Gusto looked on the other end of the room, not facing Gruffi, Tummi stood with his hands on his back looking down, and Cubbi looked at Zummi while he stumbling explained the situation.
"We tried to, Gruffi, but we were interrupted. And before we knew it, he was lorced to feave… eh- forced to leave." Zummi stumbled.
"We didn't remember before it was too late, Gruffi." Cubbi stepped forward and explained. "But he felt that he had to go. I tried to go after him to the Castle, but..."
Gruffi widened his eyes while he barked out. "Don't tell me you actually went to the Castle!"
"Eh..." Cubbi stepped back. "I... I-I had to! I..."
"I cannot believe this!" Gruffi leaned his hands on the table in a great moan. Gusto came over and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Calm down' Gruffamondo. Cav will come down here eventually-eh… sooner or later." His certain voice faded as Gruffi turned his head around and gave him a glare, causing Gusto to remove his hand quickly.
"And you promised we would be there during the ceremony?" Gruffi looked up. "How could you be so thoughtless? We swore that we..."
"I know, Gruffi. I know." Zummi said looking down with sad eyes. "We... We forgot."
Cubbi wriggled slightly on himself and looked up with his head still lowered. "Uhm... Maybe she won't notice us this time?" he said meekly.
"I don't know..." Gruffi sighed. "She were pretty angry the last time we tried to be around."
There was a deep silence in the room for a whole minute. They all looked down in the floor or at each other to figure out if they had a better solution. The atmosphere were quite tense before Tummi broke the silence at last.
"I think Cavin will be very upset if we don't go. It's a wery important day for him, and... we're the only family he has left now... right?"
"Of course he will!" Gruffi growled and sat down in a chair and sighed.
"Hey guys, really." Gusto said. "Think it through: do you really imagine she will notice? I mean, it's been a while since last time. It's not likely that she will figure out. And this time, we'll all be careful."
"I don't know." Gruffi said. "She did last time."
"Well..." Grammi said. "I for my part will NOT let our human boy down on the most important day in his life! I'm going!"
"You're right!" Zummi nodded beside her. "Cavin has been through enough. He needs this. I'll go as well!"
"We'll all go!" Gusto declared before the rest managed to answer. "It's a statement!"
"YEAH!" Cubbi cried out, making a jump as he did so.
"Alright alright, we'll go!" Gruffi said sat up in the chair, his paws tightly around the arm leans. "But we're NOT staying more than we have to! Is that clear?"
