7. Realisations.
"Put her in here," Snape commanded, pointing into the Headmaster's bedroom. The Doctor moved past him with a sneer and deposited Donna roughly on the undisturbed bed, ignoring her groan of pain. "Now, come with me. I have something of yours that apparently I must return to you without delay."
"Something of mine?" The Doctor demanded, following closely on Snape's heels as the taller man walked smoothly back into the main office. "I knew I couldn't trust you! What is it?"
Snape pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Obviously I need to do a better job next time. Bartemus may be insane, but he is not as stupid as to ask someone who," he added pointedly, "he doesn't trust, what it is that he has stolen!"
"What are you talking about?"
Snape looked like he was resisting the urge to bang his head against a wall. "Remember that little, significant conversation we had regarding your secret identity? Doctor. The Cruciatus cannot have altered your cognitive processes enough for you to forget that – unless, as you stated shortly after arriving in our universe, you really are going senile."
"I'm not senile!"
Snape pushed an exasperated breath out through his large nose. "And that," he demanded, "is the information you decide to debate?"
"As you just said, Snape, we've had the Doctor discussion before."
There was a brief silence. "That is true," he muttered, as though he didn't want to admit it, before swirling around and gesturing to the Pensieve that still lay upon the desk. "Take out the memories belonging to the Doctor and put them in your head."
"What?"
"Put them in your head," Snape snarled, clearly in no mood to explain properly, "or I shall put them in for you – and I assure you, it will not be pleasant. After you have finished, I shall turn your current memories into third party witness accounts."
"But-"
"Just," Snape snapped slowly, "do it."
oOO
"You let them do what?" the Doctor demanded, suddenly vaulting out of his chair and pacing around the office in agitation.
"I did not let them do anything, Doctor. I had no choice in the matter."
"You could have kept us here in secret – you could have done anything else, but instead you decide to turn us into Death Eaters! Why is that? Do you get satisfaction from messing around in other people's minds? Perhaps you like the power, Headmaster? Did you want company – someone to hold your hand while you bowed before your dear Master's feet-"
"Enough!" Snape shouted. "I need no-one's help! I was only trying to help you-"
"By turning me into a Death Eater? I just knelt there and let them torture her!"
"You had no choice! I have told you many times! Is obstinacy an inherent trait in Time Lords?" Snape demanded, irritated beyond all possible measure. "How did you expect me to help return you to your universe as well as everything else I have to do without anyone finding out? It was much simpler-"
"You put us in danger – you put her in danger! Did you even check to see that she was alright before you cast her aside like that?"
"Of course I did!" Snape snapped, suddenly on his feet and mere inches from the Doctor's face. "I cannot say the same for what you did, however."
"You'd messed with my mind!" the Doctor defended, but all blood had disappeared from his face. "I didn't know who I was-"
Snape sneered. "You seem to think me a cruel, heartless monster, but even I would have the decency to check my 'assistant's' health-"
"And of course that makes you so much better," the Doctor snapped dangerously. "You would care for her instrumental value, nothing more – but that's not me! I care for her – she's my friend and I will not let you hurt her like that again!"
"If you want my help," Snape said, "you have no choice. In any case…you are branded – unless of course you have forgotten that too," he added snidely. "Your dear friend is just as stranded in this situation as you are, Doctor, and there is nothing you can do about it."
The Doctor's nose flared as he struggled to regain control of himself. "I want to see her."
Snape stepped back, all cold barriers thrown up once more. "Of course," he drawled, his voice cold. "I am surprised that, given your outrage, you did not ask sooner."
The Doctor simply glared at Snape, doing nothing in this moment to hide his utter hatred of the man before him.
"You know where she is, I believe."
The Doctor whirled away from Snape and stalked into the bedroom, trying to quell the frantic rhythm of his two hearts as he saw the immobile shape on the immaculate bed. Creeping closer, trying not to wake Donna, he gazed at her, abruptly reminded of the many reasons why he had many times considered travelling alone.
But, he knew, selfish impulse had always won out. He had gotten lonely, just as he had all those other times. He'd found someone, taken them with him, and then ruined their life. Again. All for loneliness.
The Doctor snorted. He was a nine hundred year old Time Lord – he should have known better.
He frowned as Donna groaned, her foot twitching seemingly of its own accord. There were a lot of things that he should have known better – never trust a spy, for one.
"Who's there?" A weak voice called out as Donna shakily raised herself up into a half sitting position.
The Doctor swallowed, pushing his thoughts to the back of his mind as he sat beside his friend. "It's me, Donna."
"Master Crouch? But – but – I'm sorry, sir…I shouldn't stutter – not like that, but…why – no, never mind, it…" Donna swallowed, her eyes shining brightly. "Doesn't matter." She grimaced. "I'm just a silly Muggle, right, sir?"
"Why am I here?"
Donna seemed to stop breathing.
"Why do I care? Why do I call you 'Donna'?" He was well aware of what his alter-ego had done and how he had treated the woman before him, and it made him feel sick with himself. Except it wasn't him, was it?
"I – I shouldn't have asked…"
"No," the Doctor replied, staring at her in surprise, "you shouldn't have, but you did." He resisted the urge to break into a wide smile, despite the circumstances. "I suppose some things never change."
"Does this mean that…" Donna swallowed and re-started her sentence, as she seemed to do frequently in this persona. "I mean – you're safe, Master Crouch?"
"The Dark Lord accepted me, yes. Hopefully, this means we'll be safe."
"…W – sir?"
"Yes, we," the Doctor emphasised firmly. "I'm not letting you out of my sight."
"You should not speak to her like that," Snape admonished from the doorway. "She might gather the mistaken impression that you care for her, Bartemus."
The Doctor was on his feet and in front of Snape in a second. "I do care for her, and I want you to change her back – right now."
"Unfortunately that is not possible."
There was an ominous calm before the storm.
"…WHAT?"
Snape did not seem willing to expand on his response any further than a simple smirk.
"It's not possible," the Doctor suddenly demanded, "or you don't want to make it possible? Well? Answer me! Which is it?"
"Miss Noble," Snape replied with aggravating slowness, "was much more talented at playing her part obediently tonight than she appears to have ever been. It would be safer for both of you-"
"She's terrified! She can barely talk – she can't get through a single sentence without having to start again because she's so scared of who she's talking to!"
"Precisely."
"What?"
"Perhaps we should move this – ah – discussion into another room."
"No. Change her back, Headmaster – now, or I'll leave this castle, and you, high and dry to face the wrath of Voldemort!"
Snape flinched, his left arm flexing slightly even as Donna gasped. "You must not speak the Dark Lord's name, Bartemus."
The Doctor resisted the urge to grind his teeth together. "I thought Professor Dumbledore told you to change us back after the meeting?"
"You, however, questioned why I listen to a simple portrait. What is to stop me from keeping her in a more appropriate role?"
"Oh come on! You – this is ridiculous!" the Doctor shouted, running his hands through his hair. "If anything," he muttered, "JK Rowling probably under-exaggerated you…Look," he added more loudly, "she doesn't have to go back, does she? She's the 'Muggle assistant' – how often do Muggles attend raids and meetings?"
"Rarely," Snape admitted.
"Right, good, because I think they'd hate it – which leads to my next point. If she's a 'muggle', she won't be at the meetings. If she won't be at the meetings, she won't need her persona to be so deeply ingrained in her mind, and she can easily be taught Occlumency just in case she does end up back there."
Snape's face had become marble. "I see that you enjoy your dazzling displays in logic, Doctor."
"Since you didn't think of it," the Doctor snapped right back, "I think my triumph is justified, don't you? Now change her back, or we both leave right now and you lose your position as spy!"
Snape made no move.
"I would be a traitor," the Doctor continued, taking advantage of Snape's silence to really enforce the point and underline it in bold, despite its obvious existence, "and you, the one who re-introduced me into the fold, would be questioned as to my sudden disappearance – I don't think even you could last long under the extensive questioning which Voldemort would put you under after making him look like such an idiot and," he continued triumphantly, "tricking him with such an obviously fictional muggle technology ploy."
"I shall teach her Occlumency in formal lessons," Snape sneered, "and you will reinforce the lessons with her whenever you have the opportunity. I do not care how much her head will ache, nor how she does not want to practice – she will become proficient, and if I feel that the case is otherwise, she is returning to this state."
"Right, fine, yes."
Jars of misty looking gas came floating into the room and Snape stalked over to the bed to begin the long process of replacing Donna's memories. The Doctor glared at the man's back, wondering when the spy had become so illogical and hard-headed and…difficult. Anyone, he thought, could see the point in changing Donna's memories back to normal, yet Snape seemed reluctant to take even one small risk.
Perhaps, a voice niggled in the back of his mind, that was what you were doing when you considered travelling alone.
