Okay, if you've been wondering why on earth i've labeled this as M instead of something else, just you wait. This chapter is the beginning of all that lemony-lime stuff... Again I don't own Harry nor Draco so don't try and sue me for having fun!!

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After Jessie agreed to stay, Tabitha called the cafeteria and ordered the 'Afternoon Delight with extra sexy spice' and two regular continental breakfasts.

Forty-five minutes later there was a knock on the office door. "Room service."

Tabitha laughed and opened the door, "Don't you mean Fan Service?"

"No," smiled Tramon, "I'm delivering to your room aren't I?"

"It's an office dear, not my room," giggled Tabitha she picked up the two continentals she ordered and eyed the other items on the cart Tramon used to bring in the food. "No pulani?"

Tramon laughed and shook his head as he walked in the office. Tabitha shrugged and sent the food into the cell with a flick of her wrist then joined the other two.

"Have I missed anything yet?" asked Tramon as he settled himself against Tabitha's file cabinet on the wall opposite the one way mirror.

"No… but why do you care?" asked Tabitha with a raised eyebrow, a fork full of eggs poised in front of her mouth.

Tramon ducked his head, embarrassed. "It's just that it's funny to watch, that's all…"

Jessica and Tabitha did the slow nod thing that basically said 'okay then' without actually saying it.

"Well," said Tabitha after swallowing the food that was in her mouth and swatting Tramon away from her bacon, "I was just about to wake them up. This should be interesting." Tabitha flipped on the lights and pushed a goldenrod colored button on the control panel.

Suddenly, trumpet fan fare erupted from the speakers in the cell , jolting the boys awake.

All three watching from the office began laughing.

Harry groaned and tried to roll over but somehow ended up on top of a really sleepy Draco.

Stunned, they both stared at each other's faces blankly before Draco pushed Harry off of him violently, knocking him to the cold, hard floor. But, since Harry was cuffed to Draco, Malfoy got pulled down on top of Harry.

Draco and Harry stared at each other once again before Harry shouted, "What the hell?!?"

All three in the office were laughing so hard they thought that they were going to wet themselves. None of them could have asked for a better scenario.

"Stay the bloody hell off me!" yelled Harry, pushing Malfoy away.

That pissed Draco off and he shoved back just as hard, starting an all out brawl.

If it hadn't of been so funny to watch two teen age guys, in dresses and hand cuffed together, it would have been… Hell who am I kidding, the scene was funnier than a fat kid belly flopping; you just know that it hurt but you can't help but laugh.

Tabitha let them fight, well try to fight since they weren't getting much done with the cuffs on, until both were sprawled on the floor exhausted.

"Now that you two beauties are awake, may I point out to you the breakfast table is set out for your enjoyment," said Tabitha calmly though in side she was cracking up, "If you're hungry, go ahead and eat."

Draco's blonde head popped up, "Food? For us? Get up Harry, I'm hungry and I have to pee. My basilisk feels like its going to explode from all that pee."

"I didn't bloody need to know that," said Harry unhappily as Draco dragged him to his feet.

As they maneuvered over to the table of food, both of them caught sight of their reflections in the one way mirror and froze.

Jessica and Tramon began to laugh but Tabitha shushed them and said over the p.a. system, "I hope you don't mind. I've taken the liberty of making a few relatively small changes."

"TABITHA!" thundered Harry furiously.

Jessica and Tramon turned on Tabitha, eyebrows raised in question.

"What?" she asked after turning the microphone off, "You really didn't expect me to tell them my real name did you?"

"No," answered Tramon, forehead creased, "but Kristen, why Tabitha?"

Tabitha shrugged, "Dunno. Just liked the name I guess."

Jessie and Tramon shrugged as Harry yelled, "Tabitha, I know you're in there! Answer me damn it!"

"Must I," sighed Tabitha.

"Dresses Tabitha? You had to put us in dresses?" growled Harry angrily.

"Nope. I didn't," said Tabitha cheerfully as she waved by to Jessie was paged and had to get back to her office.

"If you didn't, who did?" asked Draco, confused.

"You two did," she responded.

The look on both boys' faces made both Tramon and Tabitha crack up.

"Are you sure? I probably would have picked a better color to suit Harry. Purple just isn't his color," said Draco as he examined Harry critically.

Harry growled and raised his hand, and Draco's, and threatened to hit his cell mate. Draco wisely backed off.

"And this is another thing," spat Harry, " First you dress us up as girls, but to add insult to injury you handcuffed us together!"

"That's right," beamed Tabitha.

"And the key are…?" asked Harry, trying to calm down and get the information needed.

Tabitha shrugged, "Beats me, I gave them to you two last night and told you to put them somewhere. I don't know where you hid them but I'm sure I don't want to know either."

Harry fumed and Draco's stomach growled so loudly that the mics in the cell picked it up, allowing Tabitha and Tramon to hear it in the cell. Harry looked at Draco, amazed.

Draco laughed weakly, "I told you I was starving."

Harry rolled his eyes and said, "Fine… we'll eat."

Getting to the table of food wasn't a problem but what was a problem was actually sitting down in a comfortable position and eating. As they soon found out, two people can't move the same hand to do two separate tasks when cuffed together. Finally, The guys resolved to feed each other their incredibly large omelets with tomato, chicken, some kind of mushroom, pine nuts and, of all things, chili peppers.

"Ooh, this is good!" exclaimed Draco around a mouthful of omelet, making Harry cringe in disgust.

Once the omelet was gone, Harry uncovered another dish and found oysters, all ready opened and ready to eat.

"Oysters? For breakfast?" asked Draco with a wrinkled nose.

"Haven't you ever had something for breakfast when it wasn't a breakfast food?" chided Tabitha lightly, "If you eat them as they are and eat one after another then I believe it's called kamikaze shots. But don't hold me to it if I'm wrong."

"How about it Harry," said Draco mischievously, "Think you can stomach oysters as well as I can?"

Harry's eyes narrowed, "You're on Malfoy. Tabitha, if you would so kind as to tell us when to start."

"Of course," purred Tabitha, barely suppressing her laughter. Tramon too was having a hell of a time keeping quite since he knew what she was trying to do to them with the oysters. "On the count of three. One…two…THREE!"

Oyster after poor oyster was downed by both guys until they were all gone. Harry counted his as Draco counted his.

"How many did you eat?" asked Harry with a triumphant smile.

"Twenty-four," said Draco with a smile of his own, "How many did you manage to swallow?"

Harry leaned back as far as the cuffs allowed, smiled even bigger and said, "Twenty-six."

Draco made a face. "Damn Potter, I didn't think you'd be able to handle it. I was wrong."

Harry basked in the glow of his slight victory, but decided to be fair and toasted Draco with a mug of hot coffee. Draco toasted back with his half empty glass of chocolate milk.

Twenty minutes later, after both Harry and Draco had eaten to the point where they didn't want to move, Harry made a face of pain then relaxed again. A minute later he was bent over, clutching not his stomach but the his crotch, and crying out in pain. Draco freaked out and didn't know what to do.

"Tabitha! Do something!" Draco pleaded. It was something he never thought he'd do for Harry.

Tabitha, on the other hand didn't seem to find anything wrong. In fact she and Tramon were laughing so hard at Harry and Draco for falling for the laced food.

"TABITHA!" screamed Draco in panic. Harry moaned in pain, drawing Draco's attention back to Harry.

"Harry, Harry can you hear me?" asked Draco in fear.

"Malfoy, I'm in extreme pain, not deaf or dying. Though I would like to die at this very moment," said Harry bitterly then gasped as he experienced another wave of excruciating pain.

"Is there anything I can do to ease your pain?" asked Draco in concern.

Harry half closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. "I hate to say this or even ask you to even go there," said Harry, hands clenching and unclenching from the pain, "but it feels like there's something wrapped way too tight around my… my…"

"Your what Harry?" asked Draco.

"My… my…" stuttered Harry again. He just couldn't bring himself to say the word. Not to Draco and not like this.

"I think he means his dick, Draco," blurted Tabitha, her voice full of hardly suppressed amusement.

Draco looked from the one way mirror to Harry and back again at least twice before asking, "Is that right, Harry?"

Harry, eyes closed against the pain, bit his lip and nodded.

"I'll… see what it is," said Draco, voice cracking from the pain that was just beginning to take effect in him as well.

Now, I'm not sure they meant to do this but Harry was stretched out on the floor in the open space where Tabitha and Tramon could see with utmost clarity. Tabitha turned the camcorder back on and her eyebrows shot up when Draco lifted Harry's purple dress and she saw the incredibly large bulge that threatened to burst from Harry's underwear.

Tramon took that as a cue to cover Tabitha's eyes with his hand and she did the same to him so they were both blind to the situation.

The only thing they heard for a while was Harry's cries of pain. Finally with one last heart wrenching cry, Harry went silent and Draco whistled.

"Damn Harry," he exclaimed before grunting in pain, "I didn't know you were hung like a bloody horse!"

"What!?!" exclaimed Tabitha and Tramon at the same time. Lucky for them, the microphone was off and Draco didn't hear them.

"Feeling better?" asked Draco. There was silence except for the scrape of fabric being placed back where it had been before, so Tabitha and Tramon took it as a yes so they uncovered each other's eyes.

Harry looked a little pale and Draco danged something from his closed fist.

"Would you believe that one of the keys was tied to your impressive-"

"Don't even go there," cut in Harry as he raised himself off the floor. "Bloody hell that hurt."

Draco bit his lip and went ashen.

"Let me guess," said Harry more gruffly than he had anticipated, "your… organ… now hurts really bad."

Draco nodded and a single tear slid down his white cheek.

Harry sighed, "Okay, okay. I'll see what's wrong and make it all better… okay?"

Draco nodded again and Harry mentally kicked himself for sounding like a concerned mother.

Once again, Tabitha and Tramon covered each other's eyes so that they wouldn't see.

Draco whimpered then yelped so loud that it would have frightened a T-rex. Harry, on the other hand, did the unexpected. Harry laughed.

"You call that a basilisk? Seems more like an earth worm or a tadpole… Where's the rest of it?" teased Harry. Again there was the scraping of fabric and Tramon and Tabitha uncovered their eyes.

Draco was no longer pale white, he was flushed an angry red. "This is the thanks I get for helping you? Forget it! I don't want anything to do with you!" he spat like an angry cat.

Harry shrugged. "Fine then," he said calmly, "I guess, then, that you don't want or need this."

Draco's eyes widened as he saw the second key hanging from ripped fabric. "That was around… me?" he squeaked, "That was what was causing us so much pain?"

"Apparently," shrugged Harry, "But since you didn't want any thing to do with me I guess I'll just swallow it instead."

"DON'T!" said Draco forcefully, "I know you want to get out of these things as much as I do, so why don't we just take the bloody things off?"

"Good point," said Harry and unlocked the handcuffs using both keys.

Once the cuffs fell to the floor, Draco rubbed his sore wrists and Harry got up, drank another swallow of coffee and grimaced when he realized that it was cold.

Other than that, neither reacted upon all the Viagra laced food nor did they realize that their entire breakfast was created out of aphrodisiacs.

"This isn't working," muttered Tabitha, "Time to initiate phase two."