Coming of Age

Act VII – The Beavis of the Opera Part I

"Remember guys," Van Driessen explained to the group as they walked down the streets of New York City. "New York can be a very rough place, especially at night."

"It can't get as rough as that guy who was with Beavis's mom last night!" Butt-head declared.

"Shut up Butt-head!" Beavis retorted. "I'll kick your ass!"

Just as Beavis was about to step onto the street to cross the road, a taxi swerved over, nearly smashing into the blonde. Beavis yelled and fell back onto the sidewalk with Butt-head laughing at his situation profusely. As Beavis cursed angrily, Stewart and Van Driessen quickly helped him back up to his feet.

"Watch where you're walking, asshole!" the cab driver yelled from the distance.

"You really ought to be more careful, Beavis," Butt-head suggested. "Huh huh huh!"

"See, the Big Apple can be a dangerous place if you're not careful," reminded Van Driessen.

"Huh huh, Big Apple!" Butt-head chuckled.

"I'll take two, please," Beavis laughed. "Heh heh heh! And make 'em big and round!"

"So where do you guys want to go?" Van Driessen asked.

"I want to check out the fashion designer stores in this city," Cassandra replied. "The art schools here are also worth a look."

"I want to check out some of the cool Broadway plays they have!" Stewart exclaimed.

Butt-head glanced up to see a Virgin Records mega-store located several blocks down the street. He nudged Beavis who quickly noticed the sight as well. It was what they had been waiting for through the whole trip.

"Uh, Beavis and I are gonna go check out the new Megadeth CDs," Butt-head told Van Driessen.

"That sounds good," Van Driessen agreed. "Tell you what, let's all meet back here by five o'clock on 16th Street?"

Stewart and Cassandra nodded and walked off together. Van Driessen took off as well while Beavis and Butt-head stared blankly.

"Let's go check that new place out," Butt-head recommended. "Maybe they have the new GWAR album too."

"Yeah!" Beavis agreed. "New York is gonna kick ass!"


They had been inside the AX Armani Exchange store for almost twenty minutes. In all this time, Cassandra had been trying out the latest fashions from Europe. Stewart, in the meantime, was sitting idly by while his friend enjoyed her binge. After this, they had plans on going to Ellis Island. By late afternoon, they would rendezvous with Van Driessen and the duo to go see The Phantom of the Opera on Broadway.

"How does this look, Stewart?" Cassandra unveiled the new scarf that had been imported from Denmark.

"Looks good," Stewart flashed a thumbs-up.

Just then, Stewart's cell phone rang. Curiously, Stewart picked it up and saw that it was from Dean. He flipped it open to speak.

"Hey Stewart," Dean greeted.

"Hi Dean," Stewart replied. "How's Tokyo?"

"The food here is great!" Dean affirmed. "We've gone around everywhere from the city to Mount Fuji!"

"Anything else going on right now?" Stewart asked.

"Actually, I discovered this on my laptop just a while ago," said Dean. "I just found out from the Washington Post that two of the nation's worst criminals have escaped and officials believe they're hiding out in NYC right now."

"Who are they?" Stewart seemed a bit more cautious.

"I'm not sure," Dean replied. "There was an incident with them in Washington, DC a few years ago but it was hushed up by the government. My sources tell me they're a Bonnie and Clyde couple who commit crimes together. I'll be sure to keep you updated on any more information I find."

"Thanks Dean."

"Don't sweat it. And don't worry too much about it. This is just to give you a heads-up. For all intents and purposes, nothing's going to happen. Just enjoy your vacation!"

"Thanks, Dean. Talk to you later."

"See you later, Stewart."

"What was that about?" Cassandra asked.

"Not much," Stewart replied, forgetting all about Dean's news about the Bonnie and Clyde couple. "It was Dean. He's all the way in Tokyo right now."

"How is he doing?" Cassandra asked.

"Dean's alright," Stewart replied. "He's been to Mount Fuji already."

"Tokyo must be an exciting place for him," Cassandra remarked. "Just like New York City is an exciting place for all of us."

"I wonder how Beavis and Butt-head are doing," Stewart mused. "I hope they don't get lost. New York is a big place after all."

"Don't worry, Stewart," Cassandra told him. "They should be fine."

"That's good," Stewart breathed more easily. "I'd hate to lose them out here."

"Stewart, I am a bit concerned actually," Cassandra told him.

"Why's that?"

"I believe that deep down, both Beavis and Butt-head are decent people. But don't you feel that they take advantage of you sometimes?"

"I… guess not," Stewart confessed. "I mean, I've known them since kindergarten."

"But sometimes they take more than their fair share," Cassandra commented. "There are times when they don't treat you as an equal."

"Aww, they're just kidding around," Stewart waved. "We're such great friends that we can joke around like that."

Cassandra looked somewhat convinced, but not completely. Before she could press the issue any further, she and Stewart were interrupted by a couple behind them talking loudly over the wife's clothing.

"So how does this look on me, Muddy?"

"You look like a new woman, Dallas!" the man cried. "I'd take you in a heartbeat!"

"Now let's get out of here," Dallas, the blonde-haired woman, said to her husband. "We need to get to Ellis Island by tomorrow and we'll need all the supplies we can get. And don't forget we have a play to attend tonight."

"Huh," Muddy, the beer-bellied guy, muttered as he lifted up all the bags his wife had gathered. "Lousy little whore… thinks she can tell me what to do…"

Dallas pushed past Stewart and Cassandra rudely to get to the cashier. Before Stewart could protest their treatment, Muddy shoved him aside with one hand and walked on through.

"Out of my way, squirt!" ordered Muddy.

"I enjoy New York," Cassandra noted. "But the people here can be rather rude."

"Ah well," Stewart got up. "Better to forget about it and have fun tonight with The Phantom of the Opera."

"Have you seen it before?" Cassandra asked.

"Not really, what's it about?"

"It's a Gothic Novel translated onto the theatre," Cassandra explained. "It has all the elements of love, betrayal, tragedy, comedy, and adventure."

"Sounds like something everyone can get into."

"The play is something you'll have to experience for yourself," Cassandra smiled. "Then your life will feel complete."


"New York kicks ass!" Beavis stated as he and Butt-head walked down the streets. "It's, like, you can do whatever you want here!"

"Yeah," Butt-head agreed. "Kind of like how that bum mugged you a few minutes ago, huh huh huh!"

"It's like, I didn't have any cash!" Beavis complained. "But he was all, 'Hey man, give me all your money, punk!'"

"Hey Beavis, think Van Driessen's gonna take us to see the Statue of Liberty?"

"I hope so," Beavis said. "Then we can see if we can peak up her skirt or something!"

"That would be cool!" Butt-head agreed. "We can get up close and personal with some giant chick! We can even get underneath her skirt!"

"Yeah! yeah!" Beavis cried. "Then we can climb up her legs and feel her thingies!"

"There you guys are," a familiar voice behind them rang out. "I was wondering what you were up to."

"Uh, hey," Butt-head greeted Van Driessen unenthusiastically.

"It's been over a few hours," Van Driessen noted. "Have you boys had fun?"

"Plenty of it, sir," Beavis replied. "I got mugged, heh heh heh!"

"Are you alright, Beavis?" Van Driessen asked with concern. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No, but he made Beavis wet his pants when he pulled out his knife!" Butt-head cut in.

"Shut up Butt-head!" Beavis yelled. "I never wet my pants!"

"Oh yeah," Butt-head pointed to the small wet stain still visible on Beavis's shorts. "Then what do you call that?"

"Um, I ran through one of those drinking fountains!" Beavis insisted.

"Ah, was that through the Central Park?" asked Van Driessen.

"No," Butt-head replied. "But I threw bread crumbs all over Beavis and a bunch of pigeons attacked him! Huh huh huh!"

"Heh heh heh m heh heh!" Beavis laughed alongside his companion. "One of them tried to peck my nads!"

"It's a good thing you guys made it through the day," Van Driessen told them. "Now come on, Cassandra and Stewart are waiting for us."


The gang had gotten front seat tickets thanks to arriving early and on time. Stewart and Cassandra were anticipating the play the most while Van Driessen sat back and fiddled with the small drum he had obtained at the international market. Beavis could only stare up at the decorations for the theatre and chuckle in awe. Butt-head was far less impressed and was interested only in the actresses and dancers he had seen earlier going backstage into their lockers.

"Damn it!" Butt-head protested. "When's this play gonna start?"

"Be patient, guys," Van Driessen told them. "The actors are still getting ready for the play. It might start within the next thirty minutes."

"We gotta wait?" asked Butt-head incredulously. "That sucks!"

"Why don't you guys go get some refreshments?" Van Driessen suggested. "You can kill some time that way."

"Come on, Beavis," Butt-head told his companion. "Let's get some popcorn."

"Okay, heh heh heh!" Beavis nodded compliantly.

As the duo headed down to the stands, they noticed further down towards the stage a rather attractive young woman heading through a door. Butt-head was the first to take notice and grabbed Beavis's shoulder to signal his interest. Beavis looked down just in time to capture a glimpse of her backside going through the stage entrance.

"Whoa, heh heh!" Beavis exclaimed. "That chick was hot!"

"Let's go down there and get her number!" Butt-head declared.


"Uh, where'd she go?" Butt-head shook his head.

He and Beavis had been in the dressing room for three minutes and thus far, there was no sign of the girl they had been looking for. All they had seen were actors dressed up in their elaborate costumes to play their roles in the act.

"You ready to play as Raoul?" a dark-haired man in a mask asked his partner.

"I got the first night jitters," his friend replied. "But this is something I've been wanting to do."

"Well, we'd better get a drink first," the masked man smiled as he and his companion headed into the recreational room.

Unknowingly, Butt-head tripped over a broom that fell over and lodged its way onto the door, trapping it in place and unwittingly bolting the two men inside. He and Beavis walked down until they saw a changing room with its door hanging open.

"Maybe she's in there," Butt-head observed. "Let's check it out."

After going inside, the chick was nowhere to be found. They did see, however, two costumes lying on the ground that caught their attention. One was a fairly good-looking Victorian-era suit that held much stylishness. The other sat alongside a white mask that one could put over their head.

"Hey, this stuff looks pretty cool," Beavis remarked.

"Yeah," Butt-head concurred. "Let's put it on!"

"I get the one with the mask!" Beavis pushed Butt-head aside to reach for his favored costume first.


Daria Morgendorffer had never been one for larger-than-life plays involving passion, drama, betrayal, and overacting in general. She preferred reading them through books more often than not. Now, though, she was on a trip to New York with her best friend Jane Lane. They had decided to travel together for the summer before college could really begin.

Her high school career had faced ups and downs through her tenure at Lawndale. She had learned firsthand the rigors of teen melodrama, something she prayed that she would never be involved with.

But nonetheless, she had gone through it and come out stronger than ever, especially in her friendship with Jane. She recalled the moments where their camaraderie with each other had been nearly destroyed because of a boy. It had not been one of her finer moments, especially since she made out with him in his car during a heated argument that led to the whole mess.

But fortunately for her and Jane, high school was now over and they were ready to move on with their lives.

"You seen a little pensive," Jane remarked.

"Just wondering why so many New York tax dollars were funneled into the production of this play," Daria replied.

"You oughta relax," suggested Jane. "All our troubles are behind us. We've got a clean slate to work with now that high school's done."

"I don't know," Daria said uneasily. "I just get this feeling that something from the past is going to come back and bite me."

"Is it about that whole Tom thing?" Jane asked.

No answer.

"Listen Daria," Jane told her. "What's done is done. It's in the past now. I'm certainly not upset with you anymore."

"It's not that," Daria explained. "It's something else."

"Either ways, you should take it easy," Jane told her. "New York's a big town. If the Big Apple doesn't woo you, the Phantom should."

"I can hardly contain my joy," Daria noted.


"Uh, I think this is the place," Butt-head peered at the door.

"We're finally gonna do it…" Beavis was almost frothing at the mouth. "This is it…"

"Calm down, Beavis," replied Butt-head. "We gotta, like, talk to her first or something."

Butt-head opened the door that led to the dressing room of the actress who played Christine Daae. Interestingly enough, the actress who played the character based off of Gaston Leroux's novel was also called Christine. He and Beavis looked around the room carefully. There was no sign of her so far.

"Damn it!" cried Beavis. "Where is she?

"Hey there fellas," one of the stagehands peeked his head through the door. "Are you guys ready?"

"Uh, ready for what?" Butt-head demanded.

"The play's already started and you, Raul, will be needed," the stagehand explained to Butt-head and then looked to Beavis. "Your singing part with Christine is coming up too."

"I didn't know you could sing," Butt-head looked at Beavis curiously.

"I didn't know either," Beavis replied. "Heh heh heh heh heh…"

"Don't tell me you took singing lessons from Van Driessen," Butt-head grimaced.

"No way! He plays wuss music!"

"That's good to hear."

"Come on guys," the stagehand gestured for Butt-head to follow him. "Your part is coming up soon."

"Wish me luck, Beavis," Butt-head ordered.

"Oh yeah, heh heh… good luck."


Despite her initial reservations, Daria Morgendorffer now found herself enjoying the play more and more. True, it was pompous, overblown, and ridden with so much grandiose clichés that reeked of Hollywood melodrama but underneath it all, the play was enjoyable purely for its grand spectacles of human behavior. That, in itself, was worth watching.

"You were right, Jane," Daria commented. "Guess I should give the producers some credit. When they want to make a larger-than-life theatrical production, they really deliver the goods."

"What did I tell you, Daria?" Jane smirked. "I knew you'd enjoy the play."

"It's like the whole setup is an archetypal story designed to appeal to the deepest recesses of our subconscious minds.

"You can't fault the producers," Jane shrugged. "They certainly succeed in that regard."

"Makes you wonder if they'll ever try to translate Star Wars onto Broadway."

"Beats me," said Jane. "Say, doesn't that one actor look a bit out of place?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, to be blunt, most of the actors and actresses here are drop-dead gorgeous," Jane told her. "Raul doesn't seem to fit the description."

"Raul?" Daria asked before recalling what the pamphlet on the play had told her. She had almost forgotten that Raul was the romantic prospect who competed with the Phantom for Christine Daae's love.

"Right over there," Jane handed the binoculars over to Daria.

Curiously, Daria picked up the binoculars. Since they sat on one of the top echelon seats, they had more difficulty seeing the faces of the characters. After one careful examination, Daria almost fell back onto her seat in shock. Fortunately, Jane was there to catch her before she fell.

"Oh my God... is that who I think it is?"

To be continued.