Hmmmm, thank you for your reviews, Guest. I find it a bit rude the way you liked my story the first time you read it, and now you've just written a review and said it was bad. I don't know why you'd do that.
I'd like to apologize to all my fans for waiting over a year to update my story. It will all be worth it, I promise you!
Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to you, Guest.
I wasn't really pregnant, that was just a joke, but when I saw Tokyo's face, I decided to keep it up for as long as possible, which I guess would be nine months.
Backstage, they were really annoying and they told me to stop shouting and to calm down.
I didn't want to calm down, especially not when a load of security guards and Felificent and Hanky were the ones telling me to do it. So I stayed quiet for a minute, just to trick them.
They all seemed to relax, and then, when they were all off guard, I screamed as loud as I could. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
It ripped my vocal chords, I think, but it was worth it, because they all jumped and put their hands over their ears. Seeing them all so stressed out calmed me down, and finally, after maybe like a million hours, they finally let me get back to my room, where I chilled out and watched some TV.
The days went by and I spent my time watching quality TV shows. I learnt what life was like in the past, when people lived in places like 'Jersey Shore' and visited wise men like Mr Maury and Mr Springer to find out family secrets. Omg, people in the past are gobshites, and I am so glad I am a sophisticated modern woman.
It was the last night before I entered the Games that I scratched my arse and found some toilet paper still stuck there. It was white and kind of chocolatey brown, but it was the white colour that was important. The toilet paper in the Capitol was all purple. That meant this toilet paper had come from District 9. It was my last link to my home, and my friends and my stupid bitchy Maw.
I felt kind of sentimental, which is a bit stupid, but omg I apologize for having a HEART okay? I clutched the toilet paper to my chest and this little tear came out of my eye, because I remembered the photo on the bathroom wall of me and Tokyo holding a stuffed teddy that I used to look at whenever I was doing a shite or peeing. Me and Tokyo had visited the funfair, where this little girl won a teddy bear when she threw some ball at a pile of cups and knocked it down. She was so happy, because she was shit poor and she'd never had a teddy before. But I wanted the teddy, so when Tokyo wasn't looking, I kicked the girl in the leg and knocked her over. She started crying and I robbed her teddy, and then we took that photo, in what was possibly my happiest moment. Some bread flavoured candy floss was in my hand, and Tokyo was making his hottest face, where his eyes are slightly crossed and his tongue kind of curly looking.
The door opened, and Hanky came in, looking scared like a little mouse if there was a tiger holding a machine gun in front of him, and also they were both strapped to bombs and had no food. "Yustina?"
I jumped and threw the toilet paper into the air. "I'm not hugging anything or crying anything you stupid little prick and if you tell anyone I was, I will bite off your fingers, toes, tongue and dick when you are sleeping." I actually would do that too, because I have always wondered what that sensation would feel like- the bones snapping under my teeth, my mouth exploding with warm blood.
"I didn't see anything!" Hanky squeaked, like a little mouse who was about to get his fingers, toes, tongue and dick bitten off by a sexy sexy woman with a smoking hot body. "I just wanted to tell you that you need to be up early to enter the Games."
"OK who died and made you boss?" I asked.
"I'm just trying to help," said Hanky.
"Don't care," I said. "I'm watching TV. Leave me alone or else."
So Hanky left the room, looking all scared. I went back to watching the new programme I'd discovered- Breaking Bad, which is really good, and highly recommended by me.
It was about nine o'clock the next morning when there was another knock on the door.
"The fuck is it?" I called, politely.
"Felificent," said some whiny voice from outside. "We need you out here. You're going into the Games today."
"Make me!" I said, which did not go down well.
The door opened, and Felificent came in with three big muscular guys who you would think were either security guards or male strippers. You honestly would not be sure, especially if you were really tired, because you'd stayed up all night watching Breaking Bad.
I started clapping, because I didn't have music, and I wanted them to dance for me. I didn't have any money on me, but in between clapping, I found a chocolate bar wrapper in my pocket, so I waved that at the tallest one. "Take off your clothes and I might just stick this in your ass crack," I said, really temptingly.
They all just stared at me. "What?" said the tall one, bending his head sidewards like a confused dog who needed Caesar Flickerman to train him.
"That's what strippers do on TV," I said. "I just don't have money."
"Well isn't that the point?" said the stripper with the curly hair. "They don't just want things in their asses, they want money."
I don't like when guys are smart as well as good looking, cause it makes me feel like a bimbo, which I am NOT. "Dance!" I shouted. "Dance, dance, dance, dance, dance!"
"I told you she was a difficult tribute," muttered Felificent.
"You're just jealous because nobody would ever pay you to strip for them," I said.
"Nobody's paying us either," hinted the curly haired stripper.
"I don't have any bleeding money," I said. "If I did, I'd have got my tramp stamp by now."
"This is ridiculous," said the last stripper. "Get out of bed, put on your clothes, and get ready for the arena."
"What's it like being the ugliest stripper?" I asked, and then he took out a gun and pointed it at me.
I held up my own hands like a gun, fingers pointed out. "If you shoot, I shoot," I said, trying to sound threatening. I just hoped he didn't notice that I didn't actually have a gun.
He did. "You don't have a gun," he said. "You have ten seconds to get out of the bed."
I had no more options, which made me so mad I wanted to rip all the teeth out of his head and shove them up his arse, but instead, I had to get ready for the stupid Games. That gay French guy dressed me up, and I wasn't allowed to say anything, because if I did, the stupid ugly stripper would shoot me and I didn't want to get shot. I hated him. Also, I hated Felificent, because I knew it was her fault they'd come.
And then finally, after the most boring few hours of my life, where I literally couldn't even see Tokyo because they said he'd be a distraction, I was put into some weird tube yolk, and then that was it, I was in the Games I guess.
The first thing I noticed was the cold. It felt like someone had stuck me into a giant ice-cream. I wondered if the snowy, blistering cold was edible.
There were other tributes standing near me, and I knew we all needed to go find weapons, but to be honest, I wasn't arsed, because I had my teeth. My plan was to sharpen my teeth like knives, and then just bite everyone to death. So while everyone else all ran to fight it out for weapons, I walked off, with Tokyo following behind me, the cold making us cold.
The Games had begun. Obviously, seriously, if you needed me to tell you that, you're a dope.
