Sweat soaked through the back of Clarke's shirt as she stood in front of Lexa's apartment door. In all honesty the blonde wouldn't be able to give anyone a straight answer if they asked how she came to be standing in front of Lexa's door. It was as if her mind had ran on autopilot…leading her to the one place her mind didn't seem afraid of.

And she wasn't sure how her battered body had survived the walk across the campus. The harsh Florida sun hadn't done her any favors as it shined brightly in the sky, no clouds to cover it's burning rays. Less than halfway into her walk Clarke's ribs began to scream in protest urging her to sit down and rest at each bench she passed, but she simply kept going. If she had stopped Clarke probably wouldn't have had the courage to complete the rest of the journey. To throw the clothes into Lexa's arms and to tell her to stay away from her.

Her heart begged her not to push Lexa away.

Instead to run into the open arms that wanted to do nothing but help her -embrace her.

But Clarke knew that wasn't an option. Not with Anthony lurking behind the closed door of her house. Not with the fists that were ready to find it's target without a moment of hesitation. She wouldn't let that happen to Lexa. Clarke didn't want to be the cause of any pain that the brunette may experience. She wanted her safe.

But she didn't know why.

Lexa was a stranger to her…yet she made her feel safe. Something she hadn't felt in a long time. A feeling that seemed fleeting since Anthony moved in. The way she felt around Lexa…it was almost similar to how she felt when she was in her mother's arms during a storm.

Warm.

Comforted.

Safe.

Protected.

Not one person, other than her mother and father, had made her feel that certain way.

Not Raven.

Not Octavia.

No one.

And now, standing before Lexa's apartment door, hand poised to knock, Clarke knew that that feeling lingered behind said door. That Lexa lingered behind the door. Arms ready and open to accept Clarke when she was ready. Willing to help in every way possible…even though Clarke could never accept.

Her hand fell back to her side as her vision clouded with tears. One part of her screamed to knock, to bang on the door until Lexa opened it and let her rush into her arms. The other part…well that part just wanted to shove the clothes into those arms and yell at her to stay away. That part wanted to keep the brunette safe.

Clarke couldn't stop the battle welling inside her and soon she found herself backed against the wall opposite Lexa's apartment. Clothes dropped to the floor as pale hands gripped tightly at blonde locks, back sliding down against the cream colored wall. Soon, Clarke found herself seated on the floor of the hallway, knees tucked against her chest despite the pain, as the emotions roared inside her.

Protect her!

No! Let her help! Let her protect you!

Keep her away! It'll be your fault if she gets hurt!

She's the only one that can stop him! She can put an end to this!

The battle was endless. Seemed to last forever as Clarke lost all sense of everything around her. Salty tears trailed down rosy cheeks as her body rocked slightly. So overwhelmed with her mind and heart Clarke couldn't have noticed the figure that was making it's way in her direction.

"Clarke?"

Startled blue orbs flew open and shot to the side to see the object of her internal battle standing before her. A coffee cup in hand, hair tied up into a messy bun, backpack slung loosely onto her shoulder…Lexa was the epitome of effortless beauty. But Clarke didn't have time to fully appreciate the taller woman as she dropped down next to her, coffee forgotten on the ground next to them.

"Clarke, look at me. Tell me what's wrong," Lexa demanded gently.

And still she said nothing. Only allowed her eyes to become lost in the worried green forest that was Lexa's eyes. There was that feeling again. Warm. Safe. Protected. For once, Clarke let herself revel in it. Bathed herself in it, knowing that in the very near future…she wouldn't be able to feel this way again. At least not for a while.

"I…I came to return your clothes," Clarke whispered, her voice rough from her crying.

Lexa's eyes roamed over her body before landing on the clothes for a short second and then turning back to her,"You were gone when I woke up. I thought for sure I wouldn't see you for a while."

Clarke's eyes widened. Lexa didn't want her here. She expected her to stay away. To not see her for another few weeks like she had previously done the first time. She had made a mistake. This was a mistake. She shouldn't be here.

The blonde quickly scrambled to her feet, flinching slightly at the fast movement,"I'm sorry. You don't want me here. I should go. I'm sorry."

Before she was able to throw herself down the hallway, Lexa's hand clasped her's softly, pulling her towards her body by a few inches.

"That's not what I meant. I just…I thought I scared you. I brought you here after your panic attack, dressed you in my clothes, and was asleep when you woke up. You probably had no idea where you were. Probably scared to death. I…I guess I just thought that since I basically scared you the last time that I wouldn't see you for a few weeks again," Lexa's eyes darted down to the clothes at their feet before glancing back to Clarke,"But I'm glad you're here. I want you to know that you can always come to me. That I'll help you when you need it."

The hand that held her's was soft and warm. Inviting. An offer that Lexa had just voiced. An offer of help. Of protection. This overwhelmed Clarke's mind. Not once since Anthony's first touch against her skin had Clarke felt this much safety. This much…care. And it didn't help that all of that was in the form of a beautiful brunette. One that invaded Clarke's thoughts whether she liked it or not.

"I just wanted to return your clothes to you," Clarke said, her hand unconsciously tightening around Lexa's as she prepared herself for what she was about to say next.

When the courage had built up enough inside her Clarke opened her mouth to speak, only to be cut off by a tiny gasp from Lexa.

"Clarke, you're bleeding."

Azure eyes darted down to their joined hands where a small trail of blood ran down from under Clarke's shirt. The crimson liquid spilled between their two palms and when Lexa pulled her hand away to cup her elbow, Clarke could see the patch of blood that coated her palm. Her heart rate increased as she realized just what was happening. Lexa was once again witnessing the results of one of her 'lessons'. This time in the form of blood. In the form of cuts that stayed hidden under the sleeve of her shirt.

"Here, come inside. You can clean up and I can get you some bandages," Lexa said hastily, already unlocking her door and pushing Clarke inside, swiping the clothes and coffee cup up in her wake.

Clarke stood awkwardly, nervously, in Lexa's living room, eyes still somewhat trained on the small river of blood that ran down her arm. She could faintly hear the brunette down the hallway rummaging through what was likely to be her medicine cabinet. When Clarke's eyes lifted, she caught sight of the clothes that she had worn sitting on the arm of the couch.

She wondered if Lexa had taken notice of the dozens of tiny cuts that littered the fabric. She wondered if she was upset and didn't want to talk about it…or simply had't seen it.

"Took me a minute but I found some badges and something to clean the…cut with," Lexa said uncertainly as she walked back over to Clarke, not sure if it was necessarily a cut that the blood flowed from.

As the objects were held out to her the blonde could do nothing but stare at them. Something in her brain told her to take them. To turn around and quickly remove the evidence of her wounds. But something else entirely told her to let Lexa see. Show her the harm that Anthony had inflicted upon her body.

And the battle was back again, but this time Lexa was there to ground her. To keep her anchored and calm.

Clarke could feel her body being guided over to the couch, the same spot she had been in the previous day. Gentle hands pushed her down onto the soft cushions before Lexa settled down next to her, the previously offered objects finding a place in her lap as she reached for Clarke's arm.

"Is this okay?" The brunette asked cautiously.

Yes.

No.

Battle shifting, Clarke could sense the need of wanting to feel protected rising to the surface. Her muddled brain becoming defeated by her heart as she slowly nodded. Lexa was going to see her at her most vulnerable once again. The first being Anthony's hand-shaped bruise around her arm, then the bruises along her back…and now the tiny cuts that covered her arms and legs.

She prepared herself for the worst as Lexa began to carefully roll the sleeve of her shirt up. Clarke waited for the sound of disgust at the sight of the wounds. For Lexa to shove her arm away and tell her to leave…that her body was a disgrace. But it never came. Instead she heard the soft, strangled intake of breath as the small bandages that covered her arm became visible. Blue eyes caught the one bandage that covered a particularly large cut with blood running from under the surface, no longer able to hold the amount of blood that seeped out. Clarke honestly hadn't thought that any of them were that bad, most being shallow and had stopped bleeding after she had removed the glass. She just prayed that she didn't need stitches.

"Clarke…Tell me what happened," Lexa growled.

The blonde was shocked by the sudden hostile tone that overcame the brunette next to her. Shockingly…Clarke wasn't scared. Didn't cower away as she waited for a fist to strike. No. That tone, the tone that Lexa used…didn't frighten her. Instead it made her feel protected. Just like Lexa had unknowingly been making her feel from the very beginning.

She couldn't do this.

Clarke wasn't sure if it was the force that Anthony had hit her with that was causing her to do the usual. Normally she wouldn't let anyone get close enough to brush against her let alone fully touch and visibly gaze upon her wounds. Lexa was a curveball in her life. Threw her life into a swirling mess that she couldn't seem to control.

Nothing was making sense.

She couldn't do this.

At the moment, while Lexa was carefully pulling away the blood soaked bandage, Clarke was beyond confused. She never allowed this to happen. Didn't want anyone's help —didn't want anyone to discover her secret…yet here she was letting Lexa see her as she was.

Beaten.

Broken.

Mind and heart battling.

Nothing was making sense.

What was this woman doing to her? What was so different about Lexa that it made Clarke feel safe? Protected? What made Clarke want to protect her almost as fiercely as she did her mother? What made her so special that she wanted the woman nowhere near Anthony?

Maybe it was because Lexa couldn't seem to stand seeing Clarke hurt. Maybe it was the way her fingers had brushed against her bruised flesh…the way she pleaded for Clarke to let her help her. Or the she had lead her out of her panic attack, heart beating strongly against her hand.

A heart that yearned to help her.

A small hiss sprung from Clarke's lips as Lexa rubbed a small bit of antibiotic ointment over the cut.

"Sorry," Lexa said softly, still rubbing the product over the wound.

Once the pain died down a little Clarke let her eyes linger on Lexa. The brunette was completely engaged in making sure the cut was completely covered with the ointment before she put the bandage on. Clarke was a little surprised when she checked the rest of the badges that covered her arm, slowly moving the sleeve of her shirt up as she went. And before she could stop Lexa from pushing it over her elbow…she had seen the last thing she wanted her to see.

"Clarke…is that?"

The blonde looked away in shame. No one, not even Anthony had seen the scar that she had inflicted upon herself. No one had ever seen it because it made her vulnerable. It showed that at one point or another she had contemplated whether her life was worth anything. If the world would miss her if she took her own life. And Clarke knew that where she had began to cut that long time ago, that it wouldn't kill her…that it would only leave a scar to serve and remind her of what she her mind sometimes thought of.

That maybe life would be better if she wasn't in it.

Fingers found her chin and lifted it so green eyes could meet blue. The blonde was surprised to see the fierce amount of determination that sprung forth in Lexa's eyes. As if they were trying to will her to believe that she was worth so much more. That her life mattered.

"Listen to me, Clarke. Nothing is worth taking your life. You can and will get through this. Just let me help you. Let me help you get away from the pain. Let me take away that pain for you," Lexa whispered, her other hand falling atop Clarke's as they sat in her lap.

And despite all the battling, the confusion, running around in her brain…Clarke couldn't stop herself in that moment. It had to have been the overwhelming sense of protection, of safety, coming from the brunette that she felt over and over again. It had to have been the care that Lexa showed to Clarke, the way she cradled her in her arms as she hummed to her during her attack.

It had to have been everything…from the very beginning…that caused Clarke to do what she suddenly found herself doing.

Bandage wrappers and the tube of ointment suddenly fell to the floor, shoved aside by shaking hands. A gasp sounded in the near silent apartment, the stutter of two hearts quite possible to be able to hear. Pink lips covered the rosy reds of Lexa's, sealing them softly.

And suddenly Clarke felt alive.

Safe.

Goddamn protected.

She could feel Lexa's slight hesitation before her hands wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer, lips moving languidly against her own. Everything made sense then. The battle that waged inside her, wanting Lexa as far away from her as possible but also to never leave her side, made sense.

She felt for Lexa.

Cared for her.

More than she had for anyone before.

Clarke barely knew Lexa, didn't even really knew anything about her…but that didn't seem to matter. Nothing seemed to matter because her heart told her that what she felt was true. That in such little time she was able to let herself feel something for this woman before her. To feel that she could let Lexa see her at her worst. That maybe she didn't need to hide anything from her.

That she could let her in…she could help her.

The thought spurred Clarke further, shifting herself to straddle Lexa's lap as her fingers lifted up to grip onto brunette locks. Lexa's hands found her hips, gripping carefully, and steadied Clarke as she rested fully against her. Clarke couldn't stop her tongue from darting out the run across the silky surface of Lexa's lip, earning a low moan from the brunette.

Suddenly Lexa pulled away, hands pushing her back gently, chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath,"Clarke…we can't."

Swollen lips parted, trembling as she realized the mistake she had made. Of course Lexa didn't want her like that. Not with the scars and bruises that she donned. Lexa was beautiful. She could have any girl she wanted. Why would she want her?

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't…you know what. Just forget it. It was stupid of me…Oh God, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…," Clarke rambled, a ball of nerves coiling painfully in her stomach.

As she moved to shuffle off Lexa's lap, slender fingers once more found her hips and pulled her back and held her there firmly. The breath caught in Clarke's throat as her shirt rose up a bit and allowed a few of Lexa's fingers to come into contact with her skin. The feeling sent electric tingles through her body…one's that she had never truly felt before.

The confused her…but most of all excited her.

"It's not that I don't want to…it's just I don't want you to do something that you'll regret. You're in a vulnerable place right now, Clarke. I can tell that you can't seem to get a clear mind. That something's going on inside that brain of your's," Lexa whispered as she lifted a hand to run the tips of her fingers down Clarke's temple,"There's something different about you. The way I feel…I've never felt this way about someone. I've only just met you yet I feel like I've known you my entire life. You wake something up inside of me. Something that I want to feel every second of every day. I can't really explain what that feeling is right in this moment…but I know with time I can figure it out. I just don't want you to rush into something that you're not ready for because it makes you feel safe."

Damn. Lexa had all but taken the words right out of Clarke's mouth. She knew she felt something for the girl. Something she had never truly experienced before. Something that she, just as Lexa, couldn't explain.

With time.

Would she have time to figure it out? Would she be able to figure out this emotion that was pulled forth by Lexa? Or would she succumb to the daily beatings…never really knowing what she felt.

The goddamn battle was back.

Once again, her mind waged war. Her heart begging her to let herself experience these new feelings, yet her mind begged her to run. To push Lexa away, hurting her in the process, but securing her safety. Her head began to pound. A dull ache working it's way up until it throbbed at her temples.

She couldn't do this.

Her battle to protect or be protected was slowly dying out as she began to loose energy. Emotionally and physically. Her body ached all over, ribs still crying out as well as the cuts that covered her arms and legs. With Lexa so near to her all the pain seemed to ebb away. Just a distant memory in her mind while she ghosted her lips across the brunette's.

Clarke shook her head sharply as she slowly pushed away Lexa's hands and fumbled away from her lap,"I don't…I can't. My mind is so messed up right now. I don't know what I'm doing, Lexa. I have no idea what I'm feeling. I just…I think it's best if I left."

Before Lexa could respond Clarke was already making her way towards the door. And there was her heart…calling for Lexa to stop her. To tell her to stay. Even if she had to say no.

"Wait! Please don't go."

Warm fingers curled around her hand, stopping it in it's tracks as she reached for the door handle.

And god did her heart leap.

Clarke slowly turned around and met the pleading eyes of Lexa. She could tell there was more that Lexa wanted to say, but noticed that she was holding off until she responded.

"I can't stay, Lexa. I need to go," Clarke said as she tried to pull away from Lexa's hand.

Her fingers only tightened around her, not threateningly…but desperately,"Clarke, please. I know you're not in the best place right now, but I can tell that you feel something here, too. I can see that your scared of it. That you're not used to someone trying to protect you. That's why I want us to take time to figure this out. I don't want you to mistake feeling safe and protected for…love. A lot of people in your same position do that. They become attached to someone who cares or protects them…and they mistake it for love."

Of course. She remembered learning something about this in one of her classes. The 'typical' female falling head over heels for her rescuer. Thinking that just because she was 'saved' by said rescuer that she was in love with them. Classic damsel in distress.

"What you just did," The words brought a slight flush to Lexa's cheeks,"I can tell there's a little more to it. That there's something buried there. And I'm willing to sort through that. But you have to let me help you. I can't continue to see all of this and not do anything."

Clarke glanced down to her arm as Lexa gestured to it. Somewhere in the back of her mind she wondered if Lexa was only doing this so she might have a chance of bringing down Clarke's abuser…but something else entirely told her that that was a lie. That Lexa was being genuine. Honest.

"I don't know. Like I said, I can't think straight. Everything's just a blur. I need some time," Clarke said softly.

"And I'll give you all the time you need. At least let me help you. You can stay here…with me. I can keep you safe from whoever's hurting you. Just let me help you."

Clarke stared at the brunette, green eyes pleading as they bore into blue. Her mind contemplated the offer, something that startled her, but was quickly shut down as she remembered her 'lesson' from earlier that morning.

"I need to get home. My mom will be waiting for me," Clarke lied, finally pulling her hand away from Lexa's.

Before the blonde could fully turn back to open the door, she stopped herself. Shifting back around to see Lexa still gazing at her Clarke quickly closed the distance between them. Slightly chapped lips pressed against a smooth, tan cheek, a bit of heat rising under it as she pulled away. Lexa was wide eyed, mouth parted slightly, fingers unconsciously lifting to brush against where her lips had been only moments ago.

"Thank you, Lexa," Clarke whispered as she opened the door.

Thank you for making me feel protected.

Making me feel safe.

Loved.

Those thoughts tumbled around in her head as she walked out the door and closed it behind her. She was sure she didn't need to voice them from Lexa to understand. The simple 'thank you' was more than enough to express her feelings. Body still aching but feeling slightly better than she had in a long time, Clarke made her way towards the stairs, ready to start her journey home.

Right before she could take the first step down a soft ding sounded from her pocket. Stopping in her tracks, Clarke pulled her phone out and unlocked the device to see a text from her mother.

"Hi, sweetie! I know you're probably in class right now, but I just wanted to let you know that Anthony and I will be gone until tomorrow night. A coworker of mine invited us to a charity gala in the next town over so we'll be staying there for the night! There's food in the fridge but I've left some money for you in my room in case you wanted to order yourself something! I love you! We'll see you tomorrow night!"

Clarke shoved the device back into her pocket, mind spinning at the fact that her house would be devoid of Anthony for a full night. It was very rare that Anthony was gone for more than a few hours. The last time he was gone for more than one night was when he visited his mother after his father had passed away less than a year ago.

A night alone. No Anthony. No beating. Nothing. A night to sleep peacefully in her bed and not having to fear waking up too late and being at the mercy of fists.

But suddenly, Clarke didn't want to be alone in her own home.

The home that housed so many terrible memories. The housed the times she had practically woken up screaming from nightmares.

A night to do as she wished.

And once again, Clarke wouldn't be able to give anyone an answer as to how she ended up back at the brunette's door, knuckles already rasping against the solid wood. It didn't take long for Lexa to throw open the door, almost as if she anticipated Clarke's return. Throat tightening slightly Clarke just allowed her gaze to drift down the brunette's form before locking their eyes together.

"Just for tonight," The blonde whispered,"One night."

Her heart stuttered as Lexa failed to suppress the smile that formed over her lips,"One night."

Clarke could feel herself smiling back as Lexa moved aside in order for her to walk into the apartment. She wasn't sure it was the best decision to make but, as she stepped passed Lexa, the growing familiarity of protection rose around her…and suddenly she didn't care anymore.

And, when Lexa's hand shifted to the small of her back to lead her to the couch, Clarke realized just what she was getting herself into. What she was getting Lexa into.

But she didn't care.

She was going to allow herself this one night. To feel safe and secure. To be in the company of someone who didn't dare to think of laying a hand on her body. Clarke was going to allow herself to feel. If only for tonight.

"What are you doing to me?" Clarke thought to herself as she stared at Lexa.

Unbeknownst to her, Lexa was mentally repeating the same phrase for the second time since meeting her.